HP All Day Breakfast

...I saw a tin of HP All Day Breakfast, and I thought of English breakfasts and thought yummy, this is just the trick for me. Well I was wrong and badly wrong, and it cost of over a pound for my mistake (equivalent in Euros).

On opening the tin, I was amazed that the contents would not come out of the tin. Good sign in some ways. It meant that it was jammed full of goodies or so I thought. On poking the contents with a fork to get them ...
...finger and made me cringe a little. It was a sausage devoid of its skin and really did ressemble a digit. There were two mushrooms, but they were so tiny, I hardly noticed them at first, and there were round ball things, that I thought were sausagement, but turned out not to be. They hid a dark secret which I shall recount later.

I stirred the pan and heated it all up and the smell was quite nice. I thought I could forgive the fingers ... more

I have just had one of the worst experiences of my life and want to share it with you because you are my friends, and this is a little bit of a warning really rather than anything else.

As you are probably aware, we have a shop locally that sells English food, which to us is a luxury. There are always things that we miss from the U.K. and this mornings trip took us to the shop for something savoury because I miss savoury snacks.

I saw a tin of HP All Day Breakfast, and I thought of English breakfasts and thought yummy, this is just the trick for me. Well I was wrong and badly wrong, and it cost of over a pound for my mistake (equivalent in Euros).

On opening the tin, I was amazed that the contents would not come out of the tin. Good sign in some ways. It meant that it was jammed full of goodies or so I thought. On poking the contents with a fork to get them in the pan, I suddenly noticed something that ressembled a finger and made me cringe a little. It was a sausage devoid of its skin and really did ressemble a digit. There were two mushrooms, but they were so tiny, I hardly noticed them at first, and there were round ball things, that I thought were sausagement, but turned out not to be. They hid a dark secret which I shall recount later.

I stirred the pan and heated it all up and the smell was quite nice. I thought I could forgive the fingers if the taste was anything to go by. I served it up on toast, and looked forward to it. It only took a short while to heat and was hungry by the time I served it up.

First the baked beans !! Well these are kind of mushy and disappointing and stick together with a substance that resembles ketchup, although its sticky consistency and sickly taste really put me off what had been something I looked forward to. They were kind of congealed and I could have been lead to believe that the fingers, which lay threateningly on the side of the toast, had bled.

What else do you get with an English breakfast ? Well one would expect egg. Here, the egg had cleverly been hidden in what looked like meatballs. They had a crumbly exterior which made me think of mashed up bread and which had been drowned by the congealed blood substance that passed itself off as tomato ketchup. One bite into the texture made me think of the kind of food I used to give to the dog, with a slight hint of egg. The meatballs actually tasted bland, and stodgy.

Back to the fingers and the bacon. Yes, believe it or not there was one piece of bacon, which I measured to be a quarter of an inch long and about 2cm wide. Generous huh !! Tasted like bacon which was a good thing compared with the rest of the conglomeration.
I cut into one of the sausages, and it was disgusting. It tasted of nothing and the only way that I could be tempted to eat it was by disguising it in sauce which by this time left a taste in my mouth which I needed to wash away with a hasty cup of coffee.

Had I found anything resembling a finger nail, I would have been tempted to complain about the whole product and would have sent it to the local Public Health Laboratory for examination. The whole experience left me feeling cheated.

In conclusion, I think that the next time I try an All Day Breakfast, I shall get a tin of Heinz Beanz, two local sausages, an egg, and two good rashers of bacon, and a couple of large mushrooms and shall take my time and enjoy, because really what this product does is take questionable sausages, miserable mushrooms, egg powder and beans and kind of mash the whole lot together and hope for the best. Well, when I want a breakfast, I don’t want it already chewed and digested which is what this product made me feel I had bought. The comment “Have you eaten that or are you about to ?” comes to mind, as my stomach tells me that wind is due, and it isn’t the weather that is doing it.

Thankyou for reading.

Rachel

P.S. If you read my morals op then chicken licked by the dog would be a treat after this breakfast !
 

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