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32 from Glasgow, love films - so you'll probably only ever see me write about them lol

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since 08/03/2004


Scream 4 (DVD) 19/04/2011

A scary movie without the scary

Scream 4 (DVD) FILM ONLY REVIEW: Originally posted on dooyoo You can usually count on Hollywood to tell you they are making the ultimate finale in a horror series, only to reveal that it is only a prequel to the ultimate finale. I highly doubt that if this hits box office paydirt, that this will the last entry either. Therefore, expect Scream 109 along in about 80 years time. For now, number 4 comes along a decade after Ghostface made his last appearance. Returning to the helm of the series is director Wes Craven and writer Kevin Williamson. Williamson certainly filled a gap in the market with his tongue-in-cheek take on teenage slasher movies, whilst Craven is one of the most accomplished horror director's of his time. Is there still a market though for a movie that brings back together the base team that made the original trilogy work so well? More to the point, is it any good? Sidney Prescott has returned to Woodsbro, bizarrely, to market her new survivor book "Out Of Darkness". Since her last daliance with a slew of serial killers, misery memoirs have certainly saturated the real life bookstores, so it is no surprise that this provides the basis of her return. Branded "Angel Of Death" by her, previously unmentioned, cousin and her friends, Sidney finds that not everybody is pleased to see her back. Death follows Sidney as surely as Dewey and Gail Weathers do. Meanwhile, Hollywood continue to bang out "Stab" movies at a two yearly rate, abandoning the "reel life" tale of Sidney ...

88 Minutes DVD 23/09/2009

88 minutes of DVD action

88 Minutes DVD In his last umpteen films, I've found Al Pacino supremely irritating. Its been years since he done a film worthy of his early talent, and its been even longer since he done a film where he didn't spend the entire time shouting his way through his lines. Maybe the old fella has become a bit deaf. It was surprising then that I found his performance in 88 minutes a slight return to form, even if the film itself wasn't entirely fantastic. In it, Pacino plays a forensic doctor who lectures at the local university. He is a highly regarded expert in his field and is often called upon to give his expert opinion on murder cases. The film opens 9 years in the past, where Doctor Jack Gramm assists in the conviction of a man who is accused of attacking twin sisters. Whilst one of the sisters died, the other manages to escape with relatively few surface scares. She becomes an unreliable eye witness in the court proceedings, assisting in the conviction of her sister's accused killer. After the accused, Jon Forster, is sentenced to death and locked away, we are forwarded to the present day. Gramm is called upon once again when the murders begin again. The method in which the victims are trussed up with rope and sliced to death is exactly the same as the original victim. Gramm is convinced that it is a copycat and not the same killer. After all, Forster is still locked away and awaiting execution. However, a few other powers cast doubt over the conviction and indeed, the good doctor's ...

Doctor Who - Voyage Of The Damned DVD 08/04/2008

Third Christmas Outing for Who?

Doctor Who - Voyage Of The Damned DVD The christmas edition of Doctor Who is now almost as much a part of the television tradition as Its A Wonderful Life or The Wizard Of Oz. Now on its third outing, as a companion to the BBC series, 2007's christmas special of Doctor Who was entitled Voyage Of The Damned and saw the Doctor's Tardis crashing into the bow of the doomed ocean liner Titanic. The Titanic was a real life ship that was initially deemed unsinkable. However, on its maiden voyage in 1912, the Titanic hit an iceberg and sank and killed 1517 passengers. When the Doctor stows onto the ship, he finds that this isn't the ocean liner though, but in fact a space age replica that has rested just upon the Earth's axis. This Titanic plays host to a group off oddmark alien beings, many of whom are looking forward to their first trip to Earth. When the ship suddenly comes under fire from an unknown source, the Doctor has to lead himself and a small group of misfits to safety. But it isn't only external danger they find themselves in as Max Capricorn, the ship's owner, unleashes his formidable robots name "the hosts" to destroy the survivors. Among the Doctors companions is a waitress named Astrid. Astrid is a dreamer who wants to explore the universe, and relishes the prospect of a trip to earth. She's a noble companion to the Doctor as she is willing to risk her life to save those she cares for. He is also joined by the nice but dim Van Hoff couple, who won their trip to earth, and simply cant stop eating. ...

