KFC > Reviews (64)

If you’re somebody with exotic (and expensive) taste buds then you are probably reading the wrong opinion, because this is the third (and probably final) of my opinions on fast-food, to see how the Colonel’s chicken joints shape up to the more traditional beefy delights of McDonald’s (4 stars) and Burger King (3 stars). Now it might go without saying, but Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) isn’t exactly Szechwan or Peking, it is distinctly Kentucky. What on earth is that meant to mean? I mean it is convenient, fattening and of course tasty. Obvious? Well there you go then, still 20 words short of the minimum.

~The Long March~

The institution that we know as KFC began in 1952 when Colonel Harland Sanders’ first sold the franchise to the KFC “special recipe”. Over the relatively few years since it has achieved fantastic success, based upon the solid foundations of the Colonel’s secret recipe. The food is excellent and the range of fried chicken delights on the menu is the basis of what makes KFC so great. From the “original recipe” meal of 2 chicken drumsticks, chips (known as fries) and a drink (sprite, pepsi or fanta, the rivals to McDonald’s drinks selection) at just £2.99, to the “Bargain Bucket” of 6 chicken pieces, four “fries” and four soft drinks at £7.99 KFC has a superb range of products. My personal favourites are the twister meal (£3.49) and the zinger (spicy) tower meal (also £3.49). The twister is also available as a vegetarian version and the tower meal can just be plain (non-spicy). So what are they, well the twister is chicken in KFC batter strips rolled up in a tortilla with lettuce and a fantastically nice mayonnaise-based sauce, while the tower is a chicken burger and a hash brown with salad and sauce. Simple but surprisingly nice. Also available are a plain chicken burger meal (normal or zinger, both £3.29), and various size chicken piece meals similar to but bigger than the aforementioned Bargain Bucket. I’ll discuss the latest release, popcorn chicken, later on. All the chicken stuff is very nice, thanks to the KFC recipe, which makes for a ‘tangy’ batter and although incredibly unhealthy saves any of the food from being in the slightest bit bland.

All burgers etc. are available on their own, but I always have them as part of a meal so I’m afraid I’m not too sure about the prices. Every meal can be increased to a large (i.e. a large chips and drink) for just 30p, as with McDonalds. The chips are certainly up to standard, not as thin or salty as the McDonalds ones, but sadly still referred to as fries for some obscene reason. The drinks are pretty much the same as anywhere else, much as you would expect. Personally I think that KFC have better food than McDonalds or burger King, and they have a better variety to, rather than simply selling burgers with slightly different sauces. A children’s meal is available that consists of one chicken drumstick or two crispy chicken strips, a small fries, drink, tube of what is apparently strawberry custard (?

) and a toy. Ignoring the strawberry custard, the menu and food is therefore rock solid and faultless, so the search for an imperfection that I can pounce on must continue.

~The Feng-Shui~

If KFC has such a successful body then what of the make-up? On entering one of it’s many food outlets I very much doubt that Chinese philosophers would find themselves filled with any sense of peace or calm. The place always seems rather manic, not least because the staff are rushing around preparing food for hundreds of hungry customers. Still you can’t blame them for that, and the food generally arrives quickly because all meals are made up of the same chicken pieces or strips, so the staff merely have to put together your meal, which takes on average around about 30 seconds. And if your food isn’t likely to arrive within that time then the staff will usually apologise profusely, for they are very nice even if they are almost as greasy as the food.

As with other major fast-food vendors you can opt to eat-in or take-away. Here is he who seeks it can discover the first imperfection in KFC, for there outlets, especially the one in Maidstone, have a small and crowded eating area, although it is usually pretty clean. Needless to say I prefer to take my meal outside and either sit down on a bench to eat it, or eat it while walking along (a skill that the younger generation have that adults never needed to develop- the coordination involved with walking while carrying and consuming chips, drink and burger takes some time to master). The main chicken part of the food is usually in a polystyrene box, but unfortunately the twister cannot fit in one of them so it is wrapped in silver foil, which can be a bit awkward but not half as awkward as Burger King burgers, so no real complaints there. However the brown paper bag that it is all in does have a slight tendency to rip sometimes, but this is no worse than with Burger King bags, while McDonalds bags appear to be slightly better, or perhaps a McDonalds meal is just lighter?

The make up then, is pretty reasonable, but there are a few touches that cause ripples in the calm sea of perfection.

~Appeal to the Masses~

Why then, if KFC is so great, are Burger King and McDonalds more popular? The answer to this could not be more simple, although there are a couple of different reasons. Firstly, how often have you seen a KFC advertisement on TV? Occasionally yes, but they are short and cheap without the touch of humour that appeals to the everyday pleb that visits fast food places (me included). KFC do a really bad job of marketing and although they try to periodically introduce new “limited edition” products in the style of McDonalds, these are not always particularly impressive. Take the example of the newly introduced popcorn chicken, at £2.99 for a meal. What is it? Nothing more than some very small chicken nuggets; not especially inspiring.

Secondly KFC is not as established as the two burger giants; its outlets are usually not in the centre of town, but are small places slightly off the beaten track.

This is not always the case, but as with the advertising one gets the impression that they do not have quite as much money to splash around as their competitors. Therefore it is not quite as convenient as it could be for the aforementioned everyday plebs.

However it is a fantastic place with a great selection of chicken products. It is not the height of cuisine and despite the vegetarian twister meal I can see it being a disappointment for those who do not like chicken, or who are like a friend of mine allergic to citrus fruits, the juices of which are part of the secret (not so secret now!) KFC recipe. Otherwise the food is excellent, as is the service, but the whole place is in need of a little tarting up with glossy red lipstick, and I for one wouldn’t mind a few short-skirts either (although not on those gorillas of “females” they have as staff).

For more info visit the goddamn place! Or read someone else’s op!

Disclaimer: I accept no liability for offence caused to KFC staff by this opinion- any statement is purely about the “norm” and the relation it bears to any KFC staff in particular is entirely a coincidence. Am I covered now? Lawyer please.