It was that time of year again. Husband's birthday. Over the years, of which there have now been many, we have settled into a pattern of present buying. He buys me something nice to wear because he claims, rightly, that I have no taste when it comes to choosing clothes for myself. I buy ... Read review
Terry and Monica Darlington are intrepid pensioners who made the surprising decision to ... more
sail their canal narrowboat Phillis May sixteen hundred miles across France and down to the Mediterranean accompanied only by their whippet Jim. They took advise from nautical experts who told them they would lose their boat and their lives (and indeed their whippet Jim). "Narrow Dog to Carcassonne" is a true story of high adventure in France England Belgium and out at sea as experienced by two innocents and a reluctant dog. On board the Phillis May you share in a very different way of life. You go rabbiting in Oxfordshire tie up among the bankers in the City of London live among history in Flanders drift through Champagne throw a rope around the Eiffel Tower struggle with hostile life forms in Burgundy float down the Saone from vineyard to vineyard get swept along by the terrible Rhone from Lyon to Avignon dip your toes in the Mediterranean and sail across inland seas among the flamingos of the Camargue. Breakdowns floods accidents hangovers vandals dicks trolls aliens gongoozlers killer fish and the walking dead stand between our intrepid crew and their goal - many-to
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Advantages: Funny and well written Disadvantages: Too much of a good thing
...Phyllis May, a narrowboat so narrow "that you have to live sideways", buffeting across the high seas and one of the busiest shipping lanes in the world, completely dwarfed by container ships and tankers, and with swamping a very real possibility. Further on, they have to negotiate the Bollène lock on the Rhône, the second deepest in Europe. I have never been through a canal lock. If I thought about them at all, it was in an Art of Coarse ... ...and come-uppance. I had not considered what it must be like in a very small boat with lock-sides 75 feet high on either side of you and 200 million gallons of water about to pour in (it takes 10 minutes).
Then there's Jim the pork scratchings loving whippet. Turning an animal into a character is not an easy trick to pull off - there's a danger of overly sentimental anthropomorphism. Writers whose business is animals, such as Gerald ... more
It was that time of year again. Husband's birthday. Over the years, of which there have now been many, we have settled into a pattern of present buying. He buys me something nice to wear because he claims, rightly, that I have no taste when it comes to choosing clothes for myself. I buy him some luxurious chocs and a few books. The books can be about anything, but there has to be a travel book. Not necessarily from the top, literary end of the genre, although he enjoys William Dalrymple and Peter Levi; just a good read and evocative descriptions.
So I was browsing the travel section of a well-known high street store (OK, Waterstones) when my eyes lighted on this. The title looked promising, incorporating as it did boats, France and whimsy in four words. I turned to the back cover and read:
"When they retired Terry and Monica Darlington decided to sail their canal narrowboat across the Channel and down to the Mediterranean, together with their whippet Jim. They took advice from experts, who said they would die, together with their whippet Jim."
I flicked it open and happened upon this discourse on French hypermarkets, their size, and the odd opening hours of their constituent parts:
"Don't try to understand these things - every nation has its private parts, where no light falls. Think of the Financial Services Authority, or Prince Michael of Kent.
"Monica was at the other end of the Leclerc fresh fruit section but there was a slight mist so I couldn't see her. We reunited joyfully by the fifty yards of soup in boxes, and by asking directions worked our way to the checkout just before Jim died of grief outside."
He'll like this, I thought. And he did.
So did I, when I eventually got my hands on it. On the face of it, it is the story of a journey from A to B, by an unusual mode of transport, and the adventures that befall them on the way. A common enough device, and successful if well written and well observed. It certainly passes that test, but it is Terry's musings and observations and his take on life that make it different. It is also a book of many parts as we shall see.
