Author's product rating: 
| Advantages: |
cleaner home |
| Disadvantages: |
filthy houses |
| Recommend to potential buyers: |
yes |
I’m not usually a channel four watcher, but one thing I try to tune into each week is on Wednesdays at around 8-8.30pm. The programme I am talking about is of course ‘How clean is your house”.
Two women put their lives in their hands and enter into some of the most appalling homes in the UK. Some of the places haven’t been touched for many years, so you can imagine the dirt and grime. But add to this the person’s laziness and using the floor as a litter bin and you can really begin to imagine some of the homes they are left facing.
Having done some cleaning in my life, I can vouch that it’s not a nice job, BUT it has to be done, and Kim Woodburn and Aggie McKenzie tell the owners in no uncertain terms exactly what is sharing their homes.
They recently had a disgusting find when they were recently called to a woman’s home. In this home they found birds (of a feathered variety) flying at large. Hence, the birds had messed everywhere – furniture, walls, floors, curtains, you name it – it had bird dung on it.
Along with the usual six inch thick dust, dirty toilet, and unthinkable bath, they set about their task of making the home clean. And they always succeed.
Another house found a single male living by himself, but where was the floor – it was totally over taken by rubbish. The bedroom has a bed in -somewhere! And did I mention the obligatory six inch thick dust?
Last time I watched the
programme it involved a young teacher, whose flat was in a real state. As Kim so politely tells us about the toilet “That’s pee pee dear, no doubt about it. Men can never aim correctly”
So who are these brave – or should that be foolish women who enter into the hell holes of Great Britain….
Aggie also known as the dirt detective is a magazine editor, and also worked for MI6. Aggie does some cleaning but is more intent on finding the creepy creatures that share each home with the person (sometimes families). And amazingly they never fail to let on what the person has been sharing their space with.
Aggie tries to shock people into ‘turning clean’ by telling them about the moth larvae that are currently in the cupboard munching on the food. Or what about the human excrement remains they have found in the bath? Or even the slugs that are trailing their way through the carpet? Most of the problems she finds can pose a serious risk to people’s health, but amazingly most people though trying to act shocked are obviously not bothered by what she is saying.
Kim Woodburn on the other hand is more of a hands on woman, and likes nothing better than pulling on her rubber gloves and sticking her hands down the toilet, neither Kim nor Aggie believe in having a toilet brush and only ever use their rubber gloved hands!
Kim is by far the more ‘out spoken’ of the two, and is fairly tall, blonde, and very direct with her words – she calls a spade and spade, though she tries to ‘butter’ her words up, she sometimes doesn’t succeed.
So what actually happens in a programme?
People actually volunteer to basically have their filthy homes shown on TV, much to their embarrassment I should imagine. In return they get a nice almost spotlessly clean house. Once the house has been selected (predetermined before the show), the dream cleaning team zoom their way off to the filthy house of that week.
Arriving they are allowed to inspect the house at close quarters by themselves (and a few thousand people via the TV camera that joins them). Each house never fails to amaze me of the squalor some people can actually live in.
Once the house is inspected by the couple, the owners are invited back to tell them why it has got in such a state.
Finally, the cleaning duo calls in help and has just 24 hours to clean up the house. One house had dead mice lying on the bottom stair, which had been there for months – I kid you not.
The team along with Aggie and Kim clean up the house and show you the mess they have got from it, for example how many bags of rubbish they removed, how many filthy buckets of water came from the carpet before it run clean etc.
Then the owners are invited back into the house and are usually amazed by the results. Kim and Aggie tell them how to keep it clean, and often set out a rota for the household, such as Mondays –vacuum carpets, Tuesday clean bath, etc.
Two weeks after they have left the pair return to the house to check whether it is being kept up to the standard they left it in. Some are some aren’t.
Along the way Kim and Aggie throw their cleaning tips at you, for example distilled vinegar removed lime scale: To clean a dirty microwave put a bowl of water with slices of lemon in and place on full power for 5 minutes, this releases the dirt and makes it smell fresh: Air your bed daily by leaving the covers off while you shower and have breakfast with a window ajar, this helps reduce the number of dust mites. And they offer up plenty more tips to help make your house sparkle.
So what’s my opinion of the show? I am almost addicted; it is very fascinating show with two very interesting presenters. Some of the dwellings they go to do make your gut wrench, and they tend show everything. It truly amazes me how people can live in such filth, but they do and because they do we now have a cleaning show.
I think presenter wise you’d be hard pushed to find two better ones, house wise I simply can’t believe anyone could live filthier, and show wise a hit!
A book is currently available from the TV series, which I confess I own; The book details tips, and even tells you the uninvited guest that might be sharing your house. It suggests a rota to ensure your house remains spic and span, and even has a test to see how clean you are?
Highly recommended – it keeps me amused for half an hour, and the book is a very interesting read.
Channel 4 either 8 or 8.30pm on Wednesdays.
Thanks for reading – Dave
If you’d like to nominate anyone for the series why not visit: http://www.channel4.com/life/microsites/H/how_clean_is_your_house/index.html for further details.
Book ISBN: 0718146999 price £9.99 (currently on offer at Water stones at £6+)
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