Jif Cream Cleaner

I like to think I'm a liberated man, you could call me a modern, nineties man, although it would probably have to be noughties nowadays. I wash and iron my own clothes, I have been known to let my girlfriend out of the kitchen (well, truthfully it's hard to get her in there!), I'm quite happy to have a female boss, especially if she's attractive! I think I'm in touch with my feminine side, although I draw the line at wearing women's clothes (except on the last Thursday of the month!!). I darn my own socks, I even use moisturiser! I'm more than happy in an equal relationship, and I'm all for equality of the sexes.

My partner and I share all the household chores, although I've always had a bit of a problem with cleaning the bathroom. Well, not the bathroom especially, I just don't do toilets. The isn't so much of a problem as my girlfriend is usually very accommodating, but I've been working away from home lately, and to be honest, I've neglected the bathroom a bit. The sink was getting a bit grimy, which you can just about cope with, but he toilet was getting a bit too smelly, which I can't cope with. I think it's something to do with peeing standing up. Us men sometimes have a mental block and suffer from an inability to aim correctly. This aiming problem is often, although not always, associated with a few too many alcoholic beverages!

The upshot of all this is that I could leave it no longer, I finally took the plunge and went for it, I cleaned the bathroom.

This wasn't something I undertook lightly, I came well prepared. I put on some old clothes, an nice pinny and donned a rather fetching pink pair of marigolds and dived in. Not being too educated on modern bathroom cleaners I thought I'd stick with an old staple, something that always seemed to be on hand at my parents house, and also something I could buy at my local shop, yes, that old staple Jif cream. And not just any old Jif cream, I got the lemon scented cream, no expense spared in my bathroom I can assure you!

Although maybe I shouldn't be calling it Jif anymore. The label might still say Jif, but I'm reliably informed by a rather naff TV advert that, in the sake of European harmony, the name has been changed to Cif. How naff! I don't see why we can't stick with good old Jif. They have different names for cars on the Continent, so why not household cleaners? We've had Marathon changed to Snickers, Opal Fruits changed to StarBurst, and now Jif to Cif, what next?

Anyway, back to the subject, what was it again, ah yes, Jif cream. I bet your wondering how it performed, go on, admit it, you're on the edge of your seat. Well, I won't keep you in suspense any longer....

I bought the bullet and wait straight to the toilet, which was ponging away in the corner quite nicely. I liberally, and I mean liberally, sprayed the toilet with Jif cream. Maybe half a bottle was going a bit overboard, but it had been sometime since this toilet had seen a cleanser and sponge. I took a deep breath and began scrubbing. I don't know whether it was lots of elbow grease, or the Jif cream, but it worked really well. I found out that my toilet really was white after all, even under the rim, which had gone a rather rusty orange over the past few months! A few minutes scrubbing away with Jif and liberal sprinklings of water and the toilet was as good as new, it even smelt lovely, a nice, clean smelling lemon, which was a great departure from just a few minutes earlier I can assure you.

Fresh from my success I swiftly moved on to the sink and the bath. I'm afraid to say I used pretty much all the rest of the bottle, which may have been a bit of overkill on my part, but you have to bear in mind I'm not used to this. With a fresh sponge (the other one was pretty worn out and grimy at this stage!) I attacked the rest of the bathroom suite, and it was soon sparkling and smelling of lemons too, it was like I'd opened a greengrocers in my own bathroom.

Remarkable stuff I can tell you. I'm reliably informed by my girlfriend that Jif is really good as it does not damage enamel. I'm not quite sure what this means as I'm only a bloke, but she says it's 'very good for bathrooms' and who am I to argue? It only costs 89p a bottle, smells great and certainly seemed to do the job.

OK, I used pretty much a whole bottle in one go, but it had been some time since my bathroom had witnessed such a cleaning attempt, and I'm sure you can get away with using much less on a regular basis. I can't compare it with other bathroom cleaners as I've not got too much experience in this area, maybe in a few months! But it certainly seemed to do job, smells great and my mum swears by it, so it can't be all that bad. Why pay two or three quid for one of these new-fangled cleaners when 89p, a sponge, some bravery from a new-age man and some elbow grease will do the job too!