**Stands up and clears throat**

“AHEM…Hi everyone…my name is Claire and I’m a Home And Away addict…!”

There, I’ve admitted it. But am I shame faced and embarrassed??? Am I heck! I would shout it from the rooftops if I were light enough to shimmy up the drainpipe. I don’t actually watch much TV – normally because I’m glued to my PC monitor – but I refuse to miss a single episode of this addictive Aussie soap. It is 100% pure escapism. My dream is travel around Australia but seen as that isn’t going to happen any time soon Home And Away is the next best thing!

So what is it about this Channel 5 show that has taken over half an hour of my life five days of the week? Well read on for detail (Scatz500 style) on the best soap on the box!

Home And Away is set in a fictional town called “Summer Bay”. It’s cheesy – I know- but very accurate because this place NEVER gets any rain. Except when there’s a freak weather storm, normally coinciding with when a character needs killing off! So what makes up Summer Bay???

THE BEACH

Every decent Aussie soap needs a beach (except Neighbours – but then again that’s not decent!) The Summer Bay beach is a gorgeous house-shoe bay. Golden sand, blue waters and of course semi-naked bodies. This is the place all the young Home And Away characters “hang out”. It’s where they sunbathe, surf, and sleep when they’ve rowed with their parents!

THE SURF CLUB

Not surprisingly the Surf Club is next to the beach. This has a gym, pool table and a Burger kiosk. It attracts all of the Summer Bay community and many a good fight has broken out here. It is also search and rescue centre when one of the community decides to go walk about.

THE DINER

Imagine a Little Chef by the beach and you’ve got this place. The interior resembles something out of the Grease movie set. It serves everything from burger and chips to Greek dish of the day. Everybody in Summer Bay eats here EVERY day. Not just one meal either – they eat here for breakfast, for lunch, and then for tea! Honestly you’d think the microwave hadn’t reached Australian shores yet!

THE CARAVAN PARK

This is run by the Sutherland family and it’s where newcomers to the bay stay. It’s like Haven, only without the Yellow Coats. Colleen Smart owns a static mobile home here but apart from this it isn’t a location central to many storylines.

SUMMER BAY HIGH SCHOOL
The home to all of Summer Bay’s youth during the hours of 9am-3pm. Many a good plot takes place within the school – the latest been an arson attack. However I am puzzled as to how such a large High School manages to cope with only two members of teaching staff, two classrooms and a receptionist! And why is it the Head Master (Donald Fisher) teaches nearly every class? My Head Teacher was always far too busy doing Head Master duties to teach!

DROP IN CENTRE

This place was opened following the death of a runaway. It’s an old house that has been turned into a Youth Hostel type place for kids with problems. Considering Summer Bay is such a perfect place, full of perfect people, the Drop In Centre gets lots of rogue teenagers. Doesn’t fit the perfect picture some how does it?

So there we have “Summer Bay”. Considering it is a quiet, sleepy town it has quiet a lot of places with things going off. So what of the characters? There are have been and no doubt will continue to be many a face in Summer Bay. Some take permanent residency for several years; others stay only for an episode or two. Here’s my introduction to some of the dominant characters in Home And Away at the present:

**ALFRED STUART (Alf):

Alf is Home And Away! He’s been in it several years and appears in virtually every episode. He’s a true Australian and is famous for phrases such as “You flamin’ great galah…!!!” and “Well stone the flamin’ crows…!!!” He’s the character everyone else respects. However recently all is not well with Alf. He’s developed a brain tumour, which has caused memory deterioration, and he’s seeing a vision of his dead wife Ailsa. Alf been the stubborn bloke he is refuses to have surgery because he’d rather die than loose Ailsa again…all together now...Aaaawwwwwwwww!

~~THE FISHER HOUSE~~

**DONALD (Flat Head):

Don is another character whom has been in the Bay for as long as I can remember. He is Alf’s best friend and also the High School principle. All his pupils call him “Flat Head” because of his hairstyle – think of a curly ironing bored! Don has high personal morals and expects others to follow his lead. Despite been rather boring and far from handsome he has had several women in his life – the last one suffered a psychological disorder and deserted him (?). He’s a likable sort of bloke and always tries to do best by everyone, especially his young grandson Sebastian.

