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1st2thebar

1st2thebar

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Wondering if we're allowed to debate Westminster Attacks...

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since 11/05/2005

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What are the main changes do you plan to do for Spring? 25/03/2017

Unlicensed Planning

What are the main changes do you plan to do for Spring? AN 'UNLICENSED' DIALOGUE IN EXERCISING THE LIBERTY OF PLANNING FOR WORLD PEACE - FOR THE ATTENTION OF LITTLE BRITAIN'S PARLIAMENT. Only recently a neighbour beamed at me and said... "Spring is in the air;" and then extravagantly inhaled. I automatically extravagantly inhaled too and said... "Indeed-y it is;" Not that Spring air differs from any other type of air - for me, air is air. I then comprehended that I had been subjected to and took part in the 'Spring ritual' without really being aware of partaking, till after the interaction. How easy it is to fall prey to this ritual idiocy; worse still I am now writing about this 'Spring ritual' under the illusion of being 'quite interesting.' Ah but... no, this is not remotely interesting; in fact it epitomises my neighbour; whereby the subject range are either weather or hip conditions; sometimes both simultaneously; y'see they're allegedly interconnected... apparently. Oh dear, Now I've just mentioned my neighbour's hip condition without relaying the precise condition, if you're interested it's much better because 'Spring is in the air...' Thus, the season of Spring is a glorious remedy for pelvis joints... apparently. I therefore plan to collect Spring air and bottle it for those who have pelvis or joint problems during Winter, Summer and Autumn. - - - From the off, it seems I've digressed somewhat from my main purpose this coming Spring, of planning for World Peace; although, in truth the above statement underlines the ...

Candide - Voltaire 18/03/2017

The Candide Man Can...

Candide - Voltaire Written in 1759 Publishers: Boni and Liveright, Inc. New York - - - Synopsis : Candide is the start point of satire and optimism within literature, political rhetoric, amusing anecdotes and warped ideology. It's about youth, innocence, control and suffocating cultures - for those who know of my wicked sense of fun, you'll denote it doesn't please certain quarters... although, I haven't had the harsh critique that Voltaire has had from our contemporary civilization; then again secularism is forgiving. Candide starts his life journey from the Baron's castle of Westphalia, deemed the rich pickings of opportunism. Thus, what comes from such magnificence environs and alarming rituals is an unrivaled dehumanization process, that is normalized. Totalitarianism couldn't bare the mocking, suffice to say the grounded and the heavenly despots are powerless to the Candide wit. Our world has embraced populism as if it was an unbelievable offer on a 'Beefeater' menu. To entrust that the meal will be better than anything we've experienced prior to now is incoherent and yes, naive; for the 'status quo' is as ill-prepared as a piggie going to market. Every aspect of modernism has opted to cuddle Voltaire's 'Candide' and gift the novella a realistic juxtaposition. Usually individuals had the pleasure of replicating 'Candide' if you want to know what happened to these individuals they came a cropper, their reputations sent to the gallows and dungeons of insignificance. What suffers most ...

Do you see your garden as a haven, a labour of love or a chore to keep on top of? 11/03/2017

Ruling over Vegetation

Do you see your garden as a haven, a labour of love or a chore to keep on top of? Gardening is for those who talk to themselves, they usually go out in the garden to cover up their cultivated insanity, at least with vegetation you'll get an amiable response, not dissimilar to the language of soil; notably, if next door over hears at all, the common normal response is to remark: "oh, I'm talking to the soil." That's quite acceptable for most people understand the language of soil although as a non-gardener, I spurn the excitement of learning a new language and about gardening in general. Can't say it's a chore if it's something I ignore - unlike the gardeners who're thoroughly enthused at working on three acres of land for a price ; indeed, ye-s, it came with the abode and so I seeked professional green fingered folk with tree surgery qualification, I don't see it as shafting my responsibility. Now, if I cack handedly laboured on the land you can bet your bottom dollar my intellectual deficiency on gardening would cause seismic wildlife issues from far and wide, plus beyond the perimeter of being acceptable. I'd go further than that, it may even reach headline news because those who go out in the garden and converse with soil and vegetation tend to have efficacious binoculars too; their demographic is synonymous to being a 'green activist' and no sane being wants to dabble with those archetypal entities; they're... une force de la nature. My attention to detail is more than suffice; I know what I like and thats clean lines and eloquent trimmings - ...

