Sign Language
Sign over a gynaecologist's office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
On a plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."
On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."
At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blow-out."
Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "Let us pick your nose."
On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."
At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
In a podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."
On a fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet miss a car payment."
Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry.
Come on in and get fed up."
In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
At the entrance to a sperm bank: "The customer always comes first"
At the exit of the same bank: "Thank you for coming, please come again."
+++++++++++Things You Might Not Have Known+++++++++++
Money isn't made out of paper. It's made out of cotton.
The 57 on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of varieties of
pickle the company once had.
A rat can last longer without water than a camel.
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it
will digest itself.
The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.
The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.
A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down
continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.
A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.
A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why.
A 2 X 4 is really 1-1/2 by 3-1/2.
40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
Every person has a unique eye & tongue print.
The "spot" on the 7-Up comes from its inventor who had red eyes. He was an
albino.
315 entries in Webster's 1996 dictionary were misspelled.
During the chariot scene in "Ben Hur", a small red car can be seen in the distance.
On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.!
John Wilkes Booth's brother once saved the life of Abraham Lincoln's son.
Warren Beatty and Shirley McLaine are brother and sister.
Chocolate kills dogs. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system.
A few ounces is enough to kill a small sized dog.
Daniel Boone detested coonskin caps.
Playing cards were issued to British pilots in WWII. If captured, they
could be soaked in water and unfolded to reveal a map for escape.
Most lipstick contains fish scales.
Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedo-ing up into the shark's
stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.
Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
Dr. Seuss is actually pronounced Seuss such that it sounds like Sue-ice.
Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.
During the California gold rush of 1849, miners sent their laundry to
Honolulu for washing and pressing. Due to the extremely high costs in
California during these boom years, it was deemed more feasible to send their
shirts to Hawaii for servicing.
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each
salad served in First Class.
Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were
made of wood.
The number of possible ways of playing the first four moves per side in a
game of chess is 318,979,564,000.
Upper and lower case letters are named "upper" and "lower" because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the upper case letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the lower case letters.
There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.
There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange, purple and silver.
The numbers "172" can be found on the back of the US 5 dollar bill, in the
bushes at the base of the Lincoln Memorial.
The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan. There was never a
recorded Wendy before.
The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War II killed
the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
There are 4 cars and 11 lightposts on the back on the US 10 dollar bill.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. It also took him 10 years to paint
Mona Lisa's lips.
If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go
mad and sting itself to death.
Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to s-l-o-w film down so you
could see his moves. That's the opposite of the norm.
If you have 3 quarters, 4 dimes and 4 pennies, you'd have $1.19. You would
also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA".
The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was actually a
Captain Kirk mask painted white.
The original name for butterfly was flutterby.
The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated
that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for
automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was Victrola,
so they called themselves Motorola.
Roses may be red, but violets are indeed violet.
By raising your legs slowly and laying on your back, you cannot sink into
quicksand.
Casey Kasem is the voice of Shaggy on Scooby Doo.
Celery has negative calories. It takes more calories to eat a piece of
celery than the celery has in it to begin with.
Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.
In Gulliver's Travels, Jonathan Swift described the two moons of Mars, Phobos and Deimos, giving their exact size and speeds of rotation. He did this more than 100 years before either moon was discovered.
Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
Sherlock Holmes NEVER said "Elementary, my dear Watson".
An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take
more than 3 steps backwards while dancing.
Sharon Stone was the first Star Search spokesmodel.
The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher.
The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most
often stolen from Public Libraries.
Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because
passing wind in a spacesuit damages them.
Back in the mid to late 80s, an IBM compatible computer wasn't considered
100% compatible unless it could run Microsoft's Flight Simulator.
Bats always turn left when exiting a cave!!
A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death.
A snail can sleep for three years.
All Polar bears are left-handed.
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
Cat's urine glows under a black light.
China has more English speakers than the United States.
Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a normal human's neck.
If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white.
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
No word in the English language rhymes with month.
On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the '30s lobbied against hemp farmers, they saw it as competition.
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
Starfish haven't got brains.
The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
The average human eats eight spiders in their lifetime at night.
The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth 2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."
The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.
The sentence, "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English language.
The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.
There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
You are more likely to be killed by a Champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.
You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
You share your birthday with at least nine million other people in the world.
jokes and interesting facts 
Terrific stuff! And so much of it. Thanks a lot.