Mixed Race Marriage
 Jul 20th, 2001
Advantages:
It is God's arrangement
Disadvantages:
There will be some that people that will be be hostile to you, ignore them, and concentrate on those who care
Recommendable:
Yes
Detailed rating:
Effectiveness
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  Elainebaba
About me:
Friends! I am still here! I am more busier than ever. My hubby is in a nursing home. See I came here...
Member since:01.07.2001
Reviews:54
Members who trust:590
Review rated by 60 Ciao members on average: very helpful 
This review received a counterstatement by a party concerned
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Mixed Race Marriage. There is an increasing number of mixed race marriages, our is one of them. Both my partner and I have been married over 28 years, and during those ’turbulent times’, our marriage was like any other marriage.Looking back being black and my partner being white, did have some set backs. My in laws were reluctant at first to accept me, but proving myself a capable wife has won them over. Like any marriages, it is never an easy task. Nevertheless, as time goes you learn to cope. We wanted our marriage to succeed. 'God was in our marriage'. When we were courting and fell in love, nothing mattered so long as we had each other. We did not talk too much about racial problems, I hated discussing this, and felt life should go on no matter what the consequences were. I was naive, who would visualise what will happen in a few years? During our marriage, we did have ‘problems’ for one thing, our cultures were different. As ‘we grew up together’ we learnt to compromise, when cooking I cooked various types of food including English foods. I never cut my husband’s roots. He loves steak and kidney pudding, and I remember buying a recipe book to learn to cook English meals.
My hubby loves West Indian food, in fact different foods of the world. When we went to Trinidad for a holiday he was impressed by the hospitality shown and color at that time was blind, no one cared what color you were, he mingled with the folks and won their hearts over. Communications played an important part in our marriage, if difficulties arose; we tried to talk it through. We never use race issues as to the downfall of the problems.
We; learnt to accept each other for what we are.I firmly believe that a mixed race marrage is like any other marriage; you have adjustments to make as time goes along, and you learn to close your eyes to some faults. As children come along you learn to move in different directions. They can see the different in the races, how did we cope with then? Well we carried on an as normal, whenever there was a problem; we tried to deal with it quickly. I am pleased our children, though they may have had ‘personal taunts’ they have learnt to cope well. They get along with all peoples and have variety of friends from different races and background.Time changes, and you grow older together, you look back and wonder how you have coped. It was challenging in those ‘early days’ but we have learnt to overcome those obstacles, and is still learning! For me deep respect and kindness are part of the qualities needed to overcome difficulties that may and will lay ahead, we never let the race issue become a problem in our lives. We had and continue to have the support from parents, friends and family. In the final analysis, there maybe some mixed raced relationship that are ‘encounting problems’ for example it maybe parent that might have a dislike because you are the wrong color, it is important that when you are thinking of getting married you need to discuss the ‘ the sensitivity’ try to get to know both parents well. It will take hard work, the rewards are there, the important thing to remember talk openly to each other, rely on each other for support and help. It will sure have success! So if you are thinking of marrying from a different race, remember as long as you love each other love conquers all!
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by (2%):
21.11.2004 21:44
Very inspirational ...
22.10.2003 02:46
I'm glad I found this op. I have so many issues with this subject, it's hard to remember that our happiness is the important thing. Thanks for writing it.
06.05.2003 13:07
Marriage can be hard at the best of times. I am lucky to have a wonderful husband - wish I could say the same thing about my in-laws. As I am English and married to a Scotsman, there is still a stigma attached. Well done for sticking with it. Yours sounds a strong marriage. Jules x