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since 01/12/2010


Michael - Michael Jackson 09/04/2011

Once again, the professional critics get it mind-bogglingly wrong

Michael - Michael Jackson Let’s be honest – critics hated this album. They saw it as an easy way to cash in on Michael’s legacy. In a way it is. Should we cash in on his songs after he died? Some people they never got his approval and the producers had to use every trick in the book to get the songs sounding like they do. Others say that Michael would have wanted his songs to be released for his fans. But that’s another review. For this one, I’ve listened to the song frequently and hopefully this should be a non-biased, no lies review on the first of many posthumous albums from the King of Pop. Hold My Hand The single that went highest in the charts (but only because it was the most played and because it had Akon in it), #3 on the UK R&B Charts, it features Akon in a bid to appeal to ‘the kids’. It almost doesn’t work, but, despite being incredibly cheesy (‘Take my hand, don't let go, baby hold me’?), it sort of works. The ‘whoo’s at the end are the highlight of the song which is mainly aimed at bubblegum-pop loving children. 7/10 Hollywood Tonight This is more like it! The traditional Michael Jackson song; quick rhythm, easy to dance to, lyrics that you only hear half of and fill it in with what you heard with disastrous consequences? Could only be Michael. Also has a cool little rap in the middle spoken by Michael’s nephew Taryll and MJ himself beat boxing at the beginning and end. One of the songs that should have got at least Top 10 but didn’t get enough publicity. 8.5/10 Keep Your Head Up The ...

Man In the Mirror - Michael Jackson (Single) 05/04/2011

The MJ song that everyone knows and loves; and it's 20 years old!

Man In the Mirror - Michael Jackson (Single) Man in the Mirror was written by Siedah Garret in 1988 and included Siedah, The Winans and the Andrae Crouch Choir as backup singers. When it was first published in the same year, it peaked at 21 in the UK Singles Chart but, when Michael sadly passed away in 2009, it shot up to 2. It was the song that did best in the charts after his death, and rightly so. One of the few problems with Man in the Mirror is that, for a song about giving and making the world a better place, there are a few too many hoo’s and aow’s. This may sound a little pathetic, but he could’ve have toned it down a little bit to show that he really cared. The main reason he would have put them in in the first place, would have been to get a better chart performance and to make people like it more, and it was at the time (late 80s) when he let a couple off every minute or so in whatever song he sang, but we’re talking about world peace here! Also, some of the lyrics don’t really make any sense, like ‘A summers disregard, a broken bottle top’. What is that meant to mean? He doesn’t make it clear as he jumps from singing quietly with few backup singers to him screaming the words with Siedah and both choirs fully behind him. But to be honest, I’m just nitpicking. There are a few loose ends from the lyrics, but most are really good and show what sort of man he is, like ‘cause when you close your heart, you can’t close your mind’. An absolutely beautiful line of the song, in which there are many. I especially ...

Stand By Me (DVD) 05/04/2011

Best line ever - Oh God. That is weird. What the hell is Goofy?

Stand By Me (DVD) The eighties were a time of new things. Pac-man (one of the most known games ever), the marriage of Princess Diana (one of the most loved princesses ever) and the video of Thriller (one of the best music-videos ever) all happened in the decade that also saw The Simpsons (one of the most known shows ever) first air. Of course, it wasn’t all sunshine and lollipops, as the eighties were the beginning of the AIDs pandemic and the decade when John Lennon was assassinated. But each decade has had its own fair share of tragedy. The ‘Noughties’, as the Daily Mail will no doubt refer to it, did give us Justin Bieber, did it not? But amongst all of this, a certain film came out that made me laugh, think and then almost throw up. The film’s called Stand by Me and is set in 1959, when Rockin’ Robin by Bobby Day was the equivalent of Fight for this Love by Cheryl Cole. The casting for Stand by Me is rather obscure, apart from River Phoenix, who plays Chris Chambers and Keifer Sutherland who, not only plays Ace Merrill, but would later do the voicing – wait for it! – Sgt. Roebuck in Call of Duty: World at War! With the rest of the cast less well known than the Slovakian national football team, you would expect the performance to be alright; 2.5 out of 5 stars tops. And you’d be... WRONG. It’s not that Stand by Me is by any means an exciting film, one that has you gripped to your seat. Oh no, the most exciting bit in the film is where they cross a bridge – 100ft up – which (surprise, ...

