Grolsch Premium Lager

In all honesty I absolutely love Grolsch, but I had cause to write the following letter tonight and, since writing letters is so much fun, I can only assume that reading them is too. So, please, read on. Please note that my rating is for the beer itself, rather than the packaging, purely because if someone picks this up from a search, it's more likely that that's what they're interested in. Fair's fair.

Grolsch (UK) Ltd
137 High Street
Burton-On-Trent
DE14 1JZ

13/09/07

Dear Sir/ Madam,

Having enjoyed Grolsch lager now for some years, I've come to expect quality. The aroma present over the top of a bottle is one that has few comparisons in the world of bottled lager and is one that I have become accustomed to in my time as a seasoned drinker of quality alcohol-based beverages.

This evening I purchased a box of twenty 300ml bottles from the Asda superstore on Newark Road in Lincoln and, promptly (as promptly as I could), took them home for consumption. Upon arrival at my home, I made my way to my beer fridge, which, admittedly, has a Budweiser logo on the front, but fosters (no pun intended, believe me) other beers just as well.

Lifting the box from a counter may seem like an easy process, but the result was not one that I had anticipated. Bearing in mind the act I was about to undertake - putting the box on the floor with the intention of opening the uppermost end in order to move the bottles from the box to the fridge - I picked the box up in a manner that may be described as bottom: down.

Much to my dismay, upon performing this act, the bottom of the box promptly split, resulting in the depositing of seven (no fewer) bottles upon my utility room floor. Needless to say, they all broke, resulting in a significant amount of beer on my floor. It may be conjectured that the fact that I have a utility room lends itself to the assumption that I might be comfortable in terms of finances. If this assumption is indeed on the cards, I might refer to the terms of my tenancy agreement, which demands that I pay a significant portion of my monthly drawings into the account of a letting agent that has no intention of care in that respect.

Losing just over 29% of a crate of beer is, in anyone's estimation, not the best way to begin an evening at home.

In respect of the facts I have hitherto put on offer, I have enclosed the box that broke. The term reminds me somewhat of the story 'The Boy Who Lived', insofar as the words sound similar. The outcome, however, was very different, as I've already outlined. Fewer beers than I would have liked, in fact, lived.

I would appreciate your thoughts as to how I might prevent a similar occurrence (or, similar occurrences, considering that my historical purchase frequency would seem to indicate multiple future purchases). I would also appreciate appropriate recompense for the bottles already lost, though would expect that this was a point almost not worthy of mention, considering my previously alluded to preference to Grolsch.

I hope that this letter is received in good faith and I await your response in good time.

Many thanks and utmost regards,
Rob Causon

NB: I have posted a copy of this letter on the website Ciao.co.uk. I intend to post your response as a means of reassuring your loyal customers as to your good intentions. Thank you very much for your time.

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Thanks for reading!