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1st2thebar

1st2thebar

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Presumably we're all adults on here now wanting to discuss 'Koninklijke Nederlandse Oudheidkundige Bonds.'

Reviews written

since 11/05/2005

765

Member Advice on Eating Apples 21/01/2018

Appalled

Member Advice on Eating Apples Professor Isaac Newton got interrupted from a pleasant slumber by a rude apple descending from a tree, the fact it was a pear tree implies concussion took force and he over speculated the reason. To put a finer term to it, Newton was inebriated. Amiably to cover up the embarrassment he conjured up a churlish theorem, he called it the nature of gravitation. Fortunately in 1666 no being had ever deciphered over the concept of slimming and grandiose bodies weighed the same as newborn babies. The idea a smaller entity bungee jumped into the world had his Pa's nose, feet, rubby fat fingers, podgy complexion equated to being the exact weight of the seed provider; for the little one was merely a clone of his Pa and so body mass must be an exact replica of the parent's BMI. All thanks to a pear growing in a courtyard in the Physics Department in the University of York. The pear tree survives today at Woolsthorpe Manor in the region of Lincolnshire; allegedly, the pears since Newton's ponderous summer of 1666 now taste of apple and over three hundred and fifty years later have metamorphosized into apples, blame the weird science of gravitational properties. Proof that Newton's gravitational theorems were indeed correct, even when they incorrect in conception. Minor matters in the grand scale of duration of course, all forgiven -- because Newton inspired a nation of apple lovers and many fruitful adages accompanied his whimsical apple antics in Physics Departments. 'The apple of my ...

Proposed Ciao Meets 19/01/2018

Shapeshifter

Proposed Ciao Meets Have you noticed that if you yodel in the pantheon of Ciao these days you're greeted with a forty eight minute echo... for ten seconds it's amusing but I've found it can send you meshuga. Why a propossal to meet is a good enough time as any... I got the idea while staring in a car mirror at 5.53 AM this frosty morn and thinking, something is different here, I know this chap and without sounding too ridiculous I nodded at my silouette against the backdrop of a night light expecting him to nod back... however, we nodded at the same time which startled me. I didn't ask him whether he was a Ciaoer, p'raps I should've because he looked the type; y'kno slightly anal, mildly intellectual and I got all this by observing no facial details, just posture and a deft head tilt. Clever me, I broke off the gaze after six seconds before he did, I think although; I've a feeling we were in sync. Not wanting to exceed my limits , to live beyond myself, literally to live beyond my means - I flightingly thought this experience exemplifies there's life and greater life via other dimensions, the first is futile but who knows what the greater life is; presumably a greater one implies a better one than this one, if you count this one of course. The expression derives from Malraux in the letters to Dortous from Mairan... indeed man is only great through his relations with great things. Why meeting up doesn't sound so scary. After the lifelong bruise of configuring my writing identity for online ...

Everything that starts with V ... 18/01/2018

Villainies

Everything that starts with V ... Green's resignation last month was based on his past dealings, surely, this opens up a can of worms for the Prime Minister who has worked with, plus known Damian Green since their cozy days at Oxford. A case of see no evil hear no evil, perhaps; but the net is closing in... what with nontransparent government contracts and Home Office reports from 2008, I therefore deduce a contagion of corruption. May was one of Britain's longest serving Home Secretaries; by being so, she had direct contact with the Crown Prosecution Service at a time when Damian Green was Shadow Immigration Minister and from the back of the arrest of Green, Home Office informers were being investigated in late 2008; to add clarity, the then Labour Home Office were taking steps to prosecute Christopher Galley the Home Office Tory insider at a later date; this was the intention of Home Secretary Jacqui Smith who was apparently oblivious to Galley's inhouse espionage. Naturally, it maybe too late to seize hardware evidence from Home Office records during this epoch to expose veracity, and in any case this possibly isn't in the public's interest to affiliate the Prime Minister with yet another ill-timed transgression from her administration's contagion of incompetence over 'Carillion' contracts in November, knowing full well of the corporations dire financial situation in July. For those who cannot see the conundrum at present, I denote much of the travesty is the same thing... deregulation of credible data ...

