Life is not an essay on philosophy, although that can help - life is not a series of self-help books entitled "Shut the F*** Up! - Next!"
Life is series of single stories and together we see we are one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively through billions of individual eyes. Here ... Read review
Advantages: It is Life, Jim Disadvantages: but not as we know it
Life is not an essay on philosophy, although that can help - life is not a series of self-help books entitled "Shut the F*** Up! - Next!"
Life is series of single stories and together we see we are one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively through billions of individual eyes. Here is my story and the point is that stuff happens sometimes good and sometimes bad - the question is, "What are you going to do with ... ...WANTED WAS A SHOWER.......................
In the great city of London in all its 6 zones, I wouldn't have thought that taking a shower would be particularly difficult, but apparently, for some people who don't carry their own with them it seems London is full of traps to catch the unwary and the dirty.
After finishing my football game in Kew we were told that the clubhouse had burnt down the week before and so there ... more
Life is not an essay on philosophy, although that can help - life is not a series of self-help books entitled "Shut the F*** Up! - Next!"
Life is series of single stories and together we see we are one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively through billions of individual eyes. Here is my story and the point is that stuff happens sometimes good and sometimes bad - the question is, "What are you going to do with it."
In the great city of London in all its 6 zones, I wouldn't have thought that taking a shower would be particularly difficult, but apparently, for some people who don't carry their own with them it seems London is full of traps to catch the unwary and the dirty.
After finishing my football game in Kew we were told that the clubhouse had burnt down the week before and so there were no showers... Not a good start to the afternoon considering I had to go out in the evening and I wasn't going home first....
No matter I thought I can go at our own ground as the captain was driving back to Chiswick anyway. We arrive at Chiswick and the hot water in our own showers was broken......
This is sounding like quite a dull story, but I promise it gets better.................
No matter I thought why take a cold shower here, when I can go to Waterloo station and take a nice hot £3 shower there.
So I went from Chiswick to Waterloo and went to the showers which (and I never noticed this before) are only for "ladies". I tried desperately to do my impersonation of David Walliams in Little Britain, "But I am a laideeee." but it was no use.
No matter I thought I can go to Victoria that is on my way to Mayfair anyway I can get just as hot a shower for £3 there instead - everything is fine...........
So I went from Waterloo to Victoria and arrived at the station just in time to see a group of workmen closing the showers and toilets. They told me "sorry, mate - we are refurbishing them from today, bad luck."
Bad Luck!!! You don't know the half of it - and later it turned out neither did I, but anyway I thought I am in Victoria the home of hotels........
No matter The Thistle hotel is next door - I can go there and everything will be fine.
So I did and I asked to pay for a shower and they said, "Of course you can, but it will cost you a day's rate on the room." I foolishly asked, "Oh OK, how much will that be I will pay anything."
As their eyes lit up I realised I had no idea how much "Anything" would be.
Just so as you all know "Anything" means £60 (plus a free tea and biscuits)
Even though I figured this would be about the cost of a vodka and coke later I turned it down thinking.................
No matter, there are plenty of hotels in the hotel city of Victoria, I will go round the corner....... and as the words of the Dr. Pepper advert went through my mind ("What is the worst that can happen?") I set off to find a cheaper place.
For this next bit, please try to assess in your own minds at which point you would have left the following hotel - I hope I got it right!!!
Just outside the station I found a hotel and went in - there was a man in what can only be described as a Rab C Nesbitt string vest I asked him if I could pay for a shower giving him a brief story of woe like above.
He said in a foreign accent, "errr... errr. You want a room for a bit."
"Yes I said, "For a shower maybe half and hour to an hour."
"Ah" he said, "You want room for hour! - Ah yes for hour! Yes, Yes - £20"
"OK" I said and began filling in the form.
He moved nearer me and said, "You want assistance?" and then he started winking a "nudge, nudge, wink, wink - know-what-I-mean" kind of winking at me.
"No" I said, the form is pretty simple."
"No!" he said and laughed, "I have people to help - football guy - massage!"
I looked up from the form, took a breath and tore up the form - "You know - "I'm good actually - thank you anyway."
I made to leave and the manager said, "You need quick shower - No it's OK, I can get people out quicker - they can finish early in rooms."
At that point I think I said something, "For f**** sake." and then left shuddering at the thought of "preoccupied" people being rushed out of their rooms by Rab C Nesbitt just to let me in quicker.
No matter I thought - I'll just get changed in Green Park public toilets - they are genuinely very nice and it's on my way to Mayfair from Victoria. Everything should be fine.
And everything went very well except for the fact that an elderly gentleman in the cubicle next to me in Green Park toilets asked if I was OK as I had taken some time coming out.
I told him I was getting changed after a football game and I was fine, and he said, and I kid you not - "You should take a shower - you can't go out without a shower. You'll never impress a lady that way."
I've just heard on Capital Radio that they have just found the body floating towards Buckingham Palace.
Moan too much - and one day you will never be able to be happy
Detach yourself too often - and you will never love ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the words of "The Littlest Hobo"
"There's a place - that keeps on calling me - down the road - that's where I'll always be. At every stop I make - I make a new friend - can't stay for long - just turn around and I'm gone again.
Maybe, tomorrow, I'll wanna settle down, but until tomorrow I'll just keep moving on."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Perhaps we all need to define ourselves with famous last words just before we die - I think I will choose, "Where to now?"
And on my headstone I shall have inscribed the words, "R.I.P. Andrew. For details please see the other side."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Whatever LIFE is - welcome to it and may we all enjoy it whether it has any point or not. Until told otherwise I shall create my own purpose for this life is mine.
Advantages: true for most of us Disadvantages: true for most of us !
Get up early , kids to school , forgot the gym kit .. What a fool !
Post some letters , buy some bread ,
take it home , then make the bed
Dust and polish ( skip a bit ) , Make a coffee , have a sit
Do the garden , pull the weeds , cut the grass and plant the seeds
Do the washing , hang it out , Time for lunch ? Just about !
Make a sandwich ( ham and cheese ) spray the cats ( in case of fleas )
Feed the dog , have a pee , clean the floor , ... ...) will they notice where I've been ?
Empty bins , hoover round , cut out coupons ( save a pound ! )
Make a phone call , pay some bills , got a headache ( take some pills )
That feels better ! ( take some more ) wake up lying on the floor
Have a coffee ? ( do me good ) Take a shower ? ( really should )
Fetch the kids home , serve their tea , ( do they even notice me ? )
Sort the papers , throw them out , time for bed ? Without a doubt
Watch ...
Janej47 25.09.2005
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Life, It's The Name Of The Game
...you do certain things in life, then you will go to heaven. Or hell. In all likelyhood these things will serve their purposes. In other words, it seems to me that certain people WANT you to do certain things, and your reward, according to them, will be to go to heaven. Now I don't want to get too deeply into this. But my point is that a lot of things that we may or may not believe in, seem to be regulated by OTHER PEOPLE, rather than ourselves. What ... ...or what is best in life, or what others should do. People are entitled to make up their own minds. Whoever they may be. Just because YOU think that everybody should be educated doesn't make it so. If education is so great then it seems to me young people would choose it anyway. It's called democracy. That's how it works. The problem is us 'grownups' rather like being able to tell other people what to do. And seeing as we have the power, we're not ...
simcox1 21.07.2005 (22.07.2005)
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: helpful Review of Life, It's The Name Of The Game
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