Come on now, you didn't expect a straight review of a Mars Bar from me did you?
This review was inspired by LOBSTERQUADRILL and to her it is therefore dedicated!
Whilst strictly speaking you are going to feel that this review is either off topic, or posted in the wrong place, i.e should ... Read review
Advantages: Helps you work rest and play! Disadvantages: Read on...
...a straight review of a Mars Bar from me did you?
This review was inspired by LOBSTER_QUADRILL and to her it is therefore dedicated!
Whilst strictly speaking you are going to feel that this review is either off topic, or posted in the wrong place, i.e should be in the café section, I do hope to offer you enough information to assist in your purchase of not one, but two Mars Bars!
Let it never be said that ... .../>
"eBay Item: Mars Bar 1989 UNOPENED!"
My first thoughts on the matter were that this was a gross breach of the company rules on two scores:
1) Using our internet connection for private purposes (yes it is in the rules, but how on earth do you enforce it?) and:
2) That trading "externally" in company time is a much more serious breach indeed, however worthless the items being traded! more
Come on now, you didn't expect a straight review of a Mars Bar from me did you?
This review was inspired by LOBSTER_QUADRILL and to her it is therefore dedicated!
Whilst strictly speaking you are going to feel that this review is either off topic, or posted in the wrong place, i.e should be in the café section, I do hope to offer you enough information to assist in your purchase of not one, but two Mars Bars!
Let it never be said that RICHADA fails to give you value for money in his reviews!
OK, thanks to L_Q up there I am actually writing this review now, but how come I am posing the question "Mars Bar - Dustbin Item or Museum Piece?"?
Well step back a couple of weeks in time and join me in an extraordinary rare "free" half hour at work!
Due to a series of financial cut-backs and staff rationalisations (that is redundancies in plain English non HR speak) I, Company Director, find myself sifting through a large pile of "scrap paper", a purpose for which I have in mind, but which, truly, is off the subject of this review, suffice to say here that in order to put said scrap paper through the copying machine, it needs to be crease free and sans-staples. It also needs to be free of company confidential information as once through the copying machine will be for "open distribution" amongst the employees.
I am in a largish room, our print shop, a print shop no longer due to the printer being no longer with us. I am alone, just I and the scrap paper - piles of it. I am sifting quickly - an assortment of faxes, emails and various copied papers when suddenly I stop sifting. My eyes have alighted on something fascinating! A "personal" email which has quite obviously been downloaded on our office PC, from the recipients' private server:
"eBay Item: Mars Bar 1989 UNOPENED!"
My first thoughts on the matter were that this was a gross breach of the company rules on two scores:
1) Using our internet connection for private purposes (yes it is in the rules, but how on earth do you enforce it?) and: 2) That trading "externally" in company time is a much more serious breach indeed, however worthless the items being traded!
Now my problem is, that this act was carried out by a family member who for very obvious reasons will remain nameless - with a liking for Mars Bars, obviously it is not beyond the bounds of possibility that like his email, this review may be read!
The evidence is safely in my custody though, awaiting the appropriate moment!
My second thoughts, rather naturally fell along the lines of 'what on earth use could a 16 year old Mars Bar be to anybody?' - hence "Dustbin Item or Museum Piece?". Unlike, I suspect the rest of you, I have never used eBay, to be honest apart from selling the products that we actually manufacture - confectionary NOT being amongst them - I have no interest in selling and only buy on a strictly "need to have" basis - I have no need for a 16 year old Mars Bar…..
……if any of you do - well, sorry cannot help you - I have no idea if it has been sold or merely rotted away by now!
Thought number three then occurred to me! RICHADA, when was the last time you actually ate a Mars Bar? Well strictly speaking it was 45 minutes ago, purely research for this review you understand.
NO! The last time? In fact in all honesty I cannot remember - it was certainly before Easter 2000, I do know that!