Escape From Witch Mountain/Return To Witch Mountain (DVD) 03/04/2008

Escapism for 90 minutes

Escape From Witch Mountain/Return To Witch Mountain (DVD) Some of you will probably relate to this. You know how you get a film that you watched as a kid, and you can only remember snippets of it. You can never remember the name of the film either, but you know you loved it. And then years later, you accidently come across it again. Well "Escape to..." is one of those films for me. I was probably about 7 the first time I ever saw it. And I always recalled this film about a telekinetic brother and sister who are running away from something, I just couldn't remember the name of it. Then a couple of weeks ago, my sister picked it up in Asda for about £3 for my niece. Tia and Tony have just been shipped to an ophanage after the death of their most recent foster parents. Very quickly, they discover that they have extraordinary powers that allow them not only to communicate with each other without speaking, but also allows them to envisage things that are about to happen. When they accidently save the life of the mysterious Deranian, they find themselves at the mercy of his ruthless boss, Aristotle Bolt. He is a greedy millionaire who wants to harness their powers and use it for his gain. Soon, Tia and Tony are on the run, as they find themselves drawn to Witch Mountain. Witch Mountain holds the key to their real identity's, and to the secret of their powers. But can they beat Deranian, as he hunts them down in order to bring them back to Aristotle. Some things are better left fondly in your childhood. Like Wispa's, The Atari, or ...

Jason X (DVD) 02/04/2008

Jason In Space

Jason X (DVD) Opening with a sequence set in the not too distant future, unstoppable killer Jason Vorhees is being held captive by a group of scientists at the Crystal Lake Research Facility. They've discovered that Jason has an unheard of ability to regenerate skin tissue, therefore explaining his inability to die. However, when he escapes, he and one remaining scientist are criogenically frozen for 300 years. Once aboard a spaceship of potential victims in the 25th century, Jason unleashes carnage on a new spate of big breasted beauty's. When they attempt to defeat him once again, Jason is revitalised by a machine that turns human's into almighty cyborgs, and so begins a fight to the death in space. The Friday 13th franchise has never been famous for its plot, nor its consistent narrative, so to say that film number 10 is the best of a bad bunch is an understatement. The futuristic spin given to this series of films works effectively enough to tide the few daft Friday fans over until such times as New Line Cinema were able to get Jason on the big screen with fellow studio monster Freddy Krueger. The greatest problem with X is that it plays like an expensive looking porn film. Breasts and butts are thrown at the screen as vastly and quickly as knives and various other contraptions designed for a quick dispatch of the irritating cast. The other problem is that Jason wanders about at will without any respect for the rules, or the cliche's, of the genre. There may have been very ...

Very Best of Cher [Warner Bros #2] - Cher 27/03/2008

Cher's Greatest Hits...again

Very Best of Cher [Warner Bros #2] - Cher To accompany her neverending farewell tour (come on Cher, just say cheerio and be done with it), in 2003 Cher released another of her Greatest Hits collections. The tracklisting rarely varies on her collections, but you cant blame an old bird for trying when she really cant be bothered to go into the recording studio anymore. And her recent brand of vocoder-ed pop lead the way for the modern pop sound, so after 40 years of recording, perhaps she's entitled to milk her back catalogue. Cher starts near the end and works her way back, well sort of. She misses a few stumbling blocks along the way, but the cream of the crop is all present and correct. Believe --------- As her biggest selling single, its only right that Believe should open the album and set the stall. With a smashing dance beat and an electro-voiced Cher belting out a sing along chorus, its no wonder this has become the soundtrack to every hen party and gay club in the country. If I Could Turn Back Time --------------- --------------- -- In 1989, Cher went through another re-invention, and ditched her clothes. Who said that 40-something women couldn't be sexy. If i Could Turn Back Time is one of those power ballads that turn up on every love collection, and even today its still a karaoke favourite. Save Up All Your Tears --------------- -------------- One of my personal favourite, this ballad tells of somebody who has been iced out by their lover. Its a soft rock song with soaring guitars ...

