Purple spot, all in my account / Making things just don't seem the same. Not had much time to write ...
Purple spot, all in my account / Making things just don't seem the same. Not had much time to write or rate recently, but I will get back into gear. Must seek out another fool to not suffer gladly, no vitriol for a while...
Member since:14.09.2009
Reviews:12
Members who trust:21
Everyone’s heard of the Jeremy Kyle Show (ITV 2) by now. A judge has called it a form of human bear-baiting and it recently caused another furore by ‘inadvertently’ broadcasting a swear word. The format is simple enough. Kyle, who looks like a cross between a particularly miffed warthog and a premiership footballer whose name I don’t know, invites contestants (‘guests’ is too genteel a word) onto the show to thrash out deeply personal problems in front of a TV audience of a few million, in exchange for his sagely advice and a night in a cheap hotel in Manchester with free run of the mini-bar (that’s probably not true, by the way).
The problems typically consist of alcoholism, drug dependency, “am I the real father” scenarios, “my daughter is going off the rails” narratives, “Mum, your being a 70-year-old stripper is quite embarrassing”, etc. etc., All pretty pedestrian stuff once you’ve seen a couple of shows.
Some of the guests though are suitably off-the-wall and can make for compelling viewing. Jeremy's advice, on the other hand, consists almost entirely of genuinely frightening split-personality explosions directed against any guest to whom Judge Jeremy has taken a dislike. I mean seriously – this is a man who can go from practically cuddling someone to stamping on their face with steam coming out of his ears in 3.2 seconds. This in turn makes the whole spectacle deliciously unpredictable. Turn JKS on, and you don’t know whether you’ll get a pouting “I actually quite like you, sweet”, or a bellowing “How dare you take my taxes and not wear a condom while doing your best friend’s girlfriend and smoking cannabis, you disgust me, scum, scum, aaaaarrrrghhh!!!!!”. You can play a nice little game when watching with friends, by placing bets on the points during the show at which Jeremy will completely blow his top and storm around the stage like some crazed vengeful God pouring forth fire and brimstone on bewildered contestants (I am not religious, but I’m convinced he has demonic powers). It’s actually quite satisfying if you predict an outburst successfully. Hours of fun.
Judging from previous reviews, it’s real Marmite TV: some cry “the best thing on daytime TV!!”, while others sneer at Kyle or his ‘chav’ guests, condemning the show whilst, in a curious voyeuristic twist, watching enough of it to form an opinion. Personally, I sit in the middle of these positions, feeling ambivalent about the whole decadent circus. It certainly gets the voyeurism receptors firing and of course, we all enjoy watching a massive fight (oh, admit it!). On the other hand, I always feel bad about taking pleasure in others’ misfortune, thereby sucking yet more joy out of the world and inviting karmic response upon myself. I also feel the JKS format’s got a bit tired and repetitive, so here are my suggestions to pep up the next series and make us feel less guilty for watching (probably not).
1. Run a special in which people on benefits who watch JKS pour vitriol upon JK, because they are paying his extortionate wage by watching him, and what the hell has he done to contribute to society? Outpouring of hate from both sides. Big fight in which JK comes off best, on account of his demonic powers. Roll credits. 2. Rename the show “Kyle’s Bile”. Go on. It’s so much catchier. Does what it says on the tin. Oh, please, please, please? 3. Sneak onto the show, but instead of dealing with any personal issues, ask JK a series of mind-bending surreal and philosophical questions “if I think where I am not, am I where I do not think?”, “When am I no longer me”, etc. etc. It would be nice to see JK looking unsure for a change. Maybe we could invite de-motivating existential despair, causing Jeremy to ask what the whole point is anyway and sigh despondently around the stage while contestants judge him.
Scratch that last one. It’d be quite dull TV if JK became unassured and downtrodden. We need his hilarious pantomime hate. That’s what the JKS is about. Misery. And fighting.
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Love the review of JC's so called show. I have watched it, a long time ago, with dropped jaw - it promotes a totally chavtastic society and where these people come from I have no idea. I would not watch it again, not for a gold clock and all the T in China.
clumsy221 11.11.2009 22:42
Spot on ... where do they keep finding these people:)
Advantages: Effective decimation of unnecessary brain cells Disadvantages: By watching it, you're directly contributing to Jeremy Kyle's smugness fund.
SweetBerryJam 12.11.2009 ·
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Review of Jeremy Kyle
Sep 16th, 2009
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