Visit as a tourist or live as a local: how do you like to spend your time abroad? 04/03/2017

Age for Innocence

Visit as a tourist or live as a local: how do you like to spend your time abroad? My oversea gallivants would make a pimp blush; meh, best suited for an alluring audience willing to make a personal donation at a box office. What I will express is my observational travel prose, call it an aperitif for the main event. Meh, I'm not one for spoilers hence why I may adopt a perspective that'll intrigue and leave you suitably enticed; for the record, I'm well traveled and have lavished in luxury hotels like a refreshed Lenny Henry, apart from being Caucasian and not remotely witty. I enjoy early morning strolls regardless of location (just like Lenny Henry)and comeback to a watermelon breakfast. A comrade of mine who is a renown animator once stated to me: "If anyone was suppose to just walk on beaches, it would be you." As a gent who is a venerate and a master of movement I took it as a compliment. Well, we all project an image, although few know what image they ascribe... and movement is always present until your immobile, but your image is incessant. and goes wherever you go too - and locals either respond or not; language has little dwelling; acceptance comes from what you represent. On the outer perimeter of the Piazza della Rotonda in Rome there's a celebrated dessert vender, it is off the Pantheon tour route, the venue is populated with locals - I was offered a selection of desserts of my choice... I was only passing by, I had two without payment, the ice sauvezs were perfect for a hot and sticky evening; they were glorious, I made sure to pop in the ...

The Bible in 100 Pages - Phil Moore 24/02/2017

Cherry Picking

The Bible in 100 Pages - Phil Moore Published by Monarch Books Year: 2014 - - - You know when you're in for a good time when a joyous Christian walks up to you in a street on a Sunday and quickly comprehends they've discussed the subject of faith a month earlier with you. The joy drains from their face and I pretended to not recognise the delightful fellow. He said, "oh, I've spoken to you before..." I asked: "how did our exchange go?" And his reply was brusque, not dissimilar to Moore's book; 'The Bible in 100 pages;' "you told me faith was too personal to discuss." Of course, I never said suchlike, it was a total misinterpretation. The reality was, I made a direct inquiry into his faith of certainty by simply identifying his core feeling - I relayed he had a hunch, but that's not a bona fide certainty. Naturally, the exchange grated against common sense and didn't bode well with the Christian; of the knowledge their whole purpose is to recruit followers, and spread the word, this keeps their belief system alive; to achieve active followers; their goal is to prove that my 'belief system' is inferior. Alas, the best they can go on is via the route of faith... In a nutshell, the term faith is having absolute trust in someone or something... for the record the 'Christian' couldn't demonstrate his faith in the existence of an omnipotent entity. Fortunately for Phil Moore we reside in a weird and wacky world, whereby our curiosity reaches for pious orientated theory for amusement and consideration; written by ...

Aesthetics: Lectures on Fine Art, Volume I - G. W. F. Hegel 20/02/2017

Bold Hegel

Aesthetics: Lectures on Fine Art, Volume I - G. W. F. Hegel Published in 1865 Translated by T. M. Knox (1900 - 80) - - - Lectures have an abiding rawness unlike any form of instructional communication. Even how the lectures are devised, portrays an orator identity, deliverance of intellect has always provoked a reaction, usually of relentless praise. This is why I found Hegel's 'Lectures on Fine Art' written in print form metaphorically speaking like; early Spring chards of light, promising enlightenment and applaud worthy intrigue. As a follower of scholarly writings, I denote Hegel's structural prose is an example of ritualism and eighteenth century collectivism - my oh my, I am lucky; the Hegelian lecture has the nuance to be a pathway to understanding infinite beauty, from conception to composition finality. At this stage, it's worth claiming Hegel's lectures are for the converted Hegelian (s); as a contrarian via nature, I am drawn to give an alternative prose; nevertheless, I could be sprinting with my slippers on, I suddenly feel febrile. Lecture format The publication originated from Hegel in 1865, however, thanks to the documentation platform of modern day lectures, the layout resembles a 'Powerpoint' presentation, indeed, the glib of bite size compartments. I sure Hegel would somehow cordoned off the formulaic divisions as being man's habit to siphon extensive knowledge into residential cul de sacs. *When I refer to residential cul de sacs I mean mindful ones, not bricks and mortar ones*. The aim is to manage data as ...

