Letter to an Animal

I have written this letter once this afternoon and it took absolutely ages. It felt as if it was torn out of me and had me weeping buckets. When I pressed the publish hey presto it vanished. So here we go again. I don't know if it will be as good but I shall keep saving so that I don't lose this one.

Since we got married nearly 34 years ago we have had five dogs all of which have been very special in such different ways. This is dedicated ...
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** LETTER TO SABIE BABIE AND TO LEO THE STAR ***********

Five or six years later I was only working part-time and Trev nights and out of the blue he said I think we should get another little dog.With him working nights it seemed a good idea .We discussed the inevitable which always comes with a pet and decided we would keep this in our minds and be prepared. Yeah , right.

So off we went to the RSPCA in ... more

I have written this letter once this afternoon and it took absolutely ages. It felt as if it was torn out of me and had me weeping buckets. When I pressed the publish hey presto it vanished. So here we go again. I don't know if it will be as good but I shall keep saving so that I don't lose this one.

Since we got married nearly 34 years ago we have had five dogs all of which have been very special in such different ways. This is dedicated to them all !

** LETTER TO DRUPI A SOUL MATE AND BENNY A NUTCASE*

We got married in December 1972 and in October 1973 we won a goldfish at a local fair. At that time you could win them as a darts prize. We took the small bag that held Dennis , our first pet, and rushed home to find him the largest bowl possible.I don't think you can win prizes like this now. I certainly hope not. They did not usually live long but Dennis lived donkeys years. We spent a small fortune on his abode with neccessary castle etc.

Christmas came around and in the new year we popped to the town to get another goldfish as a companion for Dennis. As we were going into the pet shop a young woman was talking to the assistant and she had a small brown puppy in her arms. It turned out this dog was an unwanted and unasked for christmas present. The young woman had three small children and was finding it difficult ot cope.

As we pretended to look at the fish we were both watching what was going on with the dog. The assistant took you from your owner and put you in the shop window. Something else that thankfully I don't think they do now.

We wandered over and asked to see the dog . I no way wanted a dog but Trev kept saying he wanted an alsation, and the thought of this terrified me. I had always been a bit scared of dogs , not nowadays though.

She reached into the window, got the dog out and sat it in my hands .This was my first meeting with you Drupi. You had the pinkest lips and nose and were a rich chocolate colour with a white chest. You were a cross labrador, about 12 weeks old. As you sat on my chest ,you nuzzled at my chin ,and I was a goner.

We paid the princely sum of £1-50 for you including lead and collar.Even in 1974 that was cheap! By the time we had left the shop you had cost a damn site more,what with a bed ,toys etc etc

As we left the shop you trotted alongside of us quite happily accepting the compliments and cuddles from passers by.When your little legs got tired we took it in turns to carry you.

We called you Drupi after an italian pop singer of the day.Husbands idea.The name suited you as when excited you would drool a liitle out of the side of your mouth where your lips drooped.But it was not a good name for calling out to you in the street.Silly but I can't remember what you were called previously.

What your previous owner had said was quite true and you were very clean .So much so you would walk for miles and rush through the house when home to pooh in our yard(giving me the treat of cleaning it up).When you first came to us she had said put paper and a tray down at night and you would be fine. You were but occasionally you stood with front paws in the tray and back legs out peeing anywhere and everywhere.But you tried.You never had any ill health till you were old.Your first summer with us we had an emergency dash to the vets as you had eaten an ant that had nipped you in your mouth.You looked as if you were eating ten gobstoppers. However an anti -histaminne shot soon put that right.

We had you just over a year. We used to lift you up and bathe you in the sink under the water heater tap.You loved it ! Recently I had picked you up and found that you had grown so much I couln't get you in.Funny what you don't notice?

That year when my mum died you kept an eye on me constantly. You knew something was wrong and I was upset. One day when I had gone to lay on the bed , for a weep, you quietly came up the stairs. You climbed on to the bed ,next to me, and laid with your head on my shoulder. No demands just watching with soulful eyes.

We all settled in to a peaceful life until you Benny arrived on the scene .

Trev arrived home one night from a friends with another little dog .Benny was a couple of years old and a stray they had took in.He had been causing mayhem and as they were going to "have him put down" my hubby had brought him home.What a lovely little dog and what a mistake!

We had you ten years Benny and you ate everything from doors to furniture to arcitrave to carpet.You name it you eat it!

