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Limericks are for fun .
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I do not claim these as my own. They are not. They are just some limericks that I thought may brighten up the day of a reader. The first ones are mine :
To Evil irish Twin.
To Salem Witch
Silver40' tells of paths that he's tread,Doesn't make resolutions, its said,And when asked of a birth,He replied with some mirth,That there's room just for two in his bed !
K8 was just wishing it seems,For Santa, his presents were dreams,Like a lottery gain,And to eat without pain,Of falling apart at the seams.
Kingseany asked for a limerick to Asparagus Soup
I cannot write honest critique,Cos quite frankly, I would prefer leek,Or tomato, or vegWith a huge white bread wedge,And it's waiting for me as I speak
To Hot Babes
Ailran has a passion for lips,And girls with nice childbearing hips,But what gives him awayIs his challenge, but hey !He can't help liking girls that have zips
Theres a lady that wants to lose weight,But without any pressure, or date,She knows cones that give birth,And that add to her mirth,And sees ironing piles as her fate !
To Minha. I am surprised I missed this lady's poetry, and it is really under-read and under rated. It scans beautifully. This is my limmerick for her.
Emma has just asked for a limmerick and she was guilty of making me almost wet myself today so I have to pay her back for that.
Well I thought and was really frustrated,I had read. understood and had rated.how could she inflictOn her dog, was she strict ?For I thought it was being castrated.
There was a young woman on Ciao,Who thought that she didn't know howTo write a review,So instead she wrote two,Or as many as time would allow !
Coooeee asked for this one.
I'm concerned cos Fiona she playsAll the games she can find, passing dayslost in arcades which fillAll her moments at willIt's like time warp, she's lost in a maze
Keith has his own morals, it's scarey,We find oodles of fun, he's no fairy,But beware when he wanks,For you'll give him no thanks,When he comes on a person that's hairy !
Keith's critical eye cast aside,I wrote ops and I really had tried,To explain to my fansThe do's and the can'sAnd his rating made dents in my pride.
I was asked today to do these three limmericks. Hope they like them.
Scarlet Ribbons, invited for lunch,Would be thoroughly sick and would hunchOver liver and rabbit,And squid's a bad habit,And snickers, not tempted to munch.
Story Weaver's a humorous ciaoer,Go read him if you've got an hour,He thinks housewives are lazy,His op on it's crazy,And his stories are worth a good scour.
Here's a wordsmith I've known for a while,And he knows how to please and beguile,His dot is bright yellow,An affable fellow,With a cute little naughty boy smile
Here's a lady that's blonde with imbition,I like reading her latest edition,She learns French from cassette,And can't sing yet, I bet,And is awed by good cookings nutritiion
Here's a person who writes in large spurts,She's a super girl and never flirts,But she reads and she rates,And joins in the debates,Though it seems Ciao have stopped her alerts !
Emmaclaire at a party was rude,And she didn't let morals intrude,With an audience there,Quite alert on her chair,She climaxed whilst not in the nude.
Wiggggleypufff has got little that's hid,And her ops tell of things that she did,In her three years on Ciao,And still writes on here now,She has tattoos called Boris and Sid !
The scandals I read are not crude,But we love reading stuff that is rude,And this writer admitsLittle onorous bitsAnd I know that she sleeps in the nude !
Corinne has been here from July,And will point you to nice things to buy,She can't write at the moCos her thinking is slow,But she'll read and she'll rate and she'll try.
Christina's a person that's true,And reveals all her secrets to you,In a challenge she wroteThough this isn't a quote,She does things in the bath that are blue !!
Here's a good looking Ciaoer, and wow,I want some of this, want it now,Okay he's verbose,But when you get close,Words don't get in the way anyhow !!
To Nicolaraynis who is a green dot and asked me for a limerick.
Our Kappa's a teaser, the tops,And in teasing, pulls out all the stops.Hurling words in her way,There is many a dayWhen she writes about sex in her ops.
Named after coproximal without the cool. (he states)
This Scot will take no hanky panky,He's a big boy, he's tall and he's lankyFor a pressie he hates,In his own words he statesThe worst gift you could give him's a hanky !-------
Our Pumpkin's a lass who's not vain,Though she's reason to be that is plain !But I read her renditionAnd you know her ambition ?To jump from a very high Plane !!
