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Review of "Fiction"

published 11/11/2008 | wantaratgirl
Member since : 09/10/2008
Reviews : 40
Members who trust : 19
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Thanks for all those who read and rate i will try to return! Ratty :¬) xx
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"The Marino Mystery"

Hi, everyone. I am really into writing stories at the moment - I would really like to be a writer. Probably no hope but this is a story I wrote when I was ten. I have like ten million saved on my computer and when I saw this on ciao i thought i would put one of my earliest on. This is only the beginning and I'm very sorry if it's awful hope you like it though ...


Isabella Flavia Relli Marino's whole world revolved around her Aunt and her cats. Isabella (Izzy) loved cats, it wasn't her choice to love cats, but ever since she came to her aunt, she was given a cat on her birthday. She was now 12 years old, which meant that she had 11 cats. This was a lot but it didn't mean that Izzy loved any of them any less than the others (well Izzy liked to say that).
Izzy came to her aunt Ingrid in an unexpected twist of fate where her parents died. Izzy did not know how they died and it did not particularly bother her. Izzy didn't care whether her parents had drowned or died in a fire it didn't change the fact that they were dead and that she would never see them again.
Izzy didn't remember her parents and she didn't miss them either. She never had regular contact with the outside world either, so she didn't get the regular pity that other orphans were used to. Izzy was a tomboy, a tuff, optimistic girl; she didn't waste time and was a direct person. She could be sensitive but often didn't see the need to. The only people in the house were her and Aunt Ingrid and seeing as she and as being direct was Aunt Ingrid's approach to life this was fine. The cats were a pretty normal bunch of cats, apart from their names. The names were chosen by Izzy and Izzy loved to read. Each cat apart from three was named after an interesting character from a book. The cat's names were: Tree, Holly, Bramble, Mog, Nelly, Robinson, Jimmy, Sparkle, Dumbledore, Posy, Poirot and Sherlock. The first three cats were named by Aunt Ingrid who thought that nature would make good names for cats!
Izzy's life was very predictable. She was home schooled by Aunt Ingrid in their tall spindly house on the hill. Every morning at 7:00am exactly Izzy would run all the way round the garden and to the fence leading on to the lane and then back up the spiralling garden path round the hill to the house. She would then have a shower or wash then go downstairs and have breakfast, which was always Muesli and a slice of brown buttered toast. She would then go through to the front room where Aunt Ingrid would teach her an hour of grammar, punctuation and spellings and half an hour of handwriting. They would then break and Izzy would have two chocolate biscuits and a glass of milk. She would then be sent off to the library to read for an hour. She would then write a rough book summary and then copy it up in neat with drawings; all of these had been placed in a leather bound folder. At 12 o'clock she would make her way down to the kitchen with Aunt Ingrid and together they would cook lunch - every dish was photographed and a recipe of what they did exactly was placed in another bound folder. They would then eat lunch and go upstairs. During this time Izzy would spend an hour working on her patchwork quilt whilst Aunt Ingrid (who wasn't as fit as she used to be went for a quiet afternoon nap which was always an hour long give or take ten minutes.)Izzy would then do 1 hour's worth of science experiments and an hour's worth of write ups - these too were filed. Aunt Ingrid would then teach Izzy two
hours worth of maths, which unfortunately wasn't Izzy's best subject. They would then break for Tea and after that Izzy would complete the assault course in the field at the bottom of the hill. Then Izzy would shower and change into her Pyjamas. She would come downstairs for a steaming mug of Coca and to draw things for her art lesson. Then finally Izzy would go to bed. It was a long day but Izzy only had to do four days like this a week and then she got the rest of the week all to herself.
Izzy would often go on her computer and order things online; such as the time she bought three hundred t-shirts - all in different colours! And then there was the time Izzy bought a rabbit on Pets4You-online! The list of things that Izzy had bought online was endless. IT began with Clothes, Carpets, Rugs, Lamps, Pets, Material, Paper, Pens, a T.V., DVD's and ended with A pair of earrings and Music; it went on and on. Izzy just loved the thrill of buying things online she loved the satisfactory thud of a parcel being dropped by their dark wooden door. Izzy lived an ordinary, rather boring life and Izzy wanted more.
Izzy wanted to travel the world see strange and unusual creatures. Izzy's list of things she wanted to do and to see (very much like her list of thing's she'd bought) was endless it went:
• Go on a train.
• Travel to London.
• Go on a plane.
• Go on a boat.
• Go under a sea.
• Go to France.
• When in France go up the Eiffel tower.
• Paint the town Red.
• Post a letter.
• Meet a Cheetah.
• Go to Rome.
• Go to India.
• Learn Belly Dancing.
And this really was only a small portion of Izzy's list; she wanted to do hundred's of things and meet hundreds of people. You could say really that she wanted to travel to almost every country on earth! Izzy had big ambitions. Aunt Ingrid never worked in all her life but she had big hopes of Izzy going to University. She wanted Izzy to be rich and famous. Aunt Ingrid thought that the only way to make Izzy famous was to keep her away from school, and other children. She didn't want Izzy to get lice, or play in the snow. She didn't want her messing around and only doing 30 hours of school work a day. Izzy had routine and in Aunt Ingrid's eyes Izzy was going somewhere. Aunt Ingrid had already had a child when Izzy came to her; it was a one night stand and it was a terrible shame for Aunt Ingrid - she was forced to give the poor baby away.
This was why Aunt Ingrid was so obsessed with giving Izzy a life.
Aunt Ingrid's house was everything to Izzy. Because she never went outside the grounds of the house, the house was her life. It was a tall spindly grey-white building four floors tall with long thin black windows decorated in the Victorian style. It stood on a hill and had 3 acres of land surrounding it. It was a beautiful house once but now was slightly in ruin but Izzy loved it in its slightly crumbling state. She thought it was beautiful, but Izzy loved everything about where she lived and her lifestyle it was perfect. Until one day it wasn't.


