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since 16/08/2002


Everything that starts with P ... 11/03/2003

The perfect wife

Everything that starts with P ... It's unbelievable to see how things have changed in the last 50 or so years, everyday new things are available, new advances in medicine, new discoveries in space, but its not just our suroundings and experiences that have changed so too has our attitude. Below is an actual article that appeared in the 'Housekeeping Monthly' magazine on may 13th 1955. THE GOOD WIFE GUIDE Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables. During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. Minimize all ...

Everything that starts with O ... 11/01/2003

I Sound like my mother

Everything that starts with O ... I can't believe I'm about to write an op on a cleaning product, I guess it was inevitable though that one day the infectious disease of domesticity would finally find it's way into my body. So here goes.. I'm not what you might call an advertisers dream, I regard most commercials with suspician, so when I saw the ad for oxyclean, I was hardly fighting the urge to ring the hotline for my consignment. For those of you not aware of the commercials claim, the basis of their campaign is that oxyclean will replace all your household cleaning products, this miracle white powder when dissolved into water will tackle anything, and I do mean anything!! From household surfaces, fridges and the like to patio decking to laundry itself, simply follow the instructions and be prepared to be amazed.... So thats their claim, one tub of this will make my life wonderful and scrubbing a thing of the past...Yeah sure it will Like I said, I wasn't about to ring some dubious hotline and give out my credit card number so my life would have to remain as it is. I wouldn't have given it another thought were it not for a chance encounter in Asda last night. It would seem that Asda has decided to stock the above mentioned miracle. The price was a little worrying though £5.93 to be exact, seemed a little pricey to me mainly because I'm tight! The saving grace was though that I didn't have to ring the hotline, or wait for delivery so I though what the hell, don't I just live life on the ...

Lilt Pineapple & Grapefruit Fruit Crush 19/11/2002

Chill Dude

Lilt Pineapple & Grapefruit Fruit Crush Anyone that knows me well will tell you that I drink Coca-Cola for England, so with that in mind it may seem odd for me to be writing about Lilt, but a friend of mine recently challenged me to go without Coke for a month! How was I going to survive?? Lilt is one of those drinks thats been around for years, the sort that I pass by every day without much in the way of a second thought, despite the fact that I enjoyed it in my youth. lack of my above mentioned favourite tiple however forced me to experiment with new addictions so I gave Lilt a second chance. My first encounter was in my local Kwik Save, where the white can with the flourescent green writing inched it's way into my basket, I tried to protest but at only 35p for a 330ml can , my argument was weak. Let the battle commence. I manage to go a whole two days before I finally rescued the poor little bugger from the bitter cold of the fridge, I sat it down, I looked at it, I looked at it some more.. It didn't even look like coke, this was going to be bad, I didn't want to play, I wanted to take my ball home!!! Finally I could delay the inevitable no longer, I pulled back the ring pull and poured half of the content into a glass, the colour was much as I had expected it to be, A murky transparant yellow but the aroma of pineapple was pleasantly intense , maybe this wasn't going to be that bad..... Slowly I raised the glass to my lips.... a small sip.......the bubbles tingling on my tongue. The pineapple ...

Everything that starts with I ... 06/11/2002

Ice Age - the video

Everything that starts with I ... (I have requested Ciao add this to their video list but untill it's added I shall place it here and will ask for it to be moved later.) We found ourself with two kids to entertain last weekend, boy was this gonna be fun!!, to make matters worse one of the boys wasn't feeling so great, so we had our work cut out entertaining them both. The local video store came to our aid in the form of an animated film called Ice Age. Set 20,000 years ago, The storyline starts by us seeing a pack of saber toothed tigers plotting, they want their revenge on man, having been almost wiped out from hunting, the pack get together and decide to take action. Their target is a human baby, by killing the youngest of the human folk, they feel they will have been vindicated for their own loss. They invade the camp where the hunters have settled and zone in on the mother carrying their intended victim. The mother makes a desperate jump into the freezing river to escape their wrath. Washed ashore downstream the mother comes too, and frantically pushes her infant out of the water and onto the saftey of the river bank. Watching the comotion are the two main stars of the show, a hairy mamoth by the name of Manfred and his unlikely ali Sid the sloth. The mother looks into the gentle eyes of Manfred and it is clear that she is asking for help, she gently falls back into the water and her lifeless body is washed away. Manfred however is hesitant about getting involved but is bullied into doing it by ...

