Carla Van Raay's autobiography "Gods Callgirl" details the life of a naive, immature girl, then woman who is devoted to God but goes from obedient convent girl to sexual prostitute over the course of her life, but remains as naive as ever.
This life story is divided into three parts and develops the tale of this Dutch girl's life over the course of the book. Part one examines the life of a child abused by her father, yet finding she felt abandoned and alone once the abused ceased and her devotion to God from a very young age. As a school girl she idolising the convent and her sole ambition in life is to serve God as a nun in one of Australia's many convents.
As an early teenager feeling unloved at home by her family yet supporting her mother in everyday chores and childcare of her brothers and sister she found herself believing she was a product of the devil. A problem no confession could speak of, and no action could heal.
Part two follows the story of a girl in the early stages of womanhood - develop into a woman in her early thirties. The first page of part two sees Carla enter the convent - her first day serving God in God's house and making her parents proud, whilst the last page of part three see's her exit after two decades of obedience and silence serving the rules of God. We see Sister Mary Carla (chosen due to its femininity whilst other nuns donned male names such as Saint Anthony) embrace the religion she has devoted her life to, embrace the rules which she and the others must live by and accept the rules of obedience and poverty as well as silence. We are taken on a journey through the eyes of a confused woman, naive and isolated from reality and knowing only what the convent allowed her. We see a woman shipped halfway across the world to study in Manchester only to find she isn't allowed home, because she isn't good enough, we see her move to Holland to perfect her teaching skills, but be prevented from the responsibility of a full teaching role, and we see her parents fighting for her return to Australia when they begin to realise why she was prevented from travelling back with the other nuns.
Sister Mary Carla is pushed aside and treated as an outcast by her peers and forced into exile whilst ill in a dark room, with no explanation of her illness or treatment. 6 weeks later she returns to duties but is still silenced by their vows. It is this isolation which eventually backfires and see's Sister Mary Carla leave the convent and give up her alliance to God. On exiting she is cursed by elder Sisters and going back home feels like the ultimate betrayal to her father who had been so proud that his eldest was serving God - giving the family religious security in life.
Part three of her story see's Carla adjusting to reality, away from the silence, able to speak her mind, see her family and start her life, guided by her instincts and abilities to provide for herself. She is unfortunately still naive and innocent to normal life and feels overwhelmed by the differences between the outside world and world of a nun. Carla's naivety leads her to 1 marriage, 2 relationships, and children, by different fathers, adultery and prostitution.
This book explores the journey of isolation provided by the convent to nuns shielding them from the normality of life and looks at how different things are when a person is plunged into a world they do not know with little to their name other than their ability to teach and their devotion to God. A devotion which is questioned throughout this book though never entirely dismissed, despite the various exploits of Carla without her habit.
I will not disclose the ending, because if you haven't been interested in the above then the ending will be of no concern, and if the above whetted your appetite by revealing the ending would be spoiling a very good autobiographical account of Carla Van Raay's life. This book didn't read as I thought it would when I picked it up, I learnt an awful lot about the shadows nun's live in and the difficulties the real world can present to a person who has effectively lived in isolation for the majority of their life, initially through choice, but ultimately through devotion to a religion which is questioned towards the end.
The book I read from had a different cover to that in the main image, it depicts a sobbing girl on her knees wearing a green top.
The book is available in most bookshops at about £6.99, though the copy I read was from a charity shop at 0.50p.
