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You don't have to spend lots of money and travel to far away places on the other side of the globe if you want to find out about other peoples' Christmas customs, just hop over the Channel and look at what your fellow Europeans do, I'm sure it's different enough from what you know.

For the little ones the Christmas season starts on 1st December when they open the first door of their Advent Calendar (advent, from Latin = arrival, coming). In my youth that meant two sheets of cardboard glued together, the top one showing a picture with a winter or a Christmas motive into which 24 little 'doors' were cut. When opening them a tiny picture painted on the sheet underneath became visible. Nowadays kids would only sneer at such a cheap thingy, the new ones have some space between the two sheets so that at least some chocolate can be put behind the doors. More modern versions are strings hanging on the walls or anything which might hold 24 little parcels.

The four Sundays before Christmas are the so-called Advent Sundays. Whereas the Advent Calendar is for children, nearly every household has an Advent Wreath made of fir twigs with four, usually red, candles for the four Sundays. Although it isn't forbidden to lighten them all at once, most people don't, they light first one candle, the following Sunday two and so on.

The 6th December is Nikolaus Day, a very important date in the life of a German child. When I was thinking of writing this op, I realized for the first time in my life that I don't know how Nikolaus or Father Christmas travel. Certainly not by reindeer sledge, but how then? I don't know nor does anyone else and we don't bother. The means of transportation for the Christmas personnel is just no issue here, what matters is that they arrive. How the presents reach the child is also unknown and not seen as relevant, either, what I know for sure is that the chimney isn't used, neither by Nikolaus nor by Father Christmas.

The figure of Nikolaus goes back to a legendary bishop in Asia Minor who lived from around 280 to around 350, the exact dates are unknown. His first good deed was to throw three bags of gold through the window of a pauper who was so desperate that he was considering prostitution for his three daughters. With that dowry, however, he was able to marry them off to honourable men. Later the bishop performed some miracles, all in the field of charity. The Nikolaus German children love is also known in other European countries, the transformation of the historical into a mythical figure occurred in the 13th century in France. Sometimes Nikolaus has got so much to carry so that he's accompanied by a servant with the name of Rupprecht.

Whereas Father Christmas is quite an elusive guy, it's not difficult to get into personal contact with Nikolaus. The town where I live has a Police Academy (not the American movie variety, a serious one, I know, because I taught English there some years ago!), together with the local newspaper they organise a Rent-a-Nikolaus-service in December.

The parents call it and order a young policeman who dresses up as Nikolaus (very much like Father Christmas); when he rings the bell, they go out, give him about 10 pounds (the money goes to a local Charity project), the presents (small ones, Nikolaus Day is not a second Christmas) and a list with the vices and virtues of the children, the highpoint of the performance! I've been present at some and must say, it's really nice. First Nikolaus introduces himself with a poem, then he reads from his list, praising or scolding the children, using his switch if necessary (no modern pedagogics here!) depending on what he finds on the list, but always ending on a positive note and handing over the presents after listening to poems and songs the little ones have prepared for him. Very rarely does it happen that a child is really frightened and doesn't reappear from under the sofa while he's present!

Pre-Christmas time in Germany is not only attractive for children, though. All over the country there are Christmas markets, the most famous ones being in Nürnberg (Nuremberg), München (Munich), Stuttgart and Dresden. There are rows of stalls surrounding a tall decorated fir tree, offering all kinds of things you can give away as presents (or buy for yourself, of course), Christmas decorations, cribs and nativity figures and lots of good things to eat and drink! THE drink is Glühwein, a spiced hot red wine. 'Glühen' means 'to glow', drink some and you'll understand the name as your cheeks will glow at once. While you're strolling across the market, you can hear trumpets playing or choirs singing Christmas carols.

What about office parties? Well, here the cultural differences are great indeed. We haven't got any really, what we've got is called 'Feier', the nearest translations are 'celebration' or 'ceremony'. I've just read a newspaper report about what's going on in your country before Christmas, in parts it sounds like a report from Exotistan to me! The average male Brit drinks 11 glasses of wine or 5 pints of beer, the average female 5 glasses of wine during their several Christmas parties and 54% (men and women) feel that snogging is a natural ingredient. (I'm only quoting, the report is based on an article from the Daily Telegraph, feel free to comment!)

I won't deny that there are Germans as well who participate in 'Weihnachtsfeiern' only to get pissed and/or snogged, but the majority does not. Let me describe what we do on the last day before our Christmas holidays start. Some teachers who haven't got a lesson in the morning prepare an empty classroom by decorating it with fir twigs and candles, no holly or mistletoe although we've got those plants in abundance in Germany, too. Funny that that tradition hasn't caught on in Germany what with our (unhealthy) desire to imitate anything AngloAmerican! (I've found the English wish 'Merry Christmas' in big letters in many German shop windows!)

After the last meeting in the staff room the teachers who want to participate go there, eat and drink, yes, they drink, but moderately and chat.

And how they chat! The noise level of a group of teachers can be deafening. There won't be any sitting on laps, no snogging (although there are certainly some snogworthy colleagues), no disappearing in adjacent empty classrooms!

The adjectives which come to a German's mind when thinking of Christmas are calm, cosy, contemplative, cheerful, the perfect alliteration!

Now let's come to Christmas proper. Believe it or not, Christmas in Germany is on 24th December, not on 25th! I don't know if we're the only people in the world with that peculiarity; but I feel it doesn't matter really as nobody knows when Jesus Christ was born anyway. As far as I know he wasn't even born in the year from which we start counting, but in year 4 or 7 A.D.

When the 24th is a workday, most shops close at 2 p.m., then people go home and start preparing whatever they want to prepare. The first church services are at 5 p.m., let's accompany a family to church at that time. When they come home, the children are told to go to their rooms/visit friends in the neighbourhood/watch TV, in one word: make themselves invisible. The parents take the presents out of their hiding-places and put them under the Christmas tree which they might have decorated together with the children the day before or before going to church.

I can't speak for 80 million Germans, but I know that many families have traditionally a very frugal supper on the 24th, my grandma used to prepare a salad of herring, potatoes and beetroot, others eat sausages with potato salad. Then the door of the Christmas room is opened, some families sing, play a record with Christmas carols or play musical instruments and then, at last, the parcels can be opened!

The 25th is the day of the big Christmas dinner, it can be a carp or a stuffed goose, mostly it's something heavy which goes down better with the help of some Schnaps. Nothing much happens, the children play with their toys, the grown ups digest. In the afternoon people go for a walk or visit family, on 26th the same programme, but then the visit might include friends and neighbours.

The typical German Christmas is wonderful if you have a family or a stable relationship, then the only problem is "When do we go to whose family?", but what if not? The policemen I taught told me how they dread being on duty during the Christmas holidays, it's suicide time! (Being on duty on New Year's Eve isn't much better, though, then it's manslaughter time (what has that word become in PC speech, 'person'slaughter?) What if you haven't got anybody to sit together with and no place where to go?

Germany is completely dead in the evening of 24th December. I studied the local newspaper, 81 restaurants and pubs have their opening hours between Christmas and 1st January published, only one restaurant is open all day on the 24th, a Chinese one! Late at night one or two discos open for the older kids who can't stand Christmas at home any longer, want to show off their presents or lament about them. On 25th and 26th things look a bit brighter, but on the whole German Christmas is an at home thingy and can be very hard indeed!

Have a good time wherever you are, with whomever you celebrate and whatever you do!