Member Advice on Insomnia 04/11/2002

Snuggle up close

Member Advice on Insomnia We've all pushed our bodies to the limits at times, too much partying to many passionate nights with not enough shut eye before returning to the real world of the nine to five and we all know how awful we feel when our bodies protest and screams at you that enough is enough. For most people just chilling out for a day or two usualy puts things right. Consider though what it must be like for the poor sufferers of insomnia, having pushed themselves to their limits, they still can't sleep, but the day to day grind is merciless to the fact. Depriving your body of sleep is extremely unwise as your body is not a machine, think of it as a car which relies on petrol = food, Oil = water, battery = sleep and so on. If your battery fails, so do you!. However insomnia isn't a choice that people make, it's rather a game that the body plays on you, not a very funny one either. There are ways to help ensure a good nights sleep however and the following are ways that have helped me over the years, when I've experienced a bout of mind numbing lack of sleep. First of all the obvious and well documented tricks such as not drinking late into the evening, there's nothing worse than finally nodding off only to wake with the realisation that your bed is about to become a swimming pool if drastic action isn't taken. Don't drink to much caffeine as we all know it's a brain stimulant so unless you want to be lying away considering the meaning of life at 3am, stay well clear! Try to avoid ...

RollerCoaster Tycoon 2 (PC) 01/11/2002

Beware of the men with the green heads

RollerCoaster Tycoon 2 (PC) Saddo that I am I was really eager to get my hands on Rollercoaster tycoon 2. After much anticipation my time finally came to indulge myself. Installation of the game was quick and painless thankfully, so I was soon ready to begin... For those of you unfamiliar with this game.... The object is to build a succesful theme park based around rollercoasters, you are also given other smaller rides to compliment your park as well as traditional shops and stalls. The trick is to build a park to please everyone, bearing in mind that everyone has different needs, not everyone can stomach a freefall rollercoaster!!!. You are responsible for hiring and firing staff including handymen, mechanics and entertainers. Your rides need frequent maintanance or else they will crash!! Your goal is obviously to make money but it's not always as easy as you might think..... ***** The Verdict***** The game is divided into scenarios just like the first edition but these scenarios have been given a much needed facelift, they have been seperated into categories these being, Beginner parks, expert parks , challenging parks, real parks and others. In total there are 26 scenarios to keep you entertained. Beginner parks are just what you might expect, the scenarios are designed to get you into the game to become familiar with the tools and get a feel for how to succeed in the tycoon business. They have made the challenges harder which is good because for those of you that experienced RCT 1, ...

10 Most Annoying Celebrities 25/10/2002

Anyone got a rotten tomato

10 Most Annoying Celebrities Mariah Carrey What is it about this half size bint that really gets my goat up?, is it her over the top warbling? is the way she is so adamant in finding a peice of clothing that will conceal the very least of her body? maybe it's that smug grin of hers that goes from ear to ear. The truth is it's all those and more. The fact is that her fan club are all under the age of ten, so why dress the way she does?? Little miss cutesie is just way too nauseating for my pallat. Somebody please put this gimp out of her warbling misery!!! Jarvis Cocker Jarvis of 'Pulp' fame. Ok so I admitt that I actually rather liked pulp, I was quite impressed by the lyrics to 'Common People' but come on Jarvis your a has been, so whats with the arrogant attitude??, you hardly the most talented individual on the planet, and quite frankly your one ugly looking dude!!! having made a tidy some from your brief period of success you must have made enough to get rid of those NHS glasses!! Carole Smiley Are you related to Mariah?? If anyone was ever suited to their name .. it's you my dear. For god sake get a life, I often wonder how you react to bad news, does the smile ever fade?? it's so fake! STOP !! Your killing me. I can't take another tv show that is so desperate for a presenter that they have to resort to the cheesey queen!!!! Anthea Turner Quit gargling and learn to talk properly!! Noel Gallagher Alright alright! I admitt to buying one of their albums in the ...

Poetry 24/10/2002

Pam Eyres eat your heart out

Poetry I realised that my ops have been getting a bit serious latley, so I thought I would give you these as a humourous offering, I hope you like them, I'm not the greatest poet in the world though be warned.... When will we learn? The tears rolled down my face all night you took my hand and joined the fight you gave me hope that it would end my broken dreams you promised to mend You rallied the troops and called them round, after much deliberation a gameplan was found. Tasks were set and deadlines made, shoppers dispatched and proffesionals paid The men worked all night, the job nearly done, work came first, there was no time for fun!. We all stood back and admired the view You laughed out loud and the men did too You made me promise that I wouldn't attempt to do my own decorating, it would be met with contempt. A thousand pound later, my deed put right not a dodgy bit of artistry left in sight!!! Big Mistake! Late again, no great surprise! another excuse, another load of lies The forecourt flowers are lovely dear! I'll put them in a vase and leave then here. So tell me, have you had a good day? Was the young girl you met a satisfying lay? did she build up your ego, and make you feel like a man did she wear expensive perfume but reak of fake tan Was she worth losing your wife, you home and your car half your bankbalance gone, I'm sure you'll go far what happens when your broke?, will she still drool? Face it dear your an ageing ...