Electric Avenue - Eddy Grant (Single) 03/04/2011

This song is electrifying!

Electric Avenue - Eddy Grant (Single) Electric Avenue is a song by Eddy Grant and was released in 1982. It quickly reached #2 on both the UK and the US single charts and no-one knows yet why it didn’t get to #1. It was included on Eddy’s Killer on the Rampage and has sold over a million singles to date. The first thing I’ve got to say about this song is that some of the lyrics are slightly weird. ‘An’ an’ I can’t blame all on the Sun’? I have no idea what that means and I’ll be damned if I’m going to find out. But apart from that, most of the lyrics make sense and, more than that, still strike a chord today. ‘Now in the street there is violence’, ‘Can’t get food for them kid’ and ‘They still can’t feed everyone’ still make sense today, almost 30 years after the song first came out, proving that the more we move forwards, the more it is like the past. I may have just made that up, but it applies to this song very nicely To be honest, most of the lyrics either come from random ‘Out in the street’ lines or are from the chorus. This is no bad thing, as it is a brilliant chorus, sung very well and with ten times the passion as anything Simon Cowell has ever advertised. Anyway, enough of the lyrics, because from the moment you hear this song, you can just tell it’s going to be great. Starting off like any other 80s single with the simple drum beat and a quick riff, it catapults itself into stardom with Eddy shouting ‘BOY, a motorbike being revved suddenly and the background reggae-sounding music blasting on. Then when ...

All Time Low - The Wanted (Single) 02/04/2011

A pop song with the beginning of an opera song!

All Time Low - The Wanted (Single) All Time Low was released in the UK on the 25th July and quickly shot to number one in the UK, but didn’t even reach the Top 10 in Ireland. Still, forgetting that Ireland’s second most successful music act is that of Enya, the song did well and stayed in the Top 40 for 16 consecutive weeks and then returning for a quick 17th. This baffled chart experts (how much do you not want to spend a weekend with them?) because it was, apparently, another short-lived ‘boyband’ type song that would shoot up and then drop down faster than a cheetah with a rocket stuffed up its butt. This was not just another quick chart hit though, for many reasons. How many number one pop songs have a beginning that would fit into an Andrea Bocelli CD? Possibly the best bit of the song is the first fifteen seconds of it, and if I was ever to meet Steve Mac, the strings arrangement who was the brains behind the beginning, i would be in pieces. And that’s not even to say the rest of the song is rubbish. Although the lyrics ‘Praying won’t do it, hating won’t do it, drinking won’t do it’ are very repetitive and you would expect that sort of style to get boring, it sort of doesn’t. The refreshing thing with All Time Low is that you can actually hear all of the lyrics, and if they actually did use autotune, they did it more subtle than most – I’m looking at you Ke$ha. And, although some of the lyrics at the beginning of the stanzas might get a bit boring after a minute or so, there are actually some proper ...

Nou Camp - Barcelona F.C., Barcelona 20/03/2011

100,000 people can't be wrong!

Nou Camp - Barcelona F.C., Barcelona Camp Nou, or The Nou Camp as it can be called, was constructed in 1957 and had always been the home of FC Barcelona. It can seat up to 99,354, making it, by far and away, the biggest stadium in Europe and the 14th biggest in the world by capacity. Old Trafford, San Siro and Wembley can only hold 76,212, 80,074 and 90,000 respectively. Its official name was Estadi del FC Barcelona (FC Barcelona Stadium in English) until 2000, when the club members voted to formally adopt the popular nickname Camp Nou. To celebrate the fiftieth anniversary of the stadium, the club is seeking to increase the seating capacity by 13,500, with at least half of the total seating to be under cover. Should these renovations be completed, the stadium will be the third largest in the world, after the Rungrado May Day Stadium in North Korea and the Salt Lake Stadium in India, 150,000 and 120,000 respectively. Many football events have been held at the FIFA-recognised ‘elite stadium’, most recently the UEFA Champions League Finals, between Manchester United and Bayern Munich, and was used as one of the venues for the 1992 Summer Olympics and the 1982 FIFA World Cup. And it’s not only football-related things that are held at Camp Nou. Julio Iglesias played for 60,000 in 1983, Bruce Springsteen played there on August 3rd 1988, The Three Tenors played there on July 13th 1997 and the U2 360° Tour started there on July 1st 2009. Even Michael Jackson played there to 95,000 people on August 9th 1988 during his ...

