Member Advice on Bullying
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Review of "Member Advice on Bullying"
This is not an easy thing for me to write, so please bear with me on this.I have never been a very strong person, but I am a very forgiving person. It all stems back to my childhood, so what better place to start than there.
I was a really happy little child, I loved school, Infants school was a doddle, I was always getting into trouble always the loud child. The annoying little brat that you see winding up their parents in the supermarket now. Something happened to me though, something changed the way I was. It all started when I went up to junior's school. It was a brilliant school, the teachers were so friendly and kind, I loved going to school. but I changed within a few weeks, I went from the loud obnoxious child to the quite shy type that got on with their work and never got into trouble. I was basically a "teachers pet".The first year went by with no problems, but then suddenly a girl in the year above me took a dis-likening to me. She would pick on me steal my lunch, trip me up in the playground and general things to make my life hell. I was 9 years old, I didn't really understand what was going on, and I didn't know what I had done to this girl to make her hate me. I never said anything to anyone and so this went on for another 2 years. In the final days before she left the school she started a fight with me. My mum had bought me a golden necklace with one of them coffee bean lockets on it, the girl ripped it off and I couldn't find it. I lashed out but she ended up beating me to a pulp.
The next year was even worse. My last year in junior's school was worse than before. All the other kids knew about the fight and so they all took advantage of the fact that I was a "wimp". They would start fights with me, just to make themselves look good. One girl even stuck my hand in hot glue from a glue gun. I had to wear bandages on my hands for weeks and everyone laughed at me. I couldn't wait to get out of that school.But it didn't stop there. High school came, a lot of the children from juniors had gone to other schools, but there were still a few that knew me. I thought to myself, 'if I can just keep my head down, get on with my work no-one would bother me'. Boy was I wrong. The kids picked on me for being a "swot". I couldn't win, it just seemed to get worse and worse. My sister was in the 5th year at this time, and I thought maybe I would have a bit of protection, but she was just as bad. She would show me up, hit me make me look foolish. I was in a delicate state as it was, as I had just had a major operation, she didn't care she kicked me in my stomach in front of the whole school. I was lying on the floor in agony crying my eyes out and they just left me there.
The 2nd year wasn't too bad, I made a few friends and came out of my shell a bit, but people would still pick fights with me. I became stronger through it all though and started to fight back. People started to respect me more because I was standing up for myself and I gained a few more friends. The 3rd year came and things were great I was hanging round with a good crowd, then one day I had an argument with one of the girls in the our "gang". How foolish, I lashed out and we ending up fighting in the middle of the corridors. I managed to get the better of the girl and walked away. I sat down in the music room ready for the next lesson when suddenly I felt the biggest pain imaginable. The "cock" of the school had punched me right in my nose and broke it. I had two black eyes it hurt so much.My mum came down to the school and I told her everything that had happened. I cried so much that I could never go back to school. I could never face them again. I just wanted to curl up and die, I couldn't cope, and I was so scared. My mum spoke to the head teacher, and told her that she was taking me out of school until she could find another for me. I was so relieved, I couldn't describe what a feeling it was to know I was away from it all.
My mum found me a new school. It was a small school and there was very little bullying. I made a pact with myself not to let myself get bullied ever again. So on my first day, I made an impact, I was going to be the loud obnoxious child that I used to be, and it worked. I made so many new friends. I didn't do to well in my classes after that but I didn't care, all I wanted to do was enjoy school. I didn't care about whether or not I passed my exams, I didn't care if I got detention, I just wanted to be popular, and I was.I never looked back after that day. It has affected my life so much, but in a good strong way. I'm stronger now, I'm not afraid to stand up to people or get into fights. I still see a few of the girls around town now, and to be honest I speak to a lot of them, but I will never forgive two of them and if I ever saw them again I would tell them exactly what they did to my life and tell them exactly what I think of them now. I know i will never get a SORRY from them and to behonest i couldn't care less if i did. It would never change things it wouldnt bring my happy childhood back.
I have decided to write this, because my son started getting bullied in school. I immediately changed his school. I could see the signs I knew exactly what was going on. If my mum had paid more attention to me then maybe I wouldn't have had to put up with all the pain and suffering.I do not agree with Bullying at all, I don't believe that any school is bully free, but I think that both teachers and parents alike should be more trained in dealing with it. They should be told of the signs to show that a child is unhappy.
Types of bullying
Signs of bullying
· Be frightened of walking to and from school
· Change their usual route
· Not want you to go on the school bus
· Beg you to drive them to school
· Be unwilling to go to school (or be 'school phobic')
· Feel ill in the mornings
· Begin truanting
· Begin doing poorly in their school work
· Come home regularly with clothes or books destroyed
· Come home starving (bully taking dinner money)
· Become withdrawn, start stammering, lack confidence
· Become distressed and anxious, stop eating
· Attempt or threaten suicide
· Cry themselves to sleep, have nightmares
· Have their possessions go missing
· Ask for money or start stealing (to pay the bully)
· Continually 'lose' their pocket money
· Refuse to talk about what's wrong
· Have unexplained bruises, cuts, scratches
· Begin to bully other children, siblings
· Become aggressive and unreasonable
· Give improbable excuses for any of the above
· Physical.- Pushing, kicking, hitting, pinching and other forms of violence or threats.
· Verbal. -Name-calling, sarcasm, spreading rumours, persistent teasing.
· Emotional.- Excluding (sending to Coventry), tormenting, ridicule, humiliation.
· Racist.- Racial taunts, graffiti, gestures.
Thanks for reading my story, I hope to help others to know that they are never alone, there are ways with coping with these things, I wished I had spoken to my parents sooner about what was happening then maybe it wouldn't have gotten so bad. To all those parents that suspect your child is being bullied, don't wait for them to say something because it will probably never come. Say something, speak up. Help them.Lynz xx
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Listed on Ciao since: 03/07/2001