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Desolate_Cash

Desolate_Cash

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since 22/09/2002

48

Ciao Poetry Challenge 28/05/2004

A Suffering Yellow Sun

Ciao Poetry Challenge Suffering Yellow Sun If I imagine heaven… Will you be there? Your gone now… your long time lost… I am alone, yeah I’m alone I have no time to say the things I tried to make myself forget Will you fall upon the instruments I loan you… of lust, and love, and the dreams of a suffering yellow sun How can you begin to imagine that all this is just for fun.? Don’t pretend to know me, don’t try to fail me… Leave me here alone, let me alone to find my own… Suffering yellow sun Should I trust you ever? Might you be never? You’ve lost now, your last chance gone I am alone but I’m alive so I need not to say the things I need to say to make myself forget Could you lean upon the instruments I gave you, of trust and joy and the fears of a suffering yellow sun. How could you assume that all this is just for fun? Don’t presume to tell me, that I’m the one you failed…. Leave me here alive, let me live to be alone In my own suffering yellow sun.. Should I image heaven…. When it will not last forever…. Its all gone now, short time love…. Its flown away now, feelings of anticipation lost, no point in hiding the things that we forgot Have you played the instruments I pledged you… of fun and fears and lust and trust and the fears of a suffering yellow sun.. When you imagine heaven…. Think of me riding alone On the wings of a… A suffering yellow sun. ©copyright Benjamin Shaw 2004 May 28th 2004 1.28am

Written from the Heart 29/04/2004

Pleading with love...

Written from the Heart I haven’t ever felt so full… A feeling that is almost sickening, as thought its bursting to get out, I cry each night and yet it wont leave. I spend just one minute with her and it all seems better, the hours we spend apart are hell, I watch closely the lights on my phone, hoping that they might light up with her name, but they never seem to. She doesn’t love me, not me, no, not me. We spend time together and all seems complete, this feeling is new, scary, but fulfilling. Everything seems to me to be irrelevant in comparison; huge problems seem like nothing compared. She seems limitless; the joy she brings is truly incomprehendable. Only the text seems to make sense. Like a person it listens to my cries without judgement. How can you tell the only person you trust your biggest problem when the implications mean you loose her? What is there to be done, how can this feeling be released, perhaps its true, you cant just be friends with any girl. Its not possible to become close without falling in love, otherwise why become close? The tears begin to swell every time I hear her name, each time I wake I think of her first, she is the final thing in my thoughts at night before the weight of the torment forces my mind to close. My communication still straining, she commands and I bay at will. Is it her naivety that calls me? Or is it my own. Perhaps she already knows… sometimes I wonder. How can she not? And they wonder how she can stay as she is if she ...

Top 10 Love Songs 06/04/2004

Magenta feelings and hallowing emotions

Top 10 Love Songs Magenta feelings and hallowing emotions… Cuddling a Girl or Warming to an old friend… Feeling uplifted or weeping sweetly… All of which can be associated with the ever classic love song. Traditional, Elegant, sophisticated, yes the intrepid love song is an epic at any occasion, be it mood setting background music, or the sweetly awkward last dance where boy and girl meet the love song will never ever die, and so I bring to you… DC’s very own top 10 love songs! Songs to make any last dance a memorable one.  Drifting in at Number 10  ‘Be Like That’ by Three Doors Down. This is one of my absolute favourite songs; it’s had a little more coverage in the UK than many other songs by this band, primarily down to the fact that it was featured in the American Pie 2 Movie and Accompanying Soundtrack. ‘Be Like That’ is a story of how a man is dreaming of what he will never be, perhaps the idyllic fantasy of a girl. It describes the emotions and feelings of a very typical (and almost school boy like) dream of being something more or something different than what you are. I would most certainly describe this as a modern love song, containing that whiskey soaked sounding vocal that I absolutely adore, a sound that drives an immense passion and dramatic feelings into the pit of your stomach, climaxing to an explosion of emotions. As is my most preferred style of music, this is a very powerful and intense song, making immaculate use of the percussion and ...

