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since 15/11/2010

141

Nobody Came - Robbie Garner 17/04/2012

Nobody Came, Robbie Garner - if you survived Haut de la Gar read

Nobody Came - Robbie Garner Nobody Came is an autobiography by Robbie Garner's about his experience of being bought up in Jersey and the abuse he suffered there, in particular at the infamous Haut de la Garenne. Robbie was born in the 1950s in Jersey. His mother had a string of affairs and neglected the children and his unstable father committed suicide which meant that Robbie and his 2 brothers were taken into care by the local Jersey authorities. Robbie was first placed in an orphanage run by nuns where he was phsyically and sexually abused and then later he was removed to Haut de la Garenne where the abuse was even worse. He eventually managed to leave Jersey as a young man and went to the UK mainland where he has lived ever since. This book means so much to me personally. I am a survivor of Haut de la Garenne (not in the 50s in the 70s and 80s) and I recognise so many of the awful places that he describes. He does not sensationalise anything but just says it in a simple painful truthful way which makes it devastating and powerful. He also emerges in tact with his humanity and courage. I am so grateful he had the courage to write this testimony. It makes me feel that my experience was not covered up like it was by so many people. I remember. I am a human being. There is no shame in surviving. Thank you Robbie

Everything that starts with F ... 26/09/2011

Everything that starts with F - Flood

Everything that starts with F ... FLASH FLOOD I never saw a flash flood but I would know clearly that the Severn had pushed its boundaries out and spilled over the flood plains and the streets of the local city. I stood on the hillside in the late afternoon where normally you couldn’t see the river but when the floods were very bad I could see the water grabbing the sunlight and the edges of the flood. Down in the plain on the way to work on the bus and train I could see the river widening each day and hear the stories at work or in the pub of flooded houses and fast ruin. The emotional devastation was mainly in people’s eyes saying the floods have come all you can do is hold your nerve. SWAM OVER THE FLOOD He exists at the darkening time so all my clouds have a coal, dust lining those red, raw hands: Through troubled, floods of years I struggled and swam And then I swam over the flood.

Everything that starts with T ... 21/09/2011

Everything that starts with T - Tent

Everything that starts with T ... TENT The mountain was close to us across the other side of the lake where our tent was and we sat in the car for a bit after eating out in a local restaurant and stared because one light and light after small orange light was switched on, on the mountain. He said it was the local army, practising in peace time just in case. I watched the mountains, dark, tall, crawling with soldiers and guns and cliff drops maybe, steep paths and slipping under right down into the lake. There was rain and fog and some lightning, lighting up the lake. I saw his hand resting on the wheel of the still car, heating on and carlight showing me his face. Only the mountains and the lake looked safe. TURNING I’m in a trapped and twisting place, spiralling me down and through and into the floor and he used to turn and twist me around on his floor and I used to imagine patterns and tunnels. The floor was actually a door as they tipped alcohol into me and hurt me badly. I fell into my mind, back into my mind not into anything, just running. Don’t stop, disorientated, dislocated. Always just me but I’m running. Running up turrets, under the sea, over mountains, a quick blue moving on and on and on and out.

Brodies Hostels, Edinburgh 26/08/2011

Brodies Hostel in Edinburgh - truly awful

Brodies Hostels, Edinburgh Brodies has the potential to be a decent hostel if it was cleaned up and had some decent staff. I stayed at Brodies while I was spending a few days in Edinburgh and I was on a budget so I opted for a bed in a shared dormitory to save on cost. It's in the centre of Edinburgh so it's handy for everything touristy and practical that you could want from this great city. If you are going for a shared dormitory try to make sure that everybody you know is also sharing the dorm - or pay a bit more and get a private room as there is limited privacy in the shared dormitories. Two members of staff shared the dorm with me and 2 other guests – and the staff were noisy and very rude. The beds are comfy enough but the lockers are really, really tiny meaning that a fair bit of your stuff will have to stay in your room. The place stank to high heaven like vinegar and it needed a really good clean. The showers were mixed sex which was uncomfortable. The other guests weren't too bad over all and fairly good natured and probably made up - or helped to protect me from dubious members of staff!

Radisson Blu Hotel, Bristol 26/08/2011

Radisson Blue Hotel, Bristol - a sumptuous hotel

Radisson Blu Hotel, Bristol I stayed in this hotel in Bristol on holiday just for one night as I was treating myself. It is very expensive at around £90.00 a night but it's truly awesome. After a day's sight-seeing I was too tired to sit in a restaurant and opted to have room service bring me a Caesar salad to my room. The service was quick and efficient and within 15 minutes of ordering I had my salad in my room. The room was spotless and huge and the bed was nice and comfortable with clean and crisp smelling sheets. There was a huge TV with an OK selection of channels to watch. The bathroom was lovely and I had a nice warm bath using the shampoo and shower gel sachets from the hotel. The view from the window from my room was OK but nothing incredible but it was the sheer elegance of staying in the hotel that made it such a treat. I slept soundly and had a very quiet night without disturbances. I had a good fried breakfast in the hotel restaurant in the morning and checked out easily without any problems. The perfect hotel I think!