**SEBASTIAN MILLER (Seb):

Seb came to Summer Bay with his dying mother. His mother had an affair with Donald’s tearaway son Alan and Seb was the result. Alan died (can’t recall why) and knowing her end was near his mother wanted Seb to meet his grandfather Donald. Initially Seb was rebellious, hating Summer Bay and despising Donald. However in true soap style he is now a true angel, loving Donald and offering advice to other young Summer Bay characters.

~~THE FLECTCHER HOUSE~~

**SALLY FLETCHER

Sally has been in Home And Away pretty much from day one. We’ve seen her grow from an annoying 8 year old into a beautiful, mature woman. She’s had her heart broken too many times to count and has had more engagement rings than Joan Collins. Now she’s happy with long-term partner Flynn and they’re having a baby through surrogacy because Sallie is un-able to have children as a result of cancer.

**FLYNN SAUNDERS

Flynn is an ex-doctor whom turned to social work after he lost faith in the medical world. He has a heart of gold and always has a friendly ear for the troubled kids who turn up at the drop in centre. He’s a very popular character as was reflected recently. The original Flynn quit Home And Away but because he was such a strong character the scriptwriters didn’t want to write him out. So they didn’t – they replaced old Flynn with a new Flynn (whom looks nothing like the original). It’s confused me and no-doubt several other loyal fans!

~~THE ROBERTS HOUSE~~

**IRENE ROBERTS

Irene first turned up in Summer Bay as a peroxide blonde alcoholic. Her children had been taken away from her and she was only fit for the skip. The story focused on her determination to quit the “grog” and re-gain the love of her children. Needless to say she succeeded. Since then she’s gone on to become the adoptive mother the Smith family (Will, Hayley & Nick). She has a heart of gold and is working as the High School receptionist. She’s trying to better herself still by attending University part-time.

**NICK SMITH

Turned up in Summer Bay after his mother lost the plot and turned psychotic. His older brother and sister were staying with Irene so naturally he turned to her for help. Nick, about 16, has a mischievous side and is always in trouble for something. His latest escapade was taking “artistic” photos of his girlfriend Jade in sexy underwear. All was well until Jade’s father found out and promptly shoved Nick’s camera where the Summer Bay sun doesn’t shine!

**JESSE MCGREGOR

Jesse was first in Summer Bay several years ago. He was a lovable rogue who was easily led astray. He got involved with a car stealing gang and ended up in prison. Recently he was released and is back in the Bay staying with Irene. He’s trying to be good but often prefers to talk with his fists and not his mouth. He’s madly in love with Leah. But has to be patient because she’s grieving for her dead husband Vinny.

~~THE POLOUS HOUSE~~

**LEAH POLOUS

Leah is Greek and owns half of the diner with Alf. She’s VERY headstrong and likes to dish out advice but is rather reluctant to take it. She can be rather annoying to watch but we’ve seen a different side to her recently after the death of her husband Vinny. She’s currently trying to deny her feelings for Jesse because she feels she should still be in mourning.

**ALEX POLOUS

Alex is Leah’s younger brother. He works at the dinner and fancies himself as a bit of a Romeo. He’s always flirting with the ladies although there is no-one special in his life at the moment

~~THE SUTHERLAND HOUSE~~

**REESE SUTHERLAND

Reese is an ex-Aussie Rules football player but now runs the caravan park. He moved his family to Summer Bay to escape the hectic city life. He’s a tough sort of man and one who doesn’t often let his feelings show. Recently his past came back to haunt him when his childhood sweetheart (Angela Russel) turned up at his door revealing all about an affair they had several years ago and introducing Reese to a son he didn’t know he had. Naturally his wife Shelly was far from impressed and has since left him.

**DANNI SUTHERLAND

The eldest of the three Sutherland daughters at about 19. She’s quite a fiery, independent person but is also the glue that has held the Sutherlands together throught heir recent crisis. She is very beautiful and has raised the blood pressure of several men in the Bay. Now she’s after new man – Jack Hunter. Will she snare him? Of course she will!

**KIRSTY SUTHERLAND

Kirsty is Jade’s twin sister. She’s the devilish one and has been in lots of trouble. She quit school, experimented with ecstasy, ended up in a coma, came round, saw the error of her ways and is now back at school. She also had an affair with Kane, a man who raped her elder sister Danni and more recently fell in love with her half brother (Dillian).

