'Allo! I'm not contributing to Ciao for the time being but if you are bored / desperate / weird enou...
'Allo! I'm not contributing to Ciao for the time being but if you are bored / desperate / weird enough to wish to continue to read my ramblings, you can find me on Dooyoo under the user name plipplop. See you around! :P
Member since:15.07.2000
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Having just completed another run of the show, I thought it was about time to put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard) and give my views on this latest makeover programme.
Better Homes (I’ll not keep mentioning it’s Carol Vorderman’s) is a bit like Changing Rooms on speed. Each week two families are visited by the Better Homes makeover teams and have a nominated room (or rooms) completely transformed. Where the show differs from Changing Rooms is that these transformations run a bit deeper than slapping some paint over old wallpaper and knitting a new rug – in Better Homes, the makeover teams really go to town and will carry out structural work, redecoration, refitting and refurbishment. Between the two shows, Better Homes is by far the superior programme, simply because everything is done on such a grand scale – but that doesn’t mean to say that I like this programme. Here’s my run-down of why Better Homes should be thrown in the skip with all the other rubbish:
1. Carol Vorderman
Although she’s not top of my “Most Hated Television Presenters” league table, she is climbing the chart week on week.
For a start, she gets everywhere – whenever you turn the telly on she’s there (ITV obviously squeezing every last drop out of her contract). Secondly, she gets unbelievably excited over the most unbelievably unexciting things – like a cushion or a new door. Carol – you need to get out more love!
But the main reason that Ms Vorderman is so damned irritating is the way that she squeezes herself into a selection of body hugging clothes each week – and then proceeds to run in and out the houses as though she sees herself as the middle-aged answer to Anneka Rice. Tight clothes and that “classic pear-shaped figure” don’t mix – if ever there were a woman in need of a makeover it’s our Carol. (And has anyone ever told her that a bird has nested in her hair?)
2. Fashion Victims
Whilst the designers on the show manage to create a broad selection of different rooms, the same (or similar) features crop up week in and week out. I would suggest that Better Homes has a special offer on conservatories – someone gets one every week. Kitchen accessories are always very predictable too – wire fruit baskets with lemons in are not original any more guys – and I can’t stand the way that every makeover ultimately ends up looking like a B&Q show room. This, of course, is where the commercially aware sponsors are keen to inject some cash – by littering the houses with the same things they are subconsciously convincing the viewer that they should get them too. So even if they don’t go out and spend Ģ5000 on a new kitchen they will at least buy a wire fruit basket and a wicker vegetable rack. It’s all so contrived.
3. Mathematically Flawed
I’m not quite sure why they bother, but the “point” of Better Homes each week is to see which design and makeover team can add the most value to the house. This is measured by taking the value before the makeover and then getting an independent estate agent to value the house after – the biggest increase wins. Fair enough – except of course it’s not. You may add Ģ5000 to the value of the house – but what about the fact you had to spend Ģ15000 to get it?
It’s also worth remembering that 75% of the makeover adds nothing to the value of the property – because the owners will take it with them when they move!! Value can only be added by adding rooms or living space – decorating a bedroom or living room or buying new furniture actually adds no value at all. It might make it easier to sell – but that’s a different thing altogether. I don’t believe half the crap the estate agent comes out with – I recall one week when a little girl’s bedroom was turned into a “pink theme room” and he said that the value had increased by Ģ2,500 – bollocks.
4. Deserving contestants
There is no clear process for deciding who gets a makeover – it is essentially the luck of the draw. Obviously, the researchers will choose those houses that offer good potential to showcase the designers’ work and the sponsors’ products. This is totally wrong – it would be much more enjoyable if the makeovers were given to people who were nominated by others for their worthiness. A couple of times I have seen houses made over for people who have dedicated their lives to fostering, or who have very sick children – both very worthy causes. Just because somebody has run out of cash, or has a family that has outgrown their income does not mean that they are worthy – let’s face it the country is already over run with people who have too many children and not enough money. Given the fact that the contestants pay nothing towards the cost of the refit, Better Homes should be more responsible about who they throw their money at.
5. Cheeseball builders
Why does Better Homes have this obsession with builders who are brothers? Is this some kinky perversion on Carol’s behalf? Whatever the reason, it is grossly irritating. Let’s have some decent (non twin) craftsmen in the show who actually appear to be skilled, and who can actually offer some advice to the viewers (unlike the current batch whose greatest tip contained advice on how to filter paint through a pair of tights). This is one of the key areas where Better Homes falls down – each week is run at such a pace, and in such little detail that there is nothing constructive on offer. Even if you were interested in how to try some things yourself there is no advice given – Carol runs back and forth like a pre-pubescent schoolgirl, clapping and giggling - you never really see how anything was done. One makeover a week would make things easier – there would be time to show a bit more detail.
As you might have guessed, Better Homes doesn’t rate as one of my favourite programmes – which is actually a shame because given the budget I’m sure there is potential here. That aside, the one thing that is guaranteed to drive me insane is the drivelous incidental music that comes on as they guide you round the transformed rooms – they should use that in the latest Heineken adverts!!
How helpful would this review be to a person making a buying decision? Rating guidelines
Great op! It seems strange to me that most of the people they re-do a room for live in mansions!!!!! (lol) :oD
Bigbaz 21.03.2002 23:33
I think that someone did tell her about the nest..Baz
orbitcutback 10.10.2001 09:53
She's always up for a bit of maths - do you think that if the public takes a vote for her to calculate pi to 5,000,000,000 decimal places we might not see her for a while?
Advantages: Lots of home improvement ideas although you'd have to modify them to suit your budget.Entertaining show. Disadvantages: The crew can be very annoying at times.
Aug 18th, 2001
very helpful by (97%):
helpful by (3%):
