... So this review will not merely exist as a way to tell you all about the delicious flavour of Lucozade - it is my chance to complain about all the ways in which life is currently conspiring against me. We're going to discuss the issues I have with my father (I'll never be able to impress him), ... Read review
Advantages: A decent energy drink which works Disadvantages: Poor taste, over-fizzy, may kill you
...about the delicious flavour of Lucozade - it is my chance to complain about all the ways in which life is currently conspiring against me. We're going to discuss the issues I have with my father (I'll never be able to impress him), we're going to talk about my unfulfilling relationship with alcohol, and most of all we're going to talk about the way in which my life appears to have hit the skids due to my crippling lack of ambition and confidence, ... ...lifestyle. The 'original' style of Lucozade isn't based on any existing fruit that anyone knows of, and is instead an offshoot of radicalised sugar fed through a bottle of vinegar and liquidised sultanas until the taste becomes 'just right'. I'm being bizarre. In reality, Lucozade is simply an energy drink made out of glucose, which makes you feel energetic and lets your body lie to you whenever you drink it. You may think that it is making you feel ... more
Hello. My name is Stephen. I'm glad to be meeting you right now. I write on a website called Ciao, where I traditionally have tackled serious subjects such as fireworks and myself, whilst subsidising thse pursuits through writing lengthy reviews of albums by musicians you've never heard of. It is just the manner in which I wish to roll. However, I've come into a problem recently, which I can best explain to you through a paragraph of nonsense.
It's been a while since I last wrote anything that I thought could go onto this Ciao website I mentioned previously. Over a month. And the problem is that for every day I go without publishing an article of the new album by some American country singer with pretty hair; people start to expect more and more from me. The mythos that is Seresecros is far more powerful that Seresecros himself, and the problem is that people get too deeply invested in what I do. They remember all the good things about my writing, and none of the awful bits. They forget about my poor links, my overuse of words like "great" and "brilliant" to describe everything, and - worst of all - they start to believe that my jokes are funny. And my jokes, as my several critics will attest to, are usually poor. So this is the problem I have: people are going to expect too much from my reviews, so that when I eventually do write something new they're simply not going to get what they imagined they would.
I've decided that the only way I can correct this is if I go for a sympathy vote. So this review will not merely exist as a way to tell you all about the delicious flavour of Lucozade - it is my chance to complain about all the ways in which life is currently conspiring against me. We're going to discuss the issues I have with my father (I'll never be able to impress him), we're going to talk about my unfulfilling relationship with alcohol, and most of all we're going to talk about the way in which my life appears to have hit the skids due to my crippling lack of ambition and confidence, as well as my self-destructive habits. And, yes, we're going to talk about how I'm going to die alone without any friends or family to support me as I slowly flail towards Hell.
But first, I'll try to feign some interest in the reviewing side of things. Whenever I'm ill - which happens quite often, really, I seem to be quite physically weak and Darwin would probably have advocated my extermination if he'd ever met me - I tend to break out certain drinks and medicines in order to fix myself. This mix of substances always contains: ribena, ibuprofen (I don't know what it does, and have presumed it is an all-purpose miracle drug) and lucozade. Now, there are four important flavours of Lucozade, and each one is designed to cure a different kind of illness. If your teeth are poor and you've inherited some kind of weird 'fang' thing from your father's ancestral line, then a bottle of green flavour will make them not so horrible anymore. And speaking of that, does anyone else out there suffer from panic attacks at night? The orange flavour is good for any kind of stomach ache, and I recommend drinking it to replace the water lost during diarrhoea. Meanwhile, you can sip merrily at the lemon when you feel like you're slowly running out of time and will soon be thrust into a world of careers which you aren't ready for at all, and you worry that your English degree isn't going to help you at all. More than anything else, you worry that you're going to let down your parents after they have been nothing but supportive to you. Lemon flavour helps with that.
The flavour being reviewed today isn't lemon though, which negates much of the last paragraph (at this point: why are you still reading?) and doesn't have much to do with my socially awkward lifestyle. The 'original' style of Lucozade isn't based on any existing fruit that anyone knows of, and is instead an offshoot of radicalised sugar fed through a bottle of vinegar and liquidised sultanas until the taste becomes 'just right'. I'm being bizarre. In reality, Lucozade is simply an energy drink made out of glucose, which makes you feel energetic and lets your body lie to you whenever you drink it. You may think that it is making you feel better, but the reality is that your brain is getting doped up on sugar while the rest of your body suffers. You are still ill, but you just don't notice it because you feel a sudden need to do push-ups. Ultimately, drinking Lucozade then leads to a hangover the night afterwards (I'd say morning, but the energy in a single bottle is usually enough to keep one uncomfortably awake for several days).