Funny, of course, and there is plenty of material for humour. Canals and waterways seem to be inhabited by species of human beings that are extinct elsewhere, their outlandish lifestyles, philosophies and eccentricities being too out of kilter with the rest of "normal" humanity. Even Terry finds them odd, but he delivers some delightfully rich descriptions of his passing contact with them. The humour is droll, dead-pan, witty, character-situation driven so that all it needs are a few pointed comments from the author to generate hilarity. Honestly, you couldn't make up some of these episodes. In truth, most of us would identify Terry with these characters. Consider the evidence: in retirement, he is about to undertake a highly dangerous sea crossing in a boat totally unsuited for the purpose. He knows little about engines; he writes poetry. He often sees his mother's ghost, usually at times of stress. He has to take sea-sick pills. He contemplated crossing the Channel lashed to another narrowboat whose owner's only "blue water experience" was being rescued in a cruiser off Padstow. At one remove he's great entertainment but I would guess he's not the sort of chap you'd want as a neighbour or, worse, living under the same roof or deck-hatch. Monica, I take my hat off to you.
But more than funny, it also has moments of pathos, poignancy and great beauty. Terry brings his poet's eye to their adventure and the story develops in an episodic way, each vignette sketched by some deft strokes of lovely writing. I was tempted to quote my favourite lines, but resisted, as to get the best effect they have to come as a surprise. He loves poetry and quotes liberally. The Canterbury Tales is an apt favourite, with the parallels of a journey peopled by a motley collection who all have their contribution to make. He is in fact a highly cultured chap, not an innocent abroad, and there is some disingenuousness about his persona of an old codger.
And it is an adventure. The fact that it is a very funny book should not let us overlook the very real dangers involved in the journey. Personally, I wouldn't dream of crossing the Channel in anything under about 30,000 tons, but here we have the Phyllis May, a narrowboat so narrow "that you have to live sideways", buffeting across the high seas and one of the busiest shipping lanes in the world, completely dwarfed by container ships and tankers, and with swamping a very real possibility. Further on, they have to negotiate the Bollène lock on the Rhône, the second deepest in Europe. I have never been through a canal lock. If I thought about them at all, it was in an Art of Coarse Sailing kind of way, a source of slapstick humour, farce and come-uppance. I had not considered what it must be like in a very small boat with lock-sides 75 feet high on either side of you and 200 million gallons of water about to pour in (it takes 10 minutes).
Then there's Jim the pork scratchings loving whippet. Turning an animal into a character is not an easy trick to pull off - there's a danger of overly sentimental anthropomorphism. Writers whose business is animals, such as Gerald Durrell or James Herriot, succeeded by detailed and amusing descriptive language born of years of knowledge. Jim is simply another of the strange, slightly depressive characters that people the book, who happens to have four legs and a body "so thin you can see through it". Although he is a pet there is no sentimentalism (asked by a passer-by if he is a good boat dog, Terry replies "No, rubbish.") When Terry is unwell and Jim cries too much, Terry threatens "Shut up, or you're in a sack and over the side." Jim cried some more; Jim cries a lot. Jim also speaks, in the sense that he is given direct speech, although not too often to be tiresome. In the end I concluded that Jim is merely a thin version of Terry (and not just in his need for seasick pills). He is his alter ego. Unleashed, he is a free elemental spirit, but shackled and muzzled by the demands of everyday life and society he is reduced to an odd-looking individual somewhat on the margins.
Interviewed for the purposes of this review, Mr Chouchinciao declared the book "very enjoyable but a bit eclectic". I nodded sagely in agreement; thinking about it later I know what he means. It is densely packed with a parade of unlikely characters, richly seamed with allusions, highly evocative in language and varied in style. Dare one say, it is slightly over-egged. One needs to draw breath. A firm editor would have helped, and this would not have impeded Terry's individualism. 100 pages elapse before the journey actually begins: a kind of prologue, to use the Canterbury Tales analogy, during which we become acquainted with Terry's voice and style, but it's just a little too long.
But in conclusion, very enjoyable. If you are still to go on holiday and need a book, leave Dan Tan and his Daft Inches at home and take this instead. It will take you longer to read, absorb you more, have you laughing out loud and dabbing your eyes. It is a very life-affirming read. If you're hooked, you'll be glad to know that Terry, Monica and Jim are embarking on another journey in the Phyllis May, down the Intracoastal Waterway from Virginia to Florida. If it comes to a confrontation between Terry and the 'gators my money's on Terry.
Cover price £6.99, Amazon price £5.59, 397 pages, printed for some reason in an indigo font. I kept looking for the contrast button, or Ctrl A, font colour, automatic. Maybe there is a purpose for books on-line after all.
