FINDING OUT

I had a strange way of finding out I was pregnant- I had come of the pill and had no period about 6 weeks later, i also noticed my stomach was really hard so even though we had been using condoms I decided to take a test, well it turned out positive which I exclaimed out loud 'i'm pregnant, oh no, i've got to go give birth' I think this sums up how terrified from the beginning I was about giving birth.

I have a low pain threshold and i really looked into having a selected c-section (where doctors cut you open as opposed to pushing the baby out) but after looking into it I would have needed to be tested by psychiatrists to see if I really couldn't cope with giving birth, and i didn't want to be seen as having a mental problem so I thought i would just have to have a virginal birth.

INFORMATION

When I tried to get information from other people about giving birth it was really awful- both mine and my husbands mothers had had selected c-sections with us due to back and hip problems, so they had no idea what it was like and my friends who had given birth only wanted to tell me horror stories about it, like how their partners had to tweak their nipples to stimulate contractions???!!!
Let me clear that up- there was defiantly no nipple tweaking in my birthing experience!!!

So I watched a lot of birthing programs on the t.v- they are on everyday and are quite graphic, and instead of being horrified about the amount of pain the mother was in, I instead tried to focus my attention on how she coped with the pain- and I must say this really helped me mentally prepare myself, as I could see those that had a 'good' birth would go into themselves and concentrate on each contraction, those that had a 'bad' experience seemed to just yell and shout at people to help but not help themselves.

So, with this in mine my due date approached... and went, and another day passed by, and another. Then 5 days after my due date I had a thing called a show, which in the nicest way of describing it was like a lump of jelly falling out of me... I know not nice! Then the next day (so, 6 days after my due date) I woke up at 4am with contractions.

THE BIRTH

So, i'm awake and feeling mild period pains in my stomach which disappear then return, I know im in labour and it's not those false labour pains called braxton hicks. I wait for about half and hour before I wake up my husband who jumps out of bed and yells 'lets go to hospital', I calm him down and ask him to make me a cup of hot chocolate- after all the info the midwife at our doctors gave me say to wait until contractions are 5 minutes apart and last about 30 seconds.

I drink my hot chocolate and time the contractions until 6:30am and feel tired so I take a paracetamol and go back to bed for a sleep, until the contractions start to feel like painful period pains and I can't sleep- it's now 8am and i phone the hospital who tell me to come in to be checked out. We phone the parents who begin yelling with excitement and say to phone them when i'm in the last stages of labour so they can come to the hospital.

The trip to the hospital wasn't very nice as people were looking in the car when i was trying to breath through a painful contraction and i felt really self conscious. However 20 minutes later we were there and as my contractions were 5 minutes apart I only had 4 in the car.

We enter the hospital and it's quite quiet so I get seen straight away by a midwife, she has to stick her two fingers inside me and depending on how wide she can make them is the amount of centimeters I have dialated (It is a bit uncomfortable). She says i have dialated 2 cm and may as well go home as my waters hadn't even broken yet.

We go to the hospital cafe instead and I have a cheese whirl and backed beans- yum! I eat it in-between contractions which are getting stronger and feel like extremely bad period pains being twisted inside of me, then we go home and i have a warm bath which eases my contraction right down- i'm having them every 4 minutes but they feel like mild period pain again and my husband is timing them so he can warn me that the next one is coming and i can prepare myself to hold my breath and breath out slowly during it.

At 2pm I can't take it any more on the paracetamol and go back to the hospital, it's very busy in the maternity ward this time and i have to wait 20 minutes before i'm seen- in which time i have had about 6 contractions in a crowed waiting room- I just bit on my lip and squeezed my husbands hand and slowly let out my breath so a lot of people didn't even know I was in labour.

This time when they examine me i'm 5cm dialated and they take me to my own room- this will be the room I give birth in and stay in after (this hospital gives each mother her own room with en-suit bathroom). The midwife looks at my birth plan which goes like this:

My wants:
I would like to give birth in the birthing pool.
I would like to have gas and air but not pethidean.
I have not decided on a epidural but would not have a blood patch (i found out sometimes, the epidural goes in too far and blood taken from the mothers thigh is put into her back to relieve the labouring mother of a really bad migraine headache).
I would like the baby to be placed onto my stomach straight after the birth for skin to skin contact.
I would like to breastfeed as soon as possible after the birth

So you can see I was quite open minded about what i wanted. The midwife then tells me the birth pool is already taken by someone in labour but would get the gas and air set up for my. When i first puffed on it, I felt like my head was floating around my body and my husband said my eyes were rolling like a madman! I puffed on the gas and air and squeezed my husbands hands like hell with each contraction. I would like to point out the gas and air doesn't take the pain away but I would start puffing in and out just before the contraction started and would inhale until the peak of the pain was over then i would stop and talk to my husband and midwife until the next contraction came. The gas and air just numbs the pain so it feels like a wave of period pain.

This went on until 8pm when i went to the toilet with my husbands help in walking there and i thankfully had a poo (sorry, if it's TMI) so i didn't poo when i was pushing later on, and then went back to the bed to be examined- i was 10cm! I didn't realize that when i had felt the urge to push for the previous 10 minutes that had meant was 10cm and hadn't told the midwife. Now i was worried because my waters still hadn't broke! so i knelt on the bed facing te back wall and pushed with all my might and we heard a really loud pop and water came gushing out, along with the water came the most horrendous pain I have ever felt and the strongest urge to push, so the midwives helped me turn back round and lie and the bed (which was almost in a sitting up position), The one midwife took my leg and my husband took the other to help keep them out of the way, the other midwife was watching to get the baby and she directed me as to push and when to pant.

With each push I was screaming-not really because of the pain, which felt like a burning sensation coming out, but because I couldn't push without screaming- i tried to push without screaming but i couldn't concentrate so I ignored the midwives pleas for me to stop screaming and went for it!

20 minutes later the head came out and it felt like the pain had gone, then the last contraction for the birth came and the body slipped out, the pain was gone and a gorgeous baby boy was placed in my arms- I just remember feeling so shocked that I had a baby, I don't know why after all I had had 9 months preparing myself for the this day!

My baby boy was grey in colour, covered in blood and white stuff but I didn't care I bent down and kissed his little head and I will guarantee anyone no matter what pain you go through, this moment makes it worthwhile!

Unfortunately this isn't the end of giving birth- the placenta (this stuff that feeds the baby) need to come out and for this to happen, the midwife gave me a injection to speed it up. I felt a mild contraction and as i pushed, the midwife pulled on the cord hanging from me and it was a bit uncomfortable as it comes out but one thing i hadn't realized it was as heavy as the baby! In my case it's 9lb 1oz!
No wonder women put on so much weight.

CONCLUSION

My baby is now 20 weeks and each day is a really joy, he has been sleeping through the night for the last few weeks which we are relieved about! and one thing i hadn't mentioned is internally i had torn a little when giving birth, however it wasn't enough to be stitched, and i healed after about 5 weeks naturally.

If you are a first time parent, I know what i say probably won't make any difference as it is a worrying time for you thinking about the birth, but prepare yourself and remember at the end of it you get a baby!

A lifetime reward for a few hours of pain!