Ford Mondeo 1.8

The Ford Mondeo has to be one of the blandest cars on the road, it really stands for all the things I hate about the UK, bland safe golf playing daily mail readers who listen to Radio 2 (daytime) please look away now as its your world I am about to attack. And if you want valve clearances, engine overdrive quantum figures and tyre lift gear ratios please looks elsewhere as this review looks at actually having a new Mondeo not the facts and figures which you can just get off the Ford website

My expectations of the Mondeo (or MundaneO as we call them) was of a Rep chariot with standard poor ford quality, and a direct design evolution from the Cortina, but my initial opinions were totally incorrect, so lets put all my preconceptions aside and review it properly like on Top gear, but without the far right political agenda and childlike love for driving around to quickly.

Exterior Styling:
There is none, it’s very boring and would blend in to any Tesco car Park (as I found out with hilarious consequences when I got in to the wrong car and drove back to somebody else’s life). They have at least removed the nasty retro chrome, which ford seemed to have favoured on other models and gone for a more modern brushed aluminium look (brushed aluminium is the new black) But as for style, well there is none. All the handles feel solid, and all the external trim remains on the car after some 3K (which is a record for me). but there is no escaping its pure tedious boring looks, this car is designed to sit on a Barrat housing estate , that’s how boring and tame it is. It’s the new labour or car design trying to be all things to all Stepford husbands

Interior Styling:
Well it all works very well, buttons are positive and the level of equipment is quite good (electric windows, mirrors). The air-conditioning and heating system is one of the best I have seen and is both precise and functional. The cruise control takes a bit of getting used to, and I am sure in the wrong hands could dangerous

The Heated windscreen is an annoying diversion when driving as my eyes constantly focus on the elements embedded in the screen, which at 70+ on the motorway is not really a very good thing. The stereo is OK, but you get the impression that its made for a Perry Como fan rather than then a 37 death metal fan, it seems to gravitate on FM to Radio 2 and the lack of Bass is annoying (unless you are a Perry Como fan that is). Ford also (like many other manufactures) seems to have put there fingers in there ears sung a little song and shouted lalala we cant hear or see you 21st century, as there is no audio input for ipods, MP3 players or minidisk, there is also NO Bluetooth connection or even places to hold your mobile. You do get a retro clock, which looks rather like Clive Dunn at a rave, why put a horrid analogue clock in a Mecca to black plastic and brushed aluminium.

Most modern cars have cup holders and cubby holes, and although there are plenty of spaces for your latte that’s about it, no under seat storage or hand little holes for ipods, phones etc. There is also little interest in ergonomics of the driver, the only cubbyhole I found fell open and when I re-entered the car I gashed my leg.

The trim level in the car is quite good, but again it lacks the finishing touches, which other manufactures seem to offer. A prime example of this is the fact that none of the controls are lit, so if its dark and you want to find the handy steering column mounted radio controls or cruise control you are stuffed, and have to reach to use the aforementioned Radio2 loving stereo.

Driving experience

It is all adequate; it handles quite well, and its nice and quite. The cruise control is a good addition, but frankly I would have rather had stereo, which sounded good when cranked on the motorway. The word nice is phrase overused by me in this review, and to be fair if you want nice then this mondeo is probably the car for your nice family on there nice estate. But don’t forget that even nice Julie Andrew dropped out her puppies, and being nice all the time is not a good thing