How to be a Little Sod - Simon Brett
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How to be a Little Sod - Simon Brett > Reviews > No Little Angels here

Fiction - Humour - ISBN: 0575041609, 0575059168, 0575062142, 0575601574, 0752836935

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A diary of babyhood which confirms what every parent suspects - that within every little bundle of joy lies a manipulative, relentless tyrant. It demonstrates that every stage of...
more...babyhood is merely a means of creating demoralization sufficient to achieve total subjugation of the adult world.





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No Little Angels here
A review by JoJammy on How to be a Little Sod - Simon Brett
March 2nd, 2002


Author's product rating:   How to be a Little Sod - Simon Brett - rated by JoJammy


Advantages: funny and easy to read
Disadvantages: will reveal what your baby is really up to !

Recommend to potential buyers: yes 

Full review
Go back in time and imagine if you will the time of your birth. What? You can’t remember that long ago? The biggest year of your life and it isn’t even a distant memory! Well … lets see if this jogs your memory? …….

“Well, here I am. After the nine months I’ve just been through, this had better be good!

I’d decided while all the pushing was going on to be very brave about the whole business. But when I actually emerged, all I got for my bravery was panic-stricken faces, shouts of “The baby’s not crying!” and the immediate indignity of being up-ended and slapped on the bum. So I gave them what they wanted and let out an enormous bellow. That went down much better.

The bum-slapping was hardly over before it was replaced by another indignity: an obsessive interest in my private parts…………….”

Ring any bells?!!

The above entrance to this world was taken from Simon Bretts book, How to be a Little Sod.

¤ • ¤ The Book ¤ • ¤

This hilarious book …(yes folks it is a comedy!) is actually a diary of the first twelve months of a baby’s life…. Written by the baby itself! (Well .. as his keyboard skills aren’t that good yet .. actually written by Simon Brett!) This book is far from being a book for new parents to turn to for advice … but it will help them keep their sanity and help them get through the first year!!


Parents will be able to identify with the diary entries as this baby ..(the little Sod!) talks about his experiences of every day things such as –

• breastfeeding ……”Then I pretended I was hungry, but lost interest in the nipples as soon as it was offered, and started crying again.” And … “ I made them pay for it, don’t worry. Screamed inconsolably, wouldn’t settle to my feed and when I finally did, sucked so hard that She’s now extremely sore.”

• nappy changing …..”Timing is one of the most important skills in like, and I must say I was really pleased with the way I timed the next bit. A very quick grunts and strain was rewarded by direct hits not only on the Babygro and the bathroom carpet, but also on her new dress.”

• hair loss …..”Head rubbing starting to pay off. She noticed a distinct bald patch when She fed me this morning”

• language development ….”Oh, look how tightly oo’s holding that then! Isn’t oo a clever ickle baby then” (How I am ever going to learn to talk properly when all I hear is that kind of gibberish, God knows.)”

• first foods …. “At the end of my lunchtime feed I was about to have a little zizz, when suddenly I felt this piece of plastic shoved into my mouth. It was a spoon. …. And the annoying thing is that to some extent She’s succeeded. Taking advantage of the surprise factor, she did actually manage to get some of the muck inside me. While the spoon was in my mouth, I did a kind of reverse burp of complaint and inadvertently swallowed the contents. Yuk, it was a dirty trick”

The list goes on and covers the first year very well. The baby’s parents are made out to be really thick … talking in a silly baby language, falling for baby’s tricks ..(like faking teething!) and mistaking baby’s actions for something totally wrong. They are generally given a real hard time by the baby. Hmmmm … that bit rings a bell to me!!


¤ • ¤ Book Breakdown and Style ¤ • ¤


The book is written in a very readable style. Chapters are split into months, and diary entries are headed with the day number. Each entry varies in length, depending on how much baby has to share for the day. There are 128 pages of the book, split into twelve chapters. You won’t need very long at all to read through the book … in the edition I have the writing is pretty large, full of illustrations … and generally not that much writing on a page. Because of the way the book is split up into days, it is very easy to pick up and put down … without having to re-read what has just happened.