Everything that starts with H ... 22/10/2002

Household Tips n Tricks

Everything that starts with H ... Here are a few tips, some may seem obvious but some may not, I hope they are of some use to you anyway. ** COOKING TIPS ** If you want to remove fat from a pan of food without draining it and losing the flavour, chuck in a handfull of ice cubes, fat clings to the ice so when the ice turns yellow just quickly remove and disgard, you will be amazed how affective this is. If you want to remove the skins from roasted vegatables but find it a bit tricky, pop them into an airtight bag for ten minutes whilst they are still hot, the steam will do the work for you and when you take them out the skins will fall away easily. If you want really impressive looking yorkshire puddings, invest in a muffin tray rather than a traditional patty tin, add slightly more water and you will have the godfathers off all yorkies!! If you buy a ready made gravy mix one sunday, it means that you will have the meat stock left over, freeze it and thaw it out the following week, this means that you are able to make up your gravey in advance and don't have to wait for the meat to cook. saving you loads of time, so you can get on with something else. If you are boiling eggs, add a teaspoon of vinegar to the water, this willl help prevent the yolks going black, if you leave them on too long. As soon as you have carved the roast on a sunday, wrap the meat in tin foil whilst it is still hot, that way it will retain the moisture, and will be just as delicious the next day. ** ...

10 Most Embarassing Moments 18/10/2002

Pathetically pissed in Prague

10 Most Embarassing Moments When it comes to making a complete arse of oneself, I can usualy rise to the challenge quite successfully as you will see from this opinion... I know I'm supposed to include ten but I think when you have read this you will realise after this story nothing else could even come close to beeing as embarrasing!! I was thrilled to find out a couple of years ago that my partner and I had won 'Top Publican' award with the brewery. The prize was an all expenses paid trip to Prague with the other ten winners and some of the industries big wigs. The holiday was superb and we were treated like royalty, staying in the best hotel and eating in the top exclusive restaurants, everything was going great until the last day.. We had to pick up a coach transfer to the airport at 6pm. Because the day was so cold, none of us fancied shopping or sightseeing so it was suggested that we all went for lunch in a beer Keller and spent the afternoon relaxing. The lunch was superb and so was the wine, because most people were drinking red wine, which I don't like, myself and another lady were happily tucking into caraffes of white. After lunch the owners of the beer keller were so deligted with the money they were taking they agreed to stay open until it was time for us to collect our luggage and board the coach...Huge mistake!!!! Picture the scene 10 publicans, extremely pissed, singing and dancing, The managing director of the brewery pretending that the left over bread rolls were grenades, ...

Top 10 Love Songs 17/10/2002

OK I'm Soft

Top 10 Love Songs Everyone has their favourite love songs, I don't care how tough they like to act, so I thought I would share mine with you and give you a little insight as to why they mean so much to me..... STILL GOT THE BLUES FOR YOU - Gary Moore Although I'm not a major blues fan, this song runs shivers through my spine. I was in a bar in spain one night when I heard this song for the first time, When I was quite young I was engaged , sadly the relationship ended a few months before the wedding, but for a long time I held a candle for the man I was supposed to marry even though I knew it wasn't meant to be. The songs lyrics are powerfull and reflect on the feelings of someone who has lost a great love and can't let the memories go. Although Gary moore is by far better known for his guitar playing than his singing, this is a powerfull attempt at combining the two. The guitar instrumental is breathtaking. SUDDENLY - Angry Anderson Now don't laugh Ok!!! This song was actually used for the backing track to the episode of neighbours were Scott and Charlene got married. Now stick with me on ths one!! I know what your thinking... The fact is this song is never going to win any awards, the singer is not the most talented on the planet admittedly but the lyrics although simple are quite beautiful. The essence of the song is about somebody getting to know the real you, not the face that you show everyone else, something that I feel is very relavent to me at times. If you ever are lucky ...