Manchester United 05/12/2010

More money than the Queen and probably more known!

Manchester United Ah, an old classic. The most known team in the world. The team with the most 'fans'. The team every little boy and girl knows. And the funny thing is... They’re not that good! They may be second in the Premier League by one point (behind Arsenal) with one game to play, against Blackpool, but they should be first. They’ve had draws with Manchester City (almost reasonable...) West Bromwich Albion F.C. (nowhere near reasonable!) and actually almost drew with Wolverhampton Wanderers F.C. They got a very lucky goal, in the dying moments of the game thanks to Park Ji-Sung. They were also actually 2-0 down to West Brom, but scored twice in the last ten minutes to claim a point. The problem with Man Utd is that they’re not the force they once were. 10 years ago, every struggling footballer wanted to play for Man U. Now if they want to play with world-class players, they play for Barcelona, Inter Milan or Real Madrid. If they want to play it safe they’ll choose Chelsea or Arsenal. And if they want lots of cash, they’ll consider Manchester City! Man Utd were interested in Mesut Özil and Kaka, but they ended up going to Real Madrid. They also showed an interest in Joe Cole, but he went to Liverpool. Then there are the players who are struggling. Rooney’s a shadow of the man he once was, having scored just once in the current season and that was a penalty. Javier Hernández (I refuse to call him Chicarito) doesn’t have enough experience as a United player and he seems to like ...

Can't Be Tamed - Miley Cyrus (Single) 03/12/2010

Not her most original, but one of her best

Can't Be Tamed - Miley Cyrus (Single) Miley Cyrus started out on the TV show Hanna Montana. Three seasons later and Miley was becoming famous for being Miley, not Hannah. She’s now a proper singing star, with at least 6 top-twenty singles and three albums that all sold reasonably well. And her latest offering may just be up with her best. Can’t Be Tamed has a fantastic drum line, some great sound synthesizers but is let down slightly with its lyrics. For one, at a few points, the lyrics aren’t very good.” I'm not here to sell ya, or tell ya to get to Hell” Just for the record Miley, you can’t make ‘sell ya’ rhyme with ‘Hell’. She tries to do that again with ‘I can get a bit crazy, have to get my way, 24 hours a day’. She could have gone with ‘way, see’ and then maybe topped it with ‘a day – hee!’ but Miley doesn’t play that game! The song itself won’t have taken long to write, as half of the lyrics are ‘I can’t be tamed’ followed by either blamed, changed or repeated again , but louder, with a higher pitch or with more exasperation. But of course there are quite a lot of good points. Even though some lyrics are mindless and ridiculous, a few lines are little gems, hidden among the cud of the rest song. Lines like, ‘I'm like a puzzle, but all of my pieces are jagged. If you can understand this, we can make some magic’. Sure, once again it doesn’t rhyme in the slightest, but whoever wrote those lines have a sense of humour. And the way she sings some of the verses is incredible. You’d think if you just heard ...

Party Girl - McFly (Single) 03/12/2010

Forget soulful ballads, Party Girl is more pop/dance music!

Party Girl - McFly (Single) The McFly I knew is long gone; killed off by one song. Before I reviewed Party Girl, I thought McFly were just a happy-go-lucky band and one that stopped making ‘alright music' long ago. I was dead wrong! Party Girl is the end of the old McFly, the boring and slightly rigid McFly, and the beginning of the new McFly, who sound like competition to Lady Gaga and Rihanna now. You couldn’t have said that 4 years ago, that’s for sure! In a tradition of mine dating back a couple of reviews; I’ll start with the bad points of the single. One of the main problems I have with the song is that it’s too repetitive. It seems like they’re always singing ‘She’s a party girl’ and ‘Woaaah, Woaaah, Woaaah!’ Overall the lyrics are refreshingly good for modern music, with one of my favourite lines being ‘If looks could kill, then we’d be all doomed’ but as soon as they’ve finished singing that another singer (possibly Tom or Dougie) comes and starts singing some stupid lyrics about mind control and prison. It also sounds like he’s got a bit of auto-tune going on! And actually, it’s fairly original; it’s the start of the new McFly so it would have to be. McFly songs of old were basically clones of Busted and Backstreet Boyz, but now they’re actually doing something differently! And now for the pros; I loved it. If I was a McFly fan, made to suffer all these years by songs that weren’t as good as they should have been, I would be over the moon with how good Party Girls sounded. I’m not a ...