Additional material: no, this is not a DVD, but there is extra stuff at the end. "French in Fifteen Minutes" is a phrase book only Terry could write. This is followed by a long interview with Terry about the journey and his writing of the book - somewhat superfluous if you've already read it. Then the paperback editor gives a short account of meeting Terry at a reception, and all your beliefs about this being an odd bloke indeed are confirmed. Finally there is a list of all the literary and poetical allusions, chapter by chapter. Patronising as it assumes you've missed many of them; annoying because you have.
Advantages: Cracking good read! Disadvantages: The book ended...i wanted more!
...of the year on a narrow boat and love the life, I enjoy boating and all that it entails and when at home occasionally watch 'Water World' on Discovery channel. This book 'Narrow Dog to Carcasonne' has been featured on the programme and serialised for television. In spite of enjoying the television look into the adventures of Terry Darlington, Monica and Jim's adventures, I'd never got round to reading the book, until Jean passed it on. I am reviewing ... ...12.6 x 3 cm. Narrow Dog to Carcassonne was published in 2005. It became a top ten best seller and has sold over 150,000 copies. ==The Book== Narrow Dog to Carcasonne is the true account of the adventure undertaken in a narrow boat suited to cruising at 4mph on the inland waterways. A few moments of beer induced bravado by retired Terry Darlington and a male friend, laid the plans for an epic voyage across the English Channel through the French canal ...
brittle1906 29.06.2009
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Narrow Dog to Carcassonne - Terry Darlington
Advantages: Makes you want to do the trip yourself Disadvantages: Puts you off ever doing the trip yourself
...of pensioners to navigate a narrow boat from Stoke in Staffordshire through the canals of France to the Carcassonne region. It would have probably have been safer and less eventful if either the author or his wife had any idea of what they were doing, but it is all too apparent that they had not. Fortunately their whippet Jim, who can be viewed in a disgusting pose on Terry's web site, seems to have some sense of self preservation and, despite his ... ...the sympathies of characters crucial to their survival, who would otherwise have been justified in having Terry and his wife sectioned or whatever the equivalent is in France.
This entrancing book is full of literary conceits and contradictions. His style of writing so lacks artifice that not only does he manage to use powerful imagery avoiding simile, but that he refuses to kow tow to such ridiculous conventions as inverted commas; and one has ...
annie777flower 11.10.2007 (10.10.2007)
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Narrow Dog to Carcassonne - Terry Darlington
Advantages: A great story, very well told Disadvantages: It ended!
This is the tale of Jim, who is a whippet. And his two companions (the humans who mistakenly believe that they own him) Terry and Monica Darlington. And their "brave" decision, on retiring, to take a canal narrowboat the Phyllis May, all the way from Staffordshire to Carcassonne in Southern France.
Everyone told them that they were mad, or brave, or stupid or brave in a madly, stupid way. The upshot of this advice was that they were more intent ... ...The kind of bad habits that endear dogs to people who are not their owners. His habit of begging in pubs is told by Terry in a fashion that is both highly amusing and original in tone.
Terry's sense of humour that shines through the telling of this tale has brought a unique voice to the fore of British writing and it is to be hoped that Terry will write many more books in the future.
Terry's life before he retired would make a very deep mine for ...
Martinscholes 16.07.2006
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Narrow Dog to Carcassonne - Terry Darlington
Advantages: Humour that 'll make you wet your pants! Disadvantages: More laundrey...
...in Florida, again on their narrow boat, The Phylis May.
Back to the book in hand though...
Narrow dog to Carcassone is to date one of the funniest reads this year. Terry is a retired (but never retiring) reluctant adventure-seeker. After a rash decision to take the Phylis May across the channel, Terry is filled with a mixture of fear, regret and obligation. He has told people of his plans, who in turn have told more people... a.s.o.!
Their adventure ... ...are a must read. Terry's humour is second to none and his wife Monica has to be admired. And Jim, well read this book for yourselves and make your own minds up.
Bytheway, my sister snaffled my copy so quickly that I'm unable to give you the desired quotes... If you do get this book, I'll be surprised if you're disappointed.
One last word, you don't have to be a pensioner to appreciate this rib-tickling yarn. ...
thinkingforyou67 26.07.2006
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