Valentine's Day: Do you love it or hate it? 07/02/2017

Dalliances with Wolves

Valentine's Day: Do you love it or hate it? The day passes by, neither with an ecstatic sigh, nor a nostalgic cry... Being a man of body and soul, I am merely a wobbly calf, when it comes to the matters of the heart; for I much prefer a night in with a Bakewell tart, and I don't mean the highly venerate octogenarian Joan Bakewell. There was a moment when I saw lover's dream turn into a pile of chunder, I was eight years . I shot out of an exit door at a wedding party to find the bride and groom holding each other up while simultaneously projectile vomiting. Yes, being a man and woman of body and soul, they were wobbly fowls. At the time, alcohol for me was a scent, not consumed, insobriety was a decade away. I didn't compute this glorious display of over indulgent love could've been a ritual every Saturday evening... my only assumption was that married life or 'love' wasn't too their liking, an impulsive realisation of their equal visual flagrancy. What I didn't concur was why make a spectacle of it? I concluded this was a life lesson on 'grand gestured consumerism'; in reality no-one can stomach it or each other... but for capitalistic survival, we must continue this valentine 'love' tradition... walk the walk, follow what our forefathers did, allow the village halls and florists to coin it in. Forever love is ultimately a mythical chemical. To turn love into an entity only causes mayhem, and furthermore real roses eventually wilt and perish as I was reminded by a theology student. Inadvertently predicting the ...

What are your thoughts on Donald Trump as President 04/02/2017

Grabs Felines

What are your thoughts on Donald Trump as President The free world is now fun.. experts have been sent to the gallows. Where is Bonny Tyler when you need her. My indirect response to the new American administration was penned via a Thomas More's 'Common Sense' book review on the day Trump became President-Elect and now since the inauguration on January 20th 2017 which seems like months rather than weeks ago, I've been provoked to wake up the raconteur within me concerning the leader of the free world, President Trump. I knew the so-called free world had gone skewiff when over a Lamb Shank Shepherd's Pie my comrade earnestly stated: "Trump's eyebrows aren't eyebrows, y'know... they're hairs from a squirrel." Such is the rotund, fake, pie-face complexion of Trump, I wasn't surprised to learn that a squirrel had been slaughtered to enhance his current eyes. What I can confirm is his mullet is his own apparently, which is thankful because that's the only thing connected to Trump that hasn't caused a peccadillo. Trump reminds me of a Jeff Koons inflated sculpture.... a bloated man-size baby, with small hands. What with his toy helicopters, planes, hotels, golf clubs and skyscrapers with the letters in gold labeling spelling: 'TRUMP' he obviously is crazily obsessive about labeling. As an orator, he also creates simplistic buzz phrases and incessantly repeats them, babies in highchairs tend to adopt this when they want something, for example: 'Mom, me want drink, me want drink..." This got the American women's vote for the ...

Alberto VO5 Extreme Style Matte Clay 30/01/2017

Barnet 'Architexture'

Alberto VO5 Extreme Style Matte Clay Size: 75 ml Durability: 36 hours although depends on amount applied Expiry date: 12 months from opened Eco-friendly: Recyclable. Three star rating Disclaimer: the product is not Matte Clay but Matt Clay - - - Playing with Matt Clay May I introduce you to Matt Clay, going by the subject picture you'll know Matt Clay is not a person - alas, an ice-hockey puck of hair product - made by 'VO5' - which does sound like part of a postcode. I use to cake my scalp with Matt Clay whenever my hair length reached 62 mm long... Regrettably it slowed down my Turkish hairdresser's scissor speed considerably, after a huff of exasperation he explained to me that I had far too much product and this made his job practically impossible. A mission impossible... admittedly, I was taken aback and wished him great success... I reassuringly said that I wasn't going to spontaneously combust in ten seconds... he still looked squirrelly. The words: "I'll make it worth your while" helped, so he persevered with my cemented nest - after thirty minutes, Matt Clay had left my scalp... a thankful gasp of exuberance from the hair specialist turned the heads of the other specialists, they muttered something in Turkish and I was given a consultation in product quantity and finger tip styling. I handed over an extra 20 GBP tip to compensate for lost client time... time is money y'see. I now only allow my finger tips to dive into the Matt Clay - I then gently coerce the clay to be an equal partner in nest ...

