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Right, come on, own up. Are you one of the car drivers with a dead magic tree hanging from your car mirror that hasn't smelled of anything since 1989? I knew it. No, it doesn't last forever, you do have to throw it away and buy a new one. Come on now, they're only a couple of quid! New Year New Tree and all that. Chuck out the crimbo one and get one of these instead.
I have been so bored by my morning commute (I don't do the driving, he does, as I am half dead until we nearly get there) that I have had to try and find new and interesting ways to spice up the morning journey.
We tried I-spy first: Him: 'I spy with my little eye something beginning with S.' Me: 'sheep.' Him: Yes. You. Me: 'I spy with my little eye something with C.' Him: Cow. Me: Yes. Him 'I spy with my little eye something with S'. Me: Sheep again?
You get the picture. Anyhow, the other day I decided to count magic trees in other cars. (Probably best not to ask, to be honest.)
And on average, given a population of commuters to Edinburgh, I'd have to say there's about a four percent dead-tree ratio. Honest, about one in 20 cars has a dead tree. Ok, so it may not be dead, it may be in its seventh week. What, all of them? I don't think so. You see, the magic tree has a lifespan of seven whole weeks. I know this as I read the back of the packet. (Sad Opinion Site Person Fact. Hubby has now started referring to my SOMs - Sad Opinion Moments, when I begin to read ingredients on things and make conversation about it. Not entirely complimentary about my favourite websites, but this is coming from a man who likes WWF wrestling, What can I say??!)
Seven weeks. It comes in a plastic wrapper, and the idea is that you gradually peel off a bit at a time to release the pungence. (I was going to say fragrance but that doesn't quite cut it.) Just by snipping the tiniest bit of the top you get this whooshing aroma of polo mints (green one) Old Man Aftershave (red one properly known as Spice) or Jif Wipes (yellow one.) There are other colours, but I haven't tried them yet. There are loads of different kinds - over 30 in fact.
Newest trees on the market are the 'Untamed Scents' like Savannah Heat (zebra stripes!) Serengeti Sun (tiger stripes) and Safari Mist (leopard spots). These new trees look very trendy, and would go well with your zebra print cushion covers should you have a Ford Capri.
There is a large range of fruity scents (12 different ones ranging from Sunny Citrus to Wild Cherry) and 3 Potpourri ones - Berries and Spice, Lemon Blossom and Peach Blossom, as well as a new Fresh Flowers range with scents like lavender, rosemusk and jasmin.
The biggest range remains the 'Traditional' ones - Ocean Mist, Vanillaroma, Musk, New Car Scent, Forest Fresh, No Smoking, Bouquet, Spice, Rainbow Rush, and three new ones - Sport, Peppermint and Spearmint.
If I am right, no one in the world actually uses the magic tree the way it is meant to be used. They just whip off the wrapper, and enjoy seven days of their car absolutely honking (but at least it blocks out the brie... actually it was stilton but try rhyming that with tree...)
And then after three days, dead, kaput, finito. Tree dead. What a waste. What I can't understand is how they put up with the pong.
Serious Consumer Moment:
The magic tree is very whiffy indeed, and will mask 4 week old Macdonald's cartons amongst other things. If you follow the instructions properly, your car will actually smell quite nice for seven weeks. If you just rip off the wrapper, you deserve all you get. That's all I'm saying. I would recommend it, I think £2 for seven weeks of peppermint (the best one IMHO, although not so easy to get hold of as Spice which is disgusting) is worthwhile. It's just a bit annoying that the only good place for it is dangling in front of the mirror where it is quite distracting.
You can find out more about tree-related products at www.magictree.co.uk. They also have new pump spray air fresheners as well as a range of little trees with a clip on the back, to stop that annoying dangling. These clip onto the air vents inside your car.
1 Q How much is a tree? A It cost £1.75 which I think is about average.
2 Q Where can I buy a magic tree? A In any good supermarket or petrol station. (Actually in almost any petrol station.) Don't expect to find any of the scents I have listed, they will almost certainly have only three: New car, Spice, and Forest Fresh.
3 Q Am I just too lazy to clean my car? A Yes, and its not my car, its his, so why should I clean it?
4 Q How did my car end up smelling of Stilton? A It fell out the shopping bag and was under the seat for two weeks. Refer to Q3.
5 Q What is wrong with WWF? A Nothing, what is wrong with reading the ingredients on things?
Anyone got any good ideas for new scents they could have?