The day that life suddenly wasn't good enough happened to be only 1 day before Izzy's birthday. It was a Friday and like usual Izzy had no lessons. It was usual for Izzy to go for a run in the mornings even when she didn't have school. So when Izzy awoke at 7:05 feeling fresh and full of energy she popped on her running clothes and jogged out of her room. When she got down stairs instead of heading out the door, she went down to the kitchen feeling thirsty. Once she had poured herself a glass of orange juice and drunk it Izzy left the kitchen and went out the front door nearly tripping over her laces. "Ooops" she said, "I'd better do these up before I actually do trip and hurt myself." she bent down a tied her laces properly. Izzy started running beginning her jog again slowly building herself up to a quicker pace. She was running rather fast, according to the handy running watch on her arm (another online purchase). Which was all right for her; normally Izzy ran her course in an average 12-year-old speed. She worked out her speed each day on a little chart she'd downloaded off the internet. She logged all her times in it and usually came out as an average or occasionally an average/slightly above average score. However, today thought Izzy if she kept this up she might get an above average score, which would be just brilliant especially as it was so close to her birthday.
After her run, Izzy went inside and had a shower. She washed her hair and changed into her favourite clothes: her red trousers, black top with a red Tank top over the top and black sparkly Alice band. She then walked down stairs slowly loving the feel of the fluffy carpet against her bare feet. She said good morning to her aunt in the kitchen eat a bacon sandwich and then go back upstairs to the study room where she slid into the office chair (one of those brilliant swing round chairs) pushed the power button on the computer with her toe and stroked tree. Tree was a lovely, big, squashy, cuddly black cat. He was the first cat that Izzy ever had he was also the oldest. She loved Tree very much (and even though Izzy didn't like to admit it she knew she loved tree a tiny bit more than all her other cats,). As soon as the computer had loaded Izzy clicked on the internet button and waited for the Google home page to load. As soon as it had, she clicked on the favourite's button and went straight to eBay. She typed in "Ipod touch". At the top of the list was a black brand new Ipod touch for only £120.00! She quickly placed a bid and 12 minutes later, it was accepted, then Izzy speedily changed her site to Amazon and within the hour had bought 10 books and 15 DVD's. Izzy also bought a week's shopping ingredients for her and Aunt Ingrid from Tesco. Izzy always shopped at Tesco because they always delivered to her door and Izzy really like friendly Harry (a 13-year-old delivery boy). Harry was very cool; he had long-ish brown hair and big blue eyes with lovely tanned skin. He was always funny and really polite to Izzy. He also always commented on Izzy's outfit. Because Izzy didn't see anyone else, she really loved the mornings when Harry would drop by and deliver the shopping.
After ordering all this online Izzy felt peckish so, she went down stairs to the kitchen. She raided the cupboards and grabbed a pack of biscuits. She took two out and went to leave the kitchen before remembering that she'd forgotten to go and collect the post from the post box at the bottom of the garden path. So crunching the biscuits Izzy yelled up to her aunt who was reading in the Library, "I am going to collect the post. I forgot this morning - OK?"
Aunt Ingrid called back "That's fine dear - don't be too long". Izzy set off for the second time this morning down the long, winding garden path. As she walked down the path she noticed how unusually warm it was but then she thought that actually it was May 1st so supposed to be warm.
When Izzy collected the post, she didn't expect any hand addressed birthday cards. However, Izzy did get post - mainly invoices from things she'd ordered online or receipts from more online purchases.
Today however Izzy had two hand written cards! She looked at the first one it was from Harry and she didn't recognise the writing on the second one.
But she took them up to the house and opened the first letter. It was as Izzy expected from Harry. It was a white card with a green flowers border on it was a cake. It was a magnificent cake; it was seven layers high and had a green border on it. Inside was a message it read: Busy Izzy, Have a Very Happy Birthday! Love from Harry. P.S. - Look by the door!!
It was a typically Harry card. Izzy wondered who'd sent the second card. She had promised her self only to open one card early (normally leaving Aunt Ingrid's until last) but she was desperate to find out who sent the second card. Therefore, she ripped open the envelope to reveal a black and white card with a picture of three cats yawning with a caption 'Happy Birthday'. She opened it and inside was the message: Isabella, You are living a lie. All the answers are at TR36 6YH. Be careful of the people surrounding you - they are most likely to be bad. Do not panic. Lots of love Aunt Ingrid x x x x x.