Cameras or smart phones: how do you capture magical moments? 24/01/2017

Photo Realism

Cameras or smart phones: how do you capture magical moments? When I first read the question for one fleeting moment I recall Eudemonidas having seen an aging Xenocrates who was still enthused about tapping into complex material as if a youthful sponge; Eudemonidas exclaimed: 'when will this man be wise, if he is still learning?' Xenocrates lifted his head up from his studies and gleefully replied; 'we are incessantly rebeginning to live.' Naturally, the scholar of the Platonic Academy was correct... As soon as humanity stops tapping the finger of progress, the magic will vanish and what would the likes of Xenocrates and Eudemonidas converse about then... and think about why live with a name that sounds like a medical symptom or cosmetic ingredient. While digesting the question another thought descended; I doubt the maverick Italian Inventor Meucci who developed the workable device known as the voice-communication apparatus would connect with the question either... phones that are no longer phones, how odd? Admittedly, they're shiny tiles to tap on these days; albeit, in retrospect not too far away from the vibrating diaphragm; aided by an electrified magnet adjacent to a spiral wire which hugs the magnet. Cozy. You see the vibration alters the current of the magnetism in which the transmission travels down the wire to a receiving diaphragm and that piece of magic creates a word. I doubt this rings a bell with those glued to tile tapping, yes you're tapping now aren't you. No doubt Meucci's sick wife enjoyed his vibrations, which led ...

Nostromo - Joseph Conrad 18/01/2017

Our Man

Nostromo - Joseph Conrad Publisher: Harper, Wordsworth Classics Duration: 388 pages Format is in three parts The paid paperback version 8.99 GBP offers the intellectualism of Robert Hampson (University of London) , not forgetting an extensive bibliography list, a treat for those seeking superior research pathways for University education and lectures. Plot line: The setting is Costaguana, it's a fictitious South American nation on par with Columbia, over the years the nation is riddled with revolution and secular warfare - much of the unrest is driven by politics, imperialism and the urge to self destruct. The fundamental quest is to continue to mine for silver in Sulaco, under the corporation proprietor Charles Gould, his relationships with European markets and international partners increasingly wavers (hands tied by American capitalists) - Nostromo known as 'our man' in Latin regions; endeavours in providing route options - whether it's boundless heroism or idiocy; global capitalism is scorched on Costaguana's terrain and populous. Will it break Nostromo? Written under the loosely termed period of early modernism; the novel inveigle the likes of Ezra Pound and James Joyce to embark on their modernism trope. - - - Being 16% through the twenty-first century, I wondered if the English speaking world was ready for a 'Nostromo' renaissance, the Joseph Conrad's book was written over an eighteen month period between 1902 to 1904; this was when new world orders started to grind towards a political ...

Bargains: Do you manage to find good deals outside of the sales period? 10/01/2017

Simian Business

Bargains: Do you manage to find good deals outside of the sales period? Finding good deals is not remotely a priority for me. Even the sales staff get exasperated with me when they pick up my purchases at the till and gleefully announce; 'look here, you could save yourself quite a bit if you opted for the jumbo size box of mini chocolates.' I decline their offer, the response is a raised eyebrow. Anyhow, here's my thoughts... Sales period implies an amount of time whereby a sale is on, thus, I'm feverishly pontificating when there wasn't a sale of some description. Notably, 'January Sales' tend to linger on beyond January, and morph into 'Last Chance Winter Sale'; and thereafter 'Spring Sale' - consumerism doesn't draw breath, it is just reinventing itself to suit the seasonal offers. Probably worth making a note, that if some sale items were out of season they're, priced at an extortionate (price hike) for approximately 28 days, thanks to a retail pricing policy this four week price hike qualifies products to be hugely reduced; a magic consumer figure is over 70% off. What consumers don't realise is that the reductions aren't as significant as they initially seem; in truth, items are no more than 20% off RRP. Another consideration which in a way I wished had more exposure is knowing when recycled stock was deemed dead stock; in other words 'write offs' - because a behemoth proportion of 'January Sales' is populated by dead stock. The crunch month is mid January because that's when money talks, and determines whether or not the retail sector ...

