"Can I help you?" mumbled the shop assistant, without removing his intense gaze from the freedom that lay outside of the store. I wondered if he could even help himself....
Earlier today I was looking for a sports bag. At about 10am on an uncrowded Friday morning I decided to enter a sports shop as part of this search and despite admitting to not being the most capable of shoppers I assumed this was a reasonable idea. Silly me.
There are many sports shops in Bristol. They are predominantly JJB Sports though so I wasn't particularly spoilt for choice. Anyway in I sauntered not looking on spending too much cash but something reasonably sized and not that unpleasant to look at.
Suddenly my mind was full of questions. When did sports shops stop selling sports equipment? Surely the people seeking to dress like Harry Enfield's Scousers can't be so numerous that there is actually demand to meet this overwhelming supply of shell suits? If the reason all these horrible clothes and trainers exist is for people to actually do sport in them then what sport can they possibly partake in? Only one where all equipment necessary is provided by nature as this shop ONLY SELLS CLOTHES.
and so did the next one.
and another.
There appears to be five JJB 'super'stores in the Bristol area and I shudder to think of the fire hazard of so much man made material stored in one place.
Anyway I digress and also exaggerate a little, you can buy some sports equipment in the JJB sports shop I went into in Bristol but not much (four different footballs, no squash racquets, some tennis balls you get the idea)
The store did have some bags. Not cheap and not expensive, back in the original store I felt I would purchase and leave sharpish. I managed to attract the attention of the shop assistant who's position/calling seem to entail standing in front of the door and staring out of it and tried to communicate. I told him I'd like to buy the particular bag I was holding (expecting him to go and get a packaged version from the back and put the display item back on the shelf). He took it off me and looked at it thoroughly and then asked 'this bag?'. This immediately worried me but I was resolute and said yes. He pauses a while longer unsure of what to do and then tells me he'll take it to the counter for me.
I then stand in line whilst matey goes back to his more manageable task of breathing. At this point there are 5 assistants 2 tills and 1 person serving. I wait patiently just as mummy taught me. It eventually becomes my turn to be served upon which till-shop-assistant screeches over to vacant-stare-shop-assistant and asks if he can go and fetch a 'flat one' (I assume she means bag) from the back. I don't see him again. The queue grows. Till-shop-assistant does some staring to be proud of. We wait. Till-shop-assistant asks me if I'm sure I want this bag. We wait some more. Till-shop-assistant sells me the display item.
I walk outside put the bag in a bin and vow to do more sitting down and eat more cake.
Although I lied about the last bit (I eat enough cake as it is) JJB sports has the most dis-interested staff I think I've ever come across. Not bad at their jobs, simply unaware that they have jobs. When you add that to the terrible stock that they carry I think you can guess I certainly won't be returning to one in a hurry and I suggest you avoid them as well. Decent online sports shop recommendations please!
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Comments about this review »
TheReaper 08.06.2002 01:40
Very witty, very nice, but...
I am one of those shop assistants. I would give you a very helpful, but I can't. I can't because you have made too accurate a description of me at work.
By the way I am studying for my masters in Physics. I have not lost my mind... I just chose not to use it!
MichelleScott 03.11.2001 02:09
Wonderfully witty op.
SandraR 31.10.2001 20:09
I think most of these stores train their staff to act like this lol ~ Sandra
Oct 19th, 2001
very helpful by (96%):
helpful by (4%):
