I do not claim these as my own. They are not. They are just some limericks that I thought may brighten up the day of a reader. The first ones are mine :
if you want to join in, just leave your ciao name in my guestbook and I shall gladly limmerick you. They are just for fun.
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To Evil irish Twin.
Marian is a girl that likes men,
She said it quite often and then
Went on to describe,
How these men she'd embibe
Johny Depp made a feature again !
To Salem Witch
Salem witch has a streak that is cruel,
Thinking Royals are really not cool,
She drinks like a porkie
From a mug free with Yorkie,
And describes what she's drinking as "Fuel"Silver 40 XX
Silver40' tells of paths that he's tread,
Doesn't make resolutions, its said,
And when asked of a birth,
He replied with some mirth,
That there's room just for two in his bed !
K8lloyd
K8 was just wishing it seems,
For Santa, his presents were dreams,
Like a lottery gain,
And to eat without pain,
Of falling apart at the seams.
For Kingseany
Kingseany asked for a limerick to Asparagus Soup
I was stuck in a literal loop,
And couldn't jump over that hoop,
What was there to say,
That would brighten his day
On the subject - asparagus soup ?
I cannot write honest critique,
Cos quite frankly, I would prefer leek,
Or tomato, or veg
With a huge white bread wedge,
And it's waiting for me as I speak
For MUFCBoi
This man is a distancing kind,
And thinks distance is all in the mind,
Fell in love from afar,
And she's his guiding star,
And their lives are forever entwined.
Lizzi8
Lizzie8 is a part of ciao's team,
Of writers, or so it would seem,
Who writes café reviews,
And the latest of news
Is triumphant, she's found self esteem
To Hot Babes
Hot Babes swears she's blue but she's not
She's purple, has written a lot,
She likes Ciao and the money,
5p !!! that's quite funny,
But its all that her first review got !To Ailran
Ailran has a passion for lips,
And girls with nice childbearing hips,
But what gives him away
Is his challenge, but hey !
He can't help liking girls that have zips
To MHam
Theres a lady that wants to lose weight,
But without any pressure, or date,
She knows cones that give birth,
And that add to her mirth,
And sees ironing piles as her fate !
To Minha. I am surprised I missed this lady's poetry, and it is really under-read and under rated. It scans beautifully. This is my limmerick for her.
This lady's a poet indeed,
And if you stop by for a read,
There are poems well written,
I admit, I am smitten
And this poetry stemmed from a seed
Emma has just asked for a limmerick and she was guilty of making me almost wet myself today so I have to pay her back for that.
Two messages, misunderstood,
One bad, one that really was good,
'bout a dog and a bunny,
It was really not funny
And messed with my day and my mood
Well I thought and was really frustrated,
I had read. understood and had rated.
how could she inflict
On her dog, was she strict ?
For I thought it was being castrated.
With pets it is never the money
Nor the time, and what made it so funny,
Cos the rabbits a he
and the dog is a she,
And I'd misplaced the dog with the bunny !!!!
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A young girl that's fun, and that's new,
Asked if she could be limmericked too,
Well I like this young poet,
And wouldn't you know it,
Anxiety's name's Rachel too !!!
There was a young woman on Ciao,
Who thought that she didn't know how
To write a review,
So instead she wrote two,
Or as many as time would allow !
A reviewer is just a reviewer,
And some may be old, some be newer,
But we all write our part,
Be it bland or an art,
And I'm told they have not found a cure.
Coooeee asked for this one.
Blobbyqueen was amongst the first friends,
That I made on the site, though time bends
and distorts what you see,
She is now a Coooooeee
You can't keep up with all of these trends.
I'm concerned cos Fiona she plays
All the games she can find, passing days
lost in arcades which fill
All her moments at will
It's like time warp, she's lost in a maze
Carly Pussycat
Carly Pussycat's words do athletics
Describing in words aesthetics,
Of lip gloss and places
That chaff on our faces
Corrected by choice of cosmetics.