ciao.co.uk 15/01/2018

Lifelong Bruise.

ciao.co.uk Now is the right time to write on Ciao.co.uk I sense... now that incentive / coinage remuneration is a distant memory; a proverbial stake in the ground of paid opinion folklore. Who'd of believed that consumer opinion equated to no worth whatsoever, during an epoch when super capitalism rules over us depicting a Dickensian Scrooge. Those who're left are offering product / service guidance to the billions of online purchasers, who're haplessly salivating over the next online transaction to help them through the doldrums of gazing out at dull Britannia; today's Ciaoers you're doing a immeasurable service for online consumers who depend on reviews. If a loose Class 1 banana is 83% positive on Ciao, in the basket it goes. I even clicked on several of Nar's professional Shopping Channel styled videos on vacuuming and making coffee; I marveled at his succinct delivery and glad I informed him so, instead of clicking away without heed. Talent has to be rewarded and I feel priviledge to have been part of a rich pool of enthusiastic writers who spent immense time in providing the online consumer an inkling of product and service knowledge. However, it's the discourse and varied social values which grounded me to this site, cemented me to the metaphoric bricks of opinion -- the type of opinion that matters to build communities and colonies, bridging the gap between online interaction and tangible interaction. For the review platform will always be far greater than reality TV. How I ...

Everything that starts with Y ... 13/01/2018

Young Provocateur

Everything that starts with Y ... People like Toby Young never learn from their abominable beliefs, they simply attempt to change the rules to make their social ills acceptable. Oh memories, a decade ago I would leave a message on my answer-machine saying: "If this is who I think it is, I maybe away for some considerable time Toby Young, however if you're not Toby Young, I'll happily get back to you... prompto!" Quite retarded really, however I don't regret recalling my message to the world or posting it on the internet in the 21st Century. Individuals who've known me for a durable period knew I hadn't done any writing projects with Mr. Young or lean towards his political stance so had practically no connection with the Toadmeister; apart from a fleeting moment during my rock and roll years when Bon Jovi caused a stampede in the Oxford Union and Jacob Rees-Mogg grunted and grinded up to a stone statue and said: "You're a bald right-wing provocateur, that's why I like you." The statue moved: it was Toby Young, although his facial movements didn't move they were fixed under his facial scaffolding, designed specifically to look like glasses. The ladies and Jacob liked his chest fluff popping up from his pristine white shirt, then a drooled out whine hit the air: "Eeeerrr, isn't there any proper bourbon ere.... mehhhh, I hate this watered down sparrow piss..." He immediately left, alas you knew he'd gone off to urinate on someone elses parade, probably some impoverished African pubescent who'd love sparrow piss ...

Tesco Parsnips Loose Class 1 09/01/2018

Parsnip Saves Sexagenarian

Tesco Parsnips Loose Class 1 Tesco Parsnips Loose Class 1 If the phone rings the day after armageddon, I bet you're bottom dollar it's a disillusioned soul dressed as a heat resistant parsnip in Tesco's near Peterborough; nothing gets passed a parsnip not even when it's the end of civilization... he randomly calls numbers on the hope more spry folk topping up their pensions would be dressed as a parsnip in other Tesco stores. He's out of luck, although, he'll survive on parsnips, albeit, will be dressed as a parsnip for eternity, henceforth no need to worry what to wear on a daily basis. In no time, he'll look like a parsnip inside and out... his wrinkly skin replicates an elephant's derriere which is no difference to a parsnip in any case. Offputtingly, there's no (thank goodness it's not us) BBC bullet-ins, explaining the aftermath of a major incident because unsurprisingly most of the world population weren't wearing a heat resistant parsnip outfit. Everyone else was in the dreaded soup, vapourised under a 59trillion (k) microwave zap, allegedly done by a disgruntled Tesco consumer who complained about the class 1 being not remotely of a class 1 standard.... not that consumer regulation knows what a class 1 parsnip should look, taste or be; apart from being fit for human consumption; whatever that means. You can see why shopping for vegetables after week in week out of the slitty eyed rotund crazy pressed his little red nuclear button; of the premise no Tesco store has a vegetable complaint ...

