... If I ever manage to find a boat or raft and spring a leak well I’d just plug it up with a Tampax! They also make excellent ear plugs so I would get a good night’s sleep even with the far away roar of Tigers. They can be unravelled and used to remove one’s make up. As a first aid measure ... Read review
Advantages: Some surprising choices Disadvantages: I wouldn't last long
...I deserve a little treat if I’m going to be stuck on here in-bloody-definitely.
So onto my little necessities then:
First out of the Gucci…..ooooh I love saying that……..Gucci, goochy, guuchi suitcase is a packet of Durex Select. Well, who knows Robinson Crusoe may turn up at any second and I like to be prepared. These ribbed lubricated condoms come in a variety of colours so if I get really bored I can pretend I’m having ... ...use one as a hat if the sun got too hot and because they come in lots of colours I could co-ordinate them with my clothes or lack of them….at least they wouldn’t clash too much. Also if I got tired of playing balloons I could pop an SOS message in one and float it out to sea. Failing all else if I got seriously hungry I could always eat them as they come in Strawberry, Banana, Ice Mint and Tangerine flavours.
The droplets of water sparkle like diamonds on my skin as I emerge from the warm balmy sea of the Indian Ocean. I wade through the turquoise waters as gracefully as a mermaid with my long dark hair fanned out around my shoulders, my white bikini has become slightly transparent and clings suggestively to my womanly curves and I glance down briefly to check that my dagger is still strapped to my slim yet toned thigh. Alright the last bit about the dagger is a lie but what the Hell – this is MY Island after all!
So here I am stranded on my very own desert island and on first glance it looks an exceptionally beautiful place too. High above me Palm trees sway their branches like Hula dancers in the light breeze and as far as my eye can see there is dune after dune of deep golden sand. In the distance hills and craggy outcrops rise majestically from the hot steamy jungle. In front of me the ocean caresses the shore gently giving the occasional hiss as a large wave crashes into a smaller one creating a white lacy border of foam on the beach. I stoop and pick up a large Conch shell that is laying at my feet, with a strong feeling of Déjà vu I spin round expecting to see James Bond but alas I am alone………
After a brief initial exploration of my Island I find a cool stream swiftly hurrying through the smooth rocks in the hills so I am relieved to know that I don’t have to find a way to filter salt water.
I decide to unpack my list of essentials from the Gucci suitcase that drifted onto the shore not long after I did. Gucci? I hear you say. Well I should bloody well think I deserve a little treat if I’m going to be stuck on here in-bloody-definitely.
So onto my little necessities then:
First out of the Gucci…..ooooh I love saying that……..Gucci, goochy, guuchi suitcase is a packet of Durex Select. Well, who knows Robinson Crusoe may turn up at any second and I like to be prepared. These ribbed lubricated condoms come in a variety of colours so if I get really bored I can pretend I’m having a party for one and use them as balloons to decorate my palm trees. They would also be useful for carrying drinking water from the stream in the hills back to the campsite; or should I encounter an angry Pygmy I could carry him back to camp in it. I could use one as a hat if the sun got too hot and because they come in lots of colours I could co-ordinate them with my clothes or lack of them….at least they wouldn’t clash too much. Also if I got tired of playing balloons I could pop an SOS message in one and float it out to sea. Failing all else if I got seriously hungry I could always eat them as they come in Strawberry, Banana, Ice Mint and Tangerine flavours.
Next out of the Gucci suitcase would be a packet of Tampax Super. These are seriously good for plugging up all sorts of holes you know. If I ever manage to find a boat or raft and spring a leak well I’d just plug it up with a Tampax! They also make excellent ear plugs so I would get a good night’s sleep even with the far away roar of Tigers. They can be unravelled and used to remove one’s make up. As a first aid measure they make pretty good swabs when dipped into salt water and dabbed on Mosquito bites and nettle stings too. Finally as a last resort they could also be unravelled and used as toilet paper…….if I could just find an Aloe Vera plant I could make my own version of Andrex Aloe Vera toilet tissue – ingenious or what eh? I delve deep into my GUCCI (did I tell you I just love saying that word?) suitcase again and produce a lipstick in Scarlet of course. Now this little baby will definitely be useful if Rob Crusoe or James Bond appear and fancy a bit of *up close and personal*…a girl has to look her best you know…….just ask Rhett. I could also use it for drawing arrows on palm trees to lead the way back into camp should I go for a romp (sorry walk) in the jungle and get lost. I could amuse myself by playing Noughts and Crosses with it on palm leaves and just in case Mr Crusoe/Bond and I don’t hit it off I could also use it to write my SOS message to send in my blown up Durex.
Now hang on I am just having a fumble about in my GUCCI suitcase again…aha… I pull out a rather large golfing umbrella (scarlet red of course) with a dangerous looking spike on the end. Now this little darling will do an excellent job of keeping the sun off my milky white skin, it will also be invaluable for cover in a tropical storm and will make a solid wind break too. It has the additional use of being able to spear fish on that spike not to mention snakes, spiders and monkeys. It would be a good implement to use for smashing coconut shells and would be excellent at stabbing the odd stray Pygmy that may be lurking in the bushes.
Hmmm that’s odd this suitcase still feels mighty heavy…….I give a mighty tug at the last item in my suitcase and out jumps… Crocodile Dundee.
Come on guys did you really think I would put myself single handedly through the sweat and toil of setting up my own camp? Ha I am too clever….and far too lazy to do that besides I am just too girly and would be shrieking and fainting at all the spiders, crabs, frogs, sharks and monkeys around; he on the other hand would be perfect for fending them off. Anyway its taken ages for my nails to get this long so he would be ideal for all the manual tasks likes log collecting, hut building, cooking the odd python and wrestling with a croc or two…. .
And in the absence of Rob Crusoe/James Bond appearing I would hate my lipstick and Durex to go to waste……. I mean have you SEEN the size of Dundee’s machete?
Scarlet_Ribbons 22.09.2004 (22.09.2004)
Ciao members have rated this review on average:
very helpful
Review of If you were stranded on a desert island, what 5 items would you take?
Advantages: Nigerian Monks, Cannibals with a soft spot for linedancing, Jimmy Cliff Disadvantages: Creepy albino kids
...the vouchers. I thought “why, if Brother Morris is kind enough to do this, I may as well fly over to Nigeria personally to fix this myself!” That’s the kind of nice guy I am, see. So I bought the plane tickets without telling Brother Morris, as a kind of surprise, and set off on my mission to get this millionaire his money! But I’m not the richest man. I’m but a poor student, and I can’t afford first class tickets. Or business. Or economy. Heck, ... ...into a bag of luggage if I choose to, I almost got into the second round of ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ with that trick.) I called up and asked for the cheapest tickets I could find, and found myself sitting in a rather comfy old chair strapped to the wing. It was an experience, I can tell you that, although I found the service was rather slow. It was a long flight, but when you’re strapped to the wing it’s all rather exciting. It was all going well, ...
Seresecros 11.06.2007
· Read full review
Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of If you were stranded on a desert island, what 5 items would you take?
Advantages: Great place to relax Disadvantages: If relaxation were allowed
...I admitted, glancing around as if expecting the absent article to appear apologetically out from under the tropical foliage, "it doesn't seem to be here."
"No, it doesn't, does it?" she said, with something between a snort and a sigh. "And it was one of the things that you were supposed to bring. We drew up a list, remember?" I couldn't remember whether or not I could remember, so presumably I'd forgotten, but somehow this didn't seem a tactful ... ...passed, as it tends to if left unattended. The whistle blew for half-time and her voice impinged once more. "So," she said. "I'll leave those things to you."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I did wonder at the time whether to tell her that I hadn't heard, but it wouldn't have done any good. She would only have told me again. What's more, her telling me might have stretched into the second half and the pouring of the next beer, both of them activities that required close ...
torr 20.05.2004 (09.10.2008)
· Read full review
Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of If you were stranded on a desert island, what 5 items would you take?
Advantages: You've got rid of me for a few weeks Disadvantages: I'll be back!
...lounge about by a pool if it was cloudy... Bah, this introduction sucks.
OK, so you're huddled for warmth underneath a parasol on a large luxury P&O-owned ferry next to a pool which is covered to prevent the wind from blowing the water out of the pool and making the deck all slippery and chlorinated. Then as the rain is pounding down...
What? OK, so you wouldn't be under a parasol if it's storming. That'd be silly. Let's start from scratch.
So ... ...items I'd take with me if I found myself stuck on a desert island. It's a very common occurrence, as I'm sure you're now aware. I mean, you've seen that Tom Hanks film I'm sure, not to mention those reality TV shows.
Without further rambling, and with no particular order, here goes.
5: A large net on a strong sturdy pole
See, I can't fish. I really can't. I can barely catch minnows! But obviously on a desert island I need food. Therefore, I've ...
reddragonflame87 24.12.2007
· Read full review
Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of If you were stranded on a desert island, what 5 items would you take?
Advantages: I'm planning to be stranded, so l WILL be prepared! Disadvantages: You cannot plan for every eventuality, and you can only have 5 items.
...hope to have with you if you became stranded through some quirk of circumstance? People don't choose to be stranded, do they? And if it was NOT by choice, what hope would ANY of us have, to actually HAPPEN to have had stranded with us, the 5 items we would CHOOSE? All would also prefer an island with some vegetation and pure water supply rather than an arid desert as well, I expect. Do desert islands have caves?
Those caveats aside, let us consider ... ...down). I could lie down if necessary, and could put anything I needed to in the drawer once on the island.
Fifth item:
My final item would be a special camping cooker/utensil set which folds up into itself a bit like a Russian doll set. Knife, fork and toothbrush clipped into one side of the inner section, which doubles as a lid, while the other, deeper side is like a pan. The next size up gives a plate/frypan and pot for boiling water. The cooker ...
jesi 29.10.2007
· Read full review
Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of If you were stranded on a desert island, what 5 items would you take?
Advantages: You actually get to PREPARE Disadvantages: Just think about the subject people!
...food. And I swear, if I went berry picking I'd just pick a deadly one in the first ten minutes. SO, I think I'd have to take food! Now, just how big can these suitcases be? The thing is, I am not sure how long I am going to be stranded for, and I need to know how much food is appropriate A girl must ALWAYS be prepared you know! Its in our list of requirements for daily function. My next priority, which now that I think should probably be my first, ... ...don't exactly know why, but if you look all over the hiking guides and boating guides and all that, well, they always take rope. So, I am sure this is incredibly important!
9. Air Conditioner (battery operated of course, there will be no electricity you dafties!) I hear these island places tend to be quite hot! So, I better have that cool air machine with me.
10. COME ON PPL, this one is obvious! BATTERIES! All sorts and all sizes and one for the ...
mrsxopher 05.09.2004
· Read full review
Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of If you were stranded on a desert island, what 5 items would you take?
Similar products and search queries by other users »
If desert, If you desert, If were desert, If stranded desert, If on desert, If a desert, If you were desert, If you stranded desert, If you on desert, If you a desert, If were stranded desert, If were on desert, If were a desert, If stranded on desert, If stranded a desert