To Alkaliguru
This is tongue in cheek and was written following reading his Moral Dilemma Review.
Keith has his own morals, it's scarey,
We find oodles of fun, he's no fairy,
But beware when he wanks,
For you'll give him no thanks,
When he comes on a person that's hairy !
To understand this one, you have to read the review !!
Keith's critical eye cast aside,
I wrote ops and I really had tried,
To explain to my fans
The do's and the can's
And his rating made dents in my pride.
(Ha ! this is just fun - don't take it seriously - I am not a serious person.
I was asked today to do these three limmericks. Hope they like them.
Scarlet Ribbons, invited for lunch,
Would be thoroughly sick and would hunch
Over liver and rabbit,
And squid's a bad habit,
And snickers, not tempted to munch.
Docpov's got a thing for his spot,
It's changed colour, he likes it a lot,
It's gone purple, whoopee,
And writes passionately,
About life, and the products he's got.
Story Weaver's a humorous ciaoer,
Go read him if you've got an hour,
He thinks housewives are lazy,
His op on it's crazy,
And his stories are worth a good scour.
To Torr
Here's a wordsmith I've known for a while,
And he knows how to please and beguile,
His dot is bright yellow,
An affable fellow,
With a cute little naughty boy smile
To Jmckitterick
Here's a lady that's blonde with imbition,
I like reading her latest edition,
She learns French from cassette,
And can't sing yet, I bet,
And is awed by good cookings nutritiion
To Jojojobie
Here's a person who writes in large spurts,
She's a super girl and never flirts,
But she reads and she rates,
And joins in the debates,
Though it seems Ciao have stopped her alerts !
To Pridham123
Here's a newbie whose white clock is tickin,
And whose fingers need more than a lickin,
Lewis writes his reviews
On the things that he'd chose,
And enjoys his Kentucky Fried Chicken !To Emmaclaire.
Emmaclaire at a party was rude,
And she didn't let morals intrude,
With an audience there,
Quite alert on her chair,
She climaxed whilst not in the nude.
To Wigggglypuff
Wiggggleypufff has got little that's hid,
And her ops tell of things that she did,
In her three years on Ciao,
And still writes on here now,
She has tattoos called Boris and Sid !
To Teacherofhooch
The scandals I read are not crude,
But we love reading stuff that is rude,
And this writer admits
Little onorous bits
And I know that she sleeps in the nude !
To Tiggerishone
Corinne has been here from July,
And will point you to nice things to buy,
She can't write at the mo
Cos her thinking is slow,
But she'll read and she'll rate and she'll try.
To Fantasybeliever.
Christina's a person that's true,
And reveals all her secrets to you,
In a challenge she wrote
Though this isn't a quote,
She does things in the bath that are blue !!
To 29th Candidate with love
Here's a good looking Ciaoer, and wow,
I want some of this, want it now,
Okay he's verbose,
But when you get close,
Words don't get in the way anyhow !!
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To Nicolaraynis who is a green dot and asked me for a limerick.
Nicola is quite new to the site,
Dislikes Dooyoo, I think that's alright,
She's from Norwich its true,
Has a neopet too,
And I hope that her pet doesn't bite !
To Lil_Miss_Pink
Pink's the colour, of that I've no doubt,
Its a girl with a sister no doubt,
Though its no smoking day,
She's had three !! I should say
That its time to put cigarettes out !!!!
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To Kappaslappa
Our Kappa's a teaser, the tops,
And in teasing, pulls out all the stops.
Hurling words in her way,
There is many a day
When she writes about sex in her ops.
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To Jackiechan
Jackiechan is a little blue dot,
And his ops, well he's written a lot,
About chocolates and sweets,
And the nice stuff he eats,
And the kind of connection he's got.
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To Proxam
Named after coproximal without the cool. (he states)
Now what can I say about Drew ?