Mini Sagas 07/01/2018

Mayday

Mini Sagas There is something eerily contemplative yet dysfunctional about Theresa May, which goes direct to the cause of a chaotic administration since the General Election of 2017. Everything written or been oratory delivered to the nation has as much detail as a schoolgirl beatnik. Yet, I can see every article is carefully composed with a contemplative tone.... as if not to stumble over some accidental detail that'll fuel the reality of what Brexit really means. My openmindedness led me to seek solace via the Prime Minister's 'The Telegraph' articles; instead, I witnessed systematic disorder at best. They're articulately degenerative, offbeat and nebulous. I had to check each time, the pieces were written by Theresa May our Prime Minister! The piece announces from the off that the UK is making progress towards a successful exit from the EU --- the article content was divorced from such a statement; furthermore, the process is also making Britain fairer in doing so. Remarkably, two demonstrative announcements in one sub heading, equates to intellectually... a contradistinction. Why not just say; towards a 'successful' exit from the EU? Contemplative yet dysfunctional exemplifies the current administration. The fact that the articles are meditative is outlandishly concerning to me, because every rational individual computes that Brexit will make the UK a less fairer society than what it's like today, of the notion our current position in the EU on trade and our deal orientated ...

The Differend: Phrases in Dispute - Jean-Francois Lyotard 30/12/2017

French Whine

The Differend: Phrases in Dispute - Jean-Francois Lyotard Year: 1983 Duration: 232 pages Publishing House: Manchester University Press A collective critique - - - Lyotard's terminology of differend, is of result of an individual unable or dehumanised by another party engaging in an none specific language, genre or by logic. One graces discourse with judicious theories while the other merely works in speculation in its entirety. There's an absolute distrust element to those subscribing to speculative terminology; and it's done so without heed nor comprehension of intellect value: firstly of who you're talking to and also of the matter in hand - causing 'phrasing of dispute', the title of Lyotard's book. I'll denote the process of negotiations usually go by a set of rules that are adhere to, nearly at all times there's a state of delusion by one party who by default is profusely speculative. Overtly, this is a time wasting tactic if others follow suit (you may recognise this in the public domain today); and for those proficient in Lyotard's philosophy you'll quickly depict the bigger picture; however, the irony is.... speculative thought-mongers are notably programmed to identify everything as 'speculative' of the premise they're whole pattern of language is non-specific -- naturally nebulous. In parts of the book, you may allow yourself to compute Lyotard bruisingly adopted conjectural language to encourage the differend, the act of devoid logic --- purposefully, the author doesn't read like a judicious theory either, his scope ...

Do you have any coping strategies for the cold, dark mornings and long winter evenings? 07/12/2017

White Elephants & Panto Horses

Do you have any coping strategies for the cold, dark mornings and long winter evenings? My coping mechanism was knowing a membership was spending time reading my opinions, even if they weren't I convinced myself they were clicking onto my writings and agreeably nodding in appreciation of my ramblings, praps in spirit. It gave me a warm feeling inside an online community of all demographics saw my mugshot and thought: "I see the gent has submitted something.... lets amuse the fellow by giving the impression the review has been read; fingers-crossed, I'll get a payable rate back." Now the goalposts have been moved to the fringes of Mongolia, I again convince myself the means of keeping warm is to imagine I have a readership, chewing on pen lids, while toying about on girlie sites - I don't demand your complete attention; especially having to deal with cold, dark mornings. I imagine seeing my 'Ciao' profile shining on member's faces not by content but by the device's screen light. Luminating the immediate environ like a friendly smile. Of course, I'm kidding myself, there's no-one about. I maybe warm and comfortable; alas, this festive period is superfluous to my requirement; yet another ribbon, another year marking human insanity. Naturally, I'm complicit in regards to madness --- why I write on a decrepit platform to a non-specific audience. I was in a buoyant mood last week when I let loose on a plan of internal affairs to a comrade who'd saw a suspicious twinkle in my left tearduct. Ah, it's something to keep me warm during the winter months I stated: My ...