Take It Off - Ke$ha (Single) 03/12/2010

Take It Off is both moronic and magical!

Take It Off - Ke$ha (Single) Ke$ha has sprung up from nothing to making music videos in the space of not even two years. She started getting airplay on various radio stations thanks to Tik Tok, which was a good, catchy song that made you want to party. Unlike other female singers (Duffy, Miley Cyrus) she has remains true to her, rather short, roots and stayed in the dance/electro section of music. Her new single is the most unoriginal, stupid and worthless song I’ve heard from her. It’s about as original as Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 and the lyrics are as mindless as anything to come out of a 9 year olds bedroom. “There's a place I know if you're looking for a show. Where they go hardcore and there's glitter on the floor” I wonder how long it took her to write those lyrics? What I want to know is why glitter is all of a sudden hardcore. Unfortunately, apart from being as unoriginal as water, some of the lyrics are also pretty stupid. “Got my drunk text on, I'll regret it in the morn - in' The gap she leaves between morn and in is supposed to show that she tried hard making morn and on rhyme, but then she had to say ‘in’ otherwise she’d sound like a clot. Mission accomplished in my book. Ke$ha also seems to have left the auto-tune on for most of the song, because when she sings “I don’t give a...” not only does she forget to finish her sentence, but her voice suddenly goes to really deep. Is that because she can’t really sing, or because it sounds cool? You decide. But apart from being ...

Michael Jackson - This Is It (DVD) 03/12/2010

not quite the moonwalking-master he was, but not bad for 50!

Michael Jackson - This Is It (DVD) Whilst we mere mortals were working, playing and sleeping in the spring and early summer of 2009, there was a massive tour just waiting to be finished. This was Michael Jackson's This Is It tour, the most important tour he'd ever do and one that was going to properly cement him as one of the all time greats. Michael's problem was that not enough people saw Michael as an amazing singer/dancer/song-writer, more an utter weirdo who had long since lost his magic. This tour was going to change all that. And then, just weeks before it would have happened, Michael died and Sony were distraught. Without Michael, how were they going to make money out of this whole thing? And then it hit them: get all the shots and videos of Michael working on his This Is It tour and then gather them together into a film. From there on in, it was all about the money. Michael may have been adamant he was doing all this for L.O.V.E, but Sony weren't going to let such a big opportunity pass them by. So they did what their wallets wanted and created Michael Jackson's This Is It DVD to show the world that 1) Michael still had had it in him before he died 2) That This Is It would have been the biggest and best tour ever and 3) That not even the death of their superstar was going to stop them making millions out of him. Mission accomplished. There are some good bits in This Is It. In fact, there are quite a lot, certainly more good than bad. The Smooth Criminal sequence brought back out my love of ...

Billie Jean - Michael Jackson (Single) 02/12/2010

The most famous drum beginning in the history of pop!

Billie Jean - Michael Jackson (Single) Billie Jean surely proves that Michael Jackson was a genius. Not only for singing it beautifully, but he actually wrote and composed it! I really am reviewing royalty with Billie Jean. One of the most known songs ever, sung by one of the most known singers ever. He really was at the peak of his performance with this; he was known as Jackson not Jacko, he wasn't thought of as a paedophile or a weirdo and absolutely everybody loved both him and his music. This song has one of the best beginnings of any song out there, it gets better in the middle and by the end you just want to play it again and again and in my opinion, apart from Smooth Criminal, it has the most known, and best, bass line of any of his songs. Funnily enough, this isn't my favourite song of his, not at all. And yet every time i hear it i just want to dance! The way the drum starts off, then the bass, then the special-effects sounding noises and then finally Michael himself is all completely perfect. The way the song is layered is impossible to fault and his Hee's and Hoo's are flawless. If you don't like this song you are just mental, it's as simple as that! At this point i really should write some criticisms so here goes: You can't hear all lyrics - but who actually gives a stuff? It's possibly too short (4:55)! And that’s it about it!The song is practicaly perfect and is played at least once a week on 90% of the worlds radios. That's how amazing the song is!