He's a man with a strong point of view,
He's nobody's fool
And I think he is cool,
And his "all about me" is good tooTo Narzie
This Scot will take no hanky panky,
He's a big boy, he's tall and he's lanky
For a pressie he hates,
In his own words he states
The worst gift you could give him's a hanky !
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To Pumpkin
Our Pumpkin's a lass who's not vain,
Though she's reason to be that is plain !
But I read her rendition
And you know her ambition ?
To jump from a very high Plane !!
Mike_Kular
Mikes a Ciaoer, a new one, and glad
He gets products from his mum and dad,
They sell technical gear
And he writes it on here,
Which is great for this lucky new lad.
To magicloudz
Magicloudz is my subject tonight
May the candles of friendship burn bright,
He's so honest and true
To his personal view
And he says that my writing is shite.
To Herby30
No matter how how heavy the weather,
Or if life is as light as a feather,
She's a friend that is super
And no party pooper,
I know I can trust in our Heather.
To Hotcritic
Our Daphne's a deep shade of blue,
And has written a little review,
About things that annoyed her
And how folks avoid her
Embarrassing moments she knew.
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To Stacieish
Our Stacieish stands on her head
And writes all about condoms instead
Of the topics mundane,
She would addle the brain
Of her neighbours with drums when in bed !
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To experter1
A Ciaoer, whose first name is Lisa,
The same age as me, that'll please her,
Has cats that leave traces
In all kinds of places,
And likes chatting to people who tease her.
To Harryslarry
Well Shirley, she's more than a snog,
Found her prince whilst out kissing a frog,
She's no photo onsite,
But I know she's alright,
And has just given birth to a sprog !
To Louise90
Louise is a bronze and what's more,
She has written reviews by the score,
But her morals, well gee
When invited for tea,
You'd eat chicken that's been on the floor !
To Blobbyqueen
Our Fiona is great, on a mission,
to find people for each competition,
If you go take a look
Shes in everyone's book,
But you'll have to excuse her condition !
Weenawoo has challenged me to write one about a young lady from Ealing.
There was a young lady from Ealing,
Who's thoughts were a little revealing,
She would fart in the air
And she never did care
That it made nasty stains on the ceiling.
To Stuleg.
Now what can I say about Stu,
He's a character give him his due,
Rough edges but nice,
All topped off with spice,
He's my friend, and I'm glad he is too !
Milleniumzeus
Me and him well we rarely agree,
and we argue intelligently,
He has views that are strong,
And its not that he's wrong,
But he brings out the demon in me.
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To Miss_Motivator
A Middlesbrough Lass, who knows beauty,
Uses products galore as a duty,
And she has some tatoos,
Though who knows what she'd chose,
But the one on her bum is a cuty !
Corrected by this little lass,
I'm mistaken and thought I would pass
Information that's new,
She's confirmed this one too,
That she's not got tattoos on her ass !
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To Yummy and Beunos
Now Yummy and Beunos aren't wed
But it seems that they both went to bed,
And she's preggers it seems
Though its just in his dreams,
Or perhaps it was her dream instead !!!
(Tongue in cheek. I assure you)
And another to these two ciaoers.
He's a Saab and he thought it was good
To make love on the bit called the hood,
Leaving dents as they went
Til the moment was spent,
And he'd put it all right if he could.
The garage looked on with a sigh,
Each mechanical was wondering why
The Saab was so battered
For something that mattered,
To a man who is basically shy !
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JillMurphy, endeared by the site,
Set a challenge between wrong and right,
Tests the morals of those,
Who simply suppose,
That their answers will be a delight.
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To ChrisandMarkUK
Well here we've a blonde, with a spark,
But admittedly all in the dark,
For the name implies two,
And I can't speak for you,
But its time that us ciaoers saw Mark !
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To Marandina
Marandina has taken the soap,
And has added some flair, and some scope
Added Ciao people's ways
And set Ciao soap ablaze,
I hope the next writer can cope !!!