You looked adoreable and a couple of young neices fell in love with you. They would say to thieir parents, let's go to Drupi and Benny's,we were just a sideline.

Now Drupi, you would let them dress you up in sunglasses and jumpers and mess you about no end, Benny you would sit there sweetly and draw them in for a cuddle. As soon as you had them you were growling and snarling but they still loved you to bits.

Your problem Benny , or should I say ours, was you should have been rehomed with an old dear , with no other pets who never went out , and nowadays you probably would be. At that time there weren't really any rescue charities other than the RSPCA. You liked to lay near the heating but we had to watch you. On more than one occasion ,you were so near we had to rush to you when we smelt scorching. You ended up with more ginger patches than you had started with.

When we fed you both we had to make sure your dishes didn't come into any contact or there would be an awful fight. Having said this when I finally couldn't cope with you anymore it was a hard decision - what to do? By now you were around 12 and a bit thin. I think your digestion had well and truly suffered from your eating habits. I knew we had tried our best but that there was no way you would improve and no way we could find you a good home. I took you to the RSPCA.

We travelled part of the way on bus ,you and I ,until your howling(normal for you on a bus) annoyed the driver so much I thought we better walk the last bit. As I spoke through my tears to the attendant I made them promise not to try to rehome you but to
put you to sleep. I would do it all different now but I was young then. I cried all the way home and for a good few days and in some ways I still have a special place in my heart for you Benny. The one that got away-our failure. If you were a person you would have been one with special needs. Maybe the damage was done before you got to us we'll never know now.

One of our big concerns was how much you would miss Benny, Drupi. The answer, not a jot. At the age of 12 you were given a new lease of life. You went back to puppyhood , raced round fields and had a ball. You were never let of your leads before as Benny would scoot. We would spend hours frantically looking for him and after giving up in tears would go home. Hours later he would turn up smelly after a night with the ladies.Neither of these dogs had been castrated. All our others have.

We moved house and you settled well but you were getting on a bit . You got deaf and would bark after someone had been to the door and already gone. You would curl up in the easy chair near the door where you were not allowed. We always new you did it but you used to jump of when you heard us coming home. Now I could be in looking at you and tickling your ears with my glove before you realised.

But you were still a good dog . No mess with you . Finally when you were getting on for eighteen you started having trouble with your back and hips. You would suddenly fall over or couldn't get up.

One night you finally put your head in my lap and looked at me as if to say look at me, what are you doing. Trev took you to the vet.. A friend drove you both in the car. He stayed with you till the very end and it nearly killed him.

As I saw him pass the window I knew. As he fell through the door the tears flooded .He found it particularly traumatic. You always feel such a betrayer. The vet had said he didn't think you would just slip away and that sooner or later we would have had to make that decision. We couldn't have done that to you. It would just have been selfish.

Trev said I can never do that again , I'll never have another dog.

But what is it they say, never say never again!

** LETTER TO SABIE BABIE AND TO LEO THE STAR ***********

Five or six years later I was only working part-time and Trev nights and out of the blue he said I think we should get another little dog.With him working nights it seemed a good idea .We discussed the inevitable which always comes with a pet and decided we would keep this in our minds and be prepared. Yeah , right.

So off we went to the RSPCA in search of a puppy. As soon as we arrived the receptionist said we've only got adult dogs at the moment. Trev wanted to leave it but I said we've come all this way we might as well have a look. I had never been right into the kennels at the RSPCA and it is a harrowing experience.The noise is deafening and you just want to take them all home.

We stopped at the first cage and read the notice, Saber, cross alsation 5 or 6 years old, brought in as owner could not afford to keep him. You were just sat a little way back in the cage very quiet looking a bit timid. I squatted down and spoke gently to you and you leant forward and licked my hand. You'd got me. We'll have this one I said. My husband was initially not so sure but i' m happy to say you proved him wrong. What a little treasure.

They let us have a quick trot round the field with you . I was aghast when I realised I could not take you straight home with me. I didn't want you there a moment longer.You had been in 2 weeks and apparently had been in a few times before.

Apparently you were called saber as one owner thought you'd grow into a big alsation. As soon as he realised you wouldn't you were out the door.

We have never changed any of our dogs names , apart from Drupi, as we feel they have enough to contend with but you did become sabie babie.

So a home visit was arranged for an inpector to check us out, our home etc etc .Sabie was to be castrated,microchipped and have some teeth out before he could come home to us. Poor you.