**JADE SUTHERLAND

Kirsty’s twin sister and the angel of the pair. Jade is always trying to do the right thing by everyone and as result she often gets upset and emotional. She’s dating Nick Smith and tries her best to keep him on the right track.

**MAX SUTHERLAND

Max is the son of Reese’s brother. His dad is a gambler and owes more money than the British Government. He is a real rogue and currently on the run from his debtors. Hence Max is staying with his Uncle. Max is about 11 and a true cheeky chappy. He’s an excellent actor and adds a lot of humour to the show.

**COLEEN SMART

Coleen doesn’t actually live in the Sutherland house but she owns a static mobile home in the caravan park. I have no idea how she came to be in Summer Bay, she’s just a character who’s always been there. She’s the Aussie equivalent to Dot Cotton! She’s a nosey, gossip who knows everyone’s business. However she is loveable and deep down means well. Like Max she adds comedy to the show.

~~THE RUSSEL HOUSE~~

**ANGELA RUSSEL (Angie)

Angie Russel is Home And Away’s nastiest ever character. She turned up in the Bay as the new Deputy school principle. Then told everyone her secret – she had an affair with Reese Sutherland and he’s the father to her 17 year old son (Dylan). Angie is pure evil and will stop at nothing to get her own way, even attacking her own son for been disloyal! Previously she had an affair with a pupil and recently she started a fire at the school to destroy evidence of this. She really is pure evil but an absolute pleasure to watch.

**DYLAN RUSSEL

Angie’s son. This poor lad recently discovered Reese is his father and the girl he was falling in love with (Kirsty) is his half-sister. He has a very mature attitude and is concerned his mother is finally loosing the plot and is doing his best to make her seek help.

~~THE PINK PALACE~~
(But it’s not pink and it’s certainly not a palace!!!)

**HAYLEY SMITH

Hayley is Nick’s older sister. She used to live with Irene and Nick but moved out with her boyfriend Noah. They bought this rundown, dilapidated house – painted each wall a unique vibrant colour and named it the “Pink Palace”! Hayley herself is probably THE most beautiful Summer Bay resident. She’s an easy-going art student but at the moment she’s heartbroken after her and Noah split following her kissing Noah’s friend Josh.

**NOAH LAWSON

Noah was introduced to Summer Bay after he saved Hayley from trouble in a club. He had a distressed childhood and his mother was an insane religious preacher. Noah himself is very laid back and cool. He’s a surfer/biker dude with a VERY dodgy haircut. He works at the drop in centre and is training to be a social worker. However his training isn’t helping him deal with his split from girlfriend Hayley and he punched Josh after finding out his supposed friend moved in on his “chick”.

**JOSH WEST

Josh is arguably the most annoying character in Home And Away at the minute. He came to Summer Bay to escape University and rebel against his pushy parents. He’s loaded and is of the belief money buys everything – an attitude that doesn’t sit well with other residents. His selfish attitude is what made his ex-girlfriend Danni dump him and he hasn’t had much luck with women since.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So there you have the main Home And Away characters. One of the reasons I enjoy this soap so much is that the acting is actually very good. The characters are all believable and it really is possible to become submerged into the program. It deals well with teenage issues of dating, sex and drugs and other issues such as death, catastrophe and life in general. Recently the plots have been excellent and gripping. For instance the Sutherland discovery that Reese had an affair on the night his wife miscarried their baby son. It tore the family apart and dealt well with the issue of family separation. The current story of Alf’s brain tumour has also been a joy to watch and raised awareness of this illness. One of the soaps funniest moments came from this:

Alf was in hospital when the “new” changed character of Flynn arrived to visit him. Alf said “Who are you?” The new Flynn replied “Alf it’s me – your friend Flynn”. To which Alf responded “Oh! Didn’t recognise you for a minute – you seem to have changed!” – Yes Alf we all thought he’d become a new person too!

So when can you watch this TV delight? Well it’s on Channel 5 every weekday at 6pm and repeated the following day at 12.30pm. And if you miss those two episodes the full weeks episodes are shown on a Saturday afternoon. It is supposed to run for 25 minutes but after the 5 minutes of finance and credit adverts (Grrr…my pet hate!) it’s only on for 20 minutes. If you’ve never watched it – you should – you’ll be hooked. And if you’ve watched it and didn’t like it in the past?...Try watching it again. The new characters and juicy story lines have made it must see television!

But then again I might be biased…I am, after all, a Home And Away addict ;)