Member advice on blood cancers 06/04/2004

Cancer - My Acceptance

Member advice on blood cancers <> Before You read on... One of the cancers in this review is a cancer which causes bloodcells to attack the lymphnodes, as such the catagory in which i have placed this opinion is relevent. Just to avoid an confusion on the matter. Thank You. Cancer – My acceptance Greetings… Two years on, and I am re-visiting a subject that I hoped I would never have to. See my review of ‘Cancer – Brain Tumour’ entitled ‘Her Life a Wonderful Memory’. I had always considered myself a strong human being, having faced a lot of traumas and still emerged smiling on the other side, alongside this I had also considered myself to be a good person, trying to be a likable human being – (often failing might I add) but still based the majority of my deeds around keeping at least myself if not someone else happy. Recent events in my life smashed all of these considerations far away from reality. A great mind once said, ‘I write when I’m unhappy, if I was happy I would be outside just being happy’ this now has more relevance to me than ever before. Soon perhaps you will understand why. Many of us live oblivious to the pain of others, the sufferance and pain that many endure is pushed to the back of our minds and left rot, not unlike the ones suffering ironically enough – It is this irony that I first wish to address… I myself used to be happy enough to live my life, and ignore the un-pleasantries that were (and still are) flaunted upon the society in which ...

Poetry 19/03/2004

Faceless

Poetry Faceless Here I am Sat on my chair I ponder my future… I listen to the music It seeps through my skin The soft tender sound eases the pain I shudder as the sound takes a hold of me I’m free For a moment I am away from here I am safe This is my struggle, My torture, My pain, My problem… I can’t explain what I feel I can only feel what I cant explain It makes sense to me, and yet it makes no sense at all. It is raining on my life Search for the man with the broken smile The broken soul The broken life I hide my face when I look into your eyes My once sparkling eyes now dull and lifeless Don’t knock at my door I don’t want to make you feel beautiful Should I stay a while? Should I make a while? Should I lay a while? Should I live a while? Perhaps it’s a chapter A chapter must end But what is the chapter? Is it the struggle… or is it a trend… After all… Isn’t there a final chapter? Someone else must know me… Someone else must hear me… I fear not… Look out of the window You see through the pooring rain? That’s me The one in the corner… Faceless. ©Benjamin Shaw – 25th February 2004

Kronenbourg 1664 04/10/2003

Kronenbourg - A Klass act

Kronenbourg 1664 Kronenbourg 1664 Lager = Well, I feel it my duty after bringing some fairly hard reading topics in the past, to bring to you something light, and frothy. Something a little bit different, something a little bit chilled out. I give you…. Kronenbourg 1664 Lager. Being as I work in a pub, much of my inspiration for writing comes from work, so as you have probably guessed, it is very hard for me to stay off the topic of beer for to long, my problem comes when I get to involved with other topics – i.e. Matchbox Twenty, but there I go ranting away to myself…. AGAIN! Back to the point, as one of our primary drinks is Kronenbourg I felt it fitting to review it. I myself enjoy a drink, and having tasted a great variety in my short time, I have to say I am most definitely an assured Lager drinker, and as such feel it to be rather befitting to bring you this opinion, Kronenbourg – A Krackin’ Pint. Cost = Kronenbourg is unfortunately I have to say one of the most expensive, costing upwards of £2.50. There are extreme fluctuations In this price however, dependent upon where you live or where you drink, for example – the cheapest I have ever found the Larger was at 99p per bottle in my local Netto, the most expensive I have ever found the drink was at a concert at Wembley Stadium where it was sold in bottles at £3.50. Usually it averages out around the £2.50 mark, but I assure you it is worth the extra 50pence. Vital Statistics Frothiness ------------- The froth that ...