A couple of weeks later I finally arrived in taxi to pick you up.You laid next to me in the car with your head in my lap just looking up at me with those great big bushbaby eyes.

Trev was in bed as he was doing a night shift that night and when your saw his uniform on the coat stand you just sat and howled. What that was all about I'm still not quite sure but I guess someone had hurt you. Trev arose and introduced himself and you became firm buddies.

I had been ill at that time and you little fella helped me more than anything. Where-ever I went you went and boy did we have some fun. It got so that as soon as you saw me go to the coat stand you got there first and sat waiting for your lead.

The first sign of the health problems to come was some trouble with your back. It seemed as if you had been kicked and it had left some damage. We got that under control and then during a routine examination the vet said he thought you had cancer in one of your eyes.

We were booked into a specialist at Leeds. The vet provided us with transport but it cost £60. Off we went you and I full of apprehension. It was a long journey and you were really good. Having said that you got restless as all my bruises showed when we got home. You were fine travelling but just as we arrived you were violently sick in the car. The driver was brilliant thankfully. The vet put drops in your eyes to keep them still and then examined them with loads of instruments. I was so proud of you . You were such a good dog. If they found cancer you were going to be staying to have your eye removed but the news was good. Another £60 later we were on our way home to give Trev the good news.You still had cataracts coming , but no cancer.

We had a few more good years and then you needed loads of teeth out. The vet said it was the neglect from before we had you. I have never heard a dog cry so much and I never want to again. It took a while to get you over that but we built you up on pasta and rice. You loved it. All of a sudden your back and hips started having problems. You were put on strong daily medication and did not quite seem to know where you were.

Around this time we met a little dog called Leo at a local show. But as you were poorly Sabie we put that on hold.

We attended a local show where HDRS a local dog rescue service had a stall. Whilst my husband was reading the boardings with all the rescue dogs sad tales I had a chat to a lady called Val. She is the chairman of HDRS and Leo was sat with her. He came up to nearly my knee and was a white haired dog with black markings.This was hard to tell as he had no fur and was quite pink. He looked sort of stocky and I was told that was due to his medication. He looked like he was covered in a thin coat of cotton wool. He sat very good head going backwards and forwards taking note of everything. He was really very cute.

Chatting to Val she told me you Leo had been found one hot August day lying in the road at the ouskirts of our city flea riddled,bedraggled and dying. They had called you Leo like the signs of the zodiac. The struggle for names is difficult and they have beenn known to call 3 dogs toffee,fudge and muffin one particularly hungry night. A lady nearly ran over you in the road as she thought you were a bundle of rags. She swerved and got out to look at you. Now despite the fleas jumping on you , the fact her kids were with her and your foul smell she picked you up and put you on a blanket in the back of the car. You had been laid licking the melting tar in the hot sun trying to get a drink. Loads of drivers had passed but none had stopped.The only thing she had to give you was milk.This promptly made you sick but it kept you going.

HDRS was contacted and you were rushed to the vet. You appeared to have a stab wound to your leg, your eyes and ears were disgustingly filthy and you were starving to death. You were about a year or two old and weighed only 7 kilos.You were fostered between many homes and given the utmost attention. Pat sat on a night trying to soften your cardboard ears ith liquid paraffin baths. Before this when you were first taken to the vets you had to be handled very gently. You had all your fur ,i f you could call it that removed. At one time they thought they would have to remove your tail as you had no feeling in it. But it did recover and wags constantly these days. It was a slow process but gradually you came back to life.

You would sit in the front of the rescue van, travel round with Val, had your story in some local papers (unbeknown to me) and became a little local star.

We took a phone number and said we would get in touch.You would not be ready for rehoming for a couple of weeks.Sabie proceeded to get more poorly so it went out of our heads. A couple of months later I thought I'd give Val a call just to get an update on Leo's new home only to find you were still in rescue.

We weren't sure if the time was right but we arranged for you, Leo to come for a visit. You and Val adored each other and I know she would have liked to adopt you but she had five dogs already. You and Saber got on like a house on fire . Although you were young and rowdy you were very gentle with him. You kept an eye on the window all afternoon for Val's white van and I knew you were missing her.

You came the next weekend , for a weekend and you and sabie got on fabulously. You met the neighbours and one said to Val on her return "that dogs going nowhere". As soon as she came in she knew and made a subtle exit to have a good cry in the van ,as she knew she would miss you.

