Limmericks

Personally, I blame Iain (Soho Black) rather than Emma (Dakota 196) for this one. Or maybe Sue Magee. Okay, Emma issued the original challenge, but I was steadfastly set to resist it, until I read Iain's response. Mostly, his answers were both true and entertaining, but we all go off the rails from time to time, and his derailment on this occasion was to suggest that I should complete the challenge, as being "possibly the only person on Ciao who could take this on and write all his answers in verse without making a mess of it". In point of fact, I am far from the only Ciaoist to inflict my ... more

I do not claim these as my own. They are not. They are just some limericks that I thought may brighten up the day of a reader. The first ones are mine : if you want to join in, just leave your ciao name in my guestbook and I shall gladly limmerick you. They are just for fun. ---- To Evil irish Twin. Marian is a girl that likes men, She said it quite often and then Went on to describe, How these men she'd embibe Johny Depp made a feature again ! To Salem Witch Salem witch has a streak that is cruel, Thinking Royals are really not cool, She drinks like a porkie From a mug free with Yorkie, And ... more

I once had a friend named Martini Who wore on his head a pink beany On his feet were his shoes And in many bright hues Were the laces he ran in betweeny Our Martini was blessed with a chin That was square, finely chiselled and thin ly layered with hair As if a wombat lived there But all we ever saw, was a grin Now Martini has talented toes Because they twinkle wherever he goes And when music's around They fair twitch at the sound and then stiffen in a bewitching pose Although famous for unsettling grace Our Martini also had a nice face On which sat cute young girls 18+, pigtails, curls Just as ... more

There once was a father of ten Who wouldn't approve of a hen, A rooster or chick, TV or a flick; So what were we left to do then? There once was a lady of fifty Who thought it would be very nifty To travel in France For a song and a dance With a chance to be merry and thrifty. There was a young lady of two Who thought she could tie her own shoe When push came to shove It required some love For her mother to show what to do. There once were some twins who were nine Who thought it was good for the spine To do backward flips On a surface that tips And their hips would be perfectly fine. There ... more

The following are all based on real people (and sometimes real events) of a crazy group I used to work with at the Royal Orthopaedic Hospital in Birmingham. Search for deeper meaning if you will... but you'd be better off saving yourself the trouble, it's not there. There was once a young woman called Jayne Who was innocent and almost sane She got kissed on the neck It was only a peck But she was never the same again There once was a woman called Eileen Who had a tendency to be mean She would have a good laugh When unfortunate staff Fell foul of the ugly and unclean There was once an old woman ... more