So, a chance encounter amongst a pile of scrap paper lead to a chain of events climaxing with my purchasing in our local Post office this very afternoon a regular sized (62.5g) Mars Bar. For 34p I walked out of the shop with a chocolate bar so familiar to millions of people that I feel that I would be insulting you intelligence by describing what it looks like in the packet.
If, however you have just arrived on planet Earth and need to identify the product which is the subject of this excruciatingly protracted review, there are a couple of pictures below, hopefully enabling you to identify said confectionary should you happen to discover one of the hundreds of thousands of shops, canteens, café's and vending machines from which this item is available.
On the other hand if you just MUST have that 1989 historic item: www…….is your only answer!
My "Test Specimen" arrived with a rather more up to date "Best Before Date" of 29.04.06, I am so sorry to disappoint you all but regrettably on the 30th April 2006 due to foreseen circumstances it will not be able to make an appearance on eBay as a historic, or any other kind of item come to that.
Regrettably today, 20th September 2005, in the interests of market research and rigorous experimentation it was totally and comprehensively um……..
……consumed.
Before continuing this review, for legal reasons, I must assure you that no living creature, apart from RICHADA, was harmed in any way due to the execution of this experiment.
I have also to thank my faithful assistant, Mrs R. for her part in this operation, i.e carrying the specimen home undamaged (I was driving!) and also for securing it in a place of safekeeping in order for her to photograph it. Unfortunately, whilst opening the wrapper, it had an unfortunate accident being torn across the ingredients, rendering them useless for the purpose of this review…..
…..take it from me, the list is SO long that you could not possibly buy in all those ingredients and make your own Mars Bar, well maybe you could but at 34p would it really be worth the bother?
RICHADA's tip Number 1. then, buy it from the supermarket….life's really too short to consider the alternative!
What did surprise me on the less than "mint" (now!) label was that Mars are produced by Masterfoods Ireland, there was me thinking that only the market in Guinness had been cornered by the Emerald Isle.
As you would expect the main ingredient is sugar, pleased to see though that only one E number is listed there: E442. I do not therefore expect to be preserved for ever as the result of conducting this experiment on your behalf.
As a public service I would also point out that in the (very) small print the information panel does mention that the bar contains traces of peanut. If you are among the increasing number of peanut allergy sufferers BE WARNED!
The wrapper is now removed but carefully, although damaged, placed on one side for further analysis. In fact rather than placing the somewhat sticky feeling content directly onto the table cloth to photograph, we put it on top of the wrapper. At this stage my wife makes a rather critically disparaging remark about the appearance of the chocolate bar, which I am far too polite to repeat verbatim here, you will have to look at the "naked" photograph below and see if you agree with the following statement:
"RICHADA? Don't you think that looks rather like an elongated lump of S**T sitting there?"…..
….."umm, well it is rather brown and has an uncannily similar texture on top…."
Now for the remainder of the experiment. Before continuing, my wife has prepared some very good, organic ground coffee in order to aid and assist my ongoing research. Whilst the water is boiling it is time for the first test, there is after all another photograph required of the 'inside' of the bar.
"Milk chocolate with soft nougat and caramel centre" is what it says on the wrapper. Let's see what it looks like inside…..
…..ohhhh, what a mess, a sticky mess. My specimen is at 'room temperature' about 21deg.C. My hands are rather warm too. Warm and sticky!
Very sticky!
The nougat is invisible; I wish that the same could be said for the caramel which is running down my chin. Bite once and swallow the first end of the bar.
My teeth are standing on edge!
"Mrs R! I hope you have the dentist's number handy, by the time this experiment is completed and the other 40g have gone down, she'll be needing to take impressions!"
Now I have to say that I never possessed a very sweet tooth, even as a child, nowadays I am extremely sensitive, not only to sugar but also salt. In the interests of this review and in order to satisfy you, dear reader, although abandonment of this research was very tempting, I had to see it through to the extremely non-bitter end.