Everything that starts with A ... 25/08/2011

Everything that starts with A - Air

Everything that starts with A ... AIR What I remember will be what happened. I divine nothing out of the air. No libations are prepared nearby for the gods to spare me and my countrymen the truth. Nothing is put down. I am not even a false priestess weaving words to fall into the hands of waiting soldiers who pay me for gold to line my table while they distrust me then trust me for the words of no comfort I provide. I do not stand in high mountains and cry out what the gods tell me to be taken then practically from word to mouth from human to human, person to person, words carried down into the village and over the hilltops. I don’t pull out the future for artists to ponder on. I don’t get the doctors to wake me from my delusions with mind-altering pills. I disintegrate into different personalities and wish that I was a prophetess while sat on my white bed at the top of the hospital. I am only what I and society don’t want me to be – a vulnerable survivor of satanic ritual abuse. * AT THE CORNER At the corner of the busy road is a bunch of flowers tied to a metal post. Mortality touches all the corners of our living life.

Everything that starts with L ... 25/08/2011

Everything that starts with L - Londinium

Everything that starts with L ... LONDINIUM The people walking around me, clad in iron pinstripe suits or semi-blue metallic jeans. The buildings are made of grey city, frozen snow and red bricks. The windows are hard ice. This is the city where nothing ever melts and people go in and out of buildings and up skyscrapers like turrets. This is the city which is gridlocked with traffic and a deep-tapped numb pain. This is a timeless place. Medeaval knaves have been replaced by denim barrow boys and the Thames is the unstoppable muscle, a grey-blue vein pumping life through. The Thames is in my life like a motionless TV in the spare room, that’s never used. We concentrate on the one in the living room. The dirty small river Irwell sinks and snakes through the Northern city where I live. It doesn’t command a presence like the Thames does in the silver city. Silver city or fog city, or city full of shadows. Eastern river city stunning the South, commanding a presence. * LIGHT I feel its warmth And when the sky goes mood black or thin, weeping grey I rejoice in what light I have Those years I looked at the sky. * LOOSE CHANGE This world of whys, lies, conflict and loose change. ...

Everything that starts with R ... 25/08/2011

Everything that starts with R - Reprieve

Everything that starts with R ... REPRIEVE He locked both doors and I couldn’t get out of the house and on to the hillside. I ran upstairs to the balcony and the wind was lifting the snow over the mountains, across the valleys and up our hill, to the door. I found the key to the balcony door, sitting in the keyhole and opened it. I walked in my bare feet on to the snow covered balcony and looking at the sky I wasn’t sure if the snow was being lifted or if it was falling down. He was at the top of the stairs now and I turned from the snow in our valley and faced him. He held a knife and said everything would be alright so I clung on for dear life. I knew if I fell the snow wouldn’t cushion me but I could hear people out on the lane. I told him I’d shout and he retreated. He said I amounted to nothing but I can run and I’m brilliant at it. * ROSE Some believe to pick a rose a rose is born with thorns soft petals from a harsh state easily, ceaselessly or necessarily taken to humanity’s captivity, thus there is no freedom. (If eyes) from soil to captivity then wilting – no freedom with eyes. What will not be explained but is true but all people have freedom in their souls freedom in its infinity. * RUSH HILL Rush hill swirling round her Mars like the dark.

Everything that starts with S ... 25/08/2011

Everything that starts with S - snowflakes

Everything that starts with S ... SNOWFLAKES Snowflakes - I adored snowflakes but not the ones you catch outside, delicious, cold on your tongue: I couldn’t see the patterns. I couldn’t create it. All you could do with that sort of snowflake was enjoy it. I liked the snowflakes I used to make before Christmas because it was like routine. Slightly hard and crisp, blank computer paper tinted with a nasty shade of green stripes on one side. Cut too many bits of it and it fell apart. Fold it into three quarters and then carve bits out of it with scissors random but safe. I made beautiful paper snowflakes. Snow is like a page, a whole long, white ream of computer. Under the snow in the garden is bright green virgin grass: something normal, every day. * SYMPHONY, ADANTE, TEARS Symphony, adante, tears so soft, slow, fire-furious tears (that was how fears) I never played a symphony (in the years at school my wings were tied with insecurity) and claustrophobia. Tears for a lost child. Tears in a lost play of schools, bullies and nightmares. Childlike the bully’s words clip, hurt and pull me. (I thought the bullies would kill me and my future so shaky). (Tears as a threatening thunder strikes all tomorrows.) (Today the guitar sits still. Old symphony of the past can’t play again.) Fetch me my guitar from the abscess of the old corner hidden under clouds of dust hidden and years (and set wild hills alight Like the torch sun over the mountains bleak, harsh, bleak beaches. Fetch me the sky from old tears.