Stuntman (PS2) 03/10/2003

Bash Smash Crash and Burn - The Disc that is

Stuntman (PS2) Stuntman… One of the most anticipated driving games to hit the Play Station 2. Unique, New, Bold, Long, Drawn out and very repetitive. As you can see I have very mixed feelings about this game, whilst its originality and fantastic graphics boast all the wonders of modern game play, it lacks any real finesse when played for any length of time. WHAT IS IT? Stuntman is a game released on the Play Station 2 aimed at gamers of any age; it’s a hard stunt simulation game from which you must race, jump, flip and explode your way through various Movies using nothing but your wits and skills as a stunt driver. Budgets are high and patience is low, so retakes are frowned upon. It’s a bid to be the best stunt driver in Hollywood. You must fight you way towards the James Bond style movie at the end where you will be pitted on busy highways with fast cars. The stunt arena section is definitely one of the games best qualities where you are given the opportunity to bash and smash your way though burning rings of fire, and other cars, you are shot out of cannons along with an assortment of other tasty little stunts. Stuntman Features a variety of Vehicles including a Snow Ski, a Tuc Tuc, A double seated motorbike, a tank, and various sports cars. Whilst driving through a movie scene, you are given tasks through your headset a few seconds before you undertake them. Timing is an essential part of the game, too fast and you will miss the camera shots, too slow and you will run out of ...

Matchbox20fans.com 03/10/2003

Matchbox Twenty Fans UK - MB20 Find a UK Home

Matchbox20fans.com Yes… It’s that time again fellow ciao’ers, time for another Matchbox Twenty review from DC. This time its from cyber land… Matchbox20fans.com. I feel this one is going to me one of my favourite ops to date, the special thing is that, its my site:-D. It’s all mine, and now I get to come on here and blow my own trumpet at you all. Ha-ha. Well… where to begin, where to begin well I suppose there is no better place than the history of the band. For anyone that hasn’t ever read one of my previous Matchbox Twenty reviews Matchbox Twenty are an American Indy-rock band from Orlando, Florida. Integrating Soul, Funk, Rhythm and Blues MB20 continue to strive towards the musical guru in the sky. Consisting of five members, Rob, Kyle, Adam, Paul and Brian the band are pretty typical of your American ruff cut group – like so many others (the Dave Mathews band springs to mind) the never managed to make much of an impact over here, even with the release of 3 new singles and a new album, not to mention a European Tour and several TV Ad campaigns, it would seem us UK die hard fans just weren’t meant to share the glory with them. This is where matchbox20fans.com comes in… Matchbox20fans.com is primarily aimed at UK fans of Matchbox Twenty, Tabitha’s Secret, or The Individual Guys themselves – Matchbox20fans.com has something for everyone interested in Rob and the Guys. Before I go on I will just introduce you all to Tabitha’s Secret. Tabitha’s Secret is where three of the five current ...

Top 10 Websites 02/10/2003

Tip Of The Tops - Be Webwise

Top 10 Websites Ooo… What an intriguing way to drag you all down further into the dark underbelly of the life that is me… oh yes, I think this one is going to be very fitting, not only do I get to haunt you with such crude subjects as my top ten turn-ons but I get to flaunt my seedy internet recreational enjoyment at you as well. Ok Ok…. I hear you, get on with it you shout… well I guess I should, hear it is ** Drum Roll Please** DC’s Top Ten websites of all time… TEN www.bored.com This one isn’t a bad one to burn 20 minutes or so, a collection of links summarised in one word “Bored”. So very true as well – unfortunately this really is the site you think of as you sit at your computer trying to remember why the hell you pay an internet subscription fee when its SOOOOOOOOOOOO boring. One or two interesting links to be found lingering around the archives – “A day in the life of a MacDonalds worker” and “The lemonade Game” are to name but a few. Still, if that tickles your fancy it might be worth a gander. NINE www.neopets.com Yes, I know what you are all thinking, isn’t that, that ridiculous virtual adopt a pet site and you would be right, but I really cannot stress to you how good the site is once you begin to use it. Whilst it is aimed primarily at the early teen generation of internet user I still find ours of pleasure from the various features it has to offer. Hundereds of flash games, some of which are very compelling – such as Cheat or Poker. The batteldome is also one in a ...

