... She has been put together by those great people at Nestle who I think deserve a standing ovation for a fantastic job with this wee babe. Oh come on don't be a blinking bore, stand up and give a clap, let's make it a Ciao online ovation. Just humour me ok………
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A review by BadCompany77 on Nestle Yorkie November 21st, 2006
Author's product rating:
Product Quality
Excellent
Taste
Delicious
Smell
Very nice
How loyal are you to this brand?
Very
Advantages:
Great Bite
Disadvantages:
Very Filling
Recommend to potential buyers:
yes
Full review
Tis Love At First Bite………..
Well tis a cold wee Tuesday in Belfast and I am feeling cold as I am driving to work but I am kept going by the fact I am going to have a Yorkie bar when I arrive into work. Why you ask, well it's simple really. My name is "Art", "Ciao Art" and reviews are my game!.....................
I wheel spin into the office car park expecting to impress but am only met with the office junior mouthing the word "Twat". Still I smirk in to myself as she has not discovered the land that is Ciao and ha she won't be doing a review on a Yorkie bar. Ok let's see if I have 45p first or else this review is going down the tubes. Fear not, I have it!! And as the bar drops out of the vending machine I turn my computer on and load up Word. Let the review begin!!...............
I like the size of the Yorkie bar, nicely built and most definitely thick, jeeez it sounds just the same as the wife. Anyway the wrapper is a nice metallic blue colour with really bold lettering for the letters wording Yorkie. The O of course has that toilet figure of a female with a red line through her much the same as a traffic warning. This of course represents the famous Yorkie saying "It's not for girls"..Being the crazy madcap world we live in and the claim society we have created I am surprised nobody has taken them up for sexual discrimination yet…....
Anyway I am slowly taking the wrapping off and my hands are trembling with excitement, well either that or the fact I haven't had a drink in a week. Oh my god look at this bar in its full nakedness, it's a wee stunner. Five thick pieces of pure chocolate and you can see this is no cheap one night stand. This wee beauty is a bar you will most certainly be seeing for a 2nd date. I go to break the bar but realise the moment just isn't right, something is missing. "Yeah yer blinking brain you frutcase". No it was not my brain but something much more important, my cup of tea. How could I even think of insulting this crisp little beauty of a Yorkie by eating her naked body without the hot tea dripping down the length of her. I must go and get myself a cup before I continue.....................
****************** Off Making my Tea Interlude ***************** Ok I hope you all didn't bugger off as I am back with a piping hot cup of tea in my Rupert Bear mug. Anyway I lift up the first bit of Yorkie and slowly put it in my mouth. Mmmmmm this bar is really thick and even this one piece is filling even my mouth, so be careful if you have a wee tiny mouth. Is there actually such a thing as a female with a small mouth, I doubt it…Anyway god the chocolate is now melting in my mouth and it's just orgasmic..I am feeling the chocolate just firing round my whole bodily system and jeeez I feel a real energy rush or maybe I just need to go to the toilet…...........I am now into the last bit of the Yorkie and I must admit I am beginning to feel a bit full up. "Yeah probably because it's only 9am and it's too early to be eating chocolate you twat". "I really wish you would stop talking to me like that, it's both rude and uncalled for"..God I had to force that last bit down me so I can see how the peeps at Yorkie have said this is not a bar for females. It's really a mans bar and not for a little weak girl. "Yeah rite, look at the food the wife shoves down her gob, have you forgotten that". "Yeah you are right, she could woof a Yorkie down in one go I suppose"……....Ok Yorkie facts…This wee cutie weighs in at 68g but hell you wouldn't think it as she's as slinky as hell. She has been put together by those great people at Nestle who I think deserve a standing ovation for a fantastic job with this wee babe. Oh come on don't be a blinking bore, stand up and give a clap, let's make it a Ciao online ovation. Just humour me ok………The best before date on this bugger is actually