I Know Who Killed Me DVD 20/02/2008

She knows who killed her

I Know Who Killed Me DVD When local beauty Aubrey Fleming disappears in a spate of teenage murders, its feared that she has become the latest victim of a seriel killer whose modus operandi is to amputate his victims limbs while they are awake. When she is found at the side of the road minus an arm and a leg, Aubrey claims that she isn't who they think she is - but instead a stripper from Chicago called Dakota Moss. Dakota is the exact opposite of Aubrey - mischevious, sexually promiscuous and with bags of attitude, whereas Aubrey is studious, ambitious and beautiful. None of the townsfolk, or the FBI, believe Dakota, and think that she is removing herself from the experience by creating another persona. However, it transpires that before her ordeal, Aubrey wrote a short story explaining the existence of Dakota and how they were seperated at birth. What follows is an inexplicable tale of human stigmata, and a plot so ludicrous that even if I wanted to include a spoiler of the ending - I would be hard pressed to put the confusing events into words. Based on a screenplay by Jeff Hammond, this film is directed by Chris Sivertson. He is most notable for his creation "All Cheerleaders Die" - and he takes that premise one step further here in this ambitious but ultimately flawed vehicle for Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay Lohan, for her part, makes the difficult transition from teen movie idol to adult actress with ease. Here she turns in a believably gutwrenching performance as a girl who knows the truth ...

Edward Scissorhands (DVD) 29/10/2007

Edward Scissorhans: the DVD cut

Edward Scissorhands (DVD) As a woman reads to her granddaughter one winters night, she recalls the story of a strange character from a nearby gothic mansion who she once fell in love with. Kim is now elderly and looks longingly out of the window. When her mother Peg discovered a boy who has scissors for hands living alone in the mansion, she brings him down into the town to live with the family. Instantly, the local neighbourhood are intruigued by Edward, and set about finding out about the mystery guest. As it happens, Edward is a creation of the elderly inventor who owned the mansion on the hill, and before he had a chance to give Edward prosthetic hands, he died. But Edward's flare for inventive haircuts and gardening make him the perfect houseguest and he finds himself in demand by the local housewives. However, a brush with the law, and a proclaimation of love for Pegs daughter Kim results in the townsfolk turning on him, and he soon finds himself scuppering back to his mansion with the townsfolk in tow for what is a fateful and heartbreaking finale. Tim Burton directs this tale beautifully adding his usual mixture of gothic constructions, overblown soundtrack and misfit characters who dont instantly fit into a box. Edward is a sad pale character potrayed brilliantly by Burton's favourite actor Johnny Depp. Depp captures the vulnerability of Edward, and melds easily between tragic comedy and drama with ease. Where he is let down is with his supporting actors. Diane Wiest is amusing, but has ...

Intimate and Live (Live Recording) - Kylie Minogue 08/10/2007

Intimate experience for fans

Intimate and Live (Live Recording) - Kylie Minogue In 1998, Kylie Minogue was left without a record deal when her record label went bankrupt. Deconstruction was home to artists such as Robert Miles and M People, but Kylie was the first household name they had signed to their independent label. When the original Kylie Minogue album was released in 1994, it hit with mixed responses from critics and the public, as well as moderate sales and a questionable chart position. Kylie's own lack of direction became obvious very early on when the original album was scrapped and made way for a lower key much trendier album. But things went from bad to worse as Kylie dabbled in daliances with strange goth creatures and Japanese DJ's, and her own recordings took a back seat. It was nearly 4 years before the sterling Impossible Princess would find its way onto the shelves, complete with a shabby change of name to "Kylie Minogue". Many reasons were cited for its lack of success as it became her least selling album. One was the hasty re-titling due to the death of Diana. Another was the publics unwillingness to respond to Kylie as an adult artist. And another was that people couldn't tell the difference between the two albums because of the name. What? Are we stupid? They are clearly very different albums. The main reason for its failure was the drastic change in direction, the lack of promotion and a certain arrogance on Kylie's part that she was household enough to sell records without having to do the leg work. With Intimate And Live - ... online address book 01/10/2007

