I like to research into the issue I'm writing about. I wrote about the Lisbon Treaty recently. I did...
I like to research into the issue I'm writing about. I wrote about the Lisbon Treaty recently. I didn't expect to win the competition, but I wrote well nonetheless.
I got four rates. I don't see the point of writing if no one will read it.
Member since:26.02.2002
Reviews:41
Members who trust:21
Oh, how I hate these kids convenience food ‘Snax’. Chief among these horribly new and strange products are Darylea. Y’see, they seem to think that if you slap a few bits of cheese, slabs of cold meat and a couple of dried biscuits in an environment polluting plastic container, people will rush out and buy their kids this crap. Oh, and put in some rubbish adverts during kids TV showing children of similar ages having a whale of a time stacking together some processed meat into dried biscuits. Would this work? Of course not. Nobody in their right mind would be tricked by these thieves into actually buying this mank, would they, right? Err, right? Wrong. Darylea Lunchables sold so fast they made the Pizza version, the Hot Dog version and goodness knows what else. Let’s dig deeper…
Packaging, Pricing and Contents Very perplexing: A cow doing a jig while balancing some of the ‘food’ inside. It says; Darylea Lunchables in big letters on the top. Oh, come on, you’ve seen this cack before. It’s mainly blue all over, and there isn’t much else on the pack. Peel off the front and you come into the food area. There are three hole things that contain the ‘cheese’ the ‘ham’ and the ‘biscuits’. They are stacked up in separate columns, usually stuck together (the bottom cheese usually has a recyclable symbol on it from the bottom of the pack). Amazingly, the ham is usually soaking in some sort of brine (it smells like urine) and is about as tasty as your granny’s feet. Yuck. The biscuits are also a few stacked in a separate column. You only get slabs of cheese, ham and biscuits for your £1.49…Oh sorry, didn’t I mention that? You’re going to have to fork out a quid fifty to feed this utter gruel to your kids, and you don’t get much of it either. Oh wait, that’s a good point: the less of it the better, I s’pose.
Taste They don’t have any. This is the main reason I hate this crap: the taste. It’s horrible; the cheese is indistinguishable from a tyre and gum mixture, the meat tastes as if it has been taken from unsanitary parts of animals and not been cleaned, and the biscuits are drier than the Sahara. It really is as bad as I’m saying it to be. This is utterly, utterly dire. And the worst part is that there are many people who buy this rubbish. The meat, in particular, was wet, flimsy and slimy: It tasted as if it was processed (which it probably was). The cheese is about 39% actual cheese, 15% gum and 46% mystery rubbish. It tastes very, very bad. The cheese is thickly sliced and rubbery. In all, it tastes as if it was made using the very, very cheapest materials Darylea could find lying around. To cap it all off, and I quote, from a Kraft spokesperson (Kraft make Darylea) said “…Darylea is made using only the highest quality turkey, chicken or ham meat, as clearly labelled on the pack” Pfft! Yeah, sure… “Highest quality”. That’s a total lie. These taste, look and smell horrible. The hot dog ones are sickening to look at (let alone eat), the Pizza ones contained a sort of cold tomato puree to put on the base of it, the chicken burger ones are indescribably mank.
Conclusion Kids don’t deserve this plastic crap. Adults don’t deserve it. No one deserves it. And no one should pay any money for this, certainly not £1.50 for them. 49p is a more realistic price, although I would never approach it, even then. What people have to realise is that kids shouldn’t eat this rubbish. It’s unhealthy, too (It contains about a quarter of a 6- year-olds Recommended Daily Allowance- horrific considering the taste). It’s unhealthy. It’s disgusting. It smells horrid. And many kids are still eating it. In short: if you buy these after reading this, you have not only lost £1.50., but your also treating your kids (or yourself) to unhealthy crap. You only have yourself to blame if you purchase these in the coming weeks.
*Sorry to go on and on, thanks for listening to me ramble.
Did you try all the flavours? who actually bought them for you? Perhaps you should stick to buying and reviewing things which you like - anyway, you always have the recourse to complain to the manufacturer if it is not "up-to-standard" ~~~~{:-)-{{:::::|||||<
Pastynicholls 27.04.2004 14:38
Here Here! i hate the stuff! not only as i'm lactose intolerant, but the fact is they are bad for my kids health! better to spend a bit longer preparing healthy sarnies at home for them and possibly some home made biscuits (that they made) etc... Oh and i noticed that "Wee" smell when i bought lunchables for the first and very definately ONLY time! Good review! you didn't hold back on the punches! and i for one totally agree with you!
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