under the foil but mine is still way in date. The ingredients are Sugar of course for that morning Buzz, Dried whole milk, Cocoa butter ( yukkk), Vegetable fat ( jeez my poor heart), Whey powder, Lactose, Butterfat, Emulsifiers and a pile of old flavouring stuff…..Jeeez I think that Cocoa butter is starting to turn over in my stomach now, wish I hadn't have read that now !!................. Oh look they have a Contact us Free number. It's 0800604604 for the good old uk. 0080063785385 for Ireland…Oh happy days they even have a website at www.nestle.co.uk...I am gonna have a wee nosey at it, back in a wee minute…......... **************** Looking at Website Break ************************Well the site is pretty basic to be honest and I got bored after about 5 mins. There is a thing that has Xmas ideas by Felix who is a cat. Don't bother looking ok, it's a pile of cack but do have a look at the website as it has a health section and also covers other Nestles products……..Overall I recommend the Yorkie bar but beware ladies it is one mean big bugger of a bar. I am also impressed by Nestles as well and would have no hesitation in giving them my Art award for the month of November. Anyway that's my tea finished and I feel full of energy thanks to my Yorkie. "So what did ya think of that review then, did I describe the taste ok?". "Yeah I think you did really good" "But did I leave anything out, I don't want that Jesi or anyone else yapping" "Trust me it's fine, now publish the damn thing"…….Once again I thank you for your read; you really are very kind peeps. I love you all so much and I just wish I had friends like you. "We have friends?" "Jeeeez you always have to make me look like a dick don't you" "Nahh you do a good enough job on yer own"......................
This has of course been a BadCompany Production 2006……….
Advantages: IT'S NOT JUST FOR BOYS !!! Disadvantages: IT'S NOT JUST FOR BOYS !!!
...bought myself a bar of nestle yorkie I haven’t tried these before but I was thinking of someone at the time and I felt sure this was the sort of chocolate he would like, so I decided to try it for myself. I bought a nice big monster bar and as you must know by now the advertising for this particular bar has taken a bit of a bashing.
First of all it calls itself the macho bar,and the television adverts are always banging away how it is not a girls ... ...biscuit,there are several different types there are almond,milk chocolate,chocolate and raisen. I also believe a honeycomb one is now available.
Anyway this one is a 70g bar at the price of 40 pence,it is in a shiny maroon coloured packet with the words yorkie in large yellow letters the O being in white with a picture of a lady and a red cross through it meaning of course off limits to women.
This sort of negative advertising gets my back up if ...
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Ciao members have rated this review on average very helpful
Advantages: Larger than the average chunks Disadvantages: Slightly over priced
...41.3g
Fat 20.7g
Nestle Consumer Service: PO Box 203, York, Y091 1XY Tel. 0800 000039 (UK only). Trade Mark Owners: 2001 Societe des Produits Nestle SA, Vevey, Switzerland,
Visit www.nestle.co.uk for more details
Look out for my other Concise Opinions on: Cadburys Cream Egg, Cadburys Double Deckers, McVities Munch Bites, Nestle Walnut Whip and the Mars Bar. ...
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Advantages: Huge chocolate bar Disadvantages: perhaps too big for one person
...other side of the bar Nestle have written “original” so you know which variety you are getting.
I removed the wrapper and revealed a huge slab of chocolate. It sat there on my kitchen table looking like a blunt weapon. I smelt it and was rewarded with a very chocolaty smell. It smelt just like the Easter egg chocolate you get with Nestle Easter eggs such as the Smarties Easter egg. Flip the bar over and you see that the Yorkie is divided up into ... ...twice the size of an ordinary square of chocolate (such as you would find in a Cadbury’s Dairy Milk bar). I reckon they were at least half an inch high. Each ingot had “Yorkie” stamped on top.
The first piece broke off with perhaps a little more effort that is needed with smaller chocolate bars. There was no audible snap but then again it has been very warm recently so the chocolate was probably a little soft. The piece was almost too big to put ...
