Norbreck Castle Hotel, Blackpool

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Norbreck Castle Hotel, Blackpool

Norbreck Castle Hotel is perfectly located for holidays, short breaks and weekend visits to Blackpool. The hotel hosts 480 en-suite bedrooms, many wit...

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Review of "Norbreck Castle Hotel, Blackpool"

published 19/08/2008 | Dave1976
Member since : 19/08/2008
Reviews : 1
Members who trust : 0
About me :
Pro It has 18 wheeler in the arcade!
Cons It has secret communes of people hidden away...
very helpful

"Norbreck Castle Hotel - Armish Paradise"

I'm laughing as I'm writing this, because I simply cannot believe what we've just experienced! We booked with National Holidays and were given The Norbreck Castle as a dwelling place! I got onto the net and couldn't believe my luck when I was presented with beautiful pictures of a fantastic castle with amazing facilities! We travelled down on the coach looking forward to our stay at this amazing castle!
The coach arrived and my jaw quite simply hit the floor. It looks like an eastern european prison. The driver on the coach then announced, "Oh, and by the way folks, you can't check into your rooms untill 3pm!" Which was great, considering it was 10am.
We entered the hotel and were greeted with a wonderful 1970s reception with lovely wooden revolving doors which felt as if they were about to fall off. Everything from the reception desk to the celing were noticably unclean. Everything which was supposed to be white was actually a wonderful tinge of yellow, as if people had chainsmoked in there since 1832. Which was probably the case.
We wanderd off the centre of Blackpool on a tram (which was a considerable journey I can tell you!) and went to the fairground.
We had to leave our luggage in a large, 1960s style room. We assumed someone would have locked it, but on our return we simply opened the door and picked up our bags. Nobody challenged us or anything, which was strange considering the room was full of people's stuff. Anyway, we were told that dinner would be served at 18:30. So we checked in (at last) and were given our room card. This was suprising, as the hotel did not give the impression of being advanced enough to have such technology. We got the lift up to the first floor and went to our room. The smell of sweaty socks in the corridor was gorgeous, just the scent one looks for in a hotel.
We popped the security card onto the slot on the door, only to be met with a red light followed by BEEP BEEP BEEP!!! After several attempts (and my wife's rising anger) I headed back to the reception where a very surly woman snatched the card from me and pretended to mess around with before sending me away to try it again. Again, I got the same beeps and flashes as before. So a third time, I went back to reception and was told to go back to my room and wait for a member of Staff to assist me in opening my door.
So up came a bloke (who was friendly and helpful) who opened the door with a universal skelton card. We entered the room and nearly choked on the welcoming stench of stale cigarettes and vomit. The bloke then told me he wanted to move us to the top floor because our lock was broke. So we followed him up to the top with our bags where we were shown to our new room. The room was ok, didn't smell of anything and the member of staff was helpful. And we had a better view of the council estate out the back of the hotel.
Finally, we got ready and went down for dinner. We had soup to start followed by a buffet, which again was fine. Really.
The only small gripe about the canteen was the waiter who we asked for drinks. He told us he'd send someone over. Nobody came. We reminded him 10 mins later that we want a drink. He said he'd send someone over. Nobody came. We reminded him again so he shrugged and said, "Well, if people are too busy, know?"
So in other words, we can't be arsed to take your drinks order.
Eventually, some bloke came over and took our drinks order and brought the drinks (thanks, whoever you were).
Afterwards, we had a wander round the hotel. We found 2 arcade rooms with fruit machines and a few arcade games (which were old but fun). We also came across an air hockey machine which swallowed my £1 coin and a pool table which was torn, smashed and stained. Nice. Then we checked out the Cinema - and we were greeted with Evan Almighty being projected onto the wall and a few rows of seats. Actually, the cinema wasn't too bad.
Then we took a look at the swimming pool & gym etc, which was without doubt the highlight of the hotel.
Afterwards, being a little adventurous, I looked into a function room (where a lot of noise was being made) and found a huge (and I mean huge, like Dr Who's tardis type huge, like physically too big to be contained in the hotel...) room. But it was the contents of the room which was even more baffling. There was about 4000 orthaox Jews in the huge room riding around on bicycles.
No, really. In the back of The Norbreck Castle Hotel is a very well hidden, massive commune of Jews.
Why? I have absolutely no idea. I personally have nothing against Jews or anything. But there was a remarkable number of them skulking around in secret at the back of the hotel. It was as if they were trying to hide - and every room they were in was emblazened with "KEEP OUT" signs. I was like the Gremilns movie, were a particuar type of being would hide away in a building. Occasionally, you may see one hurrying past. But open a door with KEEP OUT on it, and you suddenly begin to understand why it's all so secret...
Behind that door is a portal to Jerusalam.
The night time entertainment was good - apparently performed by members of staff. They was one performer entertaining the kids, who was actually quite witty.
Later, there were two singers with backing dancers who were also quite good. The singers were obviously amongst the British minority of the hotel staff. But they were good singers, and thats whats counts.
After several pints, we went to bed. We got up at 8am and had breakfast. The food was OK, but the eating area really does have a..."THE SHINING" feel to it.
Then we had a swim, sauna etc which was the highlight of our stay.
Then were were informed that we had to check out for 10:30.
Again our bags were dumped in an open room untill 2PM when our coach arrived.
Would we return to The Norbreck Castle Hotel?
Yes. Because you don't go to Blackpool for luxury. If you expect luxury in Blackpool, choose another destination. :)

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Comments on this review

  • lml888v published 19/08/2008
    Welcome to Ciao. Very interesting 1st review. Thanks.
  • headcase44 published 19/08/2008
    Hello and welcome to Ciao.... a very good start to your reviewing, but mind if I make a suggestion ?? Break up the paragraphs and have decent spacings.. This enables the reader to have an easier read and as I do a lot of reading quite late at night and the old eyes are tired, this helps to flow read better.... Hope you didnt mind a small piece of advice that I was given when I started on Ciao... The review was top class though. Thanks. J.x
  • manlybeach published 19/08/2008
    I often wondered what when on these castles.... now I know! Entertaining and useful 1st review Welcome to ciao!
  • Did you find this review interesting? Do you have any questions? Sign into your Ciao account to leave the author a comment. Log in

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Product Information : Norbreck Castle Hotel, Blackpool

Manufacturer's product description

Norbreck Castle Hotel is perfectly located for holidays, short breaks and weekend visits to Blackpool. The hotel hosts 480 en-suite bedrooms, many with sea views and provides a set menu in the main restaurant and bar. The Norbreck Castle is an ideal family hotel providing plenty of entertainment for children. The exclusive 36-seater hotel cinema plays a number of children's films and cartoons.

Product Details

Rating: 2 Stars

Rooms: 400

Type: Hotel

Address: Queens Promenade, Blackpool, Lancashire, FY2 9AA

City: Blackpool

Country: England

County: Lancashire


Listed on Ciao since: 23/08/2003