Mikes a Ciaoer, a new one, and gladHe gets products from his mum and dad,They sell technical gearAnd he writes it on here,Which is great for this lucky new lad.
Magicloudz is my subject tonightMay the candles of friendship burn bright,He's so honest and trueTo his personal viewAnd he says that my writing is shite.
No matter how how heavy the weather,Or if life is as light as a feather,She's a friend that is superAnd no party pooper,I know I can trust in our Heather.
Our Daphne's a deep shade of blue,And has written a little review,About things that annoyed herAnd how folks avoid herEmbarrassing moments she knew.
A Ciaoer, whose first name is Lisa,The same age as me, that'll please her,Has cats that leave tracesIn all kinds of places,And likes chatting to people who tease her.
Well Shirley, she's more than a snog,Found her prince whilst out kissing a frog,She's no photo onsite,But I know she's alright,And has just given birth to a sprog !
Louise is a bronze and what's more,She has written reviews by the score,But her morals, well geeWhen invited for tea,You'd eat chicken that's been on the floor !
Our Fiona is great, on a mission,to find people for each competition,If you go take a lookShes in everyone's book,But you'll have to excuse her condition !
There was a young lady from Ealing,Who's thoughts were a little revealing,She would fart in the airAnd she never did careThat it made nasty stains on the ceiling.
Now what can I say about Stu,He's a character give him his due,Rough edges but nice,All topped off with spice,He's my friend, and I'm glad he is too !
Me and him well we rarely agree,and we argue intelligently,He has views that are strong,And its not that he's wrong,But he brings out the demon in me.
Corrected by this little lass,I'm mistaken and thought I would passInformation that's new,She's confirmed this one too,That she's not got tattoos on her ass !
To Yummy and Beunos
(Tongue in cheek. I assure you)
He's a Saab and he thought it was goodTo make love on the bit called the hood,Leaving dents as they wentTil the moment was spent,And he'd put it all right if he could.
Well here we've a blonde, with a spark,But admittedly all in the dark,For the name implies two,And I can't speak for you,But its time that us ciaoers saw Mark !
'cross the border to Scotland, its foreign,And old groovee is snug in her warren,Her old mans got a hump,Its as tasty as rump,And he keeps it hid under his sporran.
JessL isn't silly or flirtyAnd she doesn't write ops that are dirtyThere are things that she knows,But she'll learn as she grows,And says "Ask me again when I'm thirty !!"
Snoopdoggy is new to my C.O.T.He's a guy that I talk to a lot,From the sunshine of Spain,Ciao has addled his brain,And I'm glad for the friendship we've got.
To Lancashire Angel.
Someone asked me to write about me.
(tongue in cheek honestly)
Our Carmens a poor sorry tale,And her symptoms are making her ail,She's cantagious right now,And you may ask me how,Well she caught something opening mail !
A newbie, and so I will try,To describe this sweet regular guy,Who's past forty, derangedWished his life could be changedBut he's nice, if you read you'll see why.
There was a young lady from Leith, Who would circumcise men with her teeth, It wasn't for fame, Or love of the gameBut to get at the cheese underneath.
A kinky young girl from Bexhill, Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill, They found her vagina, in North Carolina, and bits of her tits in Brazil.
There was a young girl called Molly, who fancied a bit in a quarry. She laid on her back, and opened her crack. And the bastard backed in with a lorry
There was a young plumber from Lee, who was plumbing his girl with great glee, she said stop your plumbing,I think someone's coming, said the plumber still plumbing "its me"!
There was a young actress from Crewe, Who remarked as the vicar withdrew, The Bishop was quicker, and thicker and slicker, And two inches longer than you. --------
A young engineer name of PaulWas equipped with an octagonal ballThe square of his weightTimes his pecker, plus eightIs his phone number, give him a call---------
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pgn0 20.09.2013 18:51
None is me, I'm glad to see.
Newboy3 20.03.2007 17:37
Great fun :o) ...not a good idea to read them while drinking hot coffee ...Tony
foxy19 07.11.2005 17:37
very funny and it does brighten up your day lots many thanks for making me laugh.
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