Everything that starts with C ... 29/09/2003

Benjies Back Baby - Rediscovering Ciao

Everything that starts with C ... Benjies Back Baby…. Yes it’s true, it’s true, your eyes are not deceiving you, it’s really me, the original DC and after my six month absence I feel fresh and rejuvenated enough to grace you all with my presence once more, can’t promise how long it will be for, the old College work really starting to take a toll on my time, but as you have probably guessed, I couldn’t stay away. Many of you may not remember me; I arrived here following recommendations from my friends at Bigrag.com, after reading my reviews directly about the site Bigrag and hearing of my comments regarding the major lack of community spirit on the site, one of my fellow writers directed me here to ciao.co.uk – and might I take this opportunity to say how pleased I am that she did. Whilst I am unable to give the time that I want to the rich community that ciao has become, I am still proud to be a member and still pleased to be able to come on here and discuss issues I feel are important, even if you think I am stark raving bonkers… Well that’s a matter of opinion I guess. You may all be thinking to yourselves, why the heck is this strange individual going on like a sentimental old fool but I felt the need to mark the returning of the DC man. A lot of my friends have come and gone in the last six months, I can only hope that like me, they will be back after a break refreshed and ready to give you all hell, ha ha ha. Not all is lost however, whilst it is true that some of my original ciao friends have left ...

Microsoft Publisher 2000 2000 Complete package 06/02/2003

Publisize your world

Microsoft Publisher 2000 2000 Complete package Comparison of Different Media ---- Publisher was originally intended to work in desktop publishing – newsletters, leaflets, fliers… but it has now developed a lot and can create just about anything. If, for example, you want an advert template, it’s there. Each software application is designed for a specific task, in the case of many software applications; they are capable of assisting a user in any number of different tasks. An example of this being Microsoft Word. Microsoft Word is primarily based with the Microsoft Office suite and thus comes with a large number of additives such as “*clip art” and “*word art”. Being so versatile has made it one of the most widely used software applications to date. In this case, as an example, I will contrast the two applications “Microsoft Word” and “Microsoft Publisher”. These two applications are both capable of producing graphical pieces of work, written work and a number of other documents, both can be used along side each other and alongside other applications. Ultimately, as with all software packages each software is still more powerful and more versatile in one area. ---- For the production of a poster, both software packages would be adequate to suffice the needs for production of such a document. Microsoft Word offers the simple additions of a boarder and the quick and easy insertion of words and text. Text boxes can be used and picture formats can be altered allowing desired ...

Microsoft PowerPoint 2000 Licence 31/01/2003

Power up your PC

Microsoft PowerPoint 2000 Licence Microsoft PowerPoint is a powerful and innovative presentation software primarily available with the Microsoft Office Suite. The application allows the simple and easy creation of professional slide shows that can be used along side and speech or talk. Provides a useful learning aid to students when being lectured and helps make presentations more interesting. Using PowerPoint… The PowerPoint Wizard starts up upon opening the application and provides a simple easy to understand introduction to the software. Ideal for first time users as it cuts out a lot of the complicated editation tools. The Wizard makes using PowerPoint very quick as entire Presentations can be knocked up in just a few hours. Alternatively for more advanced users the opening wizard can be bypassed completely allowing the user to work from a blank page, effectively putting the user in complete control. The simple instruction/tutorial that continues throughout work on this application is a valued tool as it helps create exciting new effects within the program and enables new users to the software to get to grips with the advanced tools within it. Using PowerPoint… When using PowerPoint, the prospect can seem a little daunting, especially when used to simple software applications such as Microsoft Word, or even not used to computers at all. Alongside the Wizard and tutorials, there is always the Microsoft help tool, simple to use and easy to understand, type in a question, and the trusty ...

