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I found this book lying around whilst staying in a hostel in Alice Springs. My friend had gone on a day trip to Ayres Rock, so I was left to entertain myself. At first I presumed it was an autobiography, it didn't look particularly grabbing and I had never seen or heard of it before. However, it was worth a read to see if it could conquer my boredom. I spent the whole day reading the book, and unaware as my friend returned I was practically giggling my pants off and she was intrigued to know what was so funny.
Who is Ellen DeGeneres?
I had previously only known Ellen as an short actress in an American sitcom modestly named after hers truly. I had watched it only half heartedly a few times, and truthfully speaking I had never found it particularly funny. I have since learnt that she is indeed a rather busy lady and has her fingers in quite a lot of pies. She was born in Lousiana in 1958 and started out doing stand up comedy in New Orleans. She did the voice of Dory - Nemo's forgetful companion in the 2003 animation Finding Nemo. She has also been awarded with the title Americas funniest person.
I have to say the cover is cheesy as hell. The book was published in 1995 (Bantam Books) so it does now look incredibly dated. There is a picture of Ellen wearing a stonewashed denim jacket with a colgate grin - think 1990s America!
What is the Point?
After finishing the book the only way I can describe it as just complete and utter enjoyable neurotic nonsense. It is not a traditional autobiograpy, its basically just a load of warbling with no actual point which will make most people laugh out loud. I loaned the book to my friend the following day and she read it in a day also (prior to that I think she had only read 2 books in her life). This is an incredibly easy book to read, and one I have now read a couple of times for light relief when I'm feeling stressed. Its the kind of book you can pick up and start at any chapter, its all nonsense and after all theres no order to nonsense.
An idea of some of the chapters are included below
Thanks for No Memory
The introduction is not full of facts like the standard autobiography. Ellen reveals her date and place of birth, then goes completely off the point blaming her memories not good, and coming up with numerous theories as to why it's not. She goes on to investigate her early childhood by interviewing a neighbour who says she was a fat kid and her parents had to roll her where ever they wanted her to go.
A Letter to my Friend
This is an apology letter that Ellen claims to have written to a friend, justifying her own behaviour at a party, very funny.
Hilarious nonsense on postive thinking, some of her affirmations including; I am the worlds tallest midget, I look good in bell bottoms, Being grubby equals being cool, I'm smarter than my dogs (well smarter than one of my dogs), I mean to get ripped off
Ellen DeGeneres: Road Warrior
This is Ellen doing storytime for a couple of kids in her neighbourhood. She hands them out Margherita's whilst they listen to her spin a tale.
The Plane Truth
This chapter is aimed at conquering Ellens fear of flying. Extremely neurotic and hilarious.
I went to a Psychic
Ellen decides the only rational way to find out how successful her book is going to be is by visiting a psychic. She is impressed with the fact that her book will be on a best-seller list for 25 years, but is not as impressed with the fact she will actually have to sit down and finishing writing it first.
How to Explain Sex to a Child
Some of her approaches to this subject are hilarious, she concludes, however, that the best way is to just allow your child to watch cable TV.
In the Kitchen with Ellen
Ellen tells us how to make french frenchy toast, which she says is a great treat to hand out to trick or treaters on halloween. Apparently it does take a good year or two to cook if your heating it up over the cable box though. If you're without a kitchen a good alternative is to heat it over approxiately 80 candles.
I have not seen the book for sale in the UK, but I purchased a used copy on Ebay for £2.00. So if you're interested I'd check it out there.
I would highly recommend this book. I have passed it to nearly all of my female friends, who were cheered up to no end. It's currently in my bathroom as although I have read it several times, I find it comes in handy for toilet reading as you can just start reading from any point. (sorry maybe a bit too much information)
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