Jokes

IN ORDER TO ASSURE THE HIGHEST LEVELS OF QUALITY AND PRODUCTIVITY FROM EMPLOYEES, IT WILL BE OUR POLICY TO KEEP ALL EMPLOYEES WELL TRAINED THROUGH OUR PROGRAM OF SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). WE ARE TRYING TO GIVE EMPLOYEES MORE S.H.I.T. THAN ANYONE ELSE.

IF YOU FEEL THAT YOU DO NOT RECEIVE YOUR SHARE OF S.H.I.T. ON THE JOB PLEASE SEE YOUR MANAGER. YOU WILL BE IMMEDIATELY PLACED AT THE TOP OF THE S.H.I.T. LIST, AND OUR MANAGERS ARE SPECIALLY TRAINED TO GIVE YOU ALL THE S.H.I.T. YOU CAN HANDLE.

EMPLOYEES WHO DO NOT TAKE THEIR S.H.I.T. WILL BE PLACED IN THE DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMMES D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. THOSE WHO FAIL TO TAKE D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. SERIOUSLY WILL HAVE TO GO TO EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.) SINCE OUR MANAGERS TOOK S.H.I.T. BEFORE THEY WERE PROMOTED THEY DO NOT HAVE TO DO S.H.I.T. ANYMORE, AND THEY ARE FULL OF S.H.I.T. ALREADY.

IF YOU ARE FULL OF S.H.I.T. YOU MAY BE INTERESTED IN A JOB TRAINING OTHERS.

WE CAN ADD YOUR NAME TO THE BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.) THOSE WHO ARE FULL OF B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. WILL GET THE S.H.I.T. JOBS, AND CAN APPLY FOR PROMOTION TO DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMME (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.)

ALSO NOW WE CAN OFFER A HIGHER DEGREE IN S.H.I.T. CALLED SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING EXTENDED (S.H.I.T.E) THIS WILL ENABLE YOU TO BE HIGHER QUALIFIED THEREFORE BE ABLE GET SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING TASK EXPELLING RELOCATION (S.H.I.T.T.E.R) JOBS THIS WILL INVOLVE US PAYING TO MOVE YOU INTO A NEW COMPANY OF OURS.

IF YOU HAVE ANY FURTHER QUESTIONS, PLEASE DIRECT THEM TO:- HEAD OF TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.)

THANK YOU,

BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)