Author's product rating: 
| Advantages: |
None |
| Disadvantages: |
Many - - High blood pressure, increased stress, and premature aging . |
| Recommend to potential buyers: |
no |
Introduction:
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Family feuds are as ever present and eternal as civilisation itself. And thats simply because human beings and their experiences are different. Genetic characteristics as well as the environment of each being determine how we react to our surroundings--be they events, incidents, or escapades.
Types:
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There are two types of family feuds:-
1. The first variety is the kind of feuds that develop inside the family consortium.
2. The second is what happens between two unrelated families.e.g something like in Romeo and Juliet.
My Experience:
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I would just like to give a brief overview of my family just to show that I am qualified in the realm of family experience to write this review.
I am naturally a daughter of a father and a mother. My father was one of four, and, my mother, one of eleven!!!! I have 26 cousins and still more nieces and nephews through them. I myself am one of a family of four.
So given the number of family members you can imagine the feuds running in any given moment of time.
My Advice:
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This bit of advice predominantly will cater to the first group of intra family feuds.
When the feud is within a family the first thing to remember is that there will be quite a bit of similar characteristics between each individual because of the gene pool being shared. And as we all know, like poles can repel. Most feuds erupt and are fostered by certain strong personalities, especially those who have a long memory. If these people have enough power or person skills to maintain a following then they would dictate to their 'followers' the strategy that should be adopted in relating to the other party.
This is just an example of the underlying group dynamics.
Now when we think of tackling a family feud the first thing to consider is -IS IT WORTH THE EFFORT? ( in terms of results, efforts and emotional trauma involved) and then--WHAT IS AT STAKE?.
If the answer to the first question is yes and the answer to the second moderate to high then you should be thinking of how to help the situation.
Careful analysis of the problem would bring up who the key individuals of the issue are. Further, a sympathetic analysis of why they behave in such manner and how the various issues have affected them and also been influenced by them, should be made.
It is also important to realistically evaluate your role in the picture so far.
Are the key players likely to be influenced by what you say or do??? That is the key question. If they are not likely, dont continue to go ahead on your own. this is the difficult part as if we feel we have a solution or suggestion we may feel we have to tell it to those concerned. But as its results that count its wiser to bide your time.
In the event that you have realised that any key player in the feud is unlikely to be influenced by what you have got to say or do, then HALT.
Discuss the issue with a person who can speak to this key person. Explain the situation carefully and present a well balanced judgement and solution and ask him/her to help. Also explain what is at stake and the benefits to both parties if the feud is stopped.
Likewise if there is a key player to whom you can talk to, and who can be influenced by your opinion, you do the eplaining to him/her.
Now in the event that you are the key player then half the job is done as u dont have to talk to two sides--only one. Again here its better if you can get a middle person to speak to the other side initially if there is the possibility that fireworks will fly.
What is important is that if there is clearly a wrongdoing on one side then it is best discussed and an apology given /offered /and accepted.
The main thing when trying to resolve a family feud is - be prepared to be open--as most people respond to honesty. And dont take it too hard personally if everything dosent work out perfectly(100%). be ready to be happy with a 50% reduction in tension as that could be a basis to work forward.
Beware there are some situations in which to leave well alone---and hope that time will act as the healer.
I guess the above advice would apply to both kinds of Family Feuds.
But the best advice is dont get yourself into this feudal status. Its better to have minor tiffs and get on with life than to blow it into gigantic proportions. Repeating stories to other members sometimes fuels the fire. So if there is some disagreement , voice it out then and there. Dont go plotting behind anyones back and spreading tales. We are all capable of doing mischief. May be just cool off for some time and then get talking at the next family function....
Its a lot better on the nerves than having an active feud going on!!!!
So thats it on family feuds----The best advice is --Try not to create one--its real difficult to get out of!!!!!!