RICHADA's tip Number 2. If any of you, and I'm sure some of you are, considering a diet then I'm going to propose a very cheap and very simple one for you, in the words of a famous advert:
"A Mars a day helps you work, rest and play!"
For the first time in this millennium I ate a Mars bar, apart from attempting to wash it down with litres of ground coffee and now fresh fruit, two hours later my mouth is still tasting sickly sweet, my lips are sticky and frankly right now I feel as though I'll be work, rest and playing for the rest of the week without eating another thing!
At 34p per week for food that can't be bad can it?
I have just noticed on the packet the recycling symbol!
Thank goodness that means through the power of my wonderful digestive system hopefully come the morning my experiment will have completed its full course.
As for that 1989 Mars Bar, well over to you folks……
Advantages: Its The Best Disadvantages: Cost Me 45p
...I love a Mars bar and can remember when it used to be so much bigger, thicker and much more tastier, oh and calm down ladies I am still talking about the Mars bar, such filthy minds you have…..
Anyway hands up if you remember the Mars bar slogan, ok collect a cuddly toy if you shouted, "A Mars a day, helps you work, rest and play". Oh and also take a slap for actually standing up and shouting that out, jeeeeeeeez what must the neighbours think of ... ...I always loved about the Mars bars was the cool design, really simple but very effective and sticks in the mind. Ok yet again audience participation, how many times does the red Mars writing appear on the wrapper, jeeeez hang on a second ok. Just don't go shouting the first number that comes into your head, think about it. Ok who all said 3, well you win a lollypop, and if you have guessed both correctly I can only assume you love train spotting ...
BadCompany77 11.11.2005 (19.09.2006)
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Mars Bar
Advantages: A taste of heaven! Disadvantages: Calorie laden devil!
“A Mars a day helps you work rest and play”, was the Mars catchphrase I remember when growing up. Now though you would be more likely to see the slogan “Pleasure you can’t measure”, as in 2002, Mars dropped the slogan they had been using for 40 years as a result of market research, and a decline in consumer sales. Either way, Mars bars have always been a favourite of mine, regardless of the "add 2 inches to the waistline every time I glance at a ... ...*What is a Mars Bar?*
Well for the few of you who don’t know what a Mars Bar is, then this bits for you…A Mars Bar is a Milk Chocolate bar with a soft nougat and caramel centre. The bar contains 33% soft nougat and 27% caramel.
Please note however that a Mars Bar does contain traces of peanuts, and is made with egg whites. *And how does it taste?*
Like heaven’s snow flakes melting on my tongue would be the creative answer, but realistically Mars ...
kelr101 18.11.2004
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Mars Bar
Advantages: Great Taste, Great price, Classic Disadvantages: The new version is nothing close to the old one
Didn't you like your Mars bars the way that they have been since the last 70 years.
Why one earth have they given them a makeover. The reason to make them more suitable and popular with women.
Well at least the new slogan "pleasure you can't measure" might appeal to women but in a different sort of way and surely not the intended one. LOL. This is the new slogan of Mars and replaces one of the most well known slogans ever in "A Mars a day helps ... ...The old and new Mars bars both contain the same ingredients but with the new one the nougat has been given an extra whip in order to make it lighter in texture and basically almost identical as a Milky Way.
This makeover was undergone in order to gain an even larger market share and to target a wider customer base notably more women. It was said to have been considered too masculine by women and the general sway of advertizing pointed to running, ...
vinodgm 22.06.2002
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Mars Bar
Advantages: Very tasty. Give you an instant burst of energy. Disadvantages: Not a thing. Well, maybe a tendency to melt too easily.
...they are still distinctively a Mars Bar, although I’m still undecided as to whether or not I prefer the older, chewer bars or the new lighter, easier to chew, ones.
Ah. OK. They’re both delicious, to be honest. And at this moment in time here in Ireland, you can still actually purchase both the old and new versions, depending on where you buy them, but I suppose the old type will eventually run out.
