Kronenbourg 1664

...Artois, Grolsch and Carlsberg Export, Kronenbourg is a strong lager and its strength can lead to some unfortunate situations... here's five things you shouldn't say when you've been drinking Kronenbourg 1664.


"Yes, Darling, you can have another baby..."

Business was flourishing in 1850 when the brewery, now run by Jérôme's descendant Frédéric-Guillaume, moved from Strasbourg to nearby Cronenbourg. The ...
...Hatt renamed Tigre Bock as Kronenbourg and this is the brand that many of us know and love today.

Personally, I blame Kronenbourg for the birth of my children. Kronenbourg 1664 is the company's premier brand, carrying an ABV (Alcohol By Volume) rating of 5.0%. Considering Carlsberg, one of the UK's best selling brands, carries an ABV of 3.8%, the difference in alcohol content is quite dramatic. Still, I've always enjoyed a pint or ... more

In 1664 a young Frenchman looking for something to do to keep himself out of mischief decided to have a go at brewing beer. Jérôme Hatt was awarded the status of Brewer-Cooper, which meant he could brew and sell his own beer, and quickly set up a brewery in Strasbourg. Over the last 342 years the brewery has gone from strength to strength, today holding a reputation as brewer of one of Europe's leading Premium Lagers, amongst other brands, and appearing on many a pub and bar's lo- or hi-liners. Like other premium lagers, including Stella Artois, Grolsch and Carlsberg Export, Kronenbourg is a strong lager and its strength can lead to some unfortunate situations... here's five things you shouldn't say when you've been drinking Kronenbourg 1664.

"Yes, Darling, you can have another baby..."

Business was flourishing in 1850 when the brewery, now run by Jérôme's descendant Frédéric-Guillaume, moved from Strasbourg to nearby Cronenbourg. The original buildings were located too close to the river Ill and were regularly flooded by overspill from the river following periods of heavy rainfall. From the brewery's new location, Frédéric-Guillaume quickly set about increasing the distribution of beer from his company and by 1857 was helping assuage the thirst of his fellow countrymen as far away as Paris, some 500 kilometers from the brewery itself. Today, the brewery is the market leader in France, with almost 40% of the country's market share, and is ranked fifth overall in Europe.

You could be forgiven for thinking that the brand we recognise today as 'Kronenbourg' is derived from the brewery's location, but in fact it was given by another descendant of the founder, named after his ancestor. In 1947 another Jérôme Hatt took over the reigns of the brewery and evaluated the company's position. Earlier in the century, in 1922, the Hatt Brewery - or Brasserie Hatt as the company was officially known - had taken over Brasserie du Tigre, giving the brewery a leading position with its own brand and now the famous Tigre Bock beer. In '47, Hatt renamed Tigre Bock as Kronenbourg and this is the brand that many of us know and love today.

Personally, I blame Kronenbourg for the birth of my children. Kronenbourg 1664 is the company's premier brand, carrying an ABV (Alcohol By Volume) rating of 5.0%. Considering Carlsberg, one of the UK's best selling brands, carries an ABV of 3.8%, the difference in alcohol content is quite dramatic. Still, I've always enjoyed a pint or two of good ol' Kronie but it has left me saying things that I regret the next day. Alcohol impairs the brain's ability to function correctly, often resulting in slurred speech, reduced motor function and blank spaces in your memory the next day. Many a time I've woken up to my wife and she's saying something like: "come on, you promised to buy me that £10'000 diamond necklace today" and I'll be lying their in a befuddled state as my hangover-impaired brain tries to make sense of what she has just said.

On two occasions in my life I've woken up to the immortal words: "Darling, I'm pregnant, isn't it wonderful?" and my poor 1664-infused brain has simply melted.

Clearly, then, I haven't consumed enough of the beverage. With a 5.0% alcohol strength, I should have had just one more pint before going to bed with her. That way, certain motor functions will have been further impaired resulting in my wife being unable to take advantage of my unguarded body while in its inebriated state and, instead of being horny, I will have been just like the name of the river the Brasserie Hatt brewery was first located near: Ill.

"One for the road..."

Of course, it's illegal to drink and drive and I wouldn't condone it at all, don't do it myself and will regularly take the keys off my customers if I suspect that they are going to drink and drive. On some occasions I have ordered taxis for them and on one occasion I have actually driven a customer home. The idiom, however, is now a staple part of bar life and many people will ask for 'one more for the road' before they go.

Kronenbourg 1664's flavour is usually the reason I ask for one more, even if my vision is impaired and I'm beginning to think that I'm no longer wearing my glasses. Brewed with a unique blend of hops, including aromatic hops from the Alsace region, Kronenbourg 1664 has an immensely hoppy taste for a lager and is strong and full on your tongue, a lot like premium bitters. The gas fizzes in your mouth and is instantly refreshing but the crispness of this golden beer leaves your mouth dry and wanting more. It often results in drinkers deciding to have one more quick pint before heading home.

The phrase 'One for the road' originated from the belief that it was necessary to have one more drink before leaving to make the journey ahead more enjoyable. Kronenbourg's recent advertising strategy expands on the need to have one more by hinting that Kronenbourg is so good (which I believe it is) that you will forgo all other tasks in order to enjoy it, hence the slogan "1664, a bad year for music, a good year for beer," and their latest ad, "1664, a bad year for sculpture, a good year for beer." Also running is the promotion of 1664 Cold, where the star of the ad is desperately searching for somewhere to sit, eventually to end up as a nude model in order that he can enjoy his pint...