How to rate and comment 07/01/2017

My Dear X

How to rate and comment Now, after closing in on a decade of activity on the review platform, I'm what you call a veteran. I am launching this paper boat onto the tide, I thought I would offer advice to whom feel they could make a mark on this review platform. My dear X, you don't mind me calling you a single character do you... if you're offended view the 'x' as two lips, touching, engaging in mutual adoration... err, perhaps not, we've not met and quite honestly, I'm not the most interactively tactile of members thus find myself refraining from signing, or starting off discourse with the character 'x'. In my view, this kind of character flirtation dilutes the ability to offer advice, for the record, I don't leave 'smilies :)' either, I don't want to highlight a manic demeanour as this could be easily deemed inappropriate or malapropos. This review platform is not an invitation for; shenanigans... hence, no over-friendly interactive lip service required. Yes, it's important to relay the ground rules from the off, to save you from developing dispirited emotive (s). Worth paying attention, that the idea is to have fun, but the right kind of fun; aye, the kind of fun that manifests when you enter a crowded room full of financiers; oh the glee. Y'see being part of a community which enables you to post comments and rates at will is what I denote as being a true democracy, freedom personified. Although, a difficult one for members to fathom of the general consensus (and I am generalising here) most ...

Current Issue Special: End of Year Celebration 2016 31/12/2016

Reconfiguration

Current Issue Special: End of Year Celebration 2016 The likelihood of me answering the current debate question (s) which has been gifted a three week time-span this time round, to the book; is as likely as a fat old pensioner dressed in red and white popping down your chimney, and emptying his sack of goodies. You'd better stop reading if you're particularly vulnerable to fact, or of a certain disposition; for one of my inexhaustible traits is to cause offence by highlighting social disease. To put it bluntly, it's like a doctor being told off for being competent in diagnosing illnesses and coming up with viable remedies. Christmas via definition is a beacon to our social ills over the centuries; even the question of whether Christmas is a religious or commercial holiday is an example of our mismanagement of the truth. In reality, it's neither, religious, commercial or a sojourn - it's another day, neither it is particularly different from any other. I'm generous everyday of the year, too altruistic I'll say, compared to others. A few days ago, I spied a student dragging home a 6 ft Christmas tree to her digs, every Christian passed her by, disinterested that her hands were bleeding. I admired her effort and will - and so I 'saved her' from her self-made plight; she confessed in having deficient upper body strength; observationally, I claimed that the female form isn't built to carry six foot trees - she didn't debate it; hence, I carried her Christmas tree to her digs 300 yards up the road; and declined refreshment in ...

The Map and the Territory - Michel Houellebecq 18/12/2016

Michelin Star

The Map and the Territory - Michel Houellebecq Date of publication: 2012 Publisher: Vintage Duration: 291 pages Winner of the 2010 Prix Goncourt - - - Observing the world of art and celebrity under the Houellebecq microscope - the result is: 'The Map and the Territory'; a collaborative journey of the world of quirks, ills and utter nonchalance through the eyes of artist Jed Martin. Not forgetting the inflated fortunes and the weariness of reinvention and the cuckoo need to make sense of visual exploration - all for the sake of art. Oh, and Michel Houellebecq, the author who wrote 'Atomised' features as a character. - - - 'The world is weary of me, and I am weary of it.' - Charles d'Orléans So far the twenty-first century as gone to plan in my view, no surprises have alarmingly ascended like a pheasant catapulting from verge to verge - indeed, their melodramatic squark shatters a tranquil walk. What is it about prize winning authors and squarking, sorry walking? I've read nearing a handful of Houellebecq novels and you can be sure to expect a meander somewhere - more than once, deep in contemplative mode - drifting along an endearing nostalgia I almost long for. I've thought about Houellebecq's intense nostalgia for at least ten minutes... nope, I'm not at that stage whereby nostalgia envelopes me - y'know, It's not due to my lack of age, memory or shoddy dalliances; oh no, I put it down to the invisible big thumb of 'you must do, or else' - indeed, I'm under the proverbial thumb of capitalist's tribalism. Not ...
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