Poems about Childhood 25/08/2011

Bath

Poems about Childhood BATH The water was very thin and emptying down the plughole in a normal way in my absent childhood. The bubble bath that an adul had smilingly tipped into a capful under the running water and filling it up and I saw it and gathered more bath toys for it, I sat in the bath and built a castle for the bubbles that subsided. I made a beard out of the bubbles and then rubbed it off.It rained hard on the bathroom window. I heard a hand on the door handle. I continued to make another castle with intricate passageways. I imagined people in kingdoms inside the castles. His hand turned the handle. He sat by the bath and I gazed at the cold water that I couldn't reach hitting the ceiling. I concentrated on the beat of the rain and when he had finished abusing me I found that I had discovered another personality inside me who must have covered my soul while he hurt me. I found that my body was numb but my mind could not be still. * SPRING It is spring hurrah! but alas although there are little green shoots the rain is pouring fast: that is April showers. The sun is shining. Let’s go out for a bit: but we don’t know why it ends. Just as the rain starts we all rush in. I sit and watch through the window as the dratted thing streams down. There are birds protecting their newly born. * WHERE GOES MY BOAT Where goes my boat? Sparkling blue be the river while the waterfall springs with foam I sit up on the rocks while my boat, I hope, goes home. The grass is as green as the ...

Everything that starts with H ... 25/08/2011

Everything that starts with H - Hills

Everything that starts with H ... High in the quiet hills I’d walk with matters heavy on my mind and stop by a stream or in a wood with the sun slanting down and nobody nothing except hills. In a storm the hills would change and after a few storm days, when I was hill-less long enough, it was as if up on the ridge there’d be a wild call and I’d run full tilt in the pouring rain and stop a second in the wood, panting for breath, rain dripping down, knowing the stupid beauty of being in a wood in half-lightning time. Mists on the hills, where I would weep with the rain, flung on my chosen rock but I could sometimes soar through mists, thinning to the sun at the hill’s peak. The hills in their quiet are a balm to take me in and ask no questions. A sea or womb when the day fits. * Snow on the hillside at dusk The wind was rising. I was scared in case It began to lift The snow over the Paths, the bracken-slopes, Across my eyes and Lightless I would just About see my hand Before my face. Then the wind died down And only touched the bracken.

Argos Silver Mini Fridge 25/08/2011

Argos Silver Mini Fridge - it works but its too small

Argos Silver Mini Fridge I bought this from Argos with the idea of having it in my bedroom and for travelling. The Argos Silver Mini Fridge is extremely tiny and really there's hardly any room at all for me to get anything more than 1 or 2 items in without it all falling over. Having said that the fridge is good for me to be able to keep a cool bottle of water in my bedroom so I don't have to go downstairs to the kitchen at night when I want a cool drink and far more importantly its ideal for keeping a sandwich or bottle nice and cool when I am travelling and staying overnight in a B&B where there is not normally a fridge in the room. The fridge is easy to move around and can be plugged and unplugged (once plugged in it works) without any real hastle.

Sainsbury's Basics Hand Blender 13/08/2011

Sainsburys Basics Hand Blender Good For Blending Soups

Sainsbury's Basics Hand Blender This little blender is brilliant for making soups. I specialise in making vegetable soups and this blender helps me to quickly and efficiently blend a soup that I am in the process of making, turning it from a thick chunky broth into a smooth textured and appetising looking soup. The blender is a simple and straightforward device to use. The only thing I would say is that when I first used it I had to make sure the bottom of the blender was properly in the soup jug when blending because when I had it slightly higher up the jug at the top of the soup the soup sprayed everywhere. I find that it’s vital to get the angle right when using this or otherwise soup is wasted and there is a mess to clear up. ...

Currys Essentials CFSG10WH 13/08/2011

Currys Essentials Oven and Hob For Stress Free Cooking

Currys Essentials CFSG10WH I ordered my oven online from Currys and I had it promptly delivered to me within a few days as they had promised me. It is a very simple oven and it allows me to cook my food without any problems. It would be nice if it looked smooth and beautiful which it doesn't but it also doesn’t look terrible or out of place in my standard kitchen and it wasn’t overly expensive at all. It is gas and after I followed the instruction manual and started using it cooking for me has been all plain sailing which is a huge relief to me. Having had terrible ovens in the past it is wonderful to be able to follow a recipe to the letter and yet not have to contend with any food that is either burnt or undercooked.

Sainsbury's Basics Steam Iron 13/08/2011

Sainsburys Basic Iron Will Leave Your Clothes Crumple Free

Sainsbury's Basics Steam Iron Sainsbury's Basics Steam Iron is not the most inspiring thing in the world but only because ironing is a pet hate of mine. However clothes that scream out to the world that they have not been ironed and are horribly crumpled is not good for my sense of dignity so I needed a decent iron like this one. As with so much of Sainsbury’s basics range there’s nothing fancy with this iron and nothing wrong with it either. It doesn't break the bank and is nice and cheap at just under four pounds. It works without any hastle. As long as too much pressure is not applied to my clothes (some is needed of course for ironing) then a fresh ironed set of clothes is no problem. ...
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