Izzy was shocked - was someone playing a practical joke? Well who ever it was, she thought, it wasn't very funny. But, what if it was true? No. she thought, she mustn't think like that. However, Izzy was seriously beginning to doubt her own lifestyle. It was a shocking thought but Izzy's life could all be a lie, her parents murdered and her now living with someone who could've been involved with that. The more she thought about it the more it seemed plausible - were 'Aunt Ingrid's' reasons for keeping her away from other people as innocent as they were supposed to be or was there a more sinister reason?
When Izzy entered the house, she knew Aunt Ingrid would be asleep - she always slept for 4 hours (10:00am - 2:00am) on a non-workday. Therefore, she crept into the kitchen and made herself a sandwich with ham and cheese she munched into it, her stomach getting tighter with every bite. In her mind, she kept rolling the idea over; she was getting more worried by the moment. It was also worrying her more that Aunt Ingrid was sleeping late.
By five, when she heard Aunt Ingrid get up, she had a plan ready. She would have a boiling pot of tea in her hand; she would then tell Aunt Ingrid all about the card and ask if it was true, if it was true, the pot of tea would act as a weapon and if not she could offer her aunt a pot of tea. It would work both ways. So taking a deep breath and with a pot of tea in her hand she invited Aunt Ingrid into the kitchen carefully concealing the pot of tea under the table. Once Aunt Ingrid was inside the kitchen Izzy explained about the Card. She then went on to explain about what she'd been going through in her mind. Aunt Ingrid went very pale and then with the strength of ten she charged at Izzy and slammed her against the wall. Izzy's breath was knocked out of her by this and as Aunt Ingrid began throttling her she began to see black and had an strong urge to give up her life to woman strangling her but something stronger inside of her made her lift up her hand and throw all the boiling tea all over 'Aunt Ingrid'. Then to add insult to injury she smashed the teapot on top of 'Aunt Ingrid's' head.
She stood there watching the woman she had called Aunt Ingrid for 11 years of her life fall to the floor and lie at her feet. Her nose was squashed against the floor in a unflattering pose but Izzy didn't stay to see much more she just turned and ran. She ran and ran and ran; Izzy felt she must have hit speeds of one - hundred miles per hour. Her heart was pumping so fast.
She ran through the hall along the corridor and out of the door. She sprinted down the winding path the shrubs and flowers whipping past her ankles, her head pounding. However, she still carried on running, now along the muddy path through the field heading towards the sharp corner before the gate. As she reached it, she skidded mud flying up everywhere. She threw the gate open and thundered into the quiet country lane. Izzy had never been this far out of her home but this didn't stop her she thudded along the road as if she had lived on it all her life and knew every single stone. When she came to the end of the lane, she skidded again, this time narrowly avoiding running into a canal but turning sharply right at the end and then carrying on sprinting down the narrow canal path. Izzy ran and ran and even when her legs wouldn't carry her she still carried on running and when the canal path ran out she still kept on running. Through fields and woods and quiet villages she ran for ages. It was about four hours later when she finally stopped, panting like a dog. It was now late at night - 9:30pm according to Izzy's watch. Suddenly the reality of what she had done and where she was sunk into Izzy.
The adrenaline was gone; she was miles from home in
a village she didn't know. She was terrified what would happen to her? She didn't know especially as she nearly killed the lady who had looked after her all her life. What would she do? So, in total despair Izzy sunk into the bush behind her head in her hands crying and crying. She'd be better off in prison then sitting here crying about being lost, even though she had attacked her so called 'Aunt Ingrid' in self defence. Izzy finally fell asleep in the bush but her worrying didn't stop there. She slept badly her mind was flooded with dreams of prisons.

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Comments on this review

  • skmm published 07/07/2016
    Beautifully written. For a ten year old this is exceptional. Good Luck in your endeavour to write stories....
  • catsholiday published 17/03/2010
    Very impressive for that of a ten year old
  • MizzMolko published 03/04/2009
    One word: Excellent! Very well done : ) Eleanor x
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Product Information : Fiction

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Listed on Ciao since: 15/11/2001