I laughed when the little girl on Britains got talent fluffed her lines and burst out crying..... do...
I laughed when the little girl on Britains got talent fluffed her lines and burst out crying..... does that make me a bad person?
Member since:19.08.2001
Reviews:130
Members who trust:126
Call it therapy if you like but I have just broken up with my girlfriend of several years and I need to write about it. Not my first love by any means but the pain is different each time, just like you can never really love each partner in the same way.
The first time I fell in love was at the tender and impressionable age of 17. My girlfriend at the time, Caroline was 15 and we met in one of those crappy teenage discos. You know the type, "dazzling Darren the disc jockey" playing all five records in his collection. It certainly wasn't love at first sight as we were thrown together by our friends who wanted to get rid of us to pursue their own agenda of teenage lust
We learnt a lot together, many "first" were broken in this time of serious puppy love and lust. Avoiding many attempts on my life by her three older brothers and pushed together by her parents' general (and understandable) mistrust of me. We shared love songs and tender moments together until one week she went away on holiday. On her return she told me she no longer loved me and wanted to go her own way. This was like a bolt out of the blue at the time, but with hindsight I was a very selfish and jealous boyfriend.
Heart broken and inexperienced I struggled to cope with the loss of my partner, my lover, my best friend. My solution was to try and get her back. Constantly calling her, begging her to give me another chance. I even sent a good friend around to and try and convince her that we were meant to be together. In the end she began to hate me and we have not spoken since. Although I have heard that she is now happily married to the man who she started dating after me.
Of all the advice that I was given at the time, only one friend, much older and wiser than myself gave me any good advice and to this day I regret not taking it. He asked me "if I loved her?" "of course I do" I replied "then let her go". Taking his advice would not of made any difference as far as going out together was concerned. But we may still have spoken if we had bumped into each other in the street and she may have looked back on our time together with fonder memories than that which she was left with because I kept harassing her.
My most recent breakup happened yesterday. My ex girlfriend (who shall remain nameless) decided that although we love each other, we just irritate each other too much to stay together. Fair point although not something I would personally consider "break up" material but what can you do. Reflecting back on my first ever break-up I will not be hammering on her door any day soon. Is it permanent? Quite possibly, but as they say "when one door closes, another door opens" I am sad and will once again mourn the loss of my friend and lover. In time I will look back on our time together and smile, knowing that this time I did the right thing, I let her go. My advice to anybody in the same situation would be to do likewise.
My wise old friend was 30 years of age when he gave me this good advice, when I was just a teenager. Approaching that same age myself shortly, I can now see that wisdom truly does come with age. You must follow your own path and make your own mistakes, but sometimes a few words from a wise old friend can ease the pain. "Life goes on and the world keeps turning, the faces change but the game remains the same. To truly love someone is the essence of life, to breath the same breath, share the same smile, feel the same sorrow, cry the same tears. But without love what is left".
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I couldn;t agree more, but when you are in the thick of love, its kind of hard to accept the "let go" theory and its one you can only learn with life's experiences behind you. In my parents time, people stayed together because they thought they had to, and that made those lessons even harder to learn, although letting go with dignity can actually enhance human experience an awful lot.
Kelmisty 27.10.2003 16:37
My boyfriend just broke up with me, after 4 years with not a very good reason, other than hes confused. I dont understand. But i guess u are right if u love someone let them go. I'm trying very hard too
steveuk 28.07.2003 19:43
Excellent advice but ... it's easier said than done :-(
Oct 10th, 2001
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