Essays - Michel de Montaigne 04/12/2017

Of Extravagant Wisdom

Essays - Michel de Montaigne 'Essays' was the reason why J J Rousseau wrote 'The Body Politic.' Three volumes A note on the French to English translation: you'll witness a numerical imbalance of the word thousand and thousands and many thousands - (mille: in French). I dare say, Michel de Montaigne didn't use this generalised (numerical) value / language -- in truth his precise authorship in all manners of prose is renown and why I think the translator has taken the easy route: thus being as ambiguous as possible. I suspect the term 'repertory' meaning 'various' got miscalculated. I've just opened a bottle of 'Esprit de Puisseguin;' a sampling from the Bordeaux region; well it seemed appropriate while reading through de Montaigne's essays... in truth they're really letters (maybe 19th C reviews), conversationally done to whom it may concern; by default, formulated into chapters. The subjects possibly stimulated by 'the man in the street or Inn - discourse', the golden nugget for de Montaigne's pen, I clarify that the master pounces on ideological musings like a playful panther... reading them is a celebration of frankness and it appears he has no limitations or filter. One of the all time classics of French literature and Western prose; translated into English from French by Charles Cotton. Marcel de Montaigne's lucid writing which was tinkered mercilessly had the hallmarks of an early blogger / online diarist - honing his intellectualism via a string of mindful updates on every subject - The ...

Do you consult online reviews before making a purchase? 19/11/2017

De omnibus dubitandum

Do you consult online reviews before making a purchase? Several years ago, there was a requirement for media outlets such as newspapers to prominently have a far greater online existence, but in doing so traditional printing careers had to be momentarily safeguarded, stroke retrained into interactive models; the conclusion... digitalizations. - - - Whose to say 'Ciao' won't eventually be a behemoth interactive 'YellowPages' whereby actual self published opinions will be the number one unique selling point. Annual remuneration via annual subscribers, from regular visitors wanting trustworthy opinions by experts... ultimately the bargaining tool will add extra value to reviews and quality across the review platform spectrum. Indeed, a game-changer for online consumerism. The debate question has inadvertently been answered: 'many of us spend much more time on the Internet than ever before.' You'd rapidly conclude, internet users would be seeking information on services and products from opinionators, who're willing to gift the online community their product / service wisdom. On a personal level, I couldn't help but notice that to the online community my opinions are deemed of 'expert' value and this is the case - indeed, I can relate to this label wholeheartedly, as a default position I ponder to myself what my requirements are and over fifty percent of the time my 'expert' status informs me what they are. Forty percent of my consciousness identifies 'Ciao' being the best source of product service information; about six percent ...

Ilsa The Wicked Warden (DVD) 14/11/2017

Orchestrated Chaos

Ilsa The Wicked Warden (DVD) Ilsa; the Wicked Warden (1977) - Also known as 'Wanda,' and the ILSA Series. Made in W Germany, (not S. America) in collaboration with Erwin. C Dietrich Director: Jess Franco Genre: Horror / Sexploitation Duration: 94 minutes Starring: Dyanne Thorne (Ilsa) , Eric Falk (Pablo), Jess Franco (Dr. Arcos), Lina Romay (Juana), Tania Busselier (Abbie). Music: Walter Baumgartner - - - Synopsis: Abbie manages to get admitted to a secure psychiatric hospital via Dr. Arcos in a bid to find her sister. Ilsa is the wicked warden who uses the admitted to quench her sick mind, she also subjects the young girls to untold sadistic acts - to add salt to the wound, they're filmed. Abbie's circumstances increasingly worsens after refusing advances from Juanna -- albeit, Ilsa's tall stiletto heels are prone to get stuck in a stony floor crevasse, ye-p, ideal for Franco fangs. Cult films fascinate me.. perhaps it's the idea that there's an element of validity waiting to emerge from actual historical content, observers alike play 'spot the truth element.' Myriad cult filmscripts are influenced by cultural phenomenas (bio-directional media threads, entertainment and global issues even in the 1970s), devised naturally to lure in an audience, the rules remain the same today. Yet, when voyeurs are viewing cult scripts nearing four decades on... the influence (s) and clever messages get somewhat blurred and this leads to commentators incorrectly usurping on misdiagnosis and misconceptions - hence, ...