The humour is easy to understand and very clever, with Simon Brett climbing into the mind of a new baby extremely well. You could be forgiven for forgetting that a newborn didn’t actually start a diary!!

¤ • ¤ Simon Brett ¤ • ¤

Simon Brett used to work for television and radio as an entertainment producer. He took up writing full time in 1979. As well as being the author of over 50 books, he has also had tv and radio success. You may remember that How to be a Little Sod was made into a TV series a while back… (this was pretty good .. but in my opinion not a touch on the book) After Henry was another one of Simon’s creations … remember that?

¤ • ¤ Tony Ross ¤ • ¤

How to be a Little Sod is illustrated brilliantly by Tony Ross. His black and white sketch type cartoons manage to give real feelings and emotions. He has produced over fifty picture books. The well known Towser .. a scruffy dog is one of Tony Ross’s creations. He has his work sold all over the world. His illustrations definitely add another dimension to How to be a little Sod … working together well with Simons text. Flicking through the book quickly I think there is at least one illustration on each double page.

¤ • ¤ Other Information ¤ • ¤

~~ First published by Victor Gollancz Ltd in 1992

~~The softback edition will set you back £3.99 … most definitely worth it for the laughs it will give you.

~~ Follow on books in the series .. The Next Step and Not another Little Sod are also available for £3.99 … (having not read these yet I can’t comment on these books .. but they are definitely ones I will be ordering soon.

~~ ISBN …0 575 04160 9

¤ • ¤ My Final Words ¤ • ¤

I have read this book three times … the first two times were before I had had my own children. I had had experience with babies though because I used to be a nanny. I giggled my way through recognising a lot of what the book was saying. It wasn’t until I re-read it when I had my first baby though that I realised how clever the book was! Whilst I was absolutely shattered through lack of sleep I still managed to pick this book up and read what was supposedly going through Jamie’s head!! So .. that was what he was thinking when I was looking down at him making the typical baby noises!! I really did find myself in stitches several times. I also found myself quoting the book to my husband, who also found it funny. The “little sod” really does resemble most babies at some point in their first year. If you are one of the lucky parents who think that they have had a “little angel” and not a “little sod” then I challenge you to read this book … and then you may find that whilst you thought your baby was being perfectly behaved .. baby really had you wrapped round its little finger and was just being really clever!! If though, like me, you found yourself with a “little sod” … read the book, see what your baby is really up to, and survive the first year!!

Just one more thing … unless I missed it each time I have read this book … I don’t think that the sex of the baby is ever revealed. However I have always pictured it as a boy. This may be because I have boys, and have looked after baby boys more than girls, or maybe it is because boys are often the sex thought of as mischievous and tricky .. and girls being cute and perfectly behaved?!!! If any of you have read the book and noticed the sex then let me know!! Also it would be good to know whether anyone actually pictured the little sod as a girl?!!

Well … that’s it … but let me leave you with a couple of days in the mind of a “little sod!!”


3RD MONTH

Day 25
Practising my squint. Since they seem determined to worry about it, the least I can do is to give them something visible to worry about.

Day 26
Doing rather well with the squint-work. Find if I really concentrate and start fixedly at the end of my nose with both eyes, the results are excellent (i.e. She gets very worried).
She was so worried that She asked the next-door neighbour in to get her views on the squint. I scuppered that little plan by pretending to be asleep until the neighbour left.

Day 27
I’m getting really good at this. Actually got Her standing over my cot with that book in Her hands. It’s always a sign that She’s seriously worried when she gets out the workshop manual and starts comparing me with illustrations.
In fact, when a double glazing salesman called She even asked him in to give his opinion as to whether I had a squint or not. He said he wasn’t sure. She only got rid of him after two hours by ordering a patio door!!

Day 28
They say that practice makes perfect so spent all the time I was awake with my eyes focused on the end of my nose.
Today it was a Jehovah’s Witness She asked in to check out my squint. He said he wasn’t sure either, then stayed for three hours and only agreed to leave in exchange for Her soul – and mine too.


Go on … get the book and read how long baby practices the squint for and how he manages to reveal that he has perfectly straight eyes really, only once Mum has worried herself sick and demanded to see the Dr about it!!


 
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