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Advantages: Big and satisfying (just how I like my men) Disadvantages: Really?
...the latest marketing ploy from Nestle and actually think that they have got it all wrong!
The latest campaign tells us that the Yorkie bar is for men only. It “doesn’t come in pink”, is “king sized, not queen sized” and shouldn’t be used to “feed the birds”. Basically “it’s not for girls”. Strangely enough, this campaign (following on from the more traditional, and certainly less ... ...(raisin and biscuit). Surely Nestle have omitted to notice the feminine appeal here. I like my men big and chunky – that’s Yorkie. I like my men to have substance – that’s Yorkie. Men like their women sexy – that’s not Yorkie. They like variety – that’s not Yorkie.
The adverts are intended to be tongue in cheek (as is much of my opinion) but have we really come this far? I don’t want to be told ...
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Advantages: Taste good and good value for money Disadvantages: Very sweet and sickly.
...a few of the vitals,
Nutritional Information per bar;
Energy 370Kcal
Fat 20.7g
Ingredients include;
Milk Chocolate, vegetable fats and emulsifiers.
Produced for Nestle Consumer Services, PO Box 203, York, YO91 1XY
Web Site www.nestle.co.uk An excellent chocolate bar which despite the advertising is for anybody. ...
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Advantages: Reasonable value for money, for choccie fiends Disadvantages: Not for allergy sufferers, size
...chipped or broken teeth from eating one of these.
Our beast of a bar cost £2.49 from Tesco’s and they have been brought out for Fathers Day. That works out at 134 calories and just over 20p a segment! Whether these will be around after Fathers Day, I don’t know and there’s no mention of it on the Nestle website.
This is not suitable for allergy sufferers as it obviously contains milk, lactose and whey powder. There is no information regarding nuts on the packaging.
Contact details :
Nestle
P.O. Box 203,
York
YO91 1XY
Tel 0800 604604
www.nestle.co.uk
A final thought for all you guys reading this thinking You’re the Daddy’ and you can handle a Man-size Yorkie, just remember these three things……..a) your trouser pockets aren’t deep enough to hold this whopper…….b) even if they were it would soon go soft and…c) us girls...
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Advantages: Tstes lovely, really god value for money, melts in your mouth Disadvantages: None Ican think of
...at all, and watching my weight is not something I've ever done, thank God, so I grabbed 2 and went off to pay for them.
I noticed how heavy they are as soon as I picked it up. Each one weighs 300g apparantly and they come in a lot of packaging as well, which makes it look even more massive! The bar is in the usual colour of the Yorkie bar but is has an extra large cardboard bit that sticks out the top, and this says in big letters, "You're the Daddy!" On the bottom bit it says " YORKIE TOP DAD". I know it's meant to be sold for dad's on Father's Day and that's why they couldn't get rid of them because we're well past that time of the year and they just wanted to get shot of them so they were selling them off cheap. Great, I thought! They had a short date on them as well, so I think that's why they were reduced, but I don't mind old...
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Advantages: large taste nice, nice cold Disadvantages: not for girls, thick to heavy
...Right as a dad and a 30 something some of a truck driver I have a great affiliation with the good old Yorker as I guess being launched in 1976 the year I was born I should have an attachment.
I am surprised at the new sort of sexist slant on the not for girls slogan but it is quite chunky I guess and not to lady unlike.
Yorkies are great I have fond memories of a kid watching the adverts with the trucks and drivers.
I love my chocolate and although not my number one from time to time I do like the odd yorkie specially oversized ones like this at 300g of rock heavy milk chocolate.
You could defiantly say this bar wasn't for a girl as it was big and heavy; it was also packaged in a cardboard box.
Its not to healthy either having 94g of fat in it 11 by 1 inch size, and over 1500 calories, which is artery blocking stuff, but...
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15.06.2007
19.06.2007