Do you still celebrate Halloween? 05/11/2017

Phantasmagorical Fandangle

Do you still celebrate Halloween? I made it a tradition to celebrate Halloween with a luminary 'Arturo Fuente.' Indeed, for several hours the library will occupy ghostly plumes that'l smell of damp rug stroke dog dependent on your exact position. Broadly speaking this is my internal winter cleansing, readying myself for cold bleakness and bleary nights of aromatic, clinker grinding Jura and tangible prose all under the comforting moss green lamp of inspiration. My eager observations, i.e. sniffing out horrific terminology, usually derived by ill-advised pen-pushers from Her Majesty's Services; the same office who squirrel packed the hornswoggle pact in ofference a referenda to plebiscites. Y'know, the shocking reality of thousands of laws turned into a puff of smoke by sleazebag parliamentarians ticking off the last quarter's expenses and who's now fit and available. In some quarters this so-called 'EUL' is judicial material no sane entity likes to analyse, nor wants to know about or wishes to give lip service too - instead, the scripted shift of focus is claiming inappropriately placing of fat, sweaty digits on a female journalist's knee in 2002. The amateur shoddiness is embarrassing, not unlike when I got to know a pumpkin intimately. Meh, about this time in 2002, I was wearing a pumpkin on my head sucking cheap vino from a straw, oh the high life of hearing your own vocals circumnavigating the lobes, whereby you feel as if your orange head may explode. If it was today, people would comment I was Donald ...

Apple: what do you think about the brand's products on the market? 31/10/2017

iGroan

Apple: what do you think about the brand's products on the market? The late Steve Jobs knew the Apple philosophy will be diluted if the global market was saturated with Apple devices of the premise, success breeds negligence and you can't juggle that many devices and remain true to your core ethic. The main one... consumer safety. - - - There's been immense security compromises along the way mainly by unforeseen forces of evil; eager to rot Western values, but regrettably the codec encryption program has been neglected, basically putting marketable profit in front of expansive codec patches / updates on 'Apple's' Mobile Technology devices. Granted, the codec program is a failed mission which Jobs would've never mishandled / disenfranchised. Jobs's natural pathway was education, to secure generations of tech-followers proficient on one interactive formula, yes, the followers remain and came, but not via being on, one secure interactive platform. On a grand scale, having tremendous success in regards to product variety effectively does little to enhance future projects, of the renown view, scaling down device repetition is the only correct and valid option to foment long term interest. Tim Cook's (Apple's CEO) evaluation is never to scale down, production or costs. Indirectly, 'Apple' affiliates and the corporation themselves have to step backwards to iron out forgotten ethics and aging platform discrepancies before moving onwards to keep the brand relevant and therefore forward thinking, to revitalise a credible five year prosperity ...

The Demons (DVD) 24/10/2017

'Denuns'

The Demons (DVD) Les démons 1973 (released in France by Robert de Nesle) Director: Jess Franco Genre: nunsploitative / Gothic Duration: 118 minutes Music: Daniel J. White (Beethoven-esque piano cords) Free to view - available on 'YouTube.' - - - When an adhoc scene depicts a Julie T. Wallace doppelgänger in 'The Life and Loves of a She-Devil,' (1986) written by Fay Weldon; from the off, blurts out 'witchcraft' obscenities and rather enjoys it, while the marinaded wooded flames lick the accused ankles as if it's a dragon's tongue -- you know the Franco magic is taking centre stage. Indeed, 'Les démons' is disturbed, enough to salivate and spit on the angel eyed (butter-wouldn't-melt-types) -- ye-s, the inglorious nunsploitative Franco-isms commences. What saves the film from breaking censorship is Franco's ability to envelope comedic theatrics; although, I cannot see Judy Dench doing 'Les démons' justice in the 'Ol Vic' - her posture and neckline is slightly too regal for demonic intentions; however Downton Abbey's Maggie Smith wouldn't need to be told twice; soft-corn sparks embers. Witchcraft and youthful females who follow the regimented path of piety for Franco are righteously sprightly and angelic - in Jean-Antoine Watteau's vault there's a plethora of painterly beauty, and I assure you, Franco holds the key. The film is ideal, for the director's follower, who knows the difference between purposeful artistry and trashy buffoonery; who'll mindfully paint in the colour by number ...
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