TEARS OF JOY

This subject is something that every woman wants to know about and I after reading a few opinions on childbirth I thought that I would share my views with you.

I actually became pregnant at 15 years old and no it was not a mistake, I planned to get pregnant, but could not tell my parents that, they would have been even more angry then they were. I had always loved babies and baby sat a lot and just couldn’t wait to have my own. I had been going out with my boyfriend since I was 14 and my parents did not approve of him, as he was 5 years older than I was. We both decided that we would try for a baby, so it was no great shock when I found out that I was expecting, it was telling my parents that was difficult. Back in them days it was just the beginning of teenage pregnancies, and was looked at as a terrible thing. I told my mum, one day when I came home from school, she said I was a stupid girl and that she was taking me to the doctors, to get it confirmed before mentioning it to my dad.

We set off for the doctors and the next day after school, the doctor said that he would have to examine me, he gave me an internal examination and confirmed that I was about six to eight weeks pregnant. I was excited but my poor mum was very upset, and trying to think of a way to break the news to my dad. That evening all hell broke loose in our home, my dad said that I must have an abortion, all he could think about was what the neighbours would say and the rest of the family. I told him that no way would I get rid of my baby and that I would run way. He said I had ruined my life and that he forbid me to see my boyfriend. Later that evening my boyfriends parents came around to discuss the situation, they some how managed to talk my dad out of the idea of abortion, and that they would be willing to have me live with them once the baby was born. My mum was against abortion and her view was that I should have the baby apdoted. Anyway after a heated discussion it was agreed that I could keep the baby and live at my boyfriends parents house. My school had to be told and as soon as they knew that wanted me out as quickly as possible, within two weeks I had left school and because of being under 16 I had to have a home tutor to carry on teaching me, as it was the law. My baby was due on my 16th birthday; I felt great all through the pregnancy and had no problems what so ever. No morning sickness, no swollen feet, no tiredness, or heartburn, every thing was brilliant and I enjoyed every moment, especially when the baby kicked in side me for the first time. I did put on too much weight though, four stones, but this was put down to my age as I was still growing myself. I attended anti-natal classes at my local clinic, which I found were very useful indeed; I learnt so much from the classes. I was not frightened of going into labour and was looking forward to it.

When the time came, it was my mum that told me, that it had started. It was around 5 pm on a Sunday evening and the contractions were not that painful, my boyfriend came around to take me to the hospital at about 7pm and my parents stayed behind. My boy friend did not want to be at the birth so he stayed for an hour then went home. For the first time I felt alone and as I was on a ward with other ladies who were in more advanced stages of labour, I had to listen to them moaning in pain. I began to think my god how painful is it going to get. I had to be shaved and had an enema, then a bath. I just kept walking around up and down the corridors, until the pain became worse. I was taken to what they called a prep room, where I was given some gas and air,and an injection of pethadine to help the pain. I seemed to be dreaming, not at all with it, until I was violently sick, I could taste the gas in my mouth, it was horrible. Then I seemed to feel alive again, and thought I wanted to go the toilet, I pressed my button for a nurse. When she came in she had a look and said no you don’t want the loo, your baby is coming. I was then taken up to the delivery room, I did not find the pain bad at all, I can only describe it as being like a bad period pain and wanting to go to pooh. I remembered my breathing exercises and concentrating on them. Iat kept pushing as hard as I could until suddenly I felt a warm sensation down below, which was my babies head. It was the most wonderful feeling, and I will never forget it. The time was 3.45 am when I gave birth to a lovely healthy 8lb baby boy. I held him and cried tears of joy, I just couldn’t believe he was mine. I felt very pleased with my self and couldn’t wait for my boyfriend to come and see us. He was born three days before my 16th birthday and you had to stay in hospital for seven days in the seventies, so I had the perfect birthday present a son. I married my boyfriend a few months later and had another child at nineteen, which was a girl.

They say no two pregnancies are the same but mine were.The labour was quicker,and as I arrived at the hospital rather late, there was no time to give any pain relief,so I suppose it was a completley natural birth.The labour was only 4 hours from start to finish. I can honsetly say that I don't find the experience that painful.I will add that I am one of the lucky women and in my opinion the younger you are the better you can deal with it.

Sadly my marriage ended after 12 years, as my husband left me for another women. I have found happiness and am now remarried and have two wonderful granchildren. A little girl of four and a baby boy that’s just turned one. I actually was at the birth with my daughter and welcomed my grandson into the world this was an over whelming experience, and one that I will never forget.

I do not regret being a teenage mum and wouldn’t change a thing about my life.Just remember,so many women go through childbirth as it is the most natural thing in the world.If it was that bad womem would only stick to having one child.In my view it is important to attend anti-natal classes and learn about your body changing and ways that can help you relax while in labour, as breathing is a very important part.Lastly, you should not be fightened and look forward to the birth. Believe me it is well worth it.

I hope you have enjoyed reading this bye for now Deni