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OLD...ME??!! How The Hell Did That Happen?

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3 Nov 8th, 2003 

86 Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful

Advantages:
It's always been there .  (the generation gap)

Disadvantages:
It's not as big a gap as you might think !

Recommendable Yes:

the_mad_cabbie

the_mad_cabbie

About me:

Diagnosed with an aggressive cancer of the right lung on my 58th birthday (14th July) So not really ...

Member since:06.12.2000

Reviews:678

Members who trust:869

~ ~ Is there such a thing as the ‘Generation Gap’?
Well, there’s an interesting question if ever there was one.
It’s also a question that I’m not at all sure if there’s a definitive answer, unless it’s both ‘yes and no’.

~ ~ Ever since man first walked the earth children have had differences of opinion with their parents. And young people have always resented what they consider old-fashioned and fuddy-duddy attitudes from their ‘elders and betters’.
When I was a kid in the 50’s and 60’s, the prevailing attitude when it came to raising kids was “children should be seen and not heard”. In other words, we weren’t really encouraged to take part in ‘adult’ conversations.

~ ~ Corporal punishment was also very much the norm, both within families, and within the schools and State Institutions. “Spare the rod, and spoil the child.”
I was a wicked little beggar at school, (well, maybe mischievous would be a better description) and rarely out of trouble of one sort or another, and got the “tawse” (leather strap) so frequently it’s a wonder I had any hands left by the time I reached my teenage years!
My parents didn’t physically beat me though. The odd slap around the lug by my mother, and twice my dad took his belt to me, but I fully deserved it both times.
My point? I respected my parents for the fact that they didn’t have to resort to physical violence to reprimand me. (A week’s ban from the golf course was MUCH more effective in my case!)
And I resented the authorities greatly for the fact that they DID choose to beat me. In fact, I got myself expelled from school for a week once for telling a form teacher exactly what he could do with his leather strap. It had something to do with sticking it in a rather dark, smelly part of his anatomy, if I recall correctly.

~ ~ Attitudes in society change, and thank God this use of physical abuse to “correct” kids is now a thing of the past.
But kids STILL think there parents know nothing, and are so far behind the times that they crawled out of the Ark with old Noah!
Personally, I don’t think that this is an unhealthy attitude. It has always been so, and will always probably remain so.
We’re all a product of our own generations, and of our upbringings. A child’s general principles and attitudes are formed by what they pick up from their parents, (most of all) from their education, (greatly) from their friends and peers, (not always good) and from the media and television. (Who have a lot to answer for!)

~ ~ It’s totally normal for parents to try to protect their kids from the slings and arrows of everyday life, and to try to pass onto them some of the lessons they have learned in life.
It’s also totally normal for kids to pay no attention to them whatsoever, and to go out and often make the very same mistakes and errors that we ourselves did as kids. We live and learn, as the old saying goes, and it’s a very true one. Nothing teaches us a lesson better than personal experience, and I honestly think it’s a bad mistake that many parents make when they try to be TOO protective of their children. I think we have to try to let them make their own mistakes, but to always be there to pick up the pieces when they fall. (As they invariably do!)

~ ~ I loathe the old expression that you often hear older people using.

“It wasn’t like that in my day!”
Or alternatively.
“It wasn’t like that in the old days!”

It’s usually expressed when they are just about to be hypercritical of some real, imagined, or perceived threat to their own comfortable perceptions or convictions by a young person.
How do I answer that thorny old hackneyed expression?
Maybe not. Chances are it was a lot WORSE. That’s why we all struggle and toil. To try to ensure that the next generation, OUR children, have more opportunities and have to struggle and toil LESS than we, and our parents before us, had to.
It’s always been the way, and it always will be the way, please God!
The younger generation today are generally FAR better educated than we were.
Their job opportunities are far more varied. They expect (and demand) more from life than previous generations ever did.
And why shouldn’t they? It’s every person’s right to try to better their lot in life, and I’m glad that MY generation has managed to give them the many opportunities that we never had. Just as my parent’s did for me in their time!

~ ~ When I was a nipper, I loved bands like the Beatles and the Rolling Stones. My mother and father loved singers like Jim Reeves and Kenneth McKellar, and thought that the bands I liked were destroying the very fabric of society!
But I STILL like the Beatles and the Rolling Stones, and wonder of wonders, society is still here, and has not fallen asunder!
Today it’s singers like Marilyn Manson and Eminem that the kids all love, (examples only!) and who parents think are the devil’s own spawn. While the Beatles and the Rolling Stones are looked upon as yesterday’s news and old “wrinklies”. (Some of them are so old they are even DEAD!)
Strange thing is, I recently compiled a tape for the car of some of my own old favourites from the 60’s and 70’s, and guess what? My wee lass (12) absolutely LOVES it, and is always pestering me to put it on!

~ ~ In my younger days, it was long hair, flares, and old Levi jackets and jeans that the older generation frowned upon.
Nowadays attitudes have changed so dramatically that is often the kids who are embarrassed by what their parents are wearing!
Here’s a case of the refreshing attitudes of the young changing things for the better. Nowadays the “business suit” is no longer expected, and things are a lot more relaxed when it comes to “dress code”, for either work or play.
People are accepted more for what they ARE nowadays, and less emphasis is put on the impression they tried to achieve in the past by wearing a type of “uniform”.
Long may it last, and God bless the youngsters (past and present) for changing things in this area.

~ ~ I was at an old aunt’s funeral in Scotland a couple of years back.
She was a favourite aunt, and her son (my cousin) has always been a close friend, as well as a relative.
As we were coming out the Church after the funeral service, he said to me.

“That’s the last of the older generation gone now, Ken.”

I replied.

“Look around you mate, and smell the roses. WE’RE the older generation now!”

He looked at me with a sort of dazed expression on his face. It had obviously not occurred to him before that he was now in his late forties, and no longer a youngster.
Lots of older people are like that. Hell, I’m 52 past last July, and I don’t particularly feel any older now than I did when I was a teenager. (Apart from some aches and pains I didn’t have back then!)
But I KNOW that I have lived a full and interesting life, and that I have a lot of life knowledge and experience (good and bad) that I can attempt to pass onto the younger generation.
Whether they are prepared to take that advice is another story entirely!

~ ~ Always remember kids; YOU are the next “older generation”.
But hey, don’t worry about it. I know I never did! It’s a relatively painless transition, and one that you don’t see coming most of the time. (heh, heh)
Just get on and enjoy life, and make the most of yourself that you can.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Copyright KenJ November 2003

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I have Amanda (MandyMinx) to thank for the inspiration to write in this Category. She’s written an outstanding opinion on the generation gap, relating it to Christmas. Go and read it now!

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Comments about this review »

samileo 19.11.2003 12:21

This is interesting. Being 18 I dont really think about getting older... well i do now, lol

m.lyon 14.11.2003 16:39

Great op - particularly agree with the suggestion to read MandyMinx's op - it really is brilliant. Cheers Marc

rosillew 11.11.2003 15:01

Great op; I guess we are the same generation then you being 52 me being 51, I still think they should be allowed to use the cane in schools, my Grandson gets bullied because he is small for his age and is dyslexic, a kid tried to stab him in the playground, and his punishment was a weeks exclusion from class, he couldn't stay at home as both his parents worked, so he had a week playing computers at school, and said to my Grandson "see the school can't touch me" sorry to waffle, I loved the bit about sticking the belt in a dark smelly place, Heatherx



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