Hollandia is made by the Bavaria Brewery which, despite the name, isn't located high in the Alpine region of Germany, but much closer to sea-level in the North Brabant region of The Netherlands. It's been around since 1719 apparently, so the brewers should have perfected the product by now...donchathink? Want to know more about the brewery? Check their website.
But all that matters not a jot when the mercury's rising and your hovering around with a crowd of people in a friend's garden, enjoying the witty repartee and doing your utmost to diminish the beer stock. In situations like that you don't want to be indulging in the delights of a dark Trappist Ale or a 12% Kasteel...well, you might not, but I know I certainly would. No. What's called for is cheap lager and lots of it. A beer that lubricates the vocal chords and stimulates conversation.
Speaking of conversation...
There were a couple of Italian/Scots there, chatting away furiously. My mate's snooty aunt overheard some of their conversation, "Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come thegether. I come again. Two asses, they come thegether again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a mair."
"That's disgusting!" roared Aunty M, "around here, It's considered impolite to discuss one's sex-life in public!"
"Jings-a, calm-a-doon missus," said one, "I just-a tell ma mate how tae spell-a Mississippi."
Back to the beer...
Hollandia pours to a pale, watery, straw-yellow colour under a billowing head of white foam that collapses before you can say 'poof!'. There's very little lace - no more than a wispy ring.
The aroma doesn't exactly leap from the glass and dive up your nostril. What there is reminds me of any/all euro-lagers - grainy husk, some floral tones, and a creeping suspicion of cooked vegetables. At least it's not overpowering.
It's light bodied and moderately carbonated giving it a relatively smooth mouth feel. The taste is quite sweet upfront, with a good malt profile, although this soon fades into the background. It's a little grainy, and there's a definite hint of fruit, but what sort of fruit is indistinguishable - could be apples, could be pears, could even be pomegranates for all I know/care. It turns more and more bitter towards the finish with only the faintest hint of floral hops, and leaves a harsh, dry, and not altogether pleasant aftertaste.
• The Verdict •
At 5% ABV, this isn't the worst beer I've ever had, but then I've had some mingers. It's nothing special, but to be fair it's priced as a nothing special beer. It's cheap - you can probably pick up a 10-pack of stubbies for around a fiver - but it tastes it. Served suitably chilled, it's OK for necking on a hot day, but it's not one to sip and savour, that's for sure. It's not exactly bad, just nothing to get excited about.
Would I drink it again? - Not until I can think up a suitable pun.