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To Groovee
'cross the border to Scotland, its foreign,
And old groovee is snug in her warren,
Her old mans got a hump,
Its as tasty as rump,
And he keeps it hid under his sporran.
To JessL
JessL isn't silly or flirty
And she doesn't write ops that are dirty
There are things that she knows,
But she'll learn as she grows,
And says "Ask me again when I'm thirty !!"
Good grief Jess. I am over 50 and I don't know the answers !!!
To Susan1967
Susan's multiple, what's there to lose ?
Or at any rate uses this ruse,
And her head's hurting badly,
A hangover, sadly
For she's just been to York on the booze.
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To Sirg0508
Young Debbie from Scotland revealed,
Though I promised to keep my lips sealed,
She likes Eva who sings,
And all kinds of neat things,
And revealed she had sex in a field !!!#
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For Snoopdoggy
Snoopdoggy is new to my C.O.T.
He's a guy that I talk to a lot,
From the sunshine of Spain,
Ciao has addled his brain,
And I'm glad for the friendship we've got.
------
To Lancashire Angel.
Poor Sharron it seems she is whacked,
From a life that's exceedingly packed
With climbing and stuff
And if that's not enough,
She's a treasure and that is a fact !
.
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To Tange
Tange is buxom and blonde and I fear,
Doesn't write many challenges here,
But if you want rates,
Then her price comes in crates,
And is easy, just buy her a beer !!!
To Wearsidelass.
She's a giggle a minute to some,
Doing challenges, though they are rum
But revealing such things,
As the way that the strings
On her G-string stick right up her bum !!
To Mattroberts.
Matts a softy I like him a lot,
For the warmth and the humour he's got,
He likes music a like me,
And he watches TV
And he'll always be safe in my COT
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Someone asked me to write about me.
I have been here since August at Ciao,
And some call me a silly old cow,
And maybe they're right,
But be careful, I BITE
And I nibble if time will allow !!!
Badger Boy
Badger Boy is a Ciaoer that thinks,
Life revolves round the odour of Lynx,
Its a boys thing, you see,
And does nothing for me,
And I think that all aftershave stinks !!
(tongue in cheek honestly)
Whoopidoo
Our Carmens a poor sorry tale,
And her symptoms are making her ail,
She's cantagious right now,
And you may ask me how,
Well she caught something opening mail !
Mark Southside.
A newbie, and so I will try,
To describe this sweet regular guy,
Who's past forty, deranged
Wished his life could be changed
But he's nice, if you read you'll see why.
There was a young lady from Leith,
Who would circumcise men with her teeth,
It wasn't for fame, Or love of the game
But to get at the cheese underneath.
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A kinky young girl from Bexhill,
Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill,
They found her vagina, in North Carolina,
and bits of her tits in Brazil.
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There was a young girl called Molly,
who fancied a bit in a quarry.
She laid on her back, and opened her crack.
And the bastard backed in with a lorry
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There was a young plumber from Lee,
who was plumbing his girl with great glee,
she said stop your plumbing,
I think someone's coming, said the plumber still plumbing "its me"!
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There was a young actress from Crewe,
Who remarked as the vicar withdrew,
The Bishop was quicker, and thicker and slicker,
And two inches longer than you.
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A young engineer name of Paul
Was equipped with an octagonal ball
The square of his weight
Times his pecker, plus eight
Is his phone number, give him a call
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A washed up old harlot named Tupps,
Was heard to confess, in her cups:
"The height of my folly
Was screwing a collie,
But I got a good price for the pups!"
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I wrote these down to make someone smile. I once split my stitches in hospital reading limericks and its about time someone had a good old laugh on here.
BEWARE OF THESE. THE NEXT ONE COULD BE YOU. 
Great fun :o) ...not a good idea to read them while drinking hot coffee ...Tony