Is it tougher being a woman?
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Review of "Is it tougher being a woman?"
I read ilusvm’s brilliant review on the subject and felt moved to write my own response. Men have it tougher than women. Its my contention that women do have it tough in some ways – BUT THEY MOSTLY BRING IT ON THEMSELVES!
Lets take dating for a handy example!
The shower, with 76 different bottles and potions, Elderberry and wildflower shampoo, mongolian-mud face-pack, himalayan yak-spit toejam remover, Cherokee Indian eyelash curling wax – with curlicide “R” for added bounce etc etc.
The hair, the clothes, the accessories, the make up, the “does my bum look big in this?” debate, a change of everything at the last moment, then changing back into the first outfit as a last resort, close to tears, and the eventual emergence of the woman as a wonderful flower, full of Archers or some such & ready to party. Women are under a lot of pressure here – but it is a pressure they consent to and perpetuate.(Newsflash girls! -If he asked you out, he already likes you a lot - the basic ingredients (ie. your personality and unadorned appearance) are just fine, and you can turn up wearing a potato sack for all he is likely to care!)
He prepares by wandering into the bathroom and showering for 5 mins. Grabbing the least dirty thing to wear thats handy and phoning a taxi.All this preparation on the woman’s behalf is very strange – since in order to impress a man on a date, a woman has to be:
2. Prepared to let him have sex with her.
Conversely, in order to impress a woman a man must be:
1. Funny. Men have to have a great sense of humour. The woman should give no clue at any point in the initial stage of meeting as to what type of humour appeals to her.2. Stylish. Men must look good – but must not at any time give the appearance of having spent “too long” getting ready. At no point in the initial stages of getting to know a man will the woman tell him what she thinks of his clothes/dress sense.
3. Intelligent. A man must display a thorough knowledge of anything the woman wants to discuss, and posses – but not show off about - a full back catalogue of literature, “deep” movies (thats those ones with subtitles and no explosions), art, music, sport and entertainment.4. Men must attempt to walk the tightrope between being physically interested in the woman they are with – without actually declaring their interest in any but the vaguest terms – ie. “you look great”, etc. Any outward acknowledgement of such desires will cause the evening to finish punctuated by a slap instead of a full stop.
5. Sensitive. Men must at all times be sympathetic and caring. They must not take this too far (see below). In addition the man may not dominate the conversation with talk about himself, and must listen to what the woman says at all times. He must display a love of, and affinity with, children & small animals – but also be…6. …A bit macho. Men must give the appearance of being “able to look after” the one they are with, and deal with any problems that arrive immediately. The man must at no point spill over into being a tough guy type. But he must at ALL times, be …
7. Confident. Confident enough to start a conversation, confident enough to take initial rejection/ridicule as a sign of interest, and confident enough to know at ALL times what is “the right thing to do”. Nb. The woman must at no time give the man a hint as to what is currently “the right thing to do”.8. Psychic. See above.
9. Selfless. The man must – at all times – be prepared to sacrifice his very soul for his date.10. Talented. The man must have something that he is very good at in order to get a date in the first place.
11. Ambitious. Well you don’t want to go out with a no-hoper, do you girls?12. Rich – I’ve saved the best ‘til last. Any/all of the above may be waived immediately if the man in question is rich. In which case he may do whatever he wishes, and still be beating them off with the smelly end of a ten foot bargepole.“But Berg”! I hear you scream, “What about all the physical problems that come with being a woman, the PMS, the menopause, pregnancy, labour, having to sit down every time you need to pee” etc etc etc.
The answer to all of these is simple. You know how men aren’t allowed to show feelings of pain? (See points 6 and 7 above) You see how if a man is hurt, he grits his teeth and struggles on, like John Wayne? If men had to deal with childbirth, we would, and we wouldn’t make all that fuss about it either. We’d be in the pub by teatime. Likewise, if we get a stomach ache, headache, broken leg or whatever we are prepared to put up with it and not cause a fuss.An exception to this is the common cold, which has a different effect on the male to the female. On getting a cold, a woman will immediately take on 6 times the workload of a normal human being and become John Wayne. A man will revert to his 5 year old self and spend the duration of his illness whingeing, acting helpless and eating bowls of chicken soup in bed, as if he is about to die of bubonic plague.
One last thing. Women have to suffer a worse deal at work than men. The glass celing still exists. It sucks. Hopefully they will sort it out at some point, so I can marry a rich sugar mommy and sit on my butt all day watching Sunset Beach and doing my nails. Quite why women ever wanted to go to work in the first place completely flummoxes me.If anything i've said offends you, then too bad! Obviously its all my most heartfelt feelings and if anyone would like me dead as a result of this never fear! i am about to show it to a female colleague and doubtless she will garrott me and leave my rotting corpse in the stationary cupboard.
Product Information : Is it tougher being a woman?
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Listed on Ciao since: 09/03/2005