Microsoft Windows 98 - complete package

This program has performed an illegal operation in sector FF0F9283192:023859572717182 as part of WHY-THE-CRAP.DLL. Please throw this out of the Windows.

Seen that enough? I'm sure I have!! I have got to the point with all the various versions of Windows where they have become unusable for most tasks. I can't even get to the stage of loading up a word processor and typing something simple and printing it without a problem, crash, illegal operation, big blue screen, or miscellaneous mistake.

It may just be me, but I don't want to be a computer engineer just to load up a word processor and typing something out. That's why me and hundreds of other people are jumping over to 'alternative' OS'es like the Mac OS, Mac OS X and the rather technical -but still an improvement over Windows- Linux and BSD based 'Unix-a-like' systems. And however complicated they are, they have to be an improvement on DLL's, VXD's, and other errors.

To give you an example on how annoying Windows is, I'm going to give you an example...

My mother (bless her!) recentely bought a system to link her sewing machine up to her PC and transfer new stitch designs between the two. Unfortunately due to the connection it used (a 'COM' port whatever one of them is...) we had to buy a PS2 mouse and install it. That was £3 (at trade price from work... heh heh!). The trouble started here. We thought, plug it in, shove the software on, and it should all work. I thought that? And it related to a Wintel box? Why did I do that?

I later spent 4, yes FOUR hours installing, plugging in, reinstalling, checking the plug, reinstalling, fiddling about with drivers and bits and bobs. And this was a mouse?!

Eventually, we had to take it to the PC repair shop and basically it cost us £50 to have a new PCI card installed and fiddled about with so that it all worked. And we had to buy a new mouse. And another £20 consultation charge. So all in all... £70 to install a mouse! Now, Apple mice may be expensive at £39 each, but you just plug them in and turn them on.

Also at the local educational hell-hole (sorry, sixth form school) where I am studying, I am doing a course in ICT. Now, whenever I have a class, there is always, I repeat, always a problem. Some of the workstations don't boot up, or printers don't print, or mice have had their balls stolen, damaged, or smashed about with. Or monitors have been disconnected, or the servers lost work. Add to that Windows 98, one of the most aggravating, work-losing, blue-screen-instating, buggy pieces of $H1T, and Word 97 and it's helpful 'features' and you have got a machine spawned from the devil incarnate. It's true.

Windows 98 also gives you the great option to have Internet Explorer 'integrated' in to your computer. But, please excuse me. I would rather make an informed choice over what browser I use, and hopefully (with Mac OS X) I'll be using OmniWeb, a freeware browser that fits on a floppy!

And Windows ME and XP are shoving in MSN Messanger and all sorts of other stuff to lever M$'s monopoly. And there not getting split up? Please can somebody explain that to me... I also, exclusively, present the current Windows feature list... I hope you like it

• Start Menu - aka. Apple Menu
• Windows Explorer / My Computer - aka. Finder
• Recycle Bin - aka. Trash
• Windows 'Find' Command - aka. Sherlock
• Windows Media Player - aka. Apple's QuickTime and Apple's iTunes
• Internet Explorer - aka. Opera, Netscape Navigator, Mosaic (believe me, Mosaic is an improvement on MSIE5!!)
• Outlook Express - aka. Eudora
• MSN Messanger - aka. ICQ, AIM, Yahoo messanger
• Windows Movie Maker - aka. Adobe Premiere, Apple iMovie.

Can you see just a number of 'tributes' to our friends at Apple? The phrase 'imitation is the sincerest form of flattery' comes to mind. Apple are -SO- flattered I expect. Not to mention Netscape and ICQ!! Save yourself next time. Buy a Mac or Linux machine. You'll notice the difference when you can get a mice that works, or a word processor that doesn't incite swearing, vomiting, self-harm or suicide.

Since buying a Macintosh, I haven't had to make daily trips to get bug fixes and patches to stop the daily stream of viruses, bugs, mistakes, screwups and other other 'computer nasties'. Even IE5 works fairly well on the Mac (apart from it's extrenous memory demands!). As the saying goes: "Apple may have made mistakes in the past, but at least they remembered the year 2000."

Actually, come to think about it a ZX81 is an improvement on Windows 98. Or a 'Pong' machine. Come on Ciao, it's times like this we need a '0' star option!

Just remember, Windows machines are cheaper to buy, but to maintain cost hundreds of thousands more. Windows 3.1 users, think yourself lucky, your not missing a great deal.

Join my campaign: Make your next PC a Mac!