"You're hot stuff, baby."

Typically, a lager is served up at about seven degrees Celsius from the coolers in your pub's cellar, but - following the recent craze for colder beers - Kronenbourg is now also available as an Extra Cold beer. The technology behind this is simple: as well as coming through the standard cooler the beer is then cooled a second time at the fount, this time lowering the served temperature to a frosty 2-3 degrees Celsius. This gives the lager an even more definitive taste, creating a pleasant sparkle on the tongue and, you will notice, making the draught lager taste much more like the Kronenbourg that comes from the cans you keep in your fridge.

Arguments abound as to whether colder product tastes better or not as some believe the colder the product the less flavour it has, but on a hot summer's day there is no doubt that a really cold beer is more refreshing than a warmer one and this is often reflected in the lager-versus-bitter battle during summer. In winter, bitters tend to outstrip the sale of lagers, but on a hot day the bitter pumps will remain still while lager will flow freely. Decrease the temperature of the lager further and the refreshment increases in contrast but the taste changes further. Kronenbourg Extra Cold does not taste as heavy and the fizz is lighter on your tongue, leaving a pleasant aftertaste and increasing your refreshment. It's an enjoyable product that complements the standard 1664 well.

Extra Cold products came to the fore when breweries and pub companies noticed that the sale of lager was drifting towards the supermarkets and home drinking. A lot of this was down to price, but another deciding factor came from the ability for consumers to store their lagers in the fridge and make them as refreshing as possible. The manufacturers came up with the idea of producing an extra cold lager and Fosters stormed to the front, with sales of Fosters Extra Cold dramatically increasing the brand's keg turnover. Kronenbourg, Carling and several other brewers all followed suit and sales of Extra Cold product are now as equally impressive as their standard counterparts.

"Yes, Darling, you can have that expensive holiday."

It's difficult to argue with your wife about expensive purchases when you have a penchant for expensive beer. Kronenbourg 1664 is a premium lager and as such is priced accordingly, whether you buy it in bottle, can or draught-from-the-pub format. Depending on where you drink, a pint of draught 1664 in a pub will cost you anywhere between £2.70 (which is incredibly cheap) and £4.00; compare that with a mainstream lager such as Carlsberg and the price is somewhat different: a typical variation of between £2.30 and £2.60 a pint.

If you prefer to drink at home, bottled Kronenbourg will cost you roughly 65p per bottle (purchased in a 20-bottle pack) and this equates to about £1.30 a pint; using Carlsberg as the benchmark once again, bottled Carlsberg in a similar pack would cost you roughly 50p per bottle, or just £1.00 per pint. In cans, Kronenbourg would cost you approximately 94p per 440ml can (in a four-pack) whilst Carlsberg would cost you 72p for a larger 500ml can*.

Premium lager will always cost more, but - in my humble opinion - it tastes far nicer, gives you a better feeling and is generally a much more enjoyable experience.

However you choose to enjoy it, Kronenbourg tastes great from the supermarket or the pub, be it the standard stuff or the really cold stuff. And now Kronenbourg are expanding their range further.

In the past year, the brewery has launched Kronenbourg Blanc, a white beer with a citrus flavour. White beers are cloudy in colour and use more wheat in their production. They produce a different look and a different flavour which, in the case of Kronenbourg Blanc, can be described as 'lemony'. Personally, I'm not a fan of this particular new variety; I don't find it as crisp or as refreshing as the original product and it left me feeling a bit like gagging. Everybody has their own personal taste, I'm aware, but if you're looking for a recommendation on which of the Kronenbourg products to try, go with the original 1664 or 1664 Extra Cold varieties; both will tastes superb and both offer exceptional rewards for their cost.

"Yes, Megan, I'll duet Bohemiam Rhapsody with you."

'I see a little silhouette of a man, scaramouche scaramouche will you do the fandango...' When you're in a pub environment, enjoying the beer of your choice, after a little while you become a little less in control of your thoughts and tend to agree to things that you wouldn't ordinarily do. So, four pints of the luscious French beer later my barmaid, Megan, suggested that we do a duet of Queen's legendary song at the pub's disco. I'm going to need just a pint or two more to be able to get through this one...

'Galileo galileo, galileo figaro-magnifico...' so in conclusion let's all raise our glasses to a beer that is certainly Magnifico, however you choose to enjoy it, wherever you choose to enjoy it.

'Is this just real life, is this just fantasy..." after a few pints of Kronenbourg, you really won't be able to tell the difference.

'Caught in a landslide, no escape from this crap review..." reality sort of fades in to obscurity when you've been drinking any form of alcohol, but it's always pleasing to know that with a quality lager such as Kronenbourg, the taste is supreme, the sensation terrific, the pleasure all yours and the hangover not too different to having your head run over several times by a JCB 3CX.

One final thought: when you're enjoying copious amounts of Kronenbourg 1664, strange things occur to you. For instance: did you realise that tomorrow [Monday 18th September] it will be just fourteen weeks til Christmas? Let's raise a toast to Santa...

--

Written using Google Writely after several pints of Stella Artois.

* Sainsbury's has been used as the guideline for prices of bottled and canned product.
 

...less