I'm currently under the thrall of Lucozade even as I write this, a review motivated partly because I like Lucozade and partly because the girl who lives above me is being noisy (she's fat, so any movement she makes is noisy as a result. I dislike fat people). It wouldn't be a lie right now to say that I am wrapped up in my duvet while drinking Lucozade and wearing a Santa hat that lights up when I press a button. I'm not trying to insinuate that drinking Lucozade will leave you a disturbed puddle of a former human being, but it certainly doesn't seem to be helping me right now. It's a fizzy drink, for reasons apparent only to the manufacturers. Whenever you open a bottle, therefore, it will erupt in your face and leave you feeling like Jenna Jameson. The drink, which is bright orange - again, only the manufacturer knows the reasoning behind this - is very sticky too, so if you get it on yourself it's got to be itchy. Like most drinks, Lucozade is not to be poured directly into an electrics socket.
If you drink enough Lucozade then your nose starts to hurt. Every single time you open your mouth you'll be able to hear fizzing bubbles in your stomach, and you will feel like you have spent a week in a bacta tank. You may be wondering what a bacta tank is - it's the tank which Luke is put into during Stars Wars: The Empire Strikes Back following his attack on the ice-planet of Hoth. I like Star Wars, and am single, you see. Given that I have glasses and am skinny and ginger, it seemed like a waste to not like Star Wars and collect comics, so I have recently done both. It has not proven to be a great way of meeting girls, but at least now I know who "Xorn" is. I have flu, and had flu last week too, so Lucozade became the primary basis of my entire diet. I drank it all the time, often forsaking food so I could drink more of the sticky, flavourless fizzy stuff. I don't know why I continue to perpetuate the myth that Lucozade will cure all evils, but I think it's because I don't like change and therefore cling to tradition and habit. This is also why I cry whenever I hear 'Keeping The Dream Alive' by Freiheit. in its entirety.
Lucozade comes in a big plastic bottle which resembles a torpedo, which is handy for when you wish to hit someone with something. Make sure that there is no drink in the bottle when you do smack someone with it, however, or else there will be an explosion which will leave you feeling used (see para 6). I could do a quick taste test of the stuff now, but if you have the ability to taste when you drink Lucozade you are wasting your time and mine. Lucozade is only to be drunk in situations where all senses have failed. I'm fairly certain that if you took a bath in Lucozade your skin would be stripped off and you would experience a burning sensation. I have a burning sensation right now in my soul, which I don't think I'll ever be able to soothe. Ain't life just the worst?
Mixing Lucozade with other drinks has no effect at all - Lucozade will always be the dominating flavour in the mixture. Use it as a mixer for strong spirits, however, and you will likely kill yourself. The sugar-rush of Lucozade makes your heart go faster, while the alcohol makes your heart go slower, and the conflicting drinks will therefore increase the likelihood of your heart imploding. I read that during an alcohol talk at my secondary school about five years ago, and I haven't stopped missing school since that fateful day. I don't like the people who were at my school, but at least back then I was too young to realise the pressure which everyone is subjected to all the time, which pushes and pushes until you either break and give in or you snap and buy a shotgun. If you are under three, then it is recommended that you don't drink Lucozade at all. Put down that bottle, Evany!
Well, what have we learnt today? A powerful lesson, I hope, in the nature of human life. And also, many things about Lucozade. And yet, don't you feel that sense of epic let-down and anticlimax already? This review barely said anything at all, and yet it stretched on for paragraph after interminable paragraph. What was Seresecros trying to accomplish here? Was he trying to get laughs, or sympathy? Or is he just trying to waste time during his slow march towards death? Y'know what? I've been drinking Lucozade while writing this, and as we've gone on I've added vodka to it. And now I feel fantastic! I suppose that really, that sums it all up, doesn't it? Life requires vodka. MOAR VODKA. Alcohol is fantastic. I wish I was taller.
Advantages: Gives you a quick boost of energy Disadvantages: High calories
...whatever reason a bottle of lucozade seems to provide enough comfort for me to be able to think about food on these occasions. For this reason I decided to do a little research into this most beneficial of products and share my experience with you.
What is Lucozade?
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Lucozade is a fizzy glucose based drink with a little caffeine which is designed to provide you with a dose of carbohydrate energy and following research ... ...liquid energy source and became Lucozade 2 years later. In 1938 it was bought by Beechams (which is now part of GlaxoSmithKline PLC) and really was sold in chemists as an aid for when feeling unwell. It came ina distinctive glass bottle with bobbles on and a yellow label. This packaging and use of Lucozade as more of a medicinal rather than everyday product remained pretty much in tact until the mid 80s. I remember the days when I was off school ...
Suzela 01.10.2007
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Lucozade Original Energy
Advantages: Gives you energy Disadvantages: you can put on weight
Lucozade Original.
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I absolutely love this energy drink abit to much I think. This used to be drunk only if you were ill and also you would see it on lockers beside the beds in hospitals. More people drink it now, alot more young teens are drinking it as well as my grandkids who usually pinch my bottles out of my cupboard(must hide in future). I just love the taste. I used to drink it after a night on the Town as it was good ... ...plastic cover of red with lucozade in yellow writing on two sides.
Price.