Everything that starts with G ... 16/10/2002

Gripes on Ciao

Everything that starts with G ... Like most people joining Ciao I was attracted by the thought of earning a bit of money on the side for writing a few ops about products and services I used every day. Like everyone else here I soon realised that it was all just a pipe dream. So why did I stay? I honestly can't give a straight answer to that, I enjoy the site and I honestly do love to write, all be it badly at times. I enjoy the feeling that people have benefitted in some way from my humble contribution. There have been several times during my stay here when I have considered leaving, this has been for several reasons. Firstly I felt that there was an air of arrogance from many of the long serving members and was disallusioned many times after posting an op that had taken a while to write only to see it disappear of the top twenty in less than half an hour with only a handfull of reads and a couple of snotty comments because I had dared to leave a capital letter out somewhere amongst a page long op. I am one of those rare humans with a pc that doesn't have Word, so therefore I have no spell checker. Ultimatley though the comments only drove me to improve my writing where posible. Another reason for my resentment towards the site was the blatant double standards used by it's members, it seems that there is at times one rule for the 'newbies' and one rule for the long established, I have read so many 'off topic' ops written by the so called experts that have hundred of reads and multiple gushing ...

Low Fat and Diet Recipes 09/10/2002

Roasted Red pepper and Tomato Soup

Low Fat and Diet Recipes If you are constantly on a diet like me then you will no doubt get bored of the usual low fat recipes, that taste 'thin' and uninspiring. I love to experiment in the kitchen so the following recipe was found accidently. The taste is great and whats more there are a negligable amount of calories in each serving! ROASTED RED PEPPER & TOMATO SOUP *** Ingredients **** One large red pepper Two large tomatoes One vegatable stock cube A tablespoon of cooking oil 1 teaspoon of basil Pinch of black pepper Pinch of salt 1/2 pint of water Dash of Worcestershire sauce *** Method*** Wash the pepper and the tomatoes then place on a baking tray, pour over the oil and place in a hot oven for about ten minutes, keep checking on them, the result you are looking for is a lifting and browning of the skin. This should be achieved after a maximum of 15 minutes. Once you have the desired result take them out of the oven and place the tomatoes and pepper in either an airtight bag or a bowl with an airtight lid and leave. Place your stock cube in a pan with the water and boil, until you have reduced it down to about half the quantity. Returning now to your Peppers and tomatoes, carefully remove from their container (coz they will be bloody hot). Place on a chopping board. Using a small sharp knife, gently peel away their skins and disgard, this is also getting rid of that (cooking oil so you won't be consuming anything greasy) Cut the flesh of the pepper, removing ...

Everything that starts with S ... 08/10/2002

Suicide- my story

Everything that starts with S ... I'm very close to turning thirty, but I very nearly never made it this far. when I was fourteen for reasons that I won't go into, I decided I couldn't take life any more. I was lonely and I was desperate. I layed awake one night deciding how I was going to end my life. The next morning I left the house as usual but instead of going to school, I hopped on a bus and went into town, my destination was Boots the chemist. I left boots with a bottle of parectoml (containing 100) and two bottles of orange lucozade. I went to the bus station in Notingham and made my way to the public toilets, once inside I opened the pills and the drink and began swallowing. I remember the taste of the lucozade, it was vile so after a while, I stopped, I had no idea how many of the pills I had taken. My plan then was to kill some time in town ensuring that my father had gone off to work and then return home to let the pills 'do their thing' I had watched tv, I knew I would just drift off too sleep.... WRONG!!!!!! I wandered around the shops for about 20 minutes, then I felt sick, very sick!! how I made it to back to the public toilets I will never know! I must have spent an hour in there, feeling violently ill. As soon as the vomitting stopped I made my way home and went straight to bed. several hours later I woke up, and again began vommitting, my stomach really hurt and I had a fever. I couldn't tell mum what I had done, I was scared now but figured my plan had failed and the pills ...

L'Oreal Longitude 07/10/2002

Luscious Lashes

L'Oreal Longitude I'm the worlds worse person at getting up in the morning, but when I eventually get around to moving my lazy backside out of my pit and into the bathroom, my reflection in the mirror usually confirms the fact that I should have stayed in bed....for the rest of my natural days!! It can take hours for that 'just got out of bed' look to disapear from my face, even a shower and a few cuppa's don't do the trick, so as you can imagine when it comes to buying makeup I want something thats going to transform Mo Mowland into Cindy Crawford..No mean feat!!! Sadly theres nothing that good on the market and even more sadly there is never likely to be, so we mere mortals just have to do our best. My eyes are sadly the most afflicted with early morningitis. I have tried many different mascaras in the hope that they will add back a little vitality. L'oreal Longitude claimed to be reveloutionary, giving longer seprated lashes. Great!! just what I needed!! something to make my eyes look fresh and goddess like!! *** DID IT WORK **** Actually yes!! My lashes did look much longer making my whole eyes look bigger and brighter! The downside was that the Mascara was quite thick so it took a day or two to master how to get the look just right without my lashes appearing clogged, although once mastered the result was excellent. The applicating brush is very strong which means it doesnt bend easily like some cheaper mascaras and helps to make sure that you get the mascara ...
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