She had brought us a cage as she wasn't sure whether or not you would behave. We had never had a dog in a cage before but you were used to it. On your first night we settled you down and said goodnight. Trev carried Saber upstairs as he could not climb them anymore.

As I came down in the morning I heard the steady beat of your tail drumming against the door. I popped my head round the door in time to see you having a good stretch.

You settled in so well and were such a loving little dog. You had the run of the house from then on and you've never let me down. At the beginning we had to have our security light at the back of the house on all night. You were terrified of the dark and avoided the back garden at all costs. You were frightened of men and especially lads in baseball caps or motorbike helmets. Noisy traffic freaked you out. All our rescueies have been scared of men. All this speaks volumes. Mind you all of you were never frightened of Trev.

When you had been with us about four months it was time for Sabies departure. He just looked so lost.You would go the garden Sabie wander around and then come in and have a wee. You had no idea where you were. We were being cruel and selfish keeping you. You could not have a walk as you weren't strong enough . Having said that when we saw the vet later he said he thought you could have gone on longer. But I know you couldn't. Anyway we made an appointment through the tears and really tried to spoil you for the next few days -your last. You were so frail now Sabie.

We took you on the bus and my only regret is, as it was not our usual vet, she asked what had been going on. By the time we had told her we were so upest that you sensed all was not well and started to tremble . She agreed with our decision and Trev lifted you on the table.She gave you the injection and it was very quick .As you went we both gave you a kiss and I said goodbye it's been nice knowing you , and it really had.

Coming home having Leo to care for really helped. When we got home you, Leo hid under the table on and off for a few days as you couldn't understand where Sabie had gone ( or maybe you could!)

After we had had you , Leo ,about a year I thought it would be good for you to have a little friend. You had loved being spoilt and had gained weight to such an extent the vet was now telling me off. You had become a cuddly 17 kilos.

We asked Val if she had any dogs in at the moment and she said only Jessie. We agreed to take her on a foster basis with a view to adoption,

She came for a visit. Enter the dog from Hell.

*** LETTER TO JESSIE PEST *************************************

You came for a visit and as I saw Val trying to control you on a lead i knew you would not be easy. You came in and you and Leo tore round the house like demons but seemed to get on. You came to live with us and we were told your story.

You were only 9 monthe old and had been living with a couple who had a violent relationship. When they fought everything got thrown out of the window including you. They play fought so hard with you, that if anyone came near you to stroke you , you thought they were going to hit you. You would try and bite them before they got you. They had finally moved and had left you tied up in the garden. It was a while before anyone found you. When they did you were starving. You had the remains of the cigarette burns that they had inflicted on you. They were on your legs and face. I used to bathe them with a scrub from the vets when you were first with us . Not easy as you did not like contact.

My reservations were that you would be like Benny and upset Leo greatly. He had been through enough without me inflicting more trauma on him. On this score I need not have worried.

We have had our problems with you but you have always adored Leo. You might be like Little Britain ( I want that one ) and always want Leo's toys but you are a proper mr and mrs.

First off you fouled every night as your tummy took ages to settle down.You ate a door mat, the corner of a leather stool and a vacuum cleaner plug and lead. You would snap at any hand that came to stroke you and jump wildly at anyone. I cooked rice with fresh garlic for weeks as it settled yours and Leo's digestion problems and helped stave off any more insect bites. The house smelt like an Indian take-away shop.

But when I see you curled up with Leo I know we made the right choice and we're getting there. Where-ever he lays you follow. You tuck yourself in behind him, rest your head on him and use him as a pillow , and there you both stay. As contented as pussycats.

We have had you 2 years this Dec 2006 Jess pest , on a temporary basis , and you can rest assured you aint going nowhere - like it or not .

To them all , darlings in such different ways, bless you. Next time a dog snaps a bit think on , and next time someone loses a beloved pet don't dismiss it lighlty.

I hope our next loss is light years away but it will no doubt come around quicker than it should. But if you love 'em it's part of it and when the decision has to be made you them that .

Thanks for reading...........(if you made it to the end).........x x

I have more of my doggies photos at "httpp://www.myspace.com/eileenker" if your interested

PS our furthest expedition with Leo and Jessie , so far , has been on train to the seaside and they loved it .From the bus journey across town ,to the train journey , to the swimming in the sea and the frisbee chasing on the beach. We had a ball , all four of us. 

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