Doing it the bebo way online address book What is it? Bebo is a vastly growing online networking site which allows you to communicate with your friends. It also allows you to add various media objects such as music videos, or youtube links, or your favourite tracks. There are various other functionality's which allow you to communicate through online private messaging, as well as public messaging, and photographs. The home page layout Bebo has an amazingly simple layout, where the home page gives you a snapshot of your own friends networking. Down the righthand side are the most recent communications from your friends, as well as media and photo's they may have applied to their own personal page. On the left hand side there are various adverts as well as a search function for you to find friends online that may not yet be added to your own network. From the homepage, you can also link to a photographic list of your own friends, search your own private email address for friends who you may not have linked up with yet, a fairly simple Search function to find a specific person you may want to add and also a function which allows you to manage your own account. Your own personal page Developing your own personal page is an ongoing project. The main object of the Profile page is for people to get to know you, although you can expand on that with various other links and widgets. At the top left hand side is the space for you to add a picture of yourself, or your dog or whatever you want your main picture ...

Call Me Irresponsible (Special Edition) - Michael Bublé 28/09/2007

Buble back to basics

Call Me Irresponsible (Special Edition) - Michael Bublé Canadian swinger Michael Buble first came to our attention with his debut album "Michael Buble" in 2003, with apparent sales of 4 million (from wikipedia). His follow up album "Its Time" was equally as successful with the haunting lead single "Home" bringing him to a much wider audience. Now, 4 years on, he comes back with "Call Me Irresponsible". The album opens with "Best Is Yet To Come" a track originally recorded by Tony Bennett, but most famously performed by Frank Sinatra. Its a fitting opening to this album, both stylistically and in title. But its "Me And Mr Jones" that really gets the ball rolling. A track that I dont particularly like, Buble's take on the old classic is the best I've heard. Where the album comes alive though is on the stunning "I'm Your Man" - originally written and recorded by Leonard Cohen. This track perfectly showcases the natural quality of Buble's vocals without ever overdoing emotion or resorting to hystrionics to get his message across. The album then takes us through a varied bag of classic jazz tunes and a few original recordings that Buble and his team have composed. The title track, like "I'm Your Man" before it, relies on a subtle build up through its verses and merging into belting chorus. The album slightly flaws on his cover of Eric Claptons "Wonderful Tonight", a poor choice by any mans book. But it picks up the pace for the overblown "I've Got The World On A String" complete with a sassy vocal from the female backing ...

Sunshine (2007) DVD 17/09/2007

No Sunshine

Sunshine (2007) DVD Opening with a damning speech about the dying of the sun and the effect it will have in mankind, Sunshine sets its stall exactly as it means to go on. A group of mismatched (aren't they always) astronauts - each experts in their own specific field - are aboard the second Icarus space shuttle. Upfront of said shuttle is a giant nuclear bomb which they will hurtle straight into the sun to reignite it. The challenge is to get there without using up all of their resources, and still have enough air to get them back to Earth which is a couple of years away in distance. When a tragic fire fuels up in their oxygen area, rather than lose 3 of their crew, they veer in a different direction to find the original doomed Icarus - which mysteriously disappeared and lost the entire crew with no explanation. But the discovery of the crew leads to a shocking revelation which tests the wits of the remaining astronauts. Danny Boyle moves into science fiction territory with mixed results. This is often a gloomy affair with very little relief. There is also very little time to get to know the characters - as Boyle refuses any earth-relations between the audience and the onscreen characters, other than a one way speech from Capa - the onboard scientist. Much of the special effects are nothing more than a showcase of CGI, where its patently obvious that all the money was spent on exactly that. The cast are a decent group. Cillian Murphy continues to raise his profile with a decent ...