Lynx Africa Deodorant 02/12/2010

Smells good, but a bit of a let-down

Lynx Africa Deodorant I've always been a fan of Lynx, but I don't know why. Maybe it's because the adverts are always so good, maybe because everyone like Lynx, maybe even because they l;ooked good. When everyone talked about Lynx, they always mentioned Lynx Africa. People said it was the best-smelling and that it worked the best as well. At that time, i was using Click, which was good, but smelt a bit lemony. Then i changed to Vice Dry, which was even better, but stung when you first sprayed it on. After that, i finally got some Africa, and can i just say, compared to the others, it looked a bit boring. To me, Click looked futuristic and cool as a cucumber with it's blue, interlocking, triangular crystals and Vice Dry looked a little psycho with 'VICE' looking like it was drawn in blood and eccentric black and red lines going all over the place. And those two were the more normal of the Lynx family; a family where the explosions of Fever and the searing green light with bubbles of Recover are considered only slightly offbeat. And then there was Africa. Which has three lion-like lines ripping through 'Lynx'. Oh did i mention they're red and green. Sounds like more Christmas than Cool. Still, maybe if it worked really well, it wouldn't matter what it looked like. Retrospectively, that was like thinking that if a model modelled really well then nobody would care what she looked like! The first time i tried it, it tingled a little bit but soon enough felt like it wasn't even there. So far, so ...

ZTE F102 02/12/2010

If you're on budget, try it - but try not to!

ZTE F102 Just one thing to clear things up; this isn't my phone. This is my brothers. He got it for his birthday and he's always on it. Except, he isn't. The damn thing usually freezes and he has to come to me to get the back off so he can take out the battery (he chewed off all his nails, whereas i haven't, so i can actually do it). The people at The Carphone Warehouse say that to solve the problem he shouldn't use the internet so much or he should buy a memory card, but that's not right. When i buy a phone i don't want it to freeze just because i go on Hotmail a lot. And telling my brother to buy a memory card when he's saving up for a PS3 is just not right. It shouldn't freeze at all! Another fault with the phone is that it makes the most annoying noise when you are trying to use it. I've heard my brother, texting quickly (like he always does) in his bedroom, from downstairs and I’ve just wanted to go upstairs and smash the thing to pieces! Then there's the battery life, which barely lasts a day, and taking a picture takes ages as it's really quite confusing! And in a an age where touch screens are the only way to go, the ZTE F102’s tiny little screen just isn’t good enough. Annoyingly, there are some advantages. It's almost cheaper than water, at only £20, and has a massive internal memory. 128 MB is over 4 times the amount that my LG has (go read about that review after this!). Best of all, you can use the phone as a mobile internet dongle, allowing you to surf the internet ...

Dangerous - Michael Jackson 02/12/2010

32 million records - it should have been more...

Dangerous - Michael Jackson In a rare interview in 1989, Michael Jackson was reminded of his massive success in the past decade. Most of his singles of Off The Wall came out in 1980, he released Thriller in 1982 and the video of Thriller in 1984 and then released Bad in 1987. The interviewer asked how he better all that, which Michael responded with, "if you think that's great, just wait. You ain't seen nothing yet!" In my opinion, Dangerous was the pinnacle of his voice and moves. All you need to do is listen to the first single of Dangerous, Jam, and you know what i mean. Michael goes from singing quietly, almost with venom in his voice, to full on roaring away. And don't even get me started on the beat. If you put this on in a graveyard, the corpses would come out of their graves and start dancing to the beat! Then there's the heavy rock of Why You Wanna Trip On Me, the modern feel of She Drives Me Wild and the album's biggest hit, Black or White, which features Slash doing a guitar solo and is one of the albums best songs. But that record would have to go to the title track, which was never released, Dangerous. It has a cagey feel that yu just can'y get from another artist. And then when it gets into full swing, it all comes together in an array of genius. The album should have sold more than it did, but Michael got into some trouble with molestation allegations. What it should have, however, is a spot on your CD collection or iPod. If you can get the music-videos as well you are a lucky, lucky ...
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