Jeremy Kyle

* The Man himself *

My friends despise him, my boyfriend cringes when he hears his voice and my pet hamster hides away in his fluff at the sight of him. But please, hear me out, The Jeremy Kyle Show is the way forward.

41 year old Jez started off his broadcasting career on Birmingham's BRMB and after a few years of Frasier style radio shows, Jeremy hosted a show on Capital radio called 'Capital Confessions', much in the style of his current TV show.

Old Jez has had a fair few problems in his life too and his commentary on other people's lives is often informed from personal experience. His ex-girlfriend did naughties with a lady in the same room as their baby, his daughter married a stranger and his brother was a drug addict. To name a few.

*The Show*

Unlike the American chat shows, British chat shows do actually try and help people; the reward of making a numpty of yourself to the nation is a variety of help for the guests including counselling, anger management and support groups.

The Jeremy Kyle Show replaced poor old Trisha on ITV1 at the popular 9.25am - 10.25am slot. You might wonder what the difference is, there are loads of chat shows out there, why choose to watch this one? Well sit tight and I'll tell you. The Jeremy Kyle Show, like the rest of them, gets members of the public with the usual problems, i.e. cheating spouses, unknown paternity and angry kids, all together on a big stage in front of a studio audience and a few TV cameras. The difference to the other shows is that Jez actually cares about helping them.

Jez reminds me somewhat of Kilroy, but is much less annoying. Unlike Kilroy, Jeremy remains neutral until both sides of the story are heard and he encourages his studio audience to do so (he also doesn't sit on his guests). When he has made up his mind he is extremely opinionated and does not let his guests leave without a piece of his mind. In the words of Jeremy "You will listen to me, it's my show and my face on the wall". Quality line.

I think the thing about this show which I like the most is that Jeremy really feels for his guests. Like Rikki, there's a few times you see him choked and a tear in his eye. Like a chat show Santa, old Jez will often offer presents (especially to his younger guests) by way of reward for improved behaviour, I don't necessarily condone this but it is funny that you just know he's getting an earful from some producer somewhere for giving out unplanned free stuff again!

* Typical Shows *

 The Lie Detector

Right, for those of you unfamiliar with chat shows and/or the complicated lives of other people; the Lie Detector Test is used to determine who has been 'sleeping' with whom, when they were sleeping with the afore mentioned and, this is the crucial part, if the accused 'sleeper-arounder-er' was on 'a break' with the accuser at the time that the 'sleeping' took place. All a bit complicated I hear you cry! Well that's what Jeremy's beloved lie detector solves, meaning that the darling couples can live happily ever after (please hear my sarcasm!) or go their separate ways.

 The DNA test 

Now if everyone just followed Jeremy's favourite commandment "Thou must always use contraception" he probably wouldn't have a show. So much 'sleeping' around, so many babies with unknown daddies. Oh dear. Unlike Trisha, rather than condemning blokes for not wearing the correct swimwear… Jeremy tells everyone off and offers help and guidance after the show with his fantabulous psychologist Graham, rather than just giving out test results.

 The Naughty Kids 

The thing about Saint Jeremy is, that he isn't nearly as patronising to his younger audience members as Trisha is or even dear old Jerry. When the troublesome teenagers walk on his stage he treats them like adults and doesn't sugar coat things or blame everything on the parents (oh Trisha, you never learn). Jeremy may not be psychologically trained but he does know how to speak to young people and how to find out what is at the root of their problems, without casting blame.

* Violence *

Now, no chat show would be complete without its own little spattering of grumpy people. Jerry Springer paid them to do it, Trisha splits them up before they've even breathed on each other but Jeremy has the balance just right. Some of the people on the show have been really badly done to, take the woman the other day whose sister did the dirty with both of her husbands, why send in the heavies before they have chance to air their feelings, better out than in is what I say. Jeremy's guests are given chance to shout, scream and flail from the studio bouncers' arms before they are made to sit down and try the talking cure. Good show.

* Conclusion *

Give it a go, even if it's just to hear old Jeremy say "you are lying madam" or "you are amazing, did you know that?" It'll have you engrossed before you can say floccinaucinihilipilification, (wow I spelt that right first go!) I'm not saying it's quality viewing, it's not but what it is, is a great hour to veg out in front of the TV when you're like me and have nothing else better to do than watch telly and write reviews about the crap you watch! Thanks to Tuftie for recommending I move my lazy behind and write some new reviews!

Happy viewing. Remember, weekdays, 9.25, ITV1. If you're a lover try it again in the afternoon 2pm - 4pm ITV2. Closely followed by Rikki Lake and then Montel. Day time TV rules. Enough said.