More Than You Think You Are - Matchbox Twenty 22/01/2003

More than a Match Made in Heaven

More Than You Think You Are - Matchbox Twenty The latest instalment of Matchbox Twenty… The long awaited third album from the band. The media attention has slowly grown around the band in America and other countries around the globe and with the climatic release of the unusual track “Disease” it seems that Matchbox Twenty’s popularity has never been better. So many artists release albums and singles and such an intoxicating rate that they become boring and dated very quickly, Matchbox Twenty I have to say are NOT a victim of such an injustice. The band slowly pumps out albums and singles and in the 7 years they have been around they have released only three albums – Yourself or Someone Like You, Mad Season, and now “More Than You Think You Are”. This long awaited triumph has been something I have had my eye on for the last seven months. As I’m sure many of you will know I first came across Matchbox Twenty about a year ago following the accidental download of the song “Real World”. This song enthralled me for some months when I made the decision to not bother downloading any more from the band and to merely run down to the nearest music shop and purchase the first two albums. I began my research on Matchbox Twenty following listening to the albums, my mission, to find out weather the band was still in full swing, or weather like my other idols “Savage Garden” they had ceased action and thrown in the microphone. The Second album “Mad ...

Everything that starts with D ... 09/12/2002

Dreams

Everything that starts with D ... Following my brief break from ciao, and after thinking long and hard about my next op and its subject, i came to the conclusion that this would be a good time to write you a little poem of my feelings regarding the topic of dreams...a more solus poem granted, but one I feel has meaning and depth. It vents my emotions as regards to the world we inhabit and the forces that inhabit us, it speaks not of my actual "dreams" but of my view of dreams and other such notions. One i hope you will find slightly confusing and unethical, for if it was a mere striate forward toleration I highly doubt you would take on board its message. I wish for you to gain wisdom from my mistakes, I present to you "Dreams" by Desolate Cash. Dreams Feelings and passion are mere hopes and dreams for me. Its all going to end, and so why should we bother. I think I’m just lonely. Maybe that’s the reasoning for my pessimistic views of the earth that we inhabit. Wow, what a gift, the gift of life, excuse me for my sarcasm, but I just don’t share the notion that life is a gift. I think it’s a cruel joke that has been forced upon us. Look at me, messenger to my own mind and unable to stop myself. As though I am being used like someone’s puppet. I am abused by the world, and yet I abuse the world. I can’t help it. It’s just an unstoppable occurrence, like the sun going down or even coming up. The sun is still rising upon my life, so then while do I feel like ...

Microsoft MSN Messenger 12/11/2002

YO ASL CU L8A WB ASAP LOL DC

Microsoft MSN Messenger The definitive teen chat software of the young internet user’s generation. Primarily used by 13-17 year olds Microsoft’s .net passport system really is the tip of the tops. I personally would not recommend a hotmail/ msn account, but time and time again I force myself to use it in order to be able to use MSN Messenger. Msn Messengers Prime Function… No doubt the majority of you will have already heard of this and I am willing to bet that the majority of you have used this software. But for those who have not, I will describe its functions. The MSN Messenger service is created in order to allow friends and colleagues to chat over the internet. People can meet, and view profiles of other people all with out visiting a chat room which can often be riveting with perverts looking to have “cyber sex” with young children. I myself when I was younger was asked to meet up with a 40 year old man in an Internet chat room, fortunately I had the education and common sense to ignore his request and promptly leave the chat room. Unfortunately there are the odd one or two perverts that use deceptive means to gain a childs email address in order to speak with them on msn, the blocking function allows a specific email address to be blocked preventing you receiving emails from them and preventing them from speaking to you. MSN messenger not only has revolutionised internet conservationism, but has saved parents money on phone bills, children no longer spend every minute of the day ...
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