Fight Club (DVD) 14/09/2007

Fight to the death

Fight Club (DVD) Edward Norton stars as an insurance underwriter who is depressed at the lack of stimulation in his life and finds himself suffering from depression and insomnia. Surrounding himself with unneccessary support groups, he comes across Marla, who also attends the groups with no reason to be there. They forge an unlikely relationship where they decide to split the support groups down the middle during a witty and barbed conversation. When he finds himself homeless after an apparent explosion in his flat, he calls upon new friend Tyler Durden for somewhere to doss down. This soon leads to a strange but ultimately uplifting violent interaction, which effectively becomes the basis of their cult-like gatherings known simply as Fight Club. The gatherings take on a militia-style format and soon spread through the country. But as it takes on a violent and suspicious twist, the hero of the piece takes an unlikely action that ends in a revelation that changes his entire perception of himself. David Fincher brings to life an utterly violent screen play that is loaded with testesterone and a musculinity to male bonding that very few films have gone into before. With the only female interaction coming from the screwed up but utterly engaging Marla, this is pretty much a film about the men. The excellent Edward Norton is in superb form, an actor who never shy's away from violent roles, but always brings a humanity to his work. Brad Pitt is viscious, his character only ever displaying a head ...

Halloween (2007) 09/09/2007

Trick Or Treat...Again

Halloween (2007) For some time now, Rob Zombie's take on slasher classic Halloween has been at the centre of quite a furore. You'd be forgiven for thinking that many of the hate male posted on many blog and film discussion forums came from people who had viewed the film. Not so, because Halloween has only just skewered its way into theatre's in America and is yet to wash up in Britain. John Carpenter's low budget slasher film paved the way for 7 sequels (of which, only two were more than watchable), and a myriad of imitations. Michael Myers himself is one of a triplet of horror heavy-weights of the 80s. Freddy Kruegar and Jason Vorheers are keeping it respectable by threatening to appear in sequels, rather than in a remake (or re-imagining - as Rob Zombie is calling it). The re-telling shifts focus slightly. This isn't an 87 minute ride with an adult Michael slashing his way through the teens of Haddonfield. Rather than that, it actually spends much of its first half delving into the motives and actions of a childhood Michael - who starts off being tormented by school bullies and a hillbilly step-father. His mother is a stripper at the local strip joint, and his eldest sister is quite a hit with the local boys. In fact, with the exception of his mother, Michael only holds his baby sister (initially named Boo here) in high regard. On Halloween 1978 (when the original film was actually set), Michael starts his reign of terror on a few small rats, but escalates it to sheer horror by ...

The Simpsons Movie (DVD) 28/08/2007

Springfield on the big screen

The Simpsons Movie (DVD) Okay, so we all know who The Simpsons are. Even if you're not an avid viewer, you'll have been subjected to it at one point or another through various repeats, giggling nephews, or that terrible song they had out at the peak of their success. With various spin off DVD's and games under its belt, the big screen debut of America's most dysfunctional family is probably long overdue. Hot on the heals of Al Gore's campaign against global destruction, the story is scaled down for this often funny, but sometimes limp adventure. Lisa Simpson kickstarts a campaign in Springfield to protect the environment, engaging all the usual suspects to fight to save the lake. However, Homer typically goes against the grain and dumps the leavings of his new pet pig (check out the reference to Spiderman for laughs) in the lake. When this causes the town to become infected, the US government devise a plot to destroy the town and its inhabitants. With various jokes aimed at the incompetency of the US government, it seems the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing. The Simpsons find themselves on the run as the towns residents turn on them and then eventually each other. But their peaceful life in the far beyond is cancelled when Marge decides to take a stand against the governments plot and its left to an unwilling Homer to try and save the day. There are various underlying currents that defy the nature of this animated comedy. The issue of negligent parenting is a serious one, ...
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