They’ve stuck with the same ... ...slogan though, that read, “A Mars a day helps you work, rest, and play”. Because never was a truer message conveyed in an advert.
Mars Bars are an absolute essential in my golf bag every time I hit a golf course these days, (along with an energy drink) as they provide me with a quick and almost instantaneous burst of extra energy anytime I feel the old body starting to give up on me during the round. And that happens more regularly these ...
the_mad_cabbie 15.07.2002
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Mars Bar
Advantages: A pleasant snack that is surprisingly the same size as twenty years ago Disadvantages: Melts to become a gooey mass in the heat
...welcome to the fifth annual Mars Bar conference. This confectionary bar has been around for 70 years and it is still going strong. The saying “A mars a day helps you work rest and play” still holds true.”
He ruffles his hair slightly as the camera pans around the packed auditorium that shows of a huge Mars Bar in the centre.
“Today I am here to investigate what people actually think about this family favourite and to find ... ...do you like about the Mars bar and how do you eat it?”
“Well they’ve changed recently making them lighter and less chewy, but I still love the chocolate on the outside. I put mine in the fridge for an hour and then bite huge lumps of the bar, allowing it to melt in my mouth.”
Moving along Dick finds a young lady
“Tell me young lady what do you like about the Mars bar and how do you eat it?”
The young lady grabs ...
Simoncook1 18.07.2002 (19.07.2002)
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Mars Bar
Advantages: Tastes ok Disadvantages: Too sugary, probably a disgusting amount of calories, limited edition so if you like them you're going to be disappointed one day
Would you believe this op's been sitting waiting for 2 weeks cos I was waiting for the product to be added and the category was there already!!! lol Ah well, here it is anyway.
I had this bar of chocolate thrust into my hand this morning by a bloke (I assume) dressed in a moon costume. And you take take this literally - he looked like a giant cue ball on legs and was pushing a wheelbarrow (a posh one!) full of Mars Midnight bars. There I was striding purposefully through Town (you have to stride purposefully in Town to look less like a mugging victim! lol) and suddenly a 'moon' is running at me tossing chocolate in my general direction - so after all that I thought I might as well try the bloody stuff.....
You see I don't like Marsbars - I hate the chewy, caramel, pure sugar sensation but there's something alluring about this ...
Advantages: Cheap, tastes nice Disadvantages: No nutritional information
Catching me off guard at the checkout of my local Lidl store, which I have only visited a handful of times in three years, an eight-pack of Marsbar-type chocolate bars tempt me into buying them. Why? Well the price is the first thing that catches my attention. Retailing at 99p for 8x 54g bars, these are the equivalent of just over 12p a bar. This is astounding value for money considering a normal sized Marsbar currently retails in the region of 40p for a single item and is just slightly heavier.
The packaging is nothing flashy, a golden caramel-style wrapper features real-sized pictures of the bar with ?8x Caramel? written in big red letters across the front. The reverse shows ingredients in 12 European languages and what appears to be a Lidl address, suggesting these are an own-brand product. Availability is restricted to Lidl ...
Advantages: Tasty and cheap Disadvantages: Sweet and Moreish
wrapper, you get an immediate scent of chocolate. For those of us who are chocoholics, the aroma promises a lovely chocolaty experience.
Each biscuit is about 10cm long. They are basically flat but with slightly raised edges along the long sides. This gives us a sort of wide, shallow trough. Inside the trough there is a thin layer of chocolate cream, on top of which is a thinner layer of caramel. The whole thing is topped of with chocolate. The actual biscuit is quite dark in colour, indicating that it also contains chocolate.
Now to the flavour. Simply put, it?s a flat MarsBar lying on a biscuit and that is exactly what it tastes like. The biggest gripe I have is the sweetness. As much as I love chocolate, Marsbars and consequently Bisc & Mars, are very, very sugary. This is why I don?t buy Mars very often. However, despite ...
Shanksey 27.06.2004
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Bisc & Mars