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The price can vary depending on where you go. I got mine out of safeway and was part of a six pack which was in offer at £1.99 which was to me a great bargain. You can also get them in singles at the price of between 63p up to £1.19 for a 380ml bottle and also 500ml at around 89p - £1 the bigger bottles can be abit pricey at £1.87 for a 1 Litre or a 2ltr for £2.89. ...
jeannie 16.05.2003
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Lucozade Original Energy
Advantages: Tasty and invigorating Disadvantages: Overpriced
...on a soft drink, namely LUCOZADE Original Energy. Why? Because I can.
Unfortunately I'm old enough to remember when LUCOZADE only came in the big glass bottles which were wrapped in orange celophane. Hands up all the wrinklies who also remember that? That was back in the days when, if you were off school ill you were forced to drink the stuff, it was considered a medicine. Have they changed the taste? I seem to remember it tasting absolutely revolting ... ...days LUCOZADE is a more fashionable drink altogether. I don't really drink it much myself but Mrs P is a big fan. She starts her day off with a 380ml bottle straight from the fridge and that seems to give her plenty of energy.
* INGREDIENTS *
I'm not going to list them in detail but suffice to say the main ingredients are water and glucose syrup, with liberal doses of flavourings, preservatives and masses of vitamins. * NUTRITIONAL INFO *
All ...
proxam 15.11.2002 (14.02.2004)
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Lucozade Original Energy
Advantages: Tastes great, reminds me of childhood. Disadvantages: A bit sticky, may stain if spilt.
...and with a bottle of lucozade standing on the table. The downside was you actually had to be ill to have all these lovely luxuries.
I’m feeling a bit low, I’ve had a horrible cold all week, everyone is sick of hearing me cough. Feeling sorry for myself I saw this deliciously orange liquid on the shelf in the garage. £1.09 for a little bit of pampering seemed like a bargain to me.
This particular bottle is the original flavour. It comes in a 500ml ... ...the top with the word Lucozade printed on it in yellow. The liquid itself is a warm orange colour.
These days lucozade is advertised more as an energy drink than any medicinal purpose but although it’s now available in lucozade energy (original) and lucozade sport (orange or lemon). The original drink still tastes the same.
“Lucozade is specially formulated with glucose syrup to provide glucose, the body’s preferred source of fast, effective energy.”...just ...
Little_Raven 06.11.2002
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Lucozade Original Energy
Advantages: Gives you energy, nice taste Disadvantages: The glass bottles have been replaced with boring plastic ones :-(
...goodness I have my trusty Lucozade to give me an energy burst! There’s always a bottle of the stuff in my house and I usually buy a small bottle or two in the petrol garage on my way to work and on the way back. I think I’m relying on it a bit too much at the moment but I don’t stop – I go to work then when I get back home Im decorating or cleaning or something, It’s a nightmare. I would relax on the weekends but my mates always make me go out in ... ...Anyway, here goes…
PRODUCT
Lucozade is basically an energy drink with its main energy giving ingredient being glucose. Glucose is a form of sugar, which provides energy. Im going to be talking about the drink, although there are also Lucozade tablets which you can buy as well.
You can buy the product in four different flavours – Original Energy, Orange Energy, Lemon Energy and Berry. I have tried all except berry which I will be trying on my way ...
Sweetiesarahjane 28.08.2003
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Lucozade Original Energy
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Advantages: Perks you up Disadvantages: Lots of caffeine
Switch on your Brain with Lucozade Sport Alert
A few mornings ago I was feeling tired and in definite need of a caffeine hit when lo and behold I was given a sample of the new Lucozade Alert at Kings Cross station. The day was starting to look up already.
This new Lucozade was just launched in April so it's a very new product, hence the give away to entice customers. It is Lucozade's first stimulation drink (much like the benefits of Red Bull) and is meant to stimulate the mind and give mental edge rather than the body for which Lucozade is famous with its other drinks. Apparently according to their category director, Simon Kemp, the originalLucozadeenergy drinks are focused on people doing hard physical exercise. This new drink is aimed at office workers. He said the new drink will be supported by a substantial marketing ...
Spottydog11 28.06.2008
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Lucozade Sport
Advantages: Nice tasting, quite cheap. Disadvantages: Sugar content, not good to drink too many energy drinks!
Lucozade is a very well known brand who deal with a wide variety of energy products such as; energy drinks, health supplements, energy gels and energy tablets. I think the product that they're most well known for is the energy drinks as there is such a wide variety of them. You have the Lucozade Sport which comes in a wide variety of flavours and then, the product that I think a lot more people know about is the LucozadeEnergy drinks. These are fizzy drinks that are that promises to give you a little bit of energy. They come in the original flavour, which doesn't really taste of anything; the orange flavour, lemon flavour, cherry flavour (which is a new one) and finally, the one that I'm reviewing, the delicious apple one.
What is it?
LucozadeEnergy Apple is a sparkling, glucose drink which promises to give you a bit of extra ...
xKatieeex 11.11.2009
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Lucozade Apple
