Member Advice on PMS > Reviews (6)

Girlies...why do we put up with it? Do you think if men had to bleed for a week every month they'd just accept it? No way, they'd have had it sorted out decades ago - they'd be putting something in the water to stop it! I dunno, I think we're accepting this far too easily.

However, moving away from the actual bleeding part, which is uncomfortable and a nuisance, we have the part which affects the men in our lives...the PMS.

Never fear guys...I've done my best to put together a bit of a how-to for you. Each woman is of course different and I predominantly speak from my own experience, but hopefully some of this will ring a bell with all women.

1. PMS does not strike while a woman has her period. The P stands for PRE-menstrual syndrome. Personally it strikes me exactly a week before my period should arrive. I know in advance that on that day I will feel SO cross with the world and will burst into tears at random news stories about cats stuck in trees etc. So a few days before the main PMS day I tell my boyfriend "oh, by the way, watch out this Friday, it's not gonna be pretty". I think that's only fair all round - he knows the story and I get to be at my most irrational ratty self for one day, knowing full well he'll have the sense not to take it personally. So there's a suggestion for you - ask your girlfriend/wife to let you know in advance when they know which day will be the worst. Then at least you don't have to take anything personally! (My PMS lasts approx 3 days but there is ONE day every month where if Satan himself appeared in front of me I'd ask what he thought he was doing wearing his mucky boots indoors.)

2. Never say "oh, don't worry love, I know it's that time". GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

3. Learn when to stay around, learn when to disappear. PMS is strange, if my boyfriend's around, there are times when I simply cannot stand it. It's like the sheer fact that I'm incredibly bad-tempered and he is not makes me even more bad-tempered! And him being understanding towards me while I'm being bad-tempered makes me feel guilty which just increases my feelings of annoyance! At such a time I kindly ask him to leave the house. Now, that may seem incredibly bossy of me, but again, it means he doesn't get shouted at for nowt and he gets to go off and have a night out with the lads and all are happy. If you feel "why should I have to leave for a few hours, what have I done anyway?" think of it this way - she's about to spend a week bleeding, you'd be fairly cranky also at the thought of it, and it would be kind to give her some space!!

4. Accept you can't do anything right, don't try to be Mr. Super Helpful or you'll be disappointed. Save your "helping at home" bursts for another time when it will be really appreciated - this is not a time to be trying for brownie points. If you go into housework overdrive at this time you're quite likely to get a "oh, I suppose you think you're great now do you, and anyway, you've left a dirty cup beside the sofa, and, NO, I'll just wash it MYSELF thank you, I do it 90% of the time anyway"!!

Pick a non-PMS time and you're more likely to get a hug and a "thanks honey!". So be wise...Remember, no matter WHAT you do right now it's probably not gonna help the situation.

5. If you hear on the grapevine of something which has helped another woman over her PMS don't tell your woman about it while she has PMS. Wait until after she's over it. While she is having PMS she will listen to your advice but by the time the message reaches her brain she will have translated it into "Other women can handle it so why can't you?" - which obviously is entering dangerous territory!

So guys, I hope that will have helped a little, and I hope the women who read this can relate to it. I'd love your comments either way!

To finish up, here's a saying I heard once that made me chuckle - don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die!!