My Resolutions

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My Resolutions

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Review of "My Resolutions"

published 01/01/2006 | Mayclair
Member since : 22/08/2005
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"I'LL DO IT... 'MY WAY'"

HURRAH for 2006!

A new year and a new start
At this time of year I usually make my New Year resolutions and they usually last for about 1 day. Shame, Shame, Shame on me! This year I thought I would share them with you…

Resolution Number 1

I am sick of dieting so I am not going to do it anymore. I am going to gorge myself on chocolate, fried foods, pasta with heavy cream laden sauces, potatoes (every way there is to cook them), Cream Cakes, cream on Cream Cakes and cream in sauces… and cream on anything I can put cream on…topped with chocolate…oh, and BREAD…smothered in BUTTER!!

Resolution Number 2

I am going to start drinking…I don't drink but I would like to… I want to taste all the fabulous things you find in good wine, Fruit and such…I lay the blame for this firmly with JohnGroom…He makes wine sound like chocolate…and you all know my passion for chocolate..

Resolution Number 3

I have never smoked so I'm going to start and I don't mean cigarettes. NO, not for me…I am going to smoke cigars! Havanas or Peruvian Long Ones or something exotic like that. I might even try 'wacky baccy'….

Resolution Number 4

To knee in the nether regions any man who thinks it is his god-given right to grope the singer. Oh yes, I love this one!

Resolution Number 5

I am going to Spend, Spend, Spend! Why not? I have always been good with money, rainy day and all that. Stuff it! As far as I'm concerned its 'Monsoon' season…

Resolution Number 6

The most exercise I am going to do is picking up the remote control….

There you have it. My New Year Resolutions.
Will they last? I doubt it! They will probably go the way of all good resolutions to that 'Great Resolution Graveyard in the Sky'. So…. as I finish the last of my HUGE chip doorstep of a butty washed down with the last of this bottle of red wine and pick up my overly large slice of Cream Cake topped with REAL Devon Cream (and chocolate sprinkles) and manage another drag on my cigar. I ask you to think about YOUR resolutions. Question your motives, gird you loins, sally forth and god bless you and all who sail in you!

Happy New Year Everybody

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Comments on this review

  • baeswoman published 05/01/2007
    Now these are the sort of resolutions anyone could keep. Andi
  • jesi published 27/04/2006
    HOW ON EARTH DID I MISS this review? I was just reading back to make sure I hadn't missed any, and THIS WAS HILARIOUS!! ~ .................................................................................................... ~ ♥ ~ jes ~ ♥♥
  • L0BSTER_QUADRILLE published 06/03/2006
    Your resolutions are fab !
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Product Information : My Resolutions

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Listed on Ciao since: 12/06/2003