Well, if you've just been taking a quick look through the new reviews section, you're probably wondering what on Earth this is.
Implanon is a contraceptive in the form of a small implant which is inserted under the skin of your upper arm, on the side closest to your body. It contains the hormone progestogen (which is a synthetic form of the natural female hormone progesterone) which is released into your body at a steady rate for three years. This means that for the next three years, you don't have to sod about with pills, condoms, diaphragms or injections. Have I just lost the male members of our reading society?
As far as I know, nobody has ever gotten pregnant while using this form of contraceptive and doctors seem to agree it is the most reliable, bar celibacy which I'm told is 100% effective - although I've never tried it. *smirk*.
The implant won't be suitable for everyone though,and I'll list the reasons at the end, if anyone's mad enough to still be reading this by then!

GETTING THE IMPLANT
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I had to have a consultation with the doctor at the local clinic, where they assessed my suitability for it. This involved asking whether I had planned to have a child in the next three years, as they don't like fitting implants as short-term contraceptives. The intention is that it will stay in for three years, although it can easily be removed earlier than that if it was necessary - my own view is that if you only wanted it for a year or so, it would be a bit of a waste, and we all know the NHS hates that................don't we?!
Anyway, getting back on topic, I also had to fill in a medical history questionnaire, and discussthe choice with the doctor so he could be sure that there wasn't another form of contraception which would suit my lifestyle better. He told me what to expect when I had the implant fitted, and arranged the fitting appointment with me. They took a urine sample for a pregnancy test at this time too, as it's important that you're not pregnant when the implant is put in as it could damage the foetus. In a similar vein, the implant isn't recommended if you are breastfeeding. Now, this one is a bit of a choice. I was breastfeeding and one of the things I specifically asked the doctor was about this aspect. He said that the implant contains the same hormone that is in the mini-pill - the only hormone-based contraceptive prescribed for breastfeeding mums. What it boils down to is that the implant hasn't been tested in breastfeeding, and the side effects on babies haven't been tested. My doctors' candid opinion was that although very small amounts could be excreted in my milk, it wouldn't be much, and as the effect of the mini-pill in breastfeeding had been proved safe, it was extremely unlikely that my son would have any problems. I breastfed him for 15 months, 11 of which I had the implant in for, and he's perfectly normal (well, he's still awake at 11:40pm, I assume that's normal for a three-year-old......). My doc left it up to me, yours could refuse to put the implant in. All you can do is ask.

The actual insertion took about ten minutes in total. First, I was told to lie on my back on the table, and the doctor injected local anaesthetic into my arm, and waited a minute to let it work. Then he took out a rather scary-looking contraption which was a hollow needle with the implant inside. Now, bear in mind that the implant itself is about the same shape and size as a match, although it's very bendy and white, so the needle obviously has to be a bit bigger. Now you know why I called it scary! At this point I was encouraged to look away as the doctor pushed the needle under my skin and then removed it, leaving the implant behind. This bit didn't hurt at all, although I could feel pushing as the needle went in, and pulling as it came out. As with most minor procedures requiring a local anaesthetic, the actual anaesthetic hurt more - it's a sharp scratch as the little needle goes in, then stinging as the anaesthetic liquid is pushed through. After this was done, they put a plaster over the needle-mark because it was bleeding a bit, and then a fairly tight bandage to help keep the bruising down. This only had to stay on for 24 hours though. The area was a bit sore for a few days, but nothing major.
You can't feel the implant once it's in unless you run your fingers over it, nor can you see it unless you push on one end of it to make the other end stick out - I suppose it could be an interesting dinner-party trick! The main benefit was that I didn't get pregnant - obvious to some, but as the pill hadn't worked for me twice, I was over the moon!

REMOVING THE IMPLANT
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OK, I realise that a few of you may have thought to yourselves "why doesn't the implant move around in your body once it's in?". Quite simply, your body recognises it as something which shouldn't naturally be there, and builds up a layer of tissue around it once it's in your arm. This doesn't stop it from working, but it does stop it from moving around - and also makes removing it more difficult than putting it in in the first place.
When I went to have the implant removed, the doctor had me lie on the table as before, but this time, after the local anaesthetic had taken effect, he brought out an even scarier-looking implement - a scalpel. What they do is make a small incision at one end of the implant, and use surgical tweezers to pull it out. Sounds fairly simple, doesn't it? Actually, due to the layer of tissue your body builds up around the implant, it doesn't just pull out easily, and the doctor had to go and fetch a smaller scalpel to reach up inside his incision and cut away some of the built-up tissue. All I could feel initially was a tugging sensation as the doctor got his daily workout trying to persuade the offending item that it DID want to come out. However, it took quite a while, and the local anaesthetic started to wear off, so in total I had four jabs of it. The implant came out in the end, and the incision was smaller than I had expected - just under a centimetre. As it was bleeding quite a lot, my doctor used glue to stick the edges together, other docs may use a stitch. Then a bandage was put on to minimise bruising, although this time it didn't seem to stop my arm coming up in a great big bruise, which was painful for about a week. I have a small scar there now, but since it's on the inside of my arm you don't notice it much.

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR IMPLANON
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Women who have "hormone dependant" cancers
Anyone with thrombosis
Anyone with severe liver disease
Anyone who is having problems with their periods, ie unusual bleeding, heavy bleeding, and their doctor hasn't found a cause.
Anyone who might be, or thinks they might be, pregnant already - most clinics will do a pregnancy test first just to be sure.
Breastfeeding mothers - although see above, in the "getting the implant" section.
As I said above, anyone who might want to become pregnant in the next three years. Although the implant can be removed earlier, and the hormones are gotten rid of by your body in days, so you are considered fertile from the few days after the implant is removed. It